As soon as his blade dropped from my throat, I ran. The pain in my leg felt like a distance annoyance as my pulse raced, sending wild energy coursing through my veins.

Behind me, I could hear the hounds barking but I didn’t dare turn. It wasn’t fair that Vincent got to have his pets when mine had to be left behind. I notched an arrow and wildly fired it behind me, not much caring what I hit so long as the explosion gave me cover.

The boom shook the ground and sent a cloud of small stones and dirt hurtling into the back of my head. I dodged sideways and leaped over the porch rail in front of me. I tried the door but it was locked with no option to pick it. I threw myself behind an enormous bush and notched another arrow.

Vincent marched through the cloud, rage dancing in his eyes as he searched for me. His hounds followed along behind him, their mishappen noses snuffling the air.

My lungs were screaming for air but I sucked in only small breaths, determined not to give myself away with a sound. Not this time. I had to be smart with this. My arrows were running low. I only had one acid flask left. And the sleeping drafts weren’t any good to me without a way to shove them down these monsters’ throats.

Vincent might look like a man. But there was no doubt in my mind that he was still a monster. Even after the acid burns his health was still crazy high. Too bad there was no way to switch up the difficulty in this game.

Be smart Joe. There’s a way to win. Find it!

“Come out, come out wherever you are,” Vincent sang. “You can’t hide forever.”

I shot my arrow directly at the asshole's chest but all he did was weave around it like it wasn’t flying at incredible speed. The arrow whizzed past him and struck a barrel on the far side of the clearing. With a roar and towering flames, the thing set alight, pumping thick black smoke into the air.

“Too slow, Princess. I thought thieves were supposed to be fast.”

The man took a step and flashed across the distance until he was standing right in front of me. I yelped and rolled, just barely missing being torn in two by the bastard’s blades. One of the hounds wrapped its teeth around my arm. I bellowed and dug my hand into my bum bag as I fought the creature. Blood dribbled from its mouth as I shattered a flask against its teeth.

The dog yelped and let go shaking its head. I took off running, feeling the sharp pinch of a blade nipping at my butt. I snatched an arrow and pulled the string back. I spun and fired. The arrow flew right down the throat of the second hound directly behind me. The boom was deafening. Scraps of rotting flesh and congealed blood coated me from head to toe. I gagged and spat, trying not to waste time vomiting out the vile gunk that had coated my poor tongue.

The hound's head, mostly whole, fell at my feet. Its jaws still flexing as though it was trying to bite me still. The first hound collapsed where I’d left it, the sleeping draught finally taking effect. I turned to run some more but Vincent blocked my way.

The stinging bite of his blade bit into my side as he lashed out. I screamed and stumbled back. My hand instantly bloodied as I pressed it to the gaping wound. My health dropped to a third full with that one solid hit.

Vincent grinned and stepped slowly after me. “Are you ready to admit defeat, Princess?”

“You’ll have to kill me before I admit that,” I said through gritted teeth.

“That works for me,” he said. “Stand and take it like a man.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

I threw my final acid flask at him. His blades flashed forward and shattered the thing before it struck his face. The acid splashed, burning everywhere a drop fell on him. He howled and beat at the areas. I fired my second last arrow and leaped behind the fountain. The explosion was too close. My ears screamed. The shockwave rattled my teeth.

Vincent's health dropped. Not enough. It was never enough. What was I supposed to do now? I had one arrow and some sleeping draught. Unless Vincent decided to bite my arm I was screwed.

I edged around the fountain, stepping over one of the odd-looking traps. Now that I knew what to look for the painful things were obvious. Vincent was where I’d left him, doubled over and coughing up blood. I aimed my final arrow at him and fired.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

The man spun in a wild circle with his blades outstretched just as Nora had. The arrow exploded sending the man stumbling back. His health dropped below half. I almost shouted my joy at that one. One of his blades dropped to the ground. I rushed forward, snatching it up and backing off, keeping my eyes locked on the bastard.

New Item Received: Silver short sword of thieving

Description: An intricately crafted blade of silver imbued with talents from the dirt of the earth.

Effects: Backstab does 10% extra damage. 2 available upgrade slots.

Attack power: 147

I smiled. Now, this felt more like my kind of weapon.

“Still think I’m a Princess, jackass?”

Vincent straightened, turning to face me as he wiped the blood from his lips. His face was pockmarked with small wounds and his hands beneath the scraps of his leather were an angry red. He smiled, his white teeth stained by the blood still pooling there.

“I like my prey feisty. It makes the victories all that much sweeter,” he said.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, you know,” I said, trying to fill my words with a sweetness I did not feel. “Neither of us has to die.”

“Now, now. Where’s the fun in that?”

I smiled wickedly. Confidence was hard to come by but there was a saying that seemed appropriate for this situation, what was it, fake it until you make it? Yeah, that's the one.

A fluttering of wings drew my attention. I glanced sideways, spotting two fat hens pecking at the ground by the porch of a house across the clearing. Vincent took advantage of my distraction, flashing forward and striking out. I snarled and lifted my blade. The clash of metal rang out around us.

Vincent pressed his face close to mine. So close I could smell the rotten stench of his breath. “Ready to kiss my cold steel, Princess?”

“Kiss my ass!”

I tensed the muscles in my shoulder, throwing him back a step. I charged and feinted to the left, dodging to the right as his arm swung out. I shoved the blade as hard as I could into his stomach, grunting as the strike jarred my arm.

Vincent roared and stumbled away, clutching at his side. I lunged forward and swung my arm but this time he met the strike with one of his own. My teeth rattled in my head. My damp hands slipped and the blade tumbled from my grip, tossed across the clearing by the strength of his hit.

I dodged around him. Hissing as his blade bit into my shoulder. My health bar shrunk to a dangerous level. One more hit and I’d be dead.

Nora would kill me if I died. I know that doesn’t sound like much of a threat but that woman had the balls to rip my ass from the underworld just to kill me all over again.

I raced for the sword but Vincent flashed past me, his form blurred by the smoke his fast moves seemed to draw out of him. Who knew blowing smoke out of your ass was an actual thing? The man snatched up the blade and turned to face me, his mangled face lit by a horrifying grin.

My feet slid on the hard ground as I changed direction, charging across the clearing away from him. He followed. I could feel him right behind me. The chickens ahead lifted their heads, beating their useless wings and puffing up their feathers. Their screeches muffled Vincent’s laughter.

Vincent's hand tangled in my shirt as he grabbed me and shoved me to the ground. I roared as his knee settled at the small of my back, holding me in place. Cold metal bit into my neck as he grabbed my hair and lifted my head.

“Bye, bye Princess.”

“Slash him, girls!” I cried.

The hens, which for some reason hadn’t bolted, screeched and threw themselves at Vincent. Slashing his face with their wicked talons and digging their beaks into his soft flesh. Vincent roared and tumbled back against their assault.

A notification flashed up in front of me, but I didn’t bother to read it. I snatched up his fallen blade and spun, driving it into the man's chest until it wouldn’t go in any further.

Vincent’s health bar flashed as blood bubbled from his lips. “Well played, Princess,” he managed before his eyes closed and the last of the air in his lungs wheezed out.

He lay there, bloodied and mangled. The chickens took off, running in wild movements away from me.

“Thank you,” I shouted after them.

Vincent glowed gold as I placed a foot on his corpse and yanked the blade free. Words flew in front of my face as I stood there shaking and gasping for air.

Quest complete: Drunk with Power

Reward: 5,000 gold, 2,000 exp points, simple trap schematic, simple poison recipe.

Level 6!

I looted his corpse, hooting my victory like an idiot at the leather armor and the pair of shortswords now filling my inventory.

New Item: Leather armor

Armor: 198

I hurriedly put the leather armor on. Admiring how it looked with my green gloves and boots and the bright pink bum bag I still sported. Best of all, the armor came with two attached scabbards over my shoulders. Perfect for sliding my new blades into.

I preened like a peacock as I half strutted, half limped away.