I don’t know if you’ve ever felt the gnawing ache of a truly empty stomach but after three days of no food, the potatoes roasting on my tiny fire had me drooling like a bulldog. I’d only cooked four of the things. I had to be sparing or I’d go hungry again. My minimap didn’t tell me how far away a place was. I just hoped the tasty little morsels would last.

When they’d finished cooking, I set two aside to cool down before digging into the others. I couldn’t wait and a burnt mouth was my reward for it. But food, glorious food. My word was it worth it. I licked my fingers after and stared longingly at the others but no, they were not for me. When they’d cooled down enough, I gave them to a very appreciative Stella.

With a sigh I laid down, my arms folded behind my head as I looked up at the stars. My back was making laying down painful, but my legs were too sore to continue on and my stomach was just as burnt and sensitive.

I opened my inventory and sifted through all the information on the open window. The demon sheep had been an experience but at least I was a level-two character now. I’d also worked out that the little silver bar under my health bar was an indicator of how close I was to the next level. That was good to know. It was pretty low now but if I found a few more random quests on my way to Deepwater I might go up another level or two.

Another benefit of leveling up was that I had an ability point to spend. It sat beside my list of attributes just waiting for me to place it somewhere. I just wish I knew what the best way to go about this was. There was no searching online for walkthroughs for this game. I’d just have to wing it. Normally that wouldn’t bother me too much, but this was my life we were talking about. It made the choice far more intimidating than a regular game.

My eyes were lingering on strength or constitution. Both of those seemed the most useful right now. But I was a thief. Would either of those help me become a better one? Did it matter when I didn’t even have the appropriate equipment to be an actual stealth player? Argh, it shouldn’t be this hard!

I bit my inner cheek and chose strength. A little box asked me if I was sure. There was no option for ‘no but do it anyway’ so I chose ‘yes’ instead. My strength increased to five and one of the greyed-out boxes in my inventory lit up like the others. I had an extra spot! Suddenly I didn’t feel so bad about my choice.

Satisfied I closed my inventory and let my arm drop. I closed my eyes and smiled when Stella snuggled up beside me. Sleep was a long time coming but a much-needed escape from this constant bullshit.

We walked all the next day without finding anything even remotely interesting. No hidden treasure. No monsters. No quests. Just ordinary open plains with very little shade. I was definitely going to get skin cancer. My skin was so damn angry. My canteen was getting a little low too. I’d given a little to Stella and a little to Sob and now there were only a few drops left. That couldn’t be good. How long could someone last out here without water?

I needn’t have worried though. In the middle of the afternoon, dark clouds rolled in from the west bringing thunder and lightning with them. The rain came down in heavy sheets. I didn’t bother to hide from it. I stood there, my head turned up to the sky, and lifted my hands. I would have danced if my legs weren’t so sore. At least my feet were still pretty much painless. These boots were so worth the trouble with the croc.

Before it was too late though I found a rivulet of water and placed my canteen there hoping it would collect enough for later. As far as I could tell we still had a long way to go.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Rain is lovely when you’re hot and so sunburnt you want to scratch a few layers of skin off, but after a while it gets old. I found a little dry nook between a few large rocks and crawled into it, trying not to think about all the bugs I was upsetting. At least there were no snakes, that was a relief.

I sighed and rubbed my arms, trying to assuage the need to scratch when a speck of golden glow drew my eyes to the dirt beside my butt. A thin corner of something was sticking out of the ground. The grooves under my fingernails filled with sandy red dirt as I dug the thing out. I pulled out an old sack that someone must have stashed here at some point. I don’t know why, we were in the middle of nowhere, but since when did things make sense nowadays?

I hurriedly open the thing and tipped the contents into my lap. I almost hyperventilated at the giant unopened bag of hot and spicy beef jerky. I might as well have been looking at a bag of gold. I ripped the thing open and tore into a strip, the spice making me do a little jig, which is hard to do when you’re squished into a tiny little hollow. It was the best thing in the world, even better than the potatoes. I never thought food would mean so much to me but holy cow this is the best cow I could hope for right now.

There was one other thing in the bag. It was way less exciting than the dried meat but still bloody helpful. An old slightly tarnished zippo lighter. I flicked it open and lit the thing after a few tries. I was a little surprised it lit at all if I’m being honest.

I opened my bum bag and shoved my goodies in there. I so badly wanted to eat about half the bag of jerky but self-control, something I’d not always been great at, was all that was keeping me alive right now. It was a little disheartening that my inventory was practically full again. I didn’t like this restrictiveness. Maybe I could find a storage chest that would be accessible from almost anywhere. Some games had that, yeah? Or maybe some saddlebags for Sob if he wouldn’t balk at being a packhorse. Hard to know what that horse would accept or not.

Anyway. The rain had slowed now so there was no point dilly-dallying. I crawled out of my hole, scooped up my half-full canteen, and continued on to Deepwater. Sob wandered behind me somewhere and Stella trotted along at my heel like the good girl she was.

It took another two days of constant walking to reach the outskirts of the village. When I did get there things got strange. Even more strange than they already were I mean.

Do you remember the toilet crocs? Yeah, those fearsome, mutated, alien beasts that tore anything they found to pieces. Well, here, right on the edge of the town was a forest unlike any I’d ever seen. Sharpened sticks were driven deep into the ground and on every single one of them was the head of a croc.

Birds had started eating the rotting flesh, which was sickening enough, but worse, was the smell. Dear whatever god you worship, the smell was sickening. I’d have spilled my jerky breakfast all over the ground if I weren’t so determined to keep those delicious morsels where they were.

Something was going on here. Something unlike anything I’d seen so far. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a part of it. But hey, who was I to argue with a scrap of toilet paper? Not that kind, the other kind, you know, we’ve already been over this. Telling stories is harder than I thought it would be. Guess I shouldn’t quit my day job any time soon.

I wandered through the forest trying desperately not to touch any of them. I had to yell at Stella three times just so she wouldn’t take a bite of the disgusting display. I’m not sure she really listened. Remind me not to let her lick my face.

The quest icon led me to a run-down shack right on the edge of town. The fence around the place was strung with barbed wire and there were more of the heads on sticks lining the path like sickening lawn ornaments.

I crept up to the door, eyeing the scattered holes in the aged and peeling wood. I couldn’t seem to shake the tightening in my chest. Something felt wrong. Really, really wrong. Stella growled beside me which didn’t help my discomfort at all.

I reached out, taking a hold of the old, tarnished knocker, and banged it a few times. A deafening boom hurt my ears and I yelped and fell on my ass as a new scattering of holes appeared in the door.

“Get the fuck off my lawn,” a deep voice bellowed from within. “Or next time, I won’t miss!”

The bastard had almost shot me!