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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 163 – Little Dove

Chapter 163 – Little Dove

It was only when Gabby found me in the room on the second floor that I allowed Stella to escape my clutches. The enlarged cattle dog was a force to be reckoned with when it came to outright battle but being trapped inside during what was essentially an earthquake was a different story. And yet, out of all of us, including Frank, Stella had faired the best. Hell, by the looks of it, she had happily slept through the whole damn thing.

Getting the big dog down the stairs is when the difficult part arose. She couldn’t bend awkwardly and wiggle past the fallen column like Gabby and I could. This was the downside to her growing each time she gained a certain amount of levels. I didn’t know too much about that seeing as I couldn’t look at the dog's character menu but the growth seemed to be heavily level-related.

I wished I could see more but I had been negligent in focusing on my own level growth of late. I’d been ignoring quests and doing my own thing. It meant that I had stagnated, only picking up the smallest drips and drabs of experience points when I stumbled into something unexpected. Once I had our safe house up and running, that would change.

Thinking of the safe house made the tightness return to my chest. I’d been trying not to freak out about Nora’s extended absence for days now but it was beginning to get ridiculous. Was there even a point to a safe house if Gabby, Frank, Stella, and I were the only ones left of our clan? True it was only three other members shy of what we had had but it still felt pointless without Nora, Sob, and Boopzy.

“Okay, this isn’t working,” Gabby said as she stumbled back, heaving for breath and wiping sweat from her forehead.

Stella wiggled from my grip, her bulk making me stumble back up a few stairs. The dog whined and pawed at the column. I swore and scrubbed my hand over the stubble atop my head. I thought about hitting the thing with my sword but it sure as hell wasn’t an axe and would likely do nothing against such a sturdy hunk of wood. I wondered if my nature affinity would do much in this situation. Did structural lumber still count as ‘nature’? It was wood, surely that counted for something.

“Got any other ideas?” I asked Gabby through the gap.

“We need that gnome, Nigel. He could shrink her down the way he did Sob,” Gabby said.

I swallowed, uncomfortable that she’d mentioned the gnome. I didn’t think she could know he was holed up in the building next door but it seemed awfully coincidental that she’d bring him up now. She was a thief just like me. Maybe she hadn’t been sleeping like I had thought she was.

“Yeah,” I said, unsure if I should tell her the truth or not. “That would be handy right about now.”

“Maybe we can…”

Before Gabby could finish her train of thought, Stella’s paws began to glow a brilliant golden color quickly followed by the rest of her body. With a powerful lurch forward the wooden column shattered into thousands of splinters leaving Stella standing in the wreckage as the glow faded and her tail whipped from side to side in a blur of movement.

“Or we could just do that,” Gabby said.

I stepped through the now-open doorway, carefully eyeing the ceiling above me in case the lack of column led to a cave-in.

“You couldn’t have done that right from the beginning?” I asked Stella.

Stella barked and wagged her tail harder. The flapping of wings and a high-pitched screech signaled Frank’s return from his skyward escape. He dove through the open doorway and circled the room before dropping down into his customary place on my shoulder. I reached up, absentmindedly scratching the raven's feathered chest.

My eyes were focused on Roska and Affald. The pair of goblins were walking around the room, taking note of the damage and writing something down on a piece of paper. It was not the reaction I would have expected. When we’d first walked in they had been picking stuff up off the floor.

“Is there anything we can do to help you repair this place?” I asked, rubble crunching under my boot as I stepped forward.

Affald looked up with a smile on his green face. “No, no, don’t you worry one bit. This is exactly why Phlegm took out insurance. That man knows how to play the system. We just have to note the damage and send the repair list to the Ogres on Jur-Ukryptu.”

Roska’s face turned a darker shade of green as her long-nailed hand whipped out and smacked Affald across the face. The sound of the strike had all of us stiffening, our hands reaching for our weapons though we didn’t use them.

“Affald,” Roska bellowed. “Keep your tusks fastened or you’ll see us both pulled before the Guardians. I do not want to end up like Sguda.”

Affald snapped his hands together and bowed deep to Roska, his long pointed ears twitching from side to side like a bat’s might. “You’re right. The big shake must have rattled my brains.”

Roska’s face softened and she stepped in close to Affald, pressing a hand to his chest. “Nevermind. Be more careful though. We are not the players here.”

Gabby and I exchanged a glance, sure that both Roska and Affald hadn’t intended to share so much information with us. Sure, it might not have made perfect sense but it was information nonetheless. I tried to look unassuming as I dipped my fingers into my bum bag and drew out my little notebook. I flipped right to the back of it, using the charcoal stick to jot down everything they’d just said to us.

The task done I sidled past Gabby, leaning in close to her ear and whispering, “Ask Roska about the quake. She knows what happened. She’s more likely to tell you.”

Gabby glanced my way, lifting an incredulous brow. She didn’t question me though and instead, waltzed up to Roska and asked to speak with her privately. I had to admit, I was impressed. If it had been me asking I would have just blurted it out right here in front of everyone.

While Gabby handled that I walked out on the broken inn and eyed the building next door. It seemed like the earthquake hadn’t done too much damage to it but the cobbled street between here and there was almost completely turned to rubble. It might have been my imagination but I could still see the dullest of purple glows where the fire had escaped from down below the surface of the earth. As I stepped over the debris I kicked aside the loose chunks of stone sending them skittering across the destroyed court I stood in.

Stella followed me as I walked to the drainage pipe and gripped it in my hands. I hated the idea of leaving her down here alone again but she was too big for me to carry up alone.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

“Stay here, girl. If something dangerous comes run back to Gabby.”

Stella barked and I took that as her understanding me as I scaled the building and slipped in through the window on the second floor.

“Nigel?” I called.

In answer to my call, a loud snore sounded from the room next door. I rubbed a hand over my hair as I walked there, stifling the enormous yawn that threatened to dislocate my jaw. Now that the excitement had died down the exhaustion was creeping back up again. I was getting too old for all this drama.

I pushed open the door to what must have been a bedroom and walked in, spying Nigel curled up on a pile of old torn clothes in the corner. He looked whole which was good enough for me even if I was jealous that he was asleep right now. Apparently, the world breaking apart meant nothing to a Hortus Gnome.

I contemplated waking him and trying to get an explanation for the unusual happenings from him but a loud bellow from down below had me turning back to the window. I leaned on the windowsill but stumbled back when Gabby swooped from outside on pumping wings.

“Careful,” I muttered.

“Sorry. You were wrong, Roska really didn’t want to tell me anything. I know it has to do with Melumek, that’s about all I could get out of her. And that’s with my high-level Charisma. The woman is harder to get information from than Nora.”

I snorted. “That’s saying something right there. We’ll have to find out what it was some other way.”

Gabby folded her wings tight against her back and wrapped her arms around her torso. “Something bad is happening Joe. The number of players is really starting to dwindle. It feels like we’ve not gotten anywhere though. Where is the progress? I feel like none of us are doing this thing right.”

I tried for a smile but it might have come out as something more akin to a grimace. “Yeah. I think it might be time to abandon this safe house idea for now and go see the Witch of Evermore.”

Gabby’s eyebrows dropped over her pale eyes as her forehead creased. “Are you serious? You made us fill that damn room full of mirrors and now you’re ready to give up? Do you ever see anything through to the end?”

“Hey,” I snapped right back, refusing to acknowledge the truth in her words. “I’m just trying to survive this shithole. Is it my fault the damn Primordials or whatever they want to call themselves keep changing the game?”

“And now you want to go visit a witch? How will that help us? Is it some kind of quest? And, more importantly, what the hell was the point of the mirrors?”

I held up my hands, palms facing Gabby to ward off her questions. “The Witch of Evermore. She promised she could make a potion that could help us end this Croc Invasion. Didn’t you get that quest?”

“Wait a second,” Gabby said before her face went blank and her eyes stared off into space. I waited impatiently for her to finish checking what I assumed was her character menu. My foot began to tap a beat on the wooden floor before she blinked and shook her head. “No, I don’t have any quests like that.”

“Why the hell did that take you so long? How many open quests do you have?” I snapped.

Gabby tilted her head a little like Stella did when I asked her a question. “Only about twenty. I haven’t really had a chance to whittle them down.”

My eyes bulged and my jaw dropped as I stared at her. Did she say twenty? What the hell? Without having to focus too hard I used my Identify skill, not much caring if she knew exactly what I was doing.

Gabrielle Thundershield – Level 40 Daughter of Umbra

She’d only risen one level since the last time I’d checked. At least, I thought so. It was hard to keep track of levels sometimes.

Gabby shifted uncomfortably under my stunned stare. “What, how many do you have?”

I quickly opened my quest menu and glanced over the list I had there, only skimming the descriptions as I counted the number.

Dead Drop

Nigel, in a roundabout kind of way, has revealed the location of the desirable Tony the cable snake man. He is grabbing a frosty one at the Ettamogah Pub, near Table Top Mountain.

The Witch of Evermore

The witch is brewing a powerful potion, one that’s sure to knock the beastly Crocs on their ass. Collect the following items to get a taste of the sweet, sweet elixir. 10/1 Vampire Bat Wing. 2/1 Gall bladder of a King Toilet Croc. 2/1 Venom of the Nightstalker Rattler. Happy hunting

The Candlestick in the Ballroom

An unholy silence has taken over Old Man Wellington’s manor house. The man was a nut but a long-time collector of all things cryptic. Pay him a visit, and find out what happened.

Bushranger’s Helmet Cap

The Shadow Walkers need you to find an old dusty helmet. The last known reports place it in Glenrowan.

Underworld Collection

The Vanick Brothers have broken their agreement with the Shadow Walkers. We allowed them to run their gambling den in the sewers without Shadow Walker interference so long as they paid their bill. Guess what they didn’t do? Your task is to talk your way into the den and run their coffers dry with your skills. Deposit all winnings into the chest located by your guild contact to receive your reward.

Brother Lost

A guildmate has gone missing on an important mission to the Barrington Mine. Your task is to complete the one he couldn’t; retrieve the Lady Geraldine’s Pewter Flagon of Happiness. Once retrieved place the trinket in the chest located by your guild contact to receive your reward. A bonus will be given if you discover what happened to your guildmate.

I closed the menu and said, “ I only have six.”

“Six?” she almost screamed. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Is that bad?”

Gabby let out a hard breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Joe, I know I haven’t completed a lot of mine yet, but at least I have them. You need to be exploring more. How are you going to level up if you don’t complete quests?”

I quickly checked my level and said, “I’m only a few levels below you.”

She dug her fists into her hips as she glared at me. “I know that. I can see the number whenever I look at you. I just can’t believe you made it there with so few quests in your log.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. For all you know, I had just as many but I completed mine.”

“Would the pair of you shut up!”

I flinched at Nigel’s bellow and turned to face him, not missing the way all the color drained from Gabby’s face as she stared at the little gnome standing angrily in the doorway.

“I’m trying to sleep, is that so hard for you to understand?” the gnome growled, baring his teeth to emphasize his point.

“N…Nigel?” Gabby stuttered. “Is that really you?”

Nigel’s angry face turned into a smile as he posed like a model might, running a hand over his rump. “In the flesh. Did you miss me, Little Dove?”

Gabby aimed her crossbow at the gnome, her face turning into a dark shadow of the woman I knew. “Call me that again and I’ll skewer you through the heart. Don’t tempt me gnome, my Goddess looks favorably on hunting magical beasts.”

Cautiously I backed up against the wall as Nigel’s mirth disappeared. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the barbed tip of her bolt or the wave of rage I could feel surging off of her.

Gabby always seemed so gentle compared to Nora but the longer I spent with her the more I realized she was just as dangerous. Remind me never to piss off Gabby.