Have you ever tried to turn off your panicking brain by sitting down and scrolling through your phone, sometimes for hours on end? Yeah, that’s where I was now, only, I didn’t have a phone. All I had were my menus that held every vital thing about who I was in a neat little window.
What else are you meant to do when you’re trapped in a deep dark dank hole with no way out sitting beside the corpse of a gargantuan snake?
“Joe, what’s happening?” Nora bellowed from up above, distracting me from the one thing I wanted to do.
My chest swelled as I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes and leaning back against the cold and wet wall of the pit.
“I’m fine. Just stuck. Give me a minute.”
She was yelling other things now but I chose to ignore them as I let the darkness permeate my entire being. I focused on the sound of running water, letting it drown out any other noises. I breathed slow and steady, not really counting the seconds but making sure each movement was as long and slow as I could manage without bringing on a coughing fit.
When I had settled and the pain from my groin had turned into little more than a dull throb far in the back of my mind I opened my eyes and focused on the blinking notification bell.
New Skill Unlocked: Master of Shadows
Once a day you can bring forth the power of your Goddess and command her followers that lurk in the darkest corners of your world. The Lady’s Force will replace your magicka pool for the duration of the skill effects. Skills that require magicka will become unavailable when Master of Shadows is active.
Requires the blessing of the Shadow Goddess to activate.
Well, that explained a lot about what had just happened. When I had been falling I had been attempting to use my Unrelenting Force skill to command the shadows but what had happened had dwarfed that skill with its sheer intensity. It was no wonder this new skill was something I could only do once a day.
I’d always thought commanding the shadows would just be an innate power I had simply from being the Shadow Goddess’s Chosen One. Well, at least I’d thought that from the moment she berated me for, what was it again? Ah yes, ‘cowering before the very things that should be prostrating at your feet’. Clearly, that was not the case. I would have to unlock skills to use the powers she had gifted me. That was fine and all but despite being stuck in this damn world for who the hell knows how long I still hadn’t figured out how certain skills unlocked.
Was it an event-based process? Did I need to make particular decisions or choices to make the skills I wanted become available? Was it linked to my player level? Or maybe I just needed to use skills in the same branch for particular amounts of time to unlock something more along that line.
It was a mystery. One I wasn’t sure I would ever really build a full understanding of. This is the kind of thing that I would normally leave to the experts as I perused their well-documented walkthroughs. It was a shame such a thing would never be available for me here. There were no search engines for the end of the world. A rude oversight of the so-called primordials if you think about it.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, scrolling my menus.
My main character stats hadn’t changed as much as I would have wanted them to. I was at a much higher level now but still, everything seemed so small. This slow creep leveling up was beginning to grind my gears.
Health:
37/45 (13)
Magicka:
23/23
Fatigue:
43/45
Level:
34
Ability
Score
Agility:
17 (1)
Charisma:
10
Constitution:
14
Endurance:
11
Intelligence:
8
Perception:
16
Magic:
1
Strength:
7 (1)
Having my sword equipped with its boon of the Spriggan Wraith upgrade along with my Ring of Vitality and the Ruby Amulet of Melumek’s Curse was doing a fine job of bolstering my paltry numbers.
The next window I looked at was my skills. The list was ever-growing and often easily forgotten. Especially the skills I rarely got much of a chance to use like Golden and Gnome Tongue. The reminder of their existence was enough even if the skills were next to useless deep down in the bottom of a foul-smelling hole.
Animal charmer
Animals now find you 10% less offensive. Only effective against noncombative animals.
Magic Resistance (I)
Being blasted with so much magic has made you develop a slight resistance to its powers. Magic spells are now 2% less effective against you.
Pickpocket
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
While unseen the option to view other players' held goods is now available to you. Be cautious though; looking is fine but touching may cause your head to decorate a pike.
Enhanced Shadow Eye
Hiding spots shown as glimmering silver sparkles will now appear to you at a greater range. If you look deeper you’ll see more secrets than just places to hide. Unique or hidden loot will now appear as golden sparkles. Perception increased by 5 points when skill is active.
Golden Tongue (I)
Merchants now offer you better pricing on goods based on the player's charisma skill so long as you don’t piss them off. Be warned Golden Tongue is a temperamental skill and can be lost as easily as it was given.
Gnome Tongue
You have learned an intermediate level of the guttural language the gnomes speak. You can now communicate effectively enough to ask for directions to the library with a dusting of swear words thrown in.
Evasion
Passive skill. Through trial and error, you have gained an otherworldly ability to sense danger. This talent allows the thief to better evade physical attacks. +15% chance to dodge physical attacks. +20% to avoid physical effects such as Knockdown and Stun.
Identify
The Ranger develops the ability to look upon an object or person and see the value they hold hidden within. The amount of information available is dictated by player level and perception.
Poison Resistance (I)
Because you are an idiot and seem to be incapable of avoiding being poisoned on a regular basis, your body has become accustomed to the feeling of your own blood trying to kill you. This is not a reward for your idiocy, this is simply nature trying to preserve your life for some weird reason. Maybe it's performing an unethical experiment on you or something.
15% increase to poison resistance. Effects of active poisoning have been reduced by 10% while health is 25% or greater.
Alchemy (IX)
Nothing brings an Alchemist greater pleasure than mixing together herbs, flowers, minerals, vitriols, and spirits to create valuable potions or deadly poisons. Be warned, without obtaining Alchemy Mastery potions still have a high chance of blowing up in your face should they fail.
70% potion crafting success rate.
Blink
Move with greater speed when avoiding physical attacks. Boosted if the wielder possesses the Evasion skill.
Speed greatly enhanced for 5 seconds.
Shadow Pulse
A true rogue guides the battle so he always comes out on top. Never let your foes surround you. Let loose a wave of brutal force and push them back, ready for your well-placed backstab.
3-meter knockback on execution.
Grim Kiss
A kiss can make your toes curl and your heart skip a beat. This is not that kind of kiss. The purple glow will consume you. Plant your lips and inject your foes with a heart-stopping poison.
328 points poison damage.
Blindsense
The Ranger has learned to use more senses than only their eyes. Blindsense allows the Ranger to navigate dark places with ease, sense friend or foe within a radius, and sense useful crafting material outside the range of Identify. The strength of Blindsense is dictated by player level and perception.
Unrelenting Force
The shadows bow before you and pray for mercy. When activated, the dark spirits that roam the earth will do your bidding. Strength and duration of Unrelenting Force is determined by player level and Perception ability.
Requires the blessing of the Shadow Goddess to activate.
Master of Shadows
Once a day you can bring forth the power of your Goddess and command her followers that lurk in the darkest corners of your world. The Lady’s Force will replace your magicka pool for the duration of the skill effects. Skills that require magicka will become unavailable when Master of Shadows is active.
Requires the blessing of the Shadow Goddess to activate.
Fifteen available skills for me to use on a whim with only a few minor restrictions. I still missed my Shadow Rush skill but even I couldn’t pretend I didn’t have a good thing going with what I did have.
An idea of how to escape my current predicament tickled the back of my mind. The thought was still in its infancy; only partially formed with fuzzy edges and a lot of unanswered questions but it was a start. Finding that feather-like touch of inspiration was the entire reason I was scrolling through things I already knew. Focusing on other mundane things had a wonderful impact of bringing out the deeper more useful thoughts. Almost like coaxing out a frightened animal by pretending you weren’t interested in it at all and letting it come to you.
“Joe, don’t make me come down there!” Nora screeched like a harpy from up above.
The sound jarred me from my meditation. The world was suddenly too loud and cold and uncomfortable again. The fleeting thought at the back of my mind spooked and darted away, disappearing back into a darkened corner I could not reach.
“Nora, please, would you…”
“Shut the hell up!”
I flinched at Frank’s interruption. It might have been what I had wanted to say but I wasn’t stupid enough to actually say it like he was.
“Excuse me?” The warrior woman bellowed.
“That was Frank, I swear,” I called back.
“You had better hope it was Joseph Griffon!”
I hissed through my clenched teeth at the sound of my full name. It was like having Mrs. Percott coming at me for making a mistake on the farm. The only difference was Mrs. Percott also unfortunately knew my middle name and liked to throw it in the mix whenever possible. Trust me, if you ever meet her and she pulls that crap, turn your ass around and bolt in the other direction like a grizzly bear is on your tail because I can assure you, it bloody well is.
I settled back down into my favored relaxing position and waited for the calm to overtake me again. When it did instead of hitting the three lines branded into my wrist I focused instead on my quest menu. I could have visited a different window, like my crafting one perhaps, but this one seemed a little more mind-numbing which is what I was going for. If I looked at my craftables I was sure to start trying to make shit again and Gabby and Jacob just didn’t have the time to wait for me to play with my potions.’’
Gabby and Jacob, that’s who you’re doing this for, I reminded myself. That’s what is important right now and was the reason I needed to calm the fuck down and let the thought come to me.
Dead Drop
Nigel, in a roundabout kind of way, has revealed the location of the desirable Tony the cable snake man. He is grabbing a frosty one at the Ettamogah Pub, near Table Top Mountain.
The Witch of Evermore
The witch is brewing a powerful potion, one that’s sure to knock the beastly Crocs on their ass. Collect the following items to get a taste of the sweet, sweet elixir. 10/1 Vampire Bat Wing. 2/1 Gall bladder of a King Toilet Croc. 2/1 Venom of the Nightstalker Rattler. Happy hunting
The Candlestick in the Ballroom
An unholy silence has taken over Old Man Wellington’s manor house. The man was a nut but a long-time collector of all things cryptic. Pay him a visit, and find out what happened.
Bushranger’s Helmet Cap
The Shadow Walkers need you to find an old dusty helmet. The last known reports place it in Glenrowan.
Underworld Collection
The Vanick Brothers have broken their agreement with the Shadow Walkers. We allowed them to run their gambling den in the sewers without Shadow Walker interference so long as they paid their bill. Guess what they didn’t do? Your task is to talk your way into the den and run their coffers dry with your skills. Deposit all winnings into the chest located by your guild contact to receive your reward.
Brother Lost
A guildmate has gone missing on an important mission to the Barrington Mine. Your task is to complete the one he couldn’t; retrieve the Lady Geraldine’s Pewter Flagon of Happiness. Once retrieved place the trinket in the chest located by your guild contact to receive your reward. A bonus will be given if you discover what happened to your guildmate.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in…
The thought came rushing to the front of my mind; no longer scared to be seen or heard. A wicked smile curved my lips as I looked up again at the tiny pinprick of blueish light that had to be Boopzy. There was a way for me to get out but it was dangerous and unbelievably stupid. Just the way I liked it.