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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 209 – The Fire Burns

Chapter 209 – The Fire Burns

Come on Sweetheart, you’ve had a long enough nap. It’s time to rise and shine.

I ignored the persistent voice battering me from inside my mind. It was an easy enough thing to do. I’d spent half a lifetime learning to draw into myself and ignore anything else. It was maybe the reason I was still here when Rory was not. I had tried to tell him. Maybe I hadn’t tried hard enough. That was the bad side of only relying on yourself; you kind of forgot how to communicate well.

“This is his own fault. If he had only focused instead of flailing about…”

That voice sounded angry. No, not angry. More like frustrated. It wasn’t my problem, so I pushed it aside like the other voice.

The scent of crushed damp grass filled my nose soothing any of the discomforts the voices had filled me with. There was something about the delicately earthy smell that just whisked away all the bad things. It was why mowing grass for spare change had been such an easy pastime. Well, the soothing scents and the fact it allowed me to avoid home until nighttime fell. It was easy enough to lie about the money I made too. All I had to do was hide the extra in the hollow of the old tree down the road. Risky maybe, but not as foolhardy as walking in the house with the golden coins and folded notes tucked in my pockets. She and whatever beau she was currently entertaining always searched there first.

Oh dear, I’m starting to see why you are the way you are.

No. I wouldn’t listen. There was only pain and endless drama on that side. This side with the sweet smell of grass and maybe a little mud was a lot better. Here it was quiet. Here it was safe.

In the end, it wasn’t the voices that dragged me from my wonderous slumber. It was a very wet force that slapped over and over across my face until it almost felt like I was drowning. I coughed and spluttered as I shot upright, wiping desperately at my eyes to rid them of the thick, pungent slobber. A new force, much stronger than before slammed into me, pressing me back to the ground.

My eyes flew open and looked into her soft brown ones. “Stella!”

My arms flew around her, digging deep into her thick short fur. Her tail pounded the ground behind her as she tried to wiggle into a position that allowed her to continue lapping at my face. My many years of practice kept her at bay even with her much greater size.

“I missed you too, girl,” I said, burying my face into her neck. Even though she was in desperate need of a bath her smell was so familiar it was almost as intoxicating as the crushed grass. “Remind me never to do that again.”

“Shut the hell up!”

“Oh, wonderful. Here I was being all sweet and gentle and it’s the damn dog that wakes him up,” Kendrick muttered in a huff.

“They have a strong bond,” the Witch of Evermore said.

“That’s because Stella is such a good girl,” Nora said.

Stella’s body shook beneath my grip and I knew it was because Nora was petting her. I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. All this noise immediately after waking was almost painful. I hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet. Damn. I missed coffee.

“Here,” Cassie said, forcing a warm cup into one of my hands. “Drink this. It will make you feel better.”

I released my hold of Stella and smiled as she rolled onto her back in front of me. I kept my eyes focused solely on her as I stabilized the large mug with my other hand and brought it to my lips. After the last concoction the witch had me drink had ended so horribly you’d think I would have a little more caution about drinking another. Turns out, that’s not the case. The warm liquid was rich and full-bodied with the sweetness of honey and the crisp scent of lemon. I could feel it sliding down my throat where it settled in my belly, chasing away the pains that bothered me and clearing the fog from my brain.

I know this might be blasphemous, but it was better than coffee.

“What is this?” I asked, finally managing to shift my gaze to the red-haired witch standing over me. In my new relaxed state (or maybe just from past experience) I wasn’t even surprised that she was practically naked.

“Do you like it? It’s a little something I purchased from Red. Isn’t it wonderful? He called it ‘tea’. It’s just loose dried leaves you brew in hot water. Add a little honey, lemon, and a touch of magic and it’s a spectacular potion.”

I tried not to snort into my mug at the thought of the witch discovering tea for the first time. It was such a simple thing it was hard to believe it didn’t exist in any of the other worlds she had been to. Other worlds. Now that was still something my brain didn’t quite comprehend. It sounded so bizarre even after all the fantastical bullshit I’d been through already.

The idea of infusing magic into the tea had my eyes flicking to my status bars in curiosity. Sure enough, both my health (which was somehow dangerously low) and my magicka were refilling at a faster pace than normal. Much faster actually. All from a cup of tea favored by people with a sore throat and stuffy nose. Fascinating.

“What happened?” I asked the moment the last of the tea passed my lips.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Cassie’s exuberance vanished in an instant, replaced by the frustration I had sensed from her earlier. “You didn’t focus. If you had let my magic work without worrying about who knows what you would have woken hours ago like Nora and Gabby did. Really Joe, it’s like you try to make everything more difficult for yourself.”

“Ease up. It’s not like I was out at the pub having a pint. I did what you said. Magic hand-holding circle. Pump my magicka into fake Kendrick. Isn’t that enough?”

“No,” she said firmly.

I shifted uncomfortably in my spot in the dirt before pushing to my feet and stretching my aching muscles. The swift upward movement made me dizzy for a moment but it passed fast enough. The small clearing outside Cassie’s homely little cottage was beyond crowded. Gabby was sitting with Theo by the cottage door, engrossed in whatever conversation they were having. Stella was still sprawled at my feet, accepting an outrageous amount of sweet words and pets from Nora. Boopzy was wrapped tight around the warrior woman’s throat as he snuggled against her face. She didn’t seem to mind, even leaning into the creature’s rough embrace as she continued to stroke Stella. Frank was sitting above me, nestled on a branch that escaped the confines of the swamp and reached out into the open space. Cassie stood beside me; her glorious chest flushed from the heat of the midday sun. Kendrick stood right behind her; his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me. I blinked, staring back at the man maybe a little more than was strictly necessary. It was odd seeing him as a person again. Strange how quickly I’d grown accustomed to his shadowy featureless form.

Seeing Kendrick reminded me of something else. I stuck out my wrist turning it one way and then the other. No matter how I turned it no golden rope appeared. I was free from the odd bond that trapped us together. I sighed as the wave of relief took hold, almost as soothing to my battered soul as the tea had been.

There was only one person, if you could call him that, missing, so where was…

The blast of lightning shooting up my spine from my backside told me right where he was. I yelped and jumped, my muscles convulsing violently as the electricity shot through every nerve of my body. The mug Cassie had given me shot from my hand, hitting the ground hard enough to shatter.

“Sob!” I roared, whirling about to face the enormous black horse. Neon blue flames shone brightly in place of his mane, tail, and the feathers around his hooves. The horse’s head was turned to the side as one large eye stared at me. I could have sworn there was a twinkle of laughter deep in that glistening orb. “Why do you always do that?”

There was no response from the horse, but the game did it for him.

Skill Upgraded: Magic Resistance (III)

What is it with you? Do you like being struck with magic or something? I don’t normally judge but come on. This is getting a little weird.

Effects: Passive. Magic spells are now 10% less effective.

I glared at the floating golden words as they danced in front of my face. The game sure liked to pretend that this crap was entirely in my control. Sure, blame the victim not the damn horse with a rotten sense of humor.

“So,” Cassie said, breaking the odd silence that followed my outburst. “I see you succeeded in freeing this world from the Crocs. At least for a short time.”

I scrubbed my hand over my head. “Yeah. They made it sound like coming back would be a long time coming but I don’t know how truthful that all was.”

Cassie waved her hand at me and waltzed away to stir at the cauldron she had roasting over the fire. This one was much smaller than her standard one and propped up on some sort of metal contraption. Without looking my way she said, “They will be back. It is written in the threads of time. That doesn’t really change much in the grand scheme of things, though. At least now you can focus, truly focus, on finding Nigel the Sentinel and freeing the world entirely.”

Kendrick let out a loud huff and stepped between us, “Don’t get cocky. Many people have been right where you are, in one way or another only to fumble the ball right before the goal. There is more out there standing in your way than just the Crocs.”

“Thank you. I feel so warm and fuzzy,” I snapped, glaring at the downer of a man.

“It’s not about ‘warm and fuzzy’, it’s about being alive. I have a newfound interest in keeping you that way,” Kendrick said.

“Oh, and what’s that? Grown to care for me that much while we were over there?” I asked.

Kendrick pinched the bridge of his nose with enough force to discolor the skin around his grip. “Look with more than your eyes you fool.”

Oh. Right. I focused on my Enhanced Shadow Eye and sure enough, that golden rope was right back in place. Why it took the skill to see it now when in the other world it was plain as day I don’t know. I had been wrong before; we were still bound together.

“Shut the hell up!”

Frank’s sudden scream made me jump. The raven spread his wings and swooped right by my face, the tips of his feathers smacking my cheek as he spiraled and landed on Cassie’s shoulder, angrily pecking at her cheek. Cassie cried out, stumbling back from the fire as she swatted at the bird.

“Frank!” I bellowed, rushing forward. “Get off of her.”

The bird screamed and shot into the sky as I cradled Cassie in my arms trying to get a proper look at her bloodied face. Before I could do that though the flames of her campfire turned into an inferno, the licking tongues reaching high into the air as the once white smoke turned black.

A chuckle filled the clearing as a shadow appeared amongst the flames followed by a high black boot stepping out onto the damp grass. The grass hissed beneath the boot as steam rushed around the heavy leather. A pair of glowing red eyes appeared beneath a heavy black hood with hair the same color peeking out around his chin. The scars crisscrossing his face were difficult to see in the shadows but having seen them once before, it was hard not to see them now.

“I have to thank you, little rat,” Orion said. “Thanks to you, there is only one seal left to break.”

Fear descended on me like a crushing force. I reached for my blade and Blinked, but it was too late. The flames behind Orion turned purple and an army of skeletons with eyes aglow rushed out. Nora let out her war cry and swung Gertrude with all her might. Stella was on her feet, her body glowing as she prepared her bash attack.

There were too many of them. The army of the undead had us pinned. The warriors shattered so many of them but more just appeared in their place. Finally, when all of us were disarmed and held in place, Miranda stepped from the fire, her skull-topped scepter held tight in her hand as her eyes swept the clearing until they landed on me.

And then, she smiled. A cruel, wicked smile that had my heart dropping and my throat clamping tight.