My body hit the wall hard as the enormous pustulous body of the creature bounded past me in the tight confines of the passage. I retched at the slime it left all over my body. It was green and resembled something that had shot from someone's nose. I tried to shake the gunk off as I stumbled, attempting to orientate myself to strike again.
The toad tried to turn but was hampered by the cages on either side of it. I charged, Nigel still screaming and firing little bullets of magic from his finger atop my shoulder. I sunk my blades deep into the thing's body, twisting the blades to add extra damage to my strike.
The beast squealed and hopped forward at remarkable speed. I looked up at its health bar, feeling my small moment of excitement vanish when I saw it had barely gone down at all. Even as I watched the red bar crept up again. The toad had rejuvenating magic stronger than anything I’d ever seen. I flicked my eyes up further, reading its name.
Toxic Toad Terror
An apt name for such a horrible beast.
Still stuck with its back to me the toad attacked with its prehensile tongue. The spotted, wet whip shot through the small space between the toad's head and the roof of the passage. It was so fast I didn’t have time to dodge.
The tongue slapped against my cheek. The moment it did an icon flashed up beside my health bar, one I’d seen before; a little dark green skull. I pushed the tongue away and turned to run as my stomach cramped horribly and my head spun. The tongue hadn’t done any physical damage but the poisoning effect was powerful, I could see my health draining at an alarming rate.
I found a stairwell and started to climb, not much caring where it led. The toad wouldn’t fit in here. That’s all that really mattered.
Halfway up I turned and violently expelled the sparse contents of my stomach across the wall. Nigel screamed a string of curses in my ear as he almost toppled right off my shoulder into the stream. I ignored him and the violent tugging on my hair as I crawled up the remainder of the steps.
I don’t know if the toad had made a freak appearance or if the Elders had placed him there as a security measure. Either way, I was kicking myself for letting it hit me.
Memo to self: if something has the word ‘toxic’ in its name, use your fucking bow!
No matter how I reprimanded myself though, I would have to live with my mistake. In this world, I was still a noob. I would have to remember that. Even Jacob had more experience than I did. Maybe I should respect his run, scream and cower antics more than I had in the past.
The door at the top of the stairwell was locked, leading me to believe it was not the way the other prisoners had gone. That did not fill me with confidence. I held out my free arm for Nigel to climb down as I clutched my aching stomach with the other. It was screaming bloody murder at me. It wouldn’t be long before my other end joined the party in the most disgusting way possible. I just hoped there was enough time to get out of my leathers before that happened.
Nigel did his thing and the lock popped open. I pushed open the door. As I moved to step through something violently yanked me back. I tried to scream but my chest hit the pointed edge of the steps. The air blasted from my lungs as I bounced downward. Nigel tumbled off me and bellowed something I couldn’t make out around the ringing in my ears.
I glanced back to see the toad had shoved its head into the stairwell. Its tongue was tied around my ankle, reeling me in like a fish on a hook. I grabbed my blade and with the strength that only comes when you’re about to die I sliced through the tongue.
The toad screamed as what was left of the elongated muscle snapped back into its mouth. My downward descent stopped abruptly as the beast hopped away. I groaned and let my head drop back as I focused on breathing.
Before the Crocs came there was only one time I could remember being winded; I’d been twelve years old and had tried to jump from a platform to the monkey bars across from it. My hands had slipped and I’d ended up flat on my back looking up at the brightly colored bars that had betrayed me. Now, I’d been winded so many times I had lost count.
When the air began to return I began the arduous climb back up the stairs. Nigel was standing up there, impatiently tapping his tiny botted foot as he glowered down at me.
“Would you hurry up, the dungeon stink.”
“Suck… my… dick…” I managed between desperate sucks of air.
The gnome turned and jabbed a thumb at his rear. “Kiss my ass and I’ll think about it.”
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Was it the poisoning or the crude comment that was making my stomach roil? I grabbed Nigel despite his howling outrage and shakily climbed to my feet, depositing the gnome in his proper place on my shoulder. He grabbed at my hair to steady himself and hissed obscenities at me.
I ignored him, pushing through the doorway out into the long hallway in the belly of the main hall. Thankfully, there was no one around. I stumbled about as the icon slowly faded, leaving me with a small amount of health.
I opened every door I came across but none of them lead to anywhere but dusty cobweb-filled storage rooms. Not exactly helpful when I needed to get to the forest. I didn’t bother opening my minimap, it was as useless as tits on a bull when I was inside anything; be it a building or a cave.
“Do you know the way out?” I asked.
“How the fuck would I know? You, humans, build fucking rabbit warrens with your stone and hard mud.”
Couldn’t fault him on that one. It was very much the truth. I found more stairs and climbed them. This time, I was lucky. The first door I opened on the new floor led out into a small walled-off garden. The breath of fresh, crisp nighttime air was a balm to my battered and bruised soul.
I clamped Nigel to me with a hand and Shadow Rushed the pair of us to the top of the wall. Coming out of the rush was a little harder this time, no doubt because my body was so broken. I needed time to heal and recover my health but there was no point until we were safely away from this place.
I eyed the nearest building. I could make it. I Shadow Rushed again. My feet hit a little harder on the roof than I would have liked, letting loose a resounding bang. I flinched, waiting for someone to raise the alarm but the world remained blissfully silent.
And that’s how our journey continued. I rushed and hid and crept and dodged all the way to the towering wall that surrounded Oliver’s Rest. The closer we got to the wall, the more guards we had to avoid.
Then we got to the difficult part. I had to get through the gates, and across the forest of spiked posts on the other side of it, without anyone realizing I was the escaped dead prisoner that should be warming Gregory’s guts right now.
I know what you’re thinking. ‘Just Shadow Rush across it Joe, stop wasting time’. Yeah well, that’s all good and well to say but unless you want to reach through your screen and hand me some spare magicka it ain’t going to happen. I’d drained that blue bar dry.
“Got any ideas?” I asked my passenger.
The gnome crawled onto my head, he made for a heavy and awkward hat, and said, “just get us down there and I’ll hide you. When I cast the spell, run like your life depends on it.”
I was too tired and sore to argue so instead I just swung over the side of the building I was crouching atop of and shimmed down to the ground. I faced the open gate with its legion of guards and waited. Nigel muttered a string of words I didn’t understand and suddenly I felt much… lighter? I don’t know how else to describe it. I lifted my hand, my heart rate climbing as I looked right through the almost completely transparent appendage.
“Run you fool!”
I did as he said, running as fast as my ghost-like feet would carry me. We’d reached the far end of the forest of spikes before Nigel swore and dropped back down to my shoulder, panting like he’d just run a marathon.
I heard shouts behind me but I didn’t stick around to listen to them as I bolted into the forest. I heard the whizz of an arrow but whoever shot the thing had no business aiming a bow. Seriously, they could have joined the ranks of the Stormtroopers with an aim like that.
I opened my minimap and focused on the area where I knew the stone pillar was. I’d passed the thing so many times on my many scouting missions that it was practically a landmark by now. It took a good two hours of walking with the occasional spurts of jogging to get there.
The grey gloom of predawn settled over the world as I pushed into the clearing. Nigel hissed and leaped from my shoulder running back into the safety of the shrubs.
“Joe, you finally made it!”
Nora hit me like a ton of bricks sending me toppling back onto the hard ground.
“Geez, you trying to kill me, woman?” I barked through the wave of pain.
“We’ve been waiting for two days! We all thought you’d actually carked it in the pit.”
“I’m pretty sure I did. Just for a little while though.”
She stood, pulling me to my feet as she did. The others crowded around me, Stella pushing through all of them to try and lick my face. Questions and acclamations flew from too many mouths, turning into little more than an incoherent buzz until they all finally calmed the fuck down.
Theo stepped forward, his face bland and emotionless again. He’d been a lot happier and free the night we had arrived in Oliver’s Rest for the first time. I couldn’t tell if it had all been an act or if he’d somehow lost that fun jovial side of himself somewhere along the way.
“Where’s Nigel the Sentinel?” he asked.
Miranda’s scream stopped the answer from passing my lips.
“What the hell is that!”
I blinked, turning to face her. She was as white as a sheet, her finger shaking as she pointed at my ankle. I frowned and dropped my gaze, my stomach rebelling when I saw what she was pointing at.
The toad's cut-off tongue was still wrapped tight around the joint, the end of it sending droplets of green gunk flying as it flailed about on its own. I blanched and looked behind me at the clear trail I’d left in my hastened wake.
I grabbed a large leaf from the ground and used it to detach the chunk of tongue without touching the thing. I almost tossed it in the bushes but something held me back. Instead, to the disgusted shrieks of my companions, I shoved it into my bum bag.
“Nigel,” I called. “Get your ass out here. We have to move before they find us.”
The leaves of the shrubbery shook as the gnome stepped from the shadows into the light of the small cookfire. I hard and awkward silence followed his appearance as my companions looked him over.
“We are so screwed,” Jacob muttered.