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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 123 – Hanley’s Admission

Chapter 123 – Hanley’s Admission

I rounded the final building on the street and stumbled out onto the long winding road on the other side. There I froze staring out at a scene that could have easily been taken from a movie.

The Eastern horizon was ablaze in unholy fire, lighting up the clouds overhead in brilliant shades of orange, red, and purple. Thick clouds of acrid smoke rose from the fire, mingling high in the sky and drawing out flickering bolts of lightning from the atmosphere. Marching through the scattered buildings and towering trees that dotted the landscape was the horde; a mob of monsters big and small stretching from horizon to horizon.

Enormous balls of fire shot through the air, consuming everything that blocked their path until all that was left was a line of charred destruction. Lizards taller than any Croc I’d ever seen wound through the masses, spreading their frill wide and spitting a dense green acid that reduced everything in front of it, even its own horde members, to nothing but a puddle of viscera.

I swallowed and slunk back into the shadows. The edge of the suburb before me had been turned into a fortification of steel and wood. Players of every class stood by it, ready to face the horde as it made its way into the city. Mages took the high ground, casting spells I didn’t understand. Glowing runes appeared before the horde, driving the creatures back with explosions and impenetrable fields. Heavy warriors stood at the front lines, bellowing warcries that made my knees knock against the unnatural wave of fear that washed over me.

The Gunslingers were interspersed amongst the heavy warriors. There weren’t as many of them as I would have thought. They held a vast collection of different weaponry from enormous rocket launchers to twin six-shooters.

Hanley would be there with them somewhere, I just had to find him.

I crept among the buildings and the towering trees, searching the stragglers at the back of the pack for information. This wild scene seemed crazy. The players should be trying to survive, not trying to defeat a monster army. If something didn’t give, an enormous chunk of players were going to be snuffed out. I could already feel the number in my menu dropping, even though the armies had yet to meet on the battlefield.

I couldn’t help but notice the distinctive lack of thieves amongst the gathered warriors. The few I did see seemed to be primarily archers. There were even a few Daughters of Umbra down there, their feathered wings drawing the eye like nothing else could. I guess my brethren weren’t as eager to throw their lives away on a fool's errand like the warriors were.

The only problem with that was that I would stick out like a sore thumb if I tried to join the crowd.

Cursing my choice not to obtain the camouflage skill I turned and marched up to the base of a towering eucalyptus tree. I scaled it as high as I was willing to go, keeping my bulk closer to the trunk so the dull green foliage would shield me from prying eyes.

My best play was to wait until darkness fell so I could wander the shadows more covertly. The horde was still far away. It would take a long time for an army so large to cross the distance to here. That gave me a scarce few hours to locate the missing Gunslinger, interrogate him, and leave before I was caught up in the battle myself.

Darkness came faster than I thought it would. The blanket of stars overhead was hidden by the thick clouds of smoke. Moving down the tree was a lot faster than going up. My boots hit the hard-packed earth with a thump, letting up a puff of dust that tickled my nose. Boopzy was shuddering against my neck, his tentacles squeezing harder and harder until it became difficult to breathe.

“Alright scaredy-pus, it's time to go into the pocket again.”

I reached up and tickled his fur until he let go and then stuffed him into my pocket before buttoning it shut over him. Together we crept through the shadows and into the crowd. The players not still gathered on the front lines were crowded around small cookfires, eating and drinking or even snoring sprawled out right there on the ground.

I walked slowly and no one really looked my way. A small blessing in the world of bullshit that I had become accustomed to. I glanced from side to side, eyeing every Gunslinger I came across with my Identify skill. Not a single one of them was Hanley.

“Dude, come join us,” a drunken heavy warrior slurred, grabbing ahold of my shoulder and dragging me toward the fire closest to us. He dipped his fingers into the pouch at his waist and pulled out a beer, shoving it into my hands.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I shrugged and downed the delicious brew. Before I knew it, I was a six-pack or two deep singing a song I didn’t know the lyrics to. I dropped to the stump I was calling a seat and hooted along with the rest of the players gathered around me.

“You’re alright mate,” the man who had twisted my arm into drinking bellowed, elbowing me so hard he almost unseated me. “How come I ain’t seen ya before?”

I rubbed the sore spot he’d made and tried to find the last vestiges of intelligence rattling around my head. “It’s a big camp, dude.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Hey man,” I said cracking open another bottle. “Ever heard of the Gunslinger Hanley?”

“That crazy asshole,” another of the players around the fire growled. “Everybody knows about him.”

“Yeah,” another chimed in, “I heard he almost blasted a hole in Rochelle the other day.”

“No,” the first man I’d met let out in a long drone. “Not that Cleric babe with the killer rack?”

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“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“What’s his problem anyway?” I mumbled draining the last drops from the bottle.

“I heard he had his brain scrambled by some sort of monster,” someone I couldn’t see said.

“Nah, it’s just ‘cause he can’t get his meds, man. I tell ya, the invasion really screwed up the lives of anyone who needs a little extra help in that department.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not it. Someone said he was a completely different man only a few months ago. Something went wrong on a mission or something.”

“Yeah, he was the only survivor from one of those raids,” I said. “The rest of his crew were slaughtered by that murderer who paints skulls and roses everywhere.”

The man I was sitting beside choked on his swill, coughing up a stream of amber liquid before practically screaming, “What’s with that crew anyway? They some kind of assassin guild?”

I frowned and said, “They?”

“Well yeah,” the big warrior said. “Ain’t no way a single person took out so many high-ranking players.”

The skinny guy across the fire leaned forward, his speckled face lighting up from the flickering flames. “I heard they even took out Nora Nightingale. No way a single person could do that. She was a killing machine.”

“Yeah, you know I tried to hit on her once. She almost took off my leg with that axe of hers.”

The skinny guy laughed and shouted, “Better your leg than your one-eyed wonder weasel!”

The big guy laughed and lifted his bottle, “Ain’t that the truth.”

I didn’t much like the direction the conversation had gone but I didn’t know how to get it back to Hanley. I nursed my next beer for the longest time, watching the other players drop one by one into a drunken slumber. Eventually, it was only the skinny guy left. I had to say, I was pretty impressed by the man's stamina.

Taking a chance I asked, “Do you know where they’ve got that idiot Gunslinger Hanley holed up?”

“Why do you care? So long as he’s far away from the rest of us it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, I was kinda hoping to get a little more familiar with Rochelle. Don’t want to get a bullet in my ass when my pants are around my ankles, you get me?”

The man snorted and said, “Good luck with that. I’ve been trying to win a piece of that ass for months now. Rochelle is a tough nut to crack. And yeah, she’s the one taking care of that Hanley guy in the medic tent. A rogue bullet is definitely something to worry about.”

“Where’s the medic tent?”

“What is this, your first day? It’s at the back of the line you numpty.”

“Oh right. Guess I’ve had one too many of these bad boys,” I said, tossing my empty bottle into the fire before standing and stretching. “Catch you around, man.”

“Yeah, sure,” the guy muttered cracking another one.

I marched away back into the comfort of the shadows. My social battery was a limited resource and it was well and truly drained by now. I was a little proud of myself though, I’d managed to get a bunch of information without letting on that I didn’t belong here. Hell, I’d got good and wasted and still didn’t even know a single one of their names.

I glanced around, making sure no one was watching me before sticking my hand out into a darker patch of shadow.

“I need you, come out,” I whispered.

I pulled my hand back and a glob of shadow came with it. It reared up, tilting the ball that might have been its head to the side. Boopzy, who had been pleasantly quiet until now, started wriggling and squealing. I tapped my pocket, trying to quiet him down before he drew too much attention my way.

“Go find the medic tent and come back, alright?”

The glob bobbed its head and slid through my fingers like it was made of water, dropping to the ground and disappearing into the shadows. I didn’t know if the shadow would actually be helpful but it didn’t hurt to try. I stumbled in a not-so-straight line through the clustered fires, keeping my eyes off the bright horizon and the growling and snarling monsters that were out there somewhere just waiting to tear the lot of us limb from limb.

I kept my feet right up until the moment the glob of shadow flung itself from a bush and splattered across my face. It was almost as horrible as it was when Boopzy did that. The glob detached itself and rushed away leaving me to climb back to my feet and chase after it.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to follow a small shadow in the middle of the night? I do not recommend it.

I was almost back to the building I’d left Sob in when a large fabric tent lit by lanterns came into view. I swore and sent a rock flying with the tip of my boot. I’d been so damn close to it right from the beginning. I could have been interrogating the bastard hours ago.

I used my Blindsense on the tent, scanning it for enemies before I ducked under the flap into a space filled with makeshift cots. Only one of the cots was occupied which I suppose was a good thing given the fact we were somehow dumped in the middle of a war.

The big man in the bed sat upright, staring at me with bloodshot brown eyes. His chin was covered by a scraggly beard almost as bushy as his eyebrows. I used my Identify on him without even thinking about it.

Hanley Orinton – Level 32 Gunslinger

“Whatcha want,” the man grunted, glaring at me like I’d come to kill him or something.

Sure, maybe it was a possibility, but I don’t like that that was the first thing he jumped to. “Calm down, I only want to talk.”

“’Bout what?” Hanley snapped.

“The night you almost died.”

The man’s eyes grew wide. He dropped back down, yanking his sheet over his head. “No way. Fuck off.”

“Come on man. It will only take a minute,” I begged.

I flinched at the sound of a gun cocking. “Back off or you can join my friends in the afterlife.”

“Let’s start over. I’m Joe, nice to meet you.”

Hanley dropped the sheet and shot upright again. “Joe?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Hanley smiled but it wasn’t the good kind. His face contorted into something dark and wicked. He dropped the gun he was holding and snatched up his sheet, holding it like a barrier between us.

When he spoke it was with a much deeper tone than he had used before. “I have a message for you.”