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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 91 – Traps and Treasures

Chapter 91 – Traps and Treasures

I stood motionless in the middle of the room, blood dripping from the tip of my sword as I watched the abomination slide past me. It was humanoid in form but covered from head to toe in foul bulbous growths that oozed a yellow liquid that smelled of spoiled milk.

Its name floated above its head with its half-depleted health bar, warping with every thudding step it took.

Ca’Vagiri

It was something I’d never heard of before. Not in movies. Not in books. Not even in obscure blog posts. I’d located the thing hiding in a cave with my Identify skill and almost successfully avoided it. If it hadn’t been for the trigger trap hidden in the rocks, I would have made it to the next stairwell.

The silence was its weakness. If it couldn’t hear me, it couldn’t see me. All I had to do was stand still and control my breathing. It had no nose. It had no eyes. All it had was a pair of large pointed ears protruding from the bulging lump that was its head.

The room I was in was the strangest yet. The floor of it a mimicry of the desert with nothing but hot stone, sand, and cactuses as far as the eye can see. The walls and the ceiling however were covered in thousands of different mirrors. Some of them framed, others not. Some were as little as shards and others were bigger than the one Eugene used as a portal. I kept a careful eye on those, sure they were just as deceptive.

The Ca’Vagiri disappeared around one of the stone formations scattered around the room. I let out my held breath and sucked in another, quieting my screaming lungs. The Ca’vagiri was scary and sickly to look at but it didn’t invoke the same level of overwhelming terror as the Serpardus did.

Free from the danger of being absorbed into the monster like the player before me had been. I slunk toward the stairs, keeping to the shadows and utilizing the occasional sparkling hiding spot that my Shadow Eye revealed to me.

My Identify skill revealed a second Ca’Vagiri moving right for me. I froze in place, waiting for it to leave as the other had. This one was bigger than the last. Its ears swiveled on either side of its head. It lifted its head and let out a strange humming noise.

The sound was dull but it made me dizzy. The ground rushed up to meet me as the ceiling tumbled down. I flung my hands up to keep from being crushed but all it did was make me fall on my ass.

The Ca’Vagiri howled and came for me. I scrambled to my feet and leaped over stones and cacti, running toward one of the mirrors on the wall. The smell of spoiled milk intensified as the monster reached for me.

I covered my face with my arm, preying my foolhardiness wasn’t misplaced. The mirror swallowed me, enveloping me in frigid cold. Blinding silver light burned my eyes. I fell forward, trying to protect myself as I hit the hard ground and copped a mouthful of sand.

I coughed and spat out thick globs of the stuff as I looked around. The mirror had sent me clear across the room. It was a more uncomfortable form of the Rift skill. Sweet.

From my place by the wall, I could see the Ca’Vagiri that had nearly caught me. It was pounding on the glass of the mirror I had run through, unable to pass through the way I had.

I turned and ran for the exit, leaping over bones and boulders alike in my mad rush. The sound of my escape drew out the beasts. They swarmed and let out the same hum, sending me reeling and tripping over my own feet. I crawled for another mirror, slipping through the glass gateway just as a Ca’Vagiri grabbed my foot.

The pull of the portal yanked me free of the monster's hold. I spun in the silver mist, pressing a hand against my flipping stomach. If you’ve ever felt car sick before you know how I felt. My head ached. Bitter bile tickled the back of my throat. I felt weak and closed my eyes against the ever-shifting world of mirrors. A realm of its own inside another.

I was spat out again, this time from a higher mirror. I dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, groaning as my already bruised and battered body complained just that little bit louder. All my resources were full but they couldn’t help me much right now.

Confirming I was free from the abominations I navigated to my crafting menu and tried another combination of materials.

Trap failed

I swore and rose to my feet, infuriated that I couldn’t find another kind of trap. I wanted something more than the standard spring traps. They were no good to me in a place like this. I needed something more like a weapon; more offensive power and less defensive.

I’d tried all the combinations I could think of. More wire. More metal shards. All of one and then the other. Nothing worked.

I tried to sneak again. Before I could get anywhere a nest of Ca’Vagiri revealed itself. I looked for the stairs, grumbling quietly to myself that they were further away now than they had been before. Yep, the mirrors were just as shit as my Rift skill. Less sweet.

Still, I needed to get away from the nest of monsters and the Rift skill made noise. I found a mirror with a golden frame decorated with florals and cryptic imagery. I stepped into the swirling silver world of vertigo.

“Shut the hell up!”

My face slammed into a solid wall cutting off my yelp.

“What the fuck?” I asked, feeling the cold wall with my hands. I pushed against it but it held firm, keeping me trapped in the blinding, swirling realm somewhere between the Goddess’ home and wherever the hell this was.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“Look at this Frank, we have a visitor.”

My mouth dropped open. I recognized the naked curvy woman standing in front of me with feathers and beads braided into her sheet of golden hair. Her purple eyes glittered with mischief over her freckled nose.

The flapping of wings signaled Frank’s arrival. He landed heavily on the witch's shoulder, tilting his black feathered head at me and screeching.

“Am… am I back?” I asked.

Cassie beamed in my direction. “Don’t be silly. The Goddess has chosen you, she will not let you go without her blessing.”

“What are you talking about?”

Cassie giggled and turned away from me. I swore under my breath and looked away. Her backside was almost as mesmerizing as her front without the benefit of a pair of eyes to focus on. She stepped up close to the bubbling cauldron hanging over the fire, gingerly stirring something inside it.

“Can’t you let me out of here?” I bellowed, banging on the glass again.

“Stop that, if you break it I’ll tan your hide. Ar’gentis mirrors cost a fortune and are very fragile.”

“Stop talking bullshit, would you? I need help. Please.” I hated the sound of begging in my own voice.

“Well, since you said please,” she said, turning to face me.

I swallowed, keeping my eyes firmly above the neck. I might not be in the real world but somehow I didn’t think that would stop her from murdering me if my eyes lingered too long where they shouldn’t.

“You know, I’m a little bit disappointed in you and your crew,” she continued. “I would have thought you would have returned with my ingredients by now. Frank has been getting more and more upset about being left behind.”

“We didn’t leave him behind,” I snapped. “He wanted to stay.”

“Not for this long, I assure you. There is only so much rabbit flesh I can feed the rascal to keep him out of my hair.”

“None of this is helpful. We aren’t strong enough to collect your ingredients. That’s the only reason we haven’t come back. Well, that and I’m trapped here and not there. See how that’s kind of an issue?”

“Lie to yourself all you want, it makes no difference to me.” She waltzed over to a chair and sat in it crossing her legs as Frank beat his wings on her shoulder. “Now, how would you like me to help you when you’re so far away?”

The silver swirl of the portal was beginning to roar as it yanked me from side to side. I ground my teeth and pounded harder on the glass. I didn’t care if it broke. I wanted out. I wanted to return to the real world. Fuck the Goddess and her Chosen One bullshit. I didn’t want any part of it.

Cassie frowned and flicked her fingers at me. My hands began to burn. I yelped, yanking them away. My face slammed against the wall again.

“What the hell?”

“I told you not to break it. Now, answer my question. What do you expect me to do?”

“I need a weapon. Or a recipe or spell. Something to help me survive this crap. The Goddess is trying to kill me.”

“No, she’s trying to find her next disciple. It is a worthy goal for a primordial like her. You would do well to respect her. That will help you survive,” Cassie said.

“How can I respect her when I don’t even know who she is?” I snapped.

“She is Tenebrae, the Goddess of Thieves. Sister to Melumek. I’m sure she has many other names but that is how I know her. She adores humans. We embody everything she holds dear. To be blessed by her is a true gift.”

“Yeah. Right. Doesn’t help me much does it?”

“I am a simple witch. Plants and animals are my joy in life. Neither of which can help you right now.”

“Shut the hell up!”

Both of us fell quiet as Frank took to the air, screeching and shouting at us as he flew in tight circles around the small cabin.

“Frank,” I said loudly so he would hear me. “You are making my ears bleed.”

Frank landed on the edge of the mirror, flapping his wings wildly to keep himself upright. I frowned, poking at a long black talon. I expected my hand to smack into a wall again but not this time. This time, I could feel the ridged side of the sharp thick claw.

“Frank?”

The bird screeched again and lunged forward, throwing himself through the mirror until he slammed into my face. I yelped, his claws and beak digging into my skin. I reached up yanking him free and forcefully depositing him on my shoulder. I flinched, his talons were digging into my shoulder but at least it wasn’t my face.

Cassie stood slowly, her purple eyes opened wide. “This is… unexpected. Frank, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Shut the hell up!”

“Frank, don’t be so damn rude,” I snapped, bopping him on the head with a finger.

Frank ruffled his feathers and hoped from foot to foot, pecking gently at my ear. I say gently only because he didn’t tear the thing off. It still hurt like hell.

“Don’t scold him too harshly,” Cassie said. “He has been very distressed.”

She sighed and wandered back to her small fire, lifting the ladle and taking a sip of the purple liquid. She smacked her lips and closed her eyes, leaning her head back just enough that her long hair brushed her perfectly round and ever so slightly flushed cheeks.

“I still need help.”

She turned to me, lifting a pale brow. “What more can I give? You already have my most valued treasure. Take good care of him.”

“Frank is not a treasure. He is a noisy pain in the ass. The Ca’Vagiri will slaughter me in a second if he screams. Which he will.”

“Don’t let them,” she said, moving toward her pillow-strewn bed. “You are in charge, not them.”

“It’s not that simple! Please, I need something to fight them with.”

“You are a thief, not a warrior,” she said, rolling away from me. “Now go away, I am very tired.”

“Cassie…”

“Good night.”

The mirror went dark as the swirling silver miasma grasped me and yanked me back. Frank screeched in my ear, clamping his claws tighter into my shoulder. The mirrors threw me out onto the hard hot ground. The sound of shattering glass filled the room. I yelped and threw my arms up to protect myself from the sharp shards.

“Shut the hell up!”

The sound of thudding footsteps and the painful hum signaled the arrival of every Ca’Vagiri in the room. I looked up, my heart thundering in my chest as I looked at the monsters coming to murder me. I tried to suck in a breath but my chest felt tight. Constricted like something heavy was pressing down on my ribs.

Yep. I was fucked.