It was much easier for Miranda to possess the dead rat this time. I caught her lifeless body as she slumped to the ground. The rat jumped up, its eyes blazing with her pink magic. I gently lowered Miranda to the floor in a safe corner. Stella whined and curled up beside her.

I turned to the rat and said, “Go see what you can find out. Don’t get caught though, I don’t know what will happen if the rat gets killed a second time. Kinda don’t want to know the answer to that question.”

The rat squeaked loudly and tilted its head at me. I shifted awkwardly.

“Please go. I don’t like talking to you when you’re a rat. It feels very one-sided.”

Miranda dashed toward the door and then paused, looking back at me with those creepy eyes. I sighed and stamped over opening the door a crack for her. She squeaked and disappeared.

And thus began my hellish torment of pure boredom. For hours I wandered around the room doing absolutely nothing. Stella dozed. I tried that but somehow the cold stone floor didn’t quite get me there. I fiddled with my menus and did six hundred push-ups. No… I’m not lying… I swear.

Finally, she returned. At first, I didn’t notice but the sharp sting of little rat teeth digging into your ankle tends to tear you from your reveries.

“What the hell, Miranda? Keep your gross rabies-filled mouth to yourself.”

Did you know a rat can shriek indignantly? Neither did I until now. The rat's body dropped to the floor and Miranda, now back in her own body, pushed herself off the ground.

“About time, do you know how long I’ve been sitting here?” I grumbled.

She stared at me with her mouth agape for a while before snapping back, “Do you know how long I was a rat? What is wrong with you?”

“I’m bored. Tell me you found something.”

“I found something.”

I took out my notebook. I was really starting to love this thing. “Okay, go.”

“The Count is locked up in his room getting ready for the ball. I heard the guards there whining about how long he takes to get ready for anything. They don’t seem to respect him very much which is good for us, they won’t be paying much attention to the two newest guests of the ball."

I paused. “What do you mean?”

“I know where we can get costumes and masks and even spare invitations.”

“Where?”

“There is a giant office two floors down. It's beautiful, there's a desk big enough to be a bed and the entire wall is a bookcase. It even has one of those cool ladders that rolls along it. There are servants and guards everywhere but I think we can get through it if we’re sneaky enough.”

“Who’s sneakier than a thief?”

“Please, I could be wearing my flaming dress and I’d still be sneakier than you.”

“Want to make this interesting?”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“First one to the office get’s one thousand gold.”

She laughed. “I know where it is, you have no chance.”

“Is that a yes?”

“You’re on.”

“Catch me if you can.”

I stood and rushed to the door, yanked it open and Shadow Rushed to the other side of the hall. Now I just had to find some stairs. I turned left and charged down the hall. I slid to a halt when I heard people talking and ducked into a side room.

I pressed myself up against the door and waited for them to pass. I glanced around the room as I waited. It wasn’t much, just a solar with two long sofas placed around a cold fireplace. Above the fireplace was a coat of arms. The shield displayed a rampant lion wearing a crown. The two crossed swords were simple and unimpressive.

If I wasn’t in the middle of a race I might have tried to steal them. I opened the door and flashed to another shadow by a doorway. Through the doorway was the staircase I was looking for. I charged down a spiral staircase, ignoring the first door and continuing on to the next.

This floor wasn’t like the others. It was heavily crowded.

A woman rushed into the stairway and pushed past me. “Excuse me, Brother, I did not see you there.”

“You are forgiven, please carry on.”

The woman bowed to me and rushed down the stairs. I folded my hands in front of me into the sleeves of the robe I’d forgotten I was wearing. This just got a whole lot easier.

Stolen story; please report.

I walked out into the hall like I was supposed to be there. Each time someone greeted me as ‘Brother’, I gave them a curt nod before continuing.

“Excuse me,” I said stopping a young servant boy in his tracks. “Can you direct me to Count Banksia’s office?”

“Of course Brother, it is at the end of the hall on the right.”

“Thank you.”

I moved toward the room, trying not to run. I nodded at the guard standing outside the door and allowed him to open it for me before waltzing inside.

The door closed behind me and I smiled. “Winner.”

“Wrong.”

I jumped. Miranda was standing by the window with Stella at her feet. “Damn it.”

She held out her hand. “Pay up loser.”

I did before moving toward the costume rack. Everything was so gaudy. “Do we really have to wear these things?”

“Yes, hurry up and pick something. The ball starts soon.”

“You have to pick something too.”

Miranda grabbed a golden fox mask and placed it on her face as her dress morphed into a ruby-red gown. “I’m just waiting on you, slowpoke.”

I sighed. “I’m starting to wish I never gave you that robe.”

“Tick, tick, tick, tick.”

I picked out a black mask with an impressively long beak on it. I took off my robe and stuffed it in my pocket before grabbing what looked like a simple black suit.

New Item Received: Suit of Silence

Description: A simple suit spelled by a skilled crafter.

Armor: 47

Effect: When worn footsteps are muffled.

Handy. I switched into the suit. I didn’t like the severe drop in armor rating but at least I looked the part. We’d just have to avoid getting into any fights. That should keep Kendrick happy.

Done making myself pretty I ran to the desk and started shuffling through the papers there. I had to find something incriminating. Something I could leave on display so everybody would be too busy to chase after us.

I picked up the first interesting looking one and read it.

Dearest, I cannot wait to be wrapped in your arms. To feel your lips caress the delicate gap between my toes. Tonight, at midnight, meet me under the Banksia in the garden. I’ve learned a new trick that I’m sure you’ll love.

Tonight sweet Count, I’ll be waiting.

Gross. So gross. Why would someone leave that out?

“What are you doing?” Miranda said, picking up a card with gold lettering scrawled across it. “These are the invites you goose.”

“No, I need proof the Count is corrupt. Help me find it.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“This secret mission shit is really starting to get on my nerves,” she huffed. “How do you even know the guy is corrupt? Right, you can’t tell me. I swear Joe, you owe me so much for this.”

“I’m good for it. You know that.”

I picked out another and hoped it wouldn’t assault my eyes.

The crown is losing its hold on the people. Bring me the High Priest. We’ll have him bless it. I have worked too hard to control these people to lose it now.

Raise the taxes by 15% and catch me another witch to burn. We need to keep them occupied until the spell is strong again.

Signed, Count Banksia.

The note flared and disappeared.

Quest Updated: Ill-gotten Crown of Reverence

Description: Evidence of Count Banksia’s corruption has fallen into your lap. Use your new disguises to infiltrate the masked ball, steal the crown and expose the fraud.

You know, sometimes the game was a little heavy-handed on the updates. That one seemed pretty unnecessary.

“I didn’t get to read it, what did it say?” Miranda asked.

“The Count is using his crown to control everyone in the village. We have to get it away from him and set them free.”

“But, they’re NPCs, what does it matter?”

“That’s a little cold. I thought you’d be all over this.”

“I literally play with dead things. Why does my not caring about NPCs surprise you?”

“Come on. Once we do this we can get the hell out of here.”

“Good. I’m getting kind of sick of this place. Even being Janice’s bitch trumps hunger, dirty beds, and endless danger.”

“You want to go back to Oliver’s Rest?”

“Well, yeah. Isn’t that the plan?”

“I’m going back, but not to assimilate. I’m going to…”

Our conversation was cut off by a loud ruckus in the hall.

“Hurry up Eric, the ball has begun already. I need my crown,” someone bellowed.

“Hide!” I hissed.

Miranda grabbed Stella and dove behind the costume rack. I ducked under the desk, scurrying as far back as my bulk could manage. The door flew open and a pair of men stamped into the room. I wanted to look at the man I was here to steal from but I couldn’t do it without being seen.

The man rounded the desk and plonked down in the seat, pulling it forward on his tiptoes until his chubby legs were shoved in the small gap with me. I would have been more afraid if he wasn’t wearing bright green silk pants and curly-toed shoes. Seriously, what was this guy, an elf?

“Hurry up Eric. Everyone is waiting for me,” the man snapped.

“Of course m’lord. Just one moment”

“Can you believe those idiots who call themselves the Elders sent someone here?”

“Truly, they are fools,” Eric replied.

“They’re going to ask me for something, I just know it.”

“There you are m’lord, you’re all ready for the ball.”

“Perfect, now move your ass. There’s fashionably late and then there’s just being rude.”

The chubby legs moved and the pair headed for the door. I shifted and peeked over the desk to see who I was up against. The Count was not what I expected. He was barely five feet tall and very round. His hair was spiked up in a pink mohawk and he was wearing a golden tunic over his green pants.

Eric was different. He was a giant of a man with jet-black hair and a beard that touched his chest. He was wearing a purple robe tied tight at his waist by a thick leather belt. He was who I was expecting to steal from not the peacock toad man.

The door closed behind them. I crawled from my hiding place and straightened my beaked mask. I took three invitations from the desk and headed for the door, Miranda and Stella fell into step behind me. I was a little frustrated the crown had been in this room with us but there was no time to dwell on that.

It was time to go to a party.