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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 191 – Proof is in the Potion

Chapter 191 – Proof is in the Potion

By the time Boopzy dumped his sixth basket of collected ingredients at my feet and I’d yet to go through the first I knew I’d made a mistake. The small Tentarat turned, his basket held aloft on happily wavering tentacles to rush back into the depths of the swamp.

“Woah, woah little buddy,” I said, Blinking forward to scoop him up before he could disappear all over again. “That’s more than enough.”

Screee!

“No seriously, please stop.”

The light of Cassie’s fire glimmered in the wet orbs of Boopzy’s eyes as his tentacles sagged and his basket dropped to the ground, rolling a fair distance before it came to a stop. The entirety of him, even the ratlike parts, deflated like a popped balloon.

Feeling a little bad I added, “Look, if something in this pile makes for a killer potion I’ll let you go gathering again. Sound good?”

Screee!

In my mind, that meant yes. I tickled him under his furry chin before dumping him in a wiggling blob into my chest pocket. I’d missed the weight of him there when he’d been busy changing Nora’s mind about him. And so he had. She no longer looked at the creature with disgust and though she said he was still gross she didn’t flinch when picking him up. My plan had worked and I was intensely proud of myself for thinking of it.

Stella followed me around as I gathered up the pile and with a small amount of caution dumped it all into my bum bag. The new item notification flashed like mad, filling my vision with blazing golden letters made blinding by the blanket of darkness around us. No amount of swatting at them made them disappear until they were ready to.

When my vision cleared I eyed the bubbling cauldron sitting on the roaring fire. Cassie stood over it, stirring the thick glop inside it with a wooden spoon almost as long as the witch was tall. She was very determinedly not looking in my direction and the stiffness of her bare shoulders told me not to bother approaching her. Not that I wanted to right now but still, the random animosity wasn’t appreciated. Maybe there was something in the stack of ingredients I could turn into a sweet treat that would cool her temper.

I sat on the ground by my hammock and dug my alchemist toolkit from my bum bag, laying it out in front of me. I pulled my miniature cauldron from the cedar box, trying not to compare its size to the one Cassie had. Size didn’t matter, right? Right?

With each piece I pulled from the box and laid out in a poor attempt at order my trepidation grew. My eyes were drawn over and over again from what I was doing to the fire and the witch standing beside it. Her naked body was half illuminated and half shadowed by the licking tongues of flame. Her rosey curls turned frizzy by the dense humidity were piled high in a messy knot atop her head exposing her long and slender neck. She’d boasted less than an hour ago about her success percentage and the grade of potions she could make and yet all she used was a cauldron, a wooden spoon, and a campfire. That didn’t make sense when the quality of my potions was highly dependent on using my tools. Could her level be so high that the tools of our shared craft no longer mattered?

When I’d laid out the final instrument I eyed the mountain of ingredients I had stored away, grateful again that the same plants stacked in my inventory rather than taking up individual space. Boopzy had been almost too enthusiastic with his hunt. I had plentiful plants, bulbs, roots, and even something called an Unctuous Leech to work with. I had no idea what the word ‘unctuous’ meant so instead I focused on the property I could see.

Ingredient

Quantity

Property 1

Property 2

Property 3

Unctuous Leech

1

Enhance Latent Power

?

?

I longed for the day I would be able to see all the available properties at just a glance. Maybe I’d be more eager to create new and exciting things if I could spot compatible ingredients without the need for some sort of recipe. I’d just plucked a bunch of Milkweed and a string of Trumpet Vine from my stash when a thought occurred to me and I filtered through my goods. My frustration grew when my suspicions were confirmed.

I was out of flasks.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

Cursing under my breath I hopped to my feet, being careful not to knock over the semi-neatly arranged tools I’d just laid on the ground. Part of me wanted to quit now just so I didn’t have to have the awkward encounter that was about to happen. Steeling myself against the barrage and with Stella trotting beside me offering emotional support I approached the witch.

I stood behind her, working my mouth as I tried to come up with words that wouldn’t offend her. Before I could the witch stiffened and stopped her stirring, banging the long-handled spoon on the cauldron as she said, “What do you want?”

“Any chance you’ve got some spare flasks lying around?” I asked.

Cassie was silent for a long time. Too long in my opinion. Then, rather than an answer, her shoulders began to shake violently. I took a hasty step back, trying to figure out what I could have done to make the poor woman cry. Then her laughter rang out, breaking the intense tension between us as easily as a warm knife slid through butter. I realized then that I’d been concerned for no reason.

Muttering about the endless jumping of the witch’s emotions I crossed my arms over my chest, tapping my booted foot as I waited for her to settle the hell down. Thankfully, it didn’t take long. She turned to me, the firelight sparkling in her dewy eyes.

“Tutt, tutt. An alchemist running out of flasks is a rookie mistake, my friend.”

“Oh, we’re friends now?” I blurted.

Her smile dropped a little but didn’t disappear entirely. “I’m sorry, perhaps I was a little harsh earlier. Still, your potential is there, and seeing you not try to expand it was incredibly frustrating. I guess being separated from company for so long has been a bit detrimental to my social skills. Not to worry though. I’ll figure it out in no time.”

She rested the spoon atop the cauldron making the thick steam rising off of it waver then turned and pranced toward her cabin. I expected her to disappear within the building but instead, she bypassed the door, pausing just briefly to stroke her fingers through Theo’s hair before she continued on to a large barrel. She dug her hands into it and then rushed back to me.

“Here, you get fifty for free as an apology but if you want more, they’ll cost you. My mates rates, which for the time being you qualify for, is ten flasks for a gold piece. I’ve also got plenty of excess ingredients if you need them, all at reasonable prices.”

I knew my mouth was hanging open because a bug flew in there, making me hack and heave until it was out again. “You’re a merchant?”

Her pale brows dipped. “What? Can’t a girl do more than one thing? I also sell some of my own creations if that interests you.”

I shook like Stella often did, hoping the sudden movement would clear the fog keeping me from having a logical thought. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that she might do more than simply fill out a questline that augmented the main quest. She wasn’t an NPC after all like some of the others I’d met. Well, she was but she wasn’t at the same time. She was like Kendrick and Jitta, not like me or any of the members of my clan. She could interact with the world as it was, but the fate of it didn’t seem to bother her over much.

“Would you take these already, if I don’t mind the Divine Lament Draught it will blacken and then it will be no good for any of you. I’m assuming you’re not interested in hunting down another batch of the same ingredients?”

“Hell no,” I snapped, taking the flasks she was offering. “Thanks.”

I turned around only to cop a solid slap on the ass. I glared at the woman but all she did was laugh as she grabbed her spoon and continued stirring. I knew my ass was fine, especially in this tight leather armor, but still, I was kind of sick of having the poor thing attacked. At least Cassie’s version was far more pleasant than Sob’s.

My flasks went into my inventory where they settled in the crafting screen, ready for me to begin brewing. I could focus on preparing potions I already knew but that felt boring, a feeling I was desperate to avoid else I’d rather return to my hammock for a nap.

I picked up the Milkweed and Trumpet Vine again, setting about altering them into a purer form to bring out the properties they seemed to share. On a whim, right before I combined them, I ground up the Unctuous Leech and added it to my concoction.

New Item Received: Simple Axe Balm of Cleaving

Description: An oily blend designed to be rubbed over the curved blade of an axe. Enhances latent effects for the duration of one hundred strikes.

The golden words slowly faded as I drew my newest creation out of my bum bag, clenching my jaw to keep it from hitting the ground.

Every potion I’d made before had been an iridescent liquid in a rainbow of colors but this was different. It was dense, clinging to the glass of the flask until I gave it a solid strike. I was careful not to spill any of it. This was too good to waste.

I knew I could create things that affected weaponry, that was what all my poisons did after all, I just hadn’t known there was another version of enhancements. I once joked that Gabby should buy Nora some axe balm as a gift but as far as I’d known it hadn’t been an actual option back then. I’d never seen something like this in Red’s inventory or even in the Master Smith’s. That either meant they were rare and worth a hefty chunk of gold, or I was incredibly unobservant and they were a dime a dozen. Honestly, it could go either way. If this new world had taught me anything about myself it was that I was a very fallible human being.

Happy with my discovery I plucked Boopzy from my pocket. The Tentarat unfolded from his squashed frisby-like shape, letting his many tentacles dangle over the side of my hand. They wiggled there, sometimes sticking to my skin as a sucker grabbed hold only to drop again.

“I need you to collect as many of those leeches as you can carry, do you understand me?” I asked.

Boopzy chittered and rose up, his nose twitching as the excitement got the better of him and he began to tremble. I watched his whiskers shake for a moment before gently dropping him to the ground.

Screee!

The Tentarat bolted for the dense, damp shrubbery pausing just long enough to collect his beloved basket before he disappeared into the depths of Cassie’s swamp. I had no way to prove it but I strongly suspected that it was the Unctuous Leech that had turned my creation into what it was. I’d have to remember to try the ingredients without it to see if it made a difference. Not right this second though, I didn’t want to waste the Milkweed and Trumpet Vine if instead, I could make a buttload of balm.

Turning back to my crafting I selected a different pair of ingredients to play with. I combined two Swamp Lillies with a piece of Water Lettuce. The combination fizzed in my cauldron as the liquid seeped from the lettuce, combining with the Swamp Lillies to form a deep chocolatey brown mixture.

Looking for the New Item notification to flash up I missed the warning. Even my Agility couldn’t save my eyebrows.

Boom!