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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 88 – Towering Tyrant

Chapter 88 – Towering Tyrant

My health dropped hard after the single bolt. Already I could hear the Daughter of Umbra reloading her strange wrist-fastened crossbow. Is it weird that even as I rolled and bolted for cover all I could think about was how much I wanted one of those crossbows? Maybe two, then I could give one to Gabby when I saw her next.

The next bolt shattered against the thick black marble column I ducked behind. I sucked in a breath as I heard the woman’s footsteps racing toward me. I fished a poison flask from my pouch Just as the woman appeared, her crossbow aimed right at my chest. I threw the flask, watching it shatter over her face as I dropped to the ground and rolled away. Her next bolt flew wildly as she screamed and stumbled back, glass sharded cutting deep into the soft flesh of her face.

The poison was not effective when tossed like that. It really needed to get into the bloodstream to work. It bought me time though, and that’s all I needed. I jumped to my feet and rushed her, shoving my shortsword up through her soft palate.

Critical hit!

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open as the hard steel scrambled her brain. My stomach roiled as I watched the light in her eyes go out. I yanked my sword free as she dropped like a sack of potatoes, sprawling on the ground with her health bar completely depleted.

Swallowing back my disgust at the brutal move I crouched and looted her goods. The crossbow was first and her string of soft leather pouches next. My inventory space was growing to astounding levels. I was grateful the inventory system didn’t focus on weight, only space. I could carry a goddamned armored tank with me so long as I had the available slots for it.

New Item Received: Crossbow of Umbra

Description: A gift from the Goddess of Twilight and the Hunt. The crossbow has a fast reload time and improved accuracy over generic crossbows. Only fully-fledged members of Umbra’s Sect are gifted this item.

Attack Power: 302

New Item Received: Utility Belt of Many Pockets

Description: It’s a belt. With many pockets.

Effect: 25 extra inventory spots.

New Item Received: Barbed Bolt x 50

Description: Bolts with a barbed head. If the initial impact doesn’t kill your foe, the removal of the bolt, and the vitals it brings with it, surely will.

Attack power: 191

New Item Received: Obsidian Dagger

Description: A delicately crafted blade of obsidian glass. Strong, sharp, and deadly.

Effects: 1 available upgrade slot.

Attack power: 125

It might be a little sad but the belt was the item I was most excited by. Even the magical backpack I’d gotten off Red had only given me ten spots. That was a very long time ago and it just wasn’t enough now. This belt changed things though. I wouldn’t have to pick and choose as much the same way Nora didn’t.

I looked back at the corpse of the Daughter of Umbra. It was disturbing that the bodies of players didn’t disintegrate into a pile of bones after a solid looting like the bodies of monsters did. It would have been easier on my pained soul if they did. This way there was evidence of my foul murderous deeds. Sure, unless someone had witnessed the attack, they’d never know it was me. I knew though, and that was bad enough.

I steeled myself and walked to the wide curved staircase that led up to the higher floors. I could still hear the sounds of fighting and death from up there. My instincts told me to run and hide; to go secure myself back in the safe little hidey-hole in the basement until the ticking clock ran out. There were times when listening to that little voice in the back of your head was the smartest and safest thing you could do. Now was not one of those times.

No, now was the time for action. I didn’t care if I somehow became the Chosen One. I didn’t even care much if I don’t make it past the first floor. I just wanted to go out on my own terms instead of hiding like the timid mouse I sometimes was.

If I got back to my world then I would win. If I didn’t, then at least I would die trying. There was some glory in that even if it didn’t mean much to a dead man. Maybe if I died in battle the gates of Valhalla would open for me. That was kind of a cool thought. Completely illogical of course, but cool.

I stepped off the stairwell and followed the tight hallway to an enormous iron-banded wooden door with carvings on it of a giant snake-like monster. In the game world, this would be a warning of what was on the other side but in this realm, I wasn't sure that logic held true.

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I paused to strap the crossbow to my right wrist. I wasn’t the most comfortable with ranged weapons but the sheer amount of attack power it had made it vital. Even my favorite blade, the silver short sword of thieving, only had an attack power of one hundred and forty-seven.

The crossbow latched tightly I took out the obsidian dagger I’d taken from the fallen Daughter of Umbra and gripped it tightly in my hand. It didn’t feel as good to me as the shortsword of thieving even if the attack power of it was relatively close. It didn’t have enough weight to it. Still, even with the difference between my blades, it felt better to have two. I might not have chosen Dual-wielder as my specialty skill but it was still something I preferred to do. It made my backstabs just that little bit more potent.

I slathered all of the weapons with poison before gingerly opening the door and slipping inside the large chamber on the other side. I was thankful the door didn’t squeak. It seemed like the kind of door that would do that.

I stayed close to the wall before hunkering down behind a heavy red curtain like a little kid playing hide and seek. From my pretend safe spot I surveyed the room like the good scout boy I was. The floor was littered with torn and shredded corpses of my fellow players. The light stone beneath them was painted red with what should have remained on the inside. Overhead was an enormous golden chandelier with crystal teardrop-shaped decorations hanging off of it. The thing let off light in a color no one would have expected. Purple. Big shocker that one.

I swallowed and looked for the monster capable of massacring so many people but no matter which direction I looked, there was nothing there.

Opposite the doorway I’d walked through was another staircase leading up to a higher floor. Between the two was an outrageously large ornate mirror. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the thing was important in some way. Probably a magical gateway for the monster to come and go. That would fit the magical bullshit that was happening all around me. Hell, if anything, a mirror made more sense than portals in toilets.

I eyed the distance between myself and the other set of stairs. It didn’t seem that far away. I flexed my fingers. The Rift power was great for jumping about but unlike my Shadow Rush skill, it didn’t allow me to dictate where I was thrown out. I could open a rift and end up back outside somewhere amongst the dog monsters. For some reason being torn to shreds by rabid werewolf-like beasts didn’t appeal to me.

I tapped on my forehead and whispered, “you phantoms got any ideas?”

You’re totally fucked.

“Not helpful,” I growled.

Now was not the time for the phantom voices to turn into a bunch of dicks. I slipped from my hiding place and ran to the next set of curtains. The glass of the window was as cold as ice. The purple landscape outside was dull and hard to make out. Ignoring whatever was on the outside, I slipped through the curtains to the other side. Carefully searching the room again for the absentee monster.

Maybe killing so many people had been enough for it. Or, more likely, the other players had killed it and all this sneaking was unnecessary. That kind of made sense I suppose although in the game world normally the big bosses just respawned like Vincent Voss. Granted, that probably wasn't his name for whoever else faced him, but he would always be that to me.

Only ten meters from the exit I decided to run for it. I could cross that distance in seconds. I gritted my teeth and shot forward. The threshold was only a few finger widths away when the ground shook and a fleshy green wall slammed down in front of me.

I smacked into the giant thing and bounced back, the air knocked out of me for what had to be the hundredth time in less than a year. I wheezed on the ground as I forced my suddenly heavy body to move. A thick beefy hand wrapped around me and lifted me into the air. I tried to struggle but every move I made only made the monster tighten its grip until I was sure one more squeeze would see me bursting like an overripe tomato.

I blinked away the painful fog clouding my vison as the phantom voices in my head screamed for me to run like that was an option when my feet were dangling ten feet in the air.

The carving on the door had not been a good likeness of this beast. It was tall and an odd blend of muscular and flabby. It wore brown shredded trousers and nothing else. Its wide green chest was tattooed with odd geometric shapes. Its head was awkwardly spherical and it sported pointed ears like you’d see on an elf, both with at least ten golden rings climbing up the curve of it.

“Thought you could sneak by me, did you?” It asked in a gravelly voice.

“Worth… try…” I managed through desperate gasps that were not letting in enough air.

The beast blinked its singular eye at me as it lifted me closer to its face. “Where is the rest of your hair, little bandit?”

My fear took a back seat behind the sudden wave of rage that filled me. The Cyclops, which was the best way to describe this thing, had a thick mass of black hair dangling about its shoulders. Some of the tresses were braided and had bones threaded through the knots. I had a lot of hair now too but it was very much confined to the sides of my head. What right did this dick have to judge me, fucking ugly asshole that he was?

“Let me go,” I snapped.

The Cyclops laughed so hard its belly shook. “Nah, don’t think I will little runt. You look like a tasty treat.”

The beast opened its giant mouth letting out a cloud of the foulest breath you can imagine; like rotten eggs and off fish mixed together. I yanked my arm around and fired.

The beast howled and dropped me as it clutched at the shredded remains of its eye. Its name flashed above its head as I tumbled ass over head through the air toward the hard stone floor.

Towering Tyrant