Do you have any idea how hard it is to yank a flapping bird the size of a cat off your face when its talons are deep in your skin and lightning is firing up your ass? Not easy, believe me.

The moment I managed to throw the damn bird off and step away from Sob’s poor excuse for a greeting a web of wet tentacles slapped around my face. I gasped and almost sucked a tentacle into my throat. The feeling of it was enough to make me heave. The remains of my Sizzling Lizard lunch burned painfully as it came flying upward.

Screee!

Boopzy flung himself off my face before I could paint him with semi-digested lizard, swinging himself over to my shoulder where he chided me for my rudeness. I tried to squeeze out the semblance of an apology but the words wouldn’t come out.

Floating golden words danced in front of my face, tormenting me despite their message.

Skill Upgraded: Magic Resistance (II)

Clearly, you have not improved in your ability to avoid being hit with magic. That is something you should probably work on before it kills you. No seriously, being hit by magic is bad, avoiding magic is good. Do you understand?

Effects: Passive. Magic spells are now 5% less effective

I rose to my full height and glared at Sob as I rubbed the still-tender spot on my rear end before demanding, “Wasn’t there a nicer way for you to say ‘hello’?”

The horse nickered before puffing out his chest and trotting away toward the Red Fox Inn, he didn’t stop for Affald but instead marched straight past the beaming goblin toward the stable.

Frank landed heavily on my other shoulder, preening his glossy black feathers like he hadn’t just shredded the tender flesh of my face moments before. Boopzy reached up, sliding a tentacle over my cheek in a very uncomfortable manner. I tickled the Tentarat’s little fuzzy chest as I stared at the building Gabby and I had claimed as our own. There was a tightness in my chest making it difficult to draw in a full breath and it wasn’t because Sob’s zaps had made all my muscles tense up.

The court I stood in was painfully silent. No breeze reached me over the buildings, some standing and some little more than crumbled ruins. Affald, disappointed that Sob hadn’t wanted a bar of him, tossed me a wave before disappearing into the inn. No one else was present. Not Gabby, and not Nora.

Sob and Boopzy were here though. Surely they couldn’t have made it here from across the country without Nora. They just couldn’t have.

I hesitated, not sure if I should head for the inn or the building beside it. Where would they be?

The building had been barely touched when I’d left but it looked very different now. The poor excuse for barricades that I’d constructed before hightailing it to the middle of nowhere to battle Pete the Poltergeist had been torn apart and remade. Now they looked solid and formed a perfect ring around the entirety of the building, not just where there were windows or doors.

I rubbed at the threads of hair surrounding my bald patch, not sure if I should be relieved or offended. Sure, I wasn’t exactly a tradesman but I’d like to think myself handy. This just made me realize that I did a better job mustering cattle than I did building anything. A bridge, just as finely crafted as the new barricades extended from the roof of the Red Fox Inn to one of the upper windows. The bottom edge of the bridge didn’t actually touch the inn but it balanced closely to it, a mere step higher than the roof. I was surprised Roska and Affald had even allowed that much. Gabby must have paid a high price to make it happen. Somehow I didn’t think Phlegm or Taki would approve.

I stood under the entry to the inn, my hand shaking over the handle that would see the door swing open. Boopzy slapped me and reached for the handle himself, frustrated with how long I was taking. The door swung wide and the silence of the court was destroyed by the uproarious clamour blasting from inside. The force of it was nearly enough to see me stumbling backward.

A powerful hand reached out and dug into my leather armor, yanking me into the warmth of the inn's common room. Muscular arms folded around me, crushing me and forcing the scant amount of air from my lungs.

“Alright… Nora… Let go…” I managed between desperate gasps.

She did, a giant smile on her face and her eyes swimming with unshed tears. The anger that had been brewing inside me since the moment she’d run off in Perth dissipated. The damn woman found the chink in my armor without even trying.

I muttered a string of angry words under my breath before Blinking forward and giving her the same kind of hug she’d given me. It didn’t quite have the same impact given she was wearing heavy steel armor but it got the point across.

“Don’t you ever run off like that again,” I snapped in her ear.

“You can thank me later,” she said, gently pushing me away and stepping back with her arms flung wide. “Say hello to your new army.”

I lifted a brow at her before lifting my chin, eyeing the crush of people crowding the room. They were all whispering and muttering behind their hands, some of them with wide grins on their faces and others wearing scowls that made me want to slap them silly. I recognized one or two from my short time with the Outsiders but others were a complete mystery.

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Nora slapped her hand against my back and said to the crowd, “This is Joe, everyone, and the next round is on him!”

That got a rise out of everyone, grins and glares alike. Schooners were lifted high and a chorus of cheers pounded my ears. Affald and Roska were already filling every glass and mug they possessed and I knew the damn round was going to cost me a small fortune.

Gabby didn’t arrive until after I’d handed over a nice chunk of my hard-won gold. She hugged me like Nora had but it was swifter and not nearly as painful. Seeing her brought the lump back into my throat. There was something I needed from her. Something that would either go very well or horribly. There was no in-between.

“What’s with the sad face?” Gabby asked, her smile fading just a little. “Didn’t your quest go well?”

“Oh no, it was fine, ahh, but there is something I need…”

“What are you two whispering about?” Nora demanded stepping up beside us. “I’m gone for a couple of weeks and already I’m being left out of the loop.”

Boopzy squealed on my shoulder and reached out a bunch of tentacles for Nora. The woman reached out without making eye contact with the creature and gently tugged him over to her, placing him atop her head where he dug deep into her chestnut curls.

Gabby’s eyes flicked to me, twinkling with barely contained laughter. I swallowed back my own, determined not to say a word just yet. If Nora had forgotten that her month was well and truly up by now then who was I to remind her?

I cleared my throat and said, “I know I just got back, but there’s something Gabby and I need to do before I meet my so-called ‘army’.”

“Is it a secret?” Gabby asked me.

“Well, no. I guess not.”

“Then why can’t Nora know about it?”

I sighed and rubbed at my aching eyes. “Come on, both of you.”

I turned and grabbed a still frothy schooner from the bar, downing it as quickly as was humanly possible before dropping the glass back down. I wiped away the fine mustache of froth and stomped from the common room, trying not to look like an asshole but also too awkward to meet the eyes of the gathered crowd of strangers. I never did do well in crowds unless it was made up of loud and smelly cattle.

Nora and Gabby followed me into the calm of the court outside the inn, neither of them asking questions but both stiff and ready for danger. That was probably a good thing considering I was about to take them all the way through the town and out into the dusty outback beyond. Stella followed me as she always did, trotting along between the women with her tongue flopping out and her head held high like she was proud of something I didn’t know about.

“Do we need Sob?” Nora asked, absently brushing away a tentacle that was tickling her forehead.

“Yeah, it’s probably a good idea. We might need his healing magic.”

“I’ll go get him,” Nora said before disappearing around the side of the building.

“Joe, what is all this about?” Gabby asked me the moment the other woman was out of earshot. “Is something wrong?”

I rubbed at my head aggressively enough to make it feel uncomfortably warm. “Not ‘wrong’ per se, but not great either. I think you’ll be happy about it. Well, I hope so at least.”

She glared at me, plonking a tightened fist on her hip. “Joe, I don’t like surprises. Just tell me.”

“I don’t know…”

The clomping of Sob’s hooves as he rounded the corner with Nora waltzing beside him cut me off and I was grateful for it. Words were not my forte. How could you tell someone something that might devastate them? How are you supposed to just come out and say it?

The trip here had been awkward, to say the least. Stella and I were comfortable in each other's company even if our attack and hunting styles didn’t exactly mesh. Dragging along a shell of a man who could no longer string a full sentence together or even lift a sword had been difficult. Sometimes, he’d just wander off in the wrong direction and I’d have to go back and get him when I realized it was all of a sudden too quiet.

Ahh, shit. This was going to suck. I’d hoped to make this a relatively easy reunion. Having our entire crew traipse through the streets of Stanthorpe hadn’t even been close to my plan. Although watching Nora dispatch every Croc and snake that wandered into our path with powerful strikes of her axe was oddly therapeutic. Gabby and I didn’t even have to get involved.

One Croc’s head was almost clean off when Gabby fired a bolt from her wrist-straped crossbow. It landed with a thunk right before Nora’s backswing dropped the beast’s health bar to empty.

I lifted a brow at Gabby and the woman shrugged, a half smile creeping over her face, “What? I want some experience points too.”

I snorted and led the way past the final house on the block and followed the path out into the bush. I know you probably think I’m an absolute asshat for leaving the once-titled Champion out here but the man had refused to come any closer the moment Stanthorpe had come into view. I don’t know if it was because he recognized the place or because he knew it was swarming with monsters, but either way, it had been a real problem. It’s not like I could just have dragged him all the way to the Red Fox Inn. For one, I wasn’t strong enough to do that, and secondly, the man was likely to start screeching and attract all manner of deathly beasties our way.

The plan had been to get back to Gabby and drag her out here to get the man to see reason before something decided to eat him. I’d left two canteens of water and a handful of fire-roasted Sizzling Lizard so the man really couldn’t complain about being trapped in a miniature cave.

Night had long since swallowed the world before we approached the cluster of large reddish rocks highlighted in the clearing by beams of moonlight.

“Open the door please Stella,” I said.

Stella glowed a bright golden color as she charged for the larger round rock leaning against the cluster. The rock groaned when she struck it, rolling in a slow awkward movement away from the others that looked just like it. Dust blasted into the air and rained back down, settling on the ground at our feet.

“What the hell?” Nora said under her breath.

“Joe, would you…” Gabby tried to say before the shadow of a man climbed out of the cave and cut her off.

“Gabby, please forgive me,” Theo murmured before dropping to his knees and howling like a wolf abandoned by its pack.