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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 6 – My Fiery Salvation

Chapter 6 – My Fiery Salvation

It’s hard to believe two monstrous crocs from another world could plan a trap like this. Did regular earth crocodiles even hunt in packs? I don’t know, that’s one episode of Animal Planet I hadn’t had a chance to watch.

I dropped onto the tracks, yelping as my foot bent unnaturally. I punched the ground, forcing myself back up. There was no time for pain. Not with the mountains of teeth and claws right on my ass. My hand flew to my belt but all that met my fingers was the old leather band. I’d lost my whip. I must have dropped it somewhere at the station. Fuck.

The crocs followed me, the pounding of their feet making the ground shake. They boxed me into the deep divot that housed the tracks. Double fuck.

I’d like to say I stood there stoically, taking my impending death with a bit of grace. That’s not what happened though. I was a blubbering mess. Snot bubbles and all. I was trapped like a mouse with no weapon and no way out.

I bloodied my fingers on the high wall beside me trying to claw my way out. One of the crocs leaped at me. My arms shot up to protect my face. A loud snarl sounded over the hissing of the croc. Stella charged from who knows where hurtling into the croc and clamping her teeth around the beast's neck. The croc stumbled under her assault, slamming its head into the wall.

Golden words flashed up like they seemed to like to do.

Critical hit!

The croc’s health bar dropped by a third but even with that impressive strike, it wasn’t enough. The croc’s pebbled skin was tough. Too tough for Stella’s teeth. I started to run toward her, determined to throw myself over her if that’s what it took.

The second croc slammed into me. My lungs screamed as all the air was forced out of them. Little black spots danced in front of my eyes but even through the fog, I could see my health dwindling. The croc dug its claws into my arm. I tried to scream but without air, no sound came out. My vision was all but a pinprick now. Just a tiny spot. Red veins danced around the spot, throbbing with each new wave of pain.

“Stella,” I croaked. “Run.”

Shapes warped and shifted in the spot of light. I waited for the killing blow of pain that would come with it. All I got was a loud boom and a blinding flash of blue light. The ground shook below me. I gasped for air. There was a second flash of bright blue and some of my pain vanished. Enough that I could draw in a full breath.

I blinked as my vision returned. Sob stood over me. The croc that had attacked me was on the ground beside me, charred so badly he looked almost as dark as Sob. The croc moved and I yelped, scrabbling away from the thing.

Sob trumpeted and reared, lashing out with his hooves. There was a horrible crunch and my stomach churned at the enormous dent that appeared in the beast's skull. I retched but nothing came out. The croc's health bar flashed then disappeared and the croc's body began to glow a soft golden hue.

“Stella,” I said. “We have to find Stella.”

I stumbled past the fallen croc. Stella was still grappling with the other croc. Attacking and retreating with a skill I didn’t know she had. The crocs health bar only had a quarter left, I couldn’t believe she’d managed to do so much damage. Stella latched on to the croc's ankle. My lips parted as I watched the monster's health bar drop even lower. She was winning!

The croc roared and grabbed Stella by the throat, lifting her off her paws and slamming her into the ground. She yelped and lay still.

“No!”

The croc turned at the sound of my shout. It roared and charged toward us. The horse whinnied and reared, kicking out again. The croc faltered for a moment but then continued. My eyes were locked on Stella. She wasn’t moving.

Red hot fury flooded through me. I bent and scooped up a large chunk of rock and hurled it at the croc with all my strength. It hit the monster in the eye, dragging a pained hiss from its scaled lips. A red number sixty-eight flashed up. The rock had done more damage than my old whip would have. That didn’t seem right somehow. These game mechanics were bullshit.

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Sob raced past me. I froze, my eyes widening in horror as a blue bolt of lightning shot from the horse's mouth, like fire from a dragon's maw. The croc roared as it convulsed, its arms outstretched, and long snout pointed at the sky. The croc dropped, as blackened as its brother behind me.

The crocs health bar was flashing but still there. I bent and snatched up another rock. Charging at the monster. I skidded to a halt and slammed the rock into the bastard's head. Then, again. And one more time.

Finally, the health bar vanished, and just like before the croc began to glow.

I dropped the bloody rock on top of the monster and bolted toward Stella. She lay on the ground right where the croc had dropped her. I fell to the ground and pulled her into my arms. She whined; her wet brown eyes only semi-focused on me.

“It’s alright girl, I’m here. Sob, come here. Do the thing, please.”

Sob walked up and snuffled Stella but there was no blue flash. I’m not ashamed to admit my eyes were a little wet as well as I begged the horse to help. Sob walked away and I dropped my head onto Stella’s warm neck, rocking her back and forth.

Why were there no health potions in this place? They were a common thing in games, right? It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t.

A loud bang had my head flying back up. Sob had kicked the crumbling cement wall revealing two of those strange neon blue fruits. The horse started eating.

“Stella is dying and you’re stuffing your face! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shouted.

Sob’s ears flicked toward me, but he was otherwise unaffected by my pained shout. I yanked off the remaining scraps of my shirt, trying hard not to jostle Stella too much, and pressed them against her worst wound.

“Don’t leave me, girl, not now.”

She whined more quietly this time. Her health bar was flashing, just like the crocs did before they died. Sob marched over to us, his hooves clopping loudly on the hard ground. His tail whipped from side to side as he snorted and lowered his head, snuffling at Stella again with blue goop around his muzzle. I wanted to tell him to fuck off. To leave us alone. But I was busy trying not to actually sob.

The blinding blue light hit me like a ton of bricks. I yelped, tightening my grip on Stella. I blinked, trying to banish the whiteness that was blinding me. My head spun. Something wet slapped against the side of my face. I panicked, my free hand shooting to the damp spot. It was gross and slimy.

A happy bark filled my ears and the wet thing slid over my hand, then my nose, then my mouth. I gagged, pushing away the furry head that was assaulting my face and dragging my arm over my violated mouth.

“Calm down, Stella.”

The dog barked again, wiggling from my grip, and bounding around me. I wobbled in the slowly receding whiteness, holding my arms out to feel my way around. Red and black spots were floating through the sheet of white snow. In a few more minutes my sight came back. Thank fuck for that.

I stroked Stella’s head. I could see that her health was almost half full again. Sob made an odd noise, and I looked over at him. The horse lowered himself to the ground and closed his eyes. His health was full, I could see that just from looking at him, but he was outrageously tired. I shuffled over to him, yanking out a bunch of dried grass as I went. Without the silly horse, we’d be long dead.

I dragged the grass over his coat, cleaning off as much sweat and grime as I could without the proper tools. If I’d had some oats or some sugar cubes, I would have given them to him. I might not like the asshole very much, but he deserved one hell of a treat right now.

A loud chime reverberated around us, loud enough to make my ears hurt. I frowned, turning back to the station and the towering pillar of swirling purple fire. It was sparking now. Lightning was shooting from it in every direction.

I glanced at my watch. We were out of time.

“Wake up, Sob! We have to run, now!”

The horse shuddered and grumbled but climbed to his feet. Glaring at me like it was somehow my fault that the world was ending.

“Come on,” I bellowed. “We have to hurry.”

All three of us ran. Sob and Stella could outrun me in a heartbeat, but we all ran together. One for all and all for one and all that. We had to make it. I don’t know what would happen if we missed the transfer window but the dread that filled me was enough to light a fire under my ass.

Sob snorted and shook his head, forcing his body in front of me. I didn’t even stop to think, I just threw myself up, clambering onto his back, thankfully not crushing my balls this time. Stella barked and Sob started running at full speed. He really would have made a very good racehorse. We rounded the building as the lightning intensified.

I grabbed Sob’s mane and yelled, “come on, boy. We can make it!”

He let out a triumphant trumpet and leaped for the pillar. Stella barked and followed right on his heels.

The pillar screeched and flared then vanished. Right as we flew through the space it had been. Sob skidded to a halt. Stella trotted beside us.

A tightness clamped my chest. We were too late. We’d missed our chance at fiery salvation.

Fuck.