“Shut the hell up!”
Sometimes, not often, but sometimes Frank knew just what to say and when to say it. This was one of those times.
My feelings were scrambled at this moment, flying in all directions with a speed that would have been impressive if it weren’t just making me dizzy. I’d refused the plush cushion Cassie had thrown my way in preference for leaning against a solid patch of wall opposite the roaring hearth. It gave me the perfect position to monitor the room and everyone crammed into it. I could even see Sob standing right outside, his neon blue flames reflecting in the panel of glass as he tried to stare through the thing.
My hand itched to scrub at my head between the threads that were now plenty long enough to cut but I kept it where it was, folded around my other arm, and pressed hard into my chest. Aside from Frank’s outburst, the room was silent, all of us staring at the witch as we waited for her to explain. I might have been the only one who didn’t want her to keep talking. I’d heard enough from Kendrick and Jitta and maybe even the Toilet Master; although pretty much everything that guy said was just the rambling of a crazy old man.
I didn’t want to understand the inner workings of this new world. I didn’t want to find the big bad guy and risk life and limb to take him down. I wasn’t a superhero. I wasn’t even a warrior. All I wanted to do was to get me and mine to somewhere safe. Whether that was by magically reopening one of the Transfer Zones, or by simply finishing our safe house, I didn’t know and somehow, I didn’t think that was the information Cassie wanted to share with us.
“Tell me, what do you expect my potion to do?” Cassie asked, her eyes flicking toward Nora.
“The quest description says you’ll brew something that will ‘knock the beastly Crocs on their ass’. So maybe it’s some kind of poison?” The warrior woman responded.
Cassie stared at her for a moment with her ruby-red lips parted only slightly. The silence was an uncomfortable one, making me squirm a little from my place on the far wall. I would have answered much the same way but Cassie’s reaction told me that the assumption was wrong.
Laughter that started as little more than the chiming of bells turned into something more guttural. Spilling out of the witch and filling the small room we were all seated in. Gabby leaned back in her chair almost crushing her wings against the mismatched wooden railings, her pale brows dropping over her eyes creating a cluster of wrinkles between the pair almost as impressive as Nora’s. Frank squawked unhappily and beat his wings, flapping up to the perch he favored near the ceiling. Theo, sitting cross-legged on a large cushion decorated in tiny florals stared at the witch in wonder, the edges of his lips lifted. My fingers tapped out a hard beat against my armored forearm as I glared at the woman. Still struggling to breathe between the waves of laughter overcoming her, Cassie placed a hand under her bulging chest as if to support the tensing muscles there.
In my opinion, her laughter was an unfair reaction to a simple answer. Nora’s guess had been reasonable given the information we had and yet the witch reacted as if we’d just asked her to snap her fingers and have the Toilet Crocs sent back to where they came from.
I ground my teeth when the laughter didn’t stop and snapped over the noise of it, “Would you calm your tits and tell us what it does now?”
Rude, I know. Deserved though, don’t you think?
Cassie’s eyes twinkled with unshed tears but they were not the unhappy kind. I watched as she struggled to still the laughter and pull herself back into some semblance of order. As much as a naked witch living alone in the middle of a magically created swamp placed awkwardly in the outback could anyway.
“Sorry, sorry,” She managed between desperate breaths. “It’s just that, if it were so simple to be rid of these beasties, well, let’s just say there would be a lot less trouble haunting my every waking hour.
Now, back to the matter at hand. My potion is complicated and nuanced. It will take me at least three days to brew and that is if the ingredients you’ve brought me are pure and not tainted in some way. Also, the is a caveat I don’t think you’ll like, especially you Joe.”
I stiffened the moment she said my name (not in a good way), eyeing her like she was a rattler about to strike. “What do you mean ‘especially you’?”
“No animal, no matter how intelligent or powerful can feel the effects of the potion. When you and your friends use it, you will have to leave Stella, Sob, Frank, and the little Tentarat hiding in Nora’s pocket here.”
“His name is Boopzy,” I said but the words were soft and weak.
Leaving half our party here would be a painful blow. We’d lose a tank, a healer, a useful tool, and a screaming idiot. That was a lot to lose.
It was Gabby who spoke up next, the words spilling from her mouth before she had had a chance to organize her thoughts. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Animals should… no, I mean. We’re all animals. People and dogs and horses. How can it affect us and not them?”
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“It is a cruel joke played by the Guardians but unfortunately I must obey at least some of their rules. They would not allow me access to their worlds otherwise and I would very much dislike that. To them, humans, or at least the dominant species of a planet when they take a world, are separate from the nondominant species present. Do you understand?” Cassie responded, tossing another bundle of twigs into the flames behind her.
“No, I don’t,” Gabby muttered as she fiddled with the crossbow strapped around her wrist rather than looking the witch in the eye.
I broke the short silence that followed and asked, “How long will they have to stay here?”
“For as long as the effects created by the potion are active. They will not be able to follow you.”
Nora growled and pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, while we’re off galavanting around the country using the power of this marvelous potion to kill off the Croc invasion, all our animal companions will have to stay behind? What is even the point?”
A sour taste filled my mouth as my eyes lingered on one of the many mirrors scattered between the jungle of potted and hanging plants Cassie stuffed her home full of.
“No, it won’t be like that,” I said. “She’s going to send us away from here. What will it be, witch? Another realm? A dungeon? Maybe you’ll shoot us back to the other side of the country and lock us in a sewer?”
The Witch of Evermore’s grin broadened as her sharp eyes snapped back to me. “Aren’t we astute? Your second guess is the closest. A dungeon of some sort. I’m not positive on the specifics of it mind you. My potion will give you access, but it is an ever-changing place. One I cannot prepare you for so you must be ready to face it all on the other side. Do not take this lightly. Once you cross over that threshold there is no coming back until you have completed your task.” The witch turned away from us rubbing at her arms as if she were suddenly cold before she added in a whisper, “Or die trying.”
“You can’t be serious,” Nora bellowed standing so quickly her chair toppled over with a resounding bang.
Cassie eyed the warrior woman with something remarkably close to wariness before she said, “Don’t worry. It is a potion. One that I’ll give you in a fancy glass bottle free of charge. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you have to use it immediately. Just remember, your animals can’t follow so if you do not use it here, make sure you are somewhere safe enough for them.”
Gabby glanced my way, making sure I was looking back before flicking her eyes toward her father and back to me. Her eyes were unblinking and her entire body tense, like she was trying to will me into developing telepathic skills. I lifted a singular brow, eyeing the once great Champion sitting merrily on his brightly colored cushion. Sometimes I wondered if the Theo I remembered was still in there somewhere. The one I disliked to his very core. This Theo was different. He was almost fragile. It made me want to protect him despite the memories of what he’d done. I understood what Gabby was trying to tell me; if we were to be whisked off to another place then Theo couldn’t come with us. He would have to stay wherever we chose to leave the animals of our tiny clan. There was no rhyme or reason to bring him with us when it would just be putting the man in danger. Not that he was an animal mind you, it’s just that he’d seemed to have lost his fighting ability along with the strategic intelligence he’d had before.
I looked back at Gabby and gave her a hard nod. It was the best I could do. It seemed to placate her. She offered a half smile and turned away from me, her squashed wings trembling behind her.
“Shall I start brewing?” the Witch of Evermore asked.
Nora grumbled and stomped around in a tight circle constrained as she was by Cassie’s indoor jungle before she said with all the authority of a mighty General, “Brew away.”
Cassie clapped her hands together and made a happy purring noise like a content cat. “Follow me then, all of you.”
As a group, we filtered out of the building getting stuck at the small doorway as we all tried to squeeze through at once. By the time I made it out there, it was to find Cassie scolding Sob. The horse was standing over the bubbling cauldron, lime green goop dripping from his chin. The stallion had his ears folded flat against his head and stood with his enormous barrel chest puffed out. The horse's attempt to intimidate the witch into letting him guzzle her latest brew did not work the way he wanted, all he got was a sparking teal finger shaken in his face.
“Do it again, and you’ll taste my magic, mister. I know you can feel it. You know what I can do. Do not tempt me.”
I sighed and scrubbed at my bald patch not bothering to get involved. The damn beast was going to cost me a fortune in gold.
Cassie turned to us and spread her arms wide. “So, how much of this brew am I making? Lay out your ingredients.”
I dug my hand into my bum bag and pulled out the ten Vampire Bat Wings, the two King Toilet Croc Gall bladders, and the two vials of Nightstalker Rattler Venom I had stashed in my inventory. I added them to the much smaller pile Nora had placed on the ground, trying unsuccessfully to keep the different types separate.
Cassie stepped forward and inspected the stash, using first her painted toes and then her hands to inspect each and every one.
“Alright, you technically have enough to make four potions but two of the ingredients are of a much poorer quality than the rest and could contaminate the entire batch. There are a few things I can do to negate it of course but it is not guaranteed that the result will be the ideal quality. I can make two separate batches of course but that will mean six days of waiting, rather than three.”
“We only need three potions,” I said.
“No, wait,” Nora said, her head snapping up and sweeping over our group. “We need…”
Gabby reached out, grabbed ahold of the warrior woman’s arm, and shook her head. The tenseness that had filled Nora the moment I had spoken eased somewhat. Her armor made small grating sounds as softness returned to her muscles forcing the heavy plate to shift on her frame as she repositioned.
“Three it is,” Nora said though she in no way sounded happy about it.
Cassie beamed and started collecting the ingredients she wanted. The quest updated notification flashed up again, letting me know what I could see with my own eyes. The Witch of Evermore was brewing us the potion she’d promised so long ago and now we had three days to waste while she did it.