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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 167 – Green Means Go

Chapter 167 – Green Means Go

It was a clock. A very fancy one but a clock all the same.

I opened up the case door noticing for the first time that the pendulum bob had an hourglass engraved on it. Hourglasses seemed to be a popular theme in this place. Over the deep echoing tick of the clock, a loud wailing sounded high overhead. I yanked my head out of the clock case, my neck cracking with the speed I threw it back.

Get out…

A voice that wasn’t the mousey form of Old Man Wellington spoke in my ear. I batted at it but there was no chasing away a ghost with a simple swing of a gloved hand. The breeze came again only stronger this time, making the flames on the candles high above dance, casting wild shadows around the room. My breath turned into a cloud in front of my face as my teeth began to chatter. Whatever the poltergeist was it was growing angrier.

I don’t know why it was angry at us. It’s not like Stella and I could just waltz on out the door. The ghost or whatever it was was the reason we were trapped in here to begin with.

Stella sneezed and rubbed her face over the red and yellow rug by my feet, snuffling and snorting and flinging her paws about. The black globs coating her fur rippled and shifted, unhappy with being shoved so violently into the ground.

“What is the matter girl?” I asked.

Stella lifted her head to stare at me and in response, like the kind and loving owner that I was, I screamed and stumbled back right into the clock. She looked very different. Her fine black whiskers had stretched out to ridiculous lengths and were now white and wiry. The long thick threads twitched and shifted independently from her snout.

“What the hell?”

Her transformation into a blackhound had been bad enough. Now she was changing again. I’m not sure how many more transformations I could take in one day. I couldn’t resist lifting a hand to feel around my own cheeks, sure I’d bear the same whiskers that she did. For whatever reason, it hadn’t happened to me just yet. No doubt I would not be far behind though. I needed to figure out this damn puzzle so I could get us the hell out of here.

With little more than a thought, I called up my Enhanced Shadow Eye, slowly turning as I scoped out the room, looking for any sparkling indicators. The first I saw were slipping from around the edges of one of the extravagant paintings. The sparkles were few and barely bright enough to draw the eye but they were there, and better yet, they were golden, not silver.

I jogged to it, carefully lifting the heavy frame to remove the painting from the wall. I looked around but with nowhere else to place it I leaned it against the grandfather clock. It would be safe enough there for now.

Behind the painting the plaster of the wall had cracked, allowing the sparse sparkles to slip through and float across the surface of the wall. The crack itself was glowing brightly from all the sparkles trapped inside.

I couldn’t help but smile as I drew my sword again and turned it around, using the heavy ball-shaped pommel to break apart the plaster. The sparkles escaped in a wave, like ants whose nest had been disturbed, racing across the remaining plaster until their light faded and they disappeared.

I reached into the hole I’d created, gripping the solid brick-like object that was hiding within. I drew my hand out and inspected the thing. It was a pretty wooden box, hastily, and poorly, wrapped in an old and dirty rag of some sort. I untied the rag, threw back the lid, and dug out the jewels within.

5,000 gold!

Item Received: Amulet of Deepening Shadow

Description: Created by a wizard who simply wanted to disappear from the greedy clutching hands of entitled people seeking his magic, this amulet will allow the wearer to turn invisible. Ability to activate the spell and the duration of it are linked to the wearer's magicka pool.

Effect: Invisibility

Two available upgrade slots

I couldn’t help but wonder where this little gem had been all my life. The ability to simply turn invisible on a whim would have saved me hundreds of times. With something like this, maybe Rory wouldn’t be waiting for me on the other side.

I sighed at the sudden wave of sadness that ate away at my insides and dug out the next item.

Item Received: Jewelled Belt Buckle of the Lyrebird

Description: A beautiful buckle designed in the shape of the infamous lyrebird and studded with real, authentic gemstones. You can look high and low but you’ll never find something as unique as this little gem. The perfect gift for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and just about any other occasion. Hurry and pick up that phone, these beauties won’t last long.

Effects: Mimic the voice of another. Duration 10 minutes.

Charge: 50/50

Item Received: Silver Bracelet of Bash

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Description: Crafted by a master silversmith determined to win the affection of a buxom maid. Detailed with fine filigree in hopes that she would choose him over all others.

Restricted to the Warrior Class. Must possess the skill of Bash

Effect: Bash skill strength doubles with each successful strike until the user sustains damage.

Not a bad haul for a little hole in the wall. I opened up my inventory and equipped the dazzling belt buckle. The sparkling jewels were dulled by the thick band of my bum bag crossing over the top but that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I was already colorful enough without the rainbow of jewels twinkling from just above my crotch.

The amulet followed, replacing my Amulet of Melumek’s Curse. The loss of an extra stat in strength and bonuses to my vitality was worth it for the new skill. I couldn’t think of a better piece of jewelry for a thief although the link to magicka was a little frustrating. It was like the game was forcing me to become some sort of weird blend of mage and thief. Was that a thing that existed? I had no idea. Still, it would be useful. I had already pumped up my intelligence stat for a few other things that required it.

I gave the bracelet to Stella, carefully twining it around her forepaw twice before closing the tiny little latch. I had to remove a glove to do it and swore at least five times. The tiny little spring ring was not made for my big fingers. Stella glared at the thing but surprisingly left it alone. I had expected her to shake her paw to try to remove it or gnaw at it with her teeth. Apparently, she could tell that the tiny silver rope would help her in some way. I just hoped I wasn't wrong in guessing that Stella’s favorite charge-up skill was named ‘Bash’.

I took the time to pull out my Croc Tooth Dagger of Eviscerate. The thing wouldn’t fit in the sheath on my back but it was enough to have it secured behind my belt for now. It was a powerful little dagger with a deadly curved blade. The fact that it had a high chance of critical hits and an almost guaranteed ability to inflict bleeding damage was just an added bonus.

That done I closed my menu and turned around to lift the picture back into place but paused with my fingers just barely touching the frame.

I’d never deactivated my Enhanced Shadow Eye skill and now I was grateful for it. When the pendulum swung a burst of sparkles escaped from behind it only to be covered and then revealed again with each swing.

I knew the clock was there for a reason!

I abandoned the picture and yanked open the case, eyeing the tiny little switch hidden in a knot of darkened wood directly behind the pendulum. Desperate to not damage the clock in any way at the height of the pendulum's swing I Blinked and reached for the switch, flicking it in the opposite direction.

I came out of my Blink just in time to hear the satisfying click of a latch unlocking behind me.

“Come on, girl,” I practically bellowed right as another wave of cold air washed over me. “No time to lose.”

I ran to the first door, smiling from ear to ear when I saw the hourglass icon emblazoned on it glowing green. It didn’t take a genius to know green meant it was good to go. I eyed the little duplicate of the outside lion's head knocker that was attached to this door. I still wasn’t sure why it existed at all. No one was going to use a knocker when inside the house. All the doors had them though. This one was a lion but there was also a bear, a fox, and what I assumed was some kind of monkey. No doubt they all had meanings but for the time being it escaped me.

Before I turned the knob I used my Blindsense to scan the area behind the door. No auras flashed up which I assumed meant it was safe. Safe from monsters at least.

I pushed the door open but it stuck on something almost immediately forcing me to shove my shoulder into it to get it opened enough for me and Stella to slip through. Something rattled across the floor behind the door, I couldn’t see what it was through the brightness on the other side at odds with the dim flickering candlelit room I stood in only moments before.

When my eyes finally adjusted enough for me to stop squinting all I could manage was a heavy sigh. The rattling was due to the large stack of bones that were clustered by the door. Most of them were human in appearance but some smaller, strangely shaped ones were either from animals or monsters, I couldn’t tell which. Either way, a giant pile of bones did not bode well for Stella and me.

I scanned the rest of the room, still unsure where exactly the blinding golden light was coming from. It was like I was standing outside in the middle of a cloudless day. The light bounced off the hundreds of lion-shaped statues crowding the room, all of them facing the far wall. Some were bigger than three men standing atop each other's shoulders while others were small enough to fit in the palm of my hand.

The wall they faced was free from all decoration save for I singular plaque with delicate calligraphy engraved onto it. I read the word right as the door slammed shut behind us and the lock clicked back into place.

The mouse creeps around the house hunted by the king.

Beware the lion’s sharp toothless bite.

He who is brave enough to steal the golden ring,

There is only failure without sight.

I stared at the words for the longest time, wondering who would bother to scrawl such gibberish onto a sheet of gold. Was this one of those strange cryptic things Old Man Wellington was said to collect or was this all a wild sham put on by the so-called poltergeist?

I scanned the room another time to ensure I hadn’t missed anything. Nothing stuck out to me aside from one ribcage that seemed to be attached to the wall. I carefully navigated over to it, clamping my teeth hard every time Stella knocked a bone and sent it rattling across the floor. There were no other noises in this room but the ones we were making and because of it even our breathing seemed loud. As I stepped up in front of the ribcage the reason it was attached to the wall became clear. A heavy shafted bolt was lodged between two of the ribs, trapping it in place.

I swallowed hard as I turned back, eyeing the grotesque golden lion statue staring directly at me. Its mouth was opened wide; a spot of shadow amongst the glaring light. The lion did indeed bite, and not with anything that resembled a tooth. At least I knew the words on the wall had a meaning I had to decipher. That was something to go by even if it wasn’t much.

I turned back to the plaque, reading it a second time to try and find the hidden meaning.