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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 165 – The Manor House

Chapter 165 – The Manor House

Finding the manor house was maybe the simplest thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t even need my minimap to guide me once I’d gotten close enough that it was no longer hiding beneath the horizon. Even the hill standing between me and it hadn’t been a barrier.

I looked up at the swirling blackened clouds over the grand building and wondered if Melumek thought all dangerous places required such a cliché crown. I felt like I was back on the beaches of Perth looking out on Rottnest Island. I wasn’t though, I was standing on that hill that had once stood between me and the manor, soaking up the sunshine that shone everywhere but on that one plot of land.

It was a good vantage point to scout what lay ahead of me. For Stella, it was a good place to sprawl on a large flat rock and roast like a lizard might. She was probably the only player in this game who preferred this new world over the old one.

To her, it was just endless fun adventures with plenty of giant chew toys walking around and instead of herding cattle all day every day she got to laze around doing whatever struck her fancy. It was what I imagined retirement would be like. Well, if you were wealthy enough to fund that kind of lifestyle and not be in a panic every day about the roof over your head or the food in your belly. A simple farmboy can dream, can’t he?

No, I’m not procrastinating. This is how you scout out a place, trust me, I have a surprising amount of experience nowadays.

I took out my notebook and flicked to the final few pages I had left, pulling a face at the fact that I didn’t have more. The manor house was large; more like a castle than a house. It even had matching circular turrets on opposite sides of the building, pointy rooves, and all. I hoped this questline wouldn’t need a great deal of notes to complete. Things rarely went so easily for me though.

Done scrawling down everything I could observe from here I started the trek down the hill. It took much too long and a loud whistle for Stella to notice I wasn’t standing beside her anymore.

As I drew closer the eerie nature of the building became clear. The clouds rumbled angrily in the sky but seemed uninterested in dumping the load that kept them swollen and dark. There were no other sounds. You’d think that would be comforting but instead, it was spooky. Where were the singing birds and the chirping crickets? Even the breeze brushing against my cheek was silent.

I stepped through the gate a good kilometer from the front door into a world completely different from the one outside it. In here, everything was blackened and charred like a wildfire had recently swept through it. The ground was covered in thick soot. Any form of vegetation had been destroyed. Sporadically around the plot, the dead skeletons of trees reached their bare fingers toward the sky. The acrid stench of smoke burned the hairs in my nose, almost but not entirely covering the sickly sweet smell of rot.

The air around me was charged, making the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand on end. The constant buzz made my jaw clamp painfully but I continued down the path regardless. Stella was running from one side of the path to the other, sniffing at everything. Her tail was stiff and raised, sticking out almost straight behind her.

I climbed the three stairs leading up to the door and then just stood there, staring at the portal that was either standing between me and a payday or me and death. The fact that the wood was charred completely black did not fill me with confidence.

Strangely, the golden lion's head knocker was the only thing in this entire place that seemed untouched by what I could only assume was a magically induced fire. It shone as bright and radiant as the sun hidden behind the clouds, every detail of it intricately forged. It was not just well polished, there was a glow about it, like the glow that crept up Stella’s body when she was readying a powerful attack.

I reached up and grabbed ahold of the ring that circled from the lion’s roaring mouth, banging it three times against the hardwood of the door. Plumes of black dust rose around each beat of the metal ring, blasting the same harsh smell right up my nose.

The door creaked as it swung wide, snatching the ring from my hand. I dodged to the side, peeking around the edge of the doorway rather than standing out in the open.

Everything inside was lit by flickering dull light but other than that, I couldn’t make anything else out. I squinted but it didn’t help much. There was something in the way. Something like a sheet of water making everything look distorted.

I focused on my Blindsense to try to see through it but it showed me nothing at all. What was the point of a skill if it didn’t give me what I wanted? I turned my best ear to the doorway and closed my eyes, focusing on the sounds. The walls creaked and something made a steady thumping beat. None of that gave me any hints about what might lay ahead but on the upside, at least none of it seemed overly deadly. Spooky, sure, but not deadly.

“Come on, Stella. Let’s get this over and done with.,” I said quietly.

Stella didn’t take the hint and let out a string of booming barks as she bolted from her place on the path, up the steps, and through the doorway.

Boom!

My ears screamed in agony like they’d just been stabbed with a knife. I pressed my hands tight against them but it didn’t take away the ringing.

Stella cried as she went flipping back through the air and landed in a heap in the middle of the path. I called out her name but even I couldn’t hear the vibrations. I stumbled toward her, falling flat on my face when my boot missed the step.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

A golden wall of light filled the open doorway behind me, the brightness of it fading the further I got from it. I could see the dip in my health bar but it was a small fraction compared to the amount Stella had lost.

“Are you alright?” I asked her as I lifted up her head and placed it in my lap.

I would have been happy to know my ears were back in action if it wasn’t for Stella laying limp. The thick black soot coated her fur, turning her from a regular cattle dog to a black labrador.

“Stella!”

My girl snorted and flailed, thumping me in the chest with all four paws and sending me sprawling. She barked and shot to her feet, taking a firm stance and baring her teeth in my direction.

“Stella, it’s me,” I said, staying perfectly still.

I’d never seen her like this before, at least not when it was directed at me. I never realized just how terrifying she was. My chest was heaving and my vision was hyper-focused on the way she snarled. I had to physically stop myself from reaching up to grab my sword.

It was only for a moment and then it passed. Stella dropped to the ground and rested her head on her paws, her ears hanging low and a soft whimper coming from her throat. The fear washed away almost as quickly and I was beside her in a moment, gently stroking her ever so slightly sticky fur.

Her health was already replenishing very quickly but she sulked despite it. The golden wall had been a stronger rejection than the time Mrs. Percott had all but kicked Stella out of the kitchen. I could still picture that day and the way the older woman waved her wooden spoon about over her head and bellowed like a harpy. I couldn’t blame Mrs. Percott though, Stella had stolen an entire block of cheese off the kitchen bench.

“Come on, we have to figure out how to get inside,” I said.

Stella huffed a cloud of soot before finally climbing to her feet and following me back up the stairs. She made it to the topmost one before she started growling again. Thankfully it wasn’t directed at me.

I checked my health bar before I stepped close to the doorway. It was high enough to survive this. I swallowed hard and gingerly reached out with a shaking finger and passed it over the threshold.

The golden wall flashed into existence but rather than letting out an ear-splitting boom and sending me flying all it did was tickle me with warmth. A chime played and words appeared in front of my face.

Requirement Achieved - Thief Class!

Entry Granted.

“Well shit,” I said as I pulled my hand back, flexing my comfortably warm fingers and turning to look at Stella. “What do we do now?”

She didn’t answer me but instead tilted her head and stared with those annoyingly soft brown eyes.

I reached up, scrubbing my hand over my stubbled hair as I wracked my brain for any sort of idea, no matter how idiotic. Nothing in the description of the quest implied that only thief-class players could undertake it. This was complete and utter bullshit.

“Wait here,” I said.

I used my Blink skill to do a lap of the building, looking for an unlocked door or a slightly ajar window but none of that existed. I guess you couldn’t really call what I did a lap. A tall wrought iron fence covered in mean-looking spikes blocked my path where the turret protruded from the straight wall. I turned and ran the other way only to skid to a halt for the same reason on the other side.

Fuck.

I returned to the main entrance and stuck my head through the golden wall trying not to enjoy the tingling sensation as I swept the room with a practiced gaze. It was empty and ridiculously grand. Twin staircases swept around the outer edges of the room, curving to the upper floor, and circling a grand chandelier that hung from the ceiling. Hundreds of flickering candles were held there, their light dancing on the gems hanging from the swooping metal arms of the chandelier.

The floor was tiled black and warm wood panelling lined the walls. I could see four doors, all of them as dark as the door I stood by, but every one of them closed. Oddly enough, even from this distance, I could see they all had golden objects attached to them like the golden lion’s head knocker. I have no idea why inner doors needed knockers but without closer inspection, that’s what they looked like.

The air inside lacked the acrid stench of smoke but it was still and stale, almost too warm to call it comfortable. The creaking and groaning were louder inside but were minor enough that they could have been an old building shifting and settling. The Percott farmhouse had done that on many occasions.

I pulled my head back, satisfied that we were in no immediate danger. Still, I did not want to go in there alone. I don’t care if it was designed for thief-class players, I preferred to have a tank by my side.

“Stella, can you come closer?” I asked, tapping a hand against my thigh.

Stella’s tail dropped but she did as I said, stepping right up beside me. The golden wall bloomed back into its full glory. The warmth I felt before had changed into raw electric power. Stella’s ears flattened and she marched backward, growling at the wall that was keeping her outside.

Stella needed some sort of cloak of invisibility. Something that gave off the same energy as a thief class. It didn’t have to be endlessly powerful; just enough to get her through the door.

Unsure what else to do I summoned the skill I’d been curious about since the moment I’d gotten it; Master of Shadows. I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes, and tilted my head to bellow up at the bulging dark clouds circling overhead.

“Shroud her. Make her one of us.,” I commanded.

Purple lightning flashed and thunder boomed. From the sky, a tornado of shadows descended. They swarmed over Stella like flies on shit. Stella cried but she didn’t seem to be in pain. The soot that covered her fur seemed to ripple, covering any of the spots it hadn’t reached before until she really was an all-black dog. The shadows were disappearing like wisps of smoke but not before they crowded around Stella’s eyes. When they finally disappeared, what was once soft, brown, and wet were now sharp, glowing, and a brilliant shade of violet.

“Stella?” I asked shakily.

Stella let out a loud bark and wagged her tail. I smiled and let out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding before ruffling the fur between her ears. No matter how she looked she was still my girl.

“What do say, should we go inside?”

Together we stepped through the wall of golden light into the manor lobby. The door closed behind us with a resounding bang followed almost immediately by the loud click of a bolt locking into place.

That couldn’t be good.