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Outback Joe vs the Toilet Croc Invasion
Chapter 18 – Barlow Brothers Brewery

Chapter 18 – Barlow Brothers Brewery

I crouched behind an enormous boulder and stared at the silent entrance to the brewery. We were just outside Stanthorpe now and it had taken two days to reach here. The brewery sat in a pretty area just outside the town. There were signs and all sorts of tourist traps around this place like they were begging for anyone and everyone to come on it. They even had a pretty popular restaurant attached to the brewery just in case beer wasn’t enough of a temptation to visit.

Even with all that though, the place was as silent and deserted as a graveyard. It was spooky actually. I had Stella, Sob, and Frank with me, but it still felt incredibly lonely knowing there were probably no people here. Had the crocs really killed that many?

I refused to look at the counter in my inventory. I didn’t want to see just how many people had died since the crocs invasion. I didn’t need that to fuel the shadow of depression trying to overwhelm me. Just the thought of it was enough to make me want to drown in a vat of malty deliciousness.

Time to creep inside and see what the quest had in mind. Hopefully, given the vagueness of the description, all I needed to do was get drunk to complete the quest. That seemed like a pretty good plan to me.

Sob stayed outside like he was want to do as the rest of us snuck inside the building through the open restaurant door. The place was set up like it was ready for service with glassware and cutlery on all the tables but there was no one there. Not even a rotting corpse. I moved into the kitchen and looked around for some food but for some reason, it was all gone. There wasn’t even a crumb left. The place was completely clean except for a thin layer of dust over everything. Odd.

I left and went to the bar instead, ready to take a bottle of two of the good stuff. Just like the kitchen though, the place was completely cleaned out. There wasn’t a single bottle on the shelves or in the fridges. Something was really wrong here. That or someone had beaten me to it all.

Stella was sniffing at something near a large door that led off the dining area. I cautiously moved to her and eyed the spot she was sniffing at. There was a print in the dust by the door. A paw print. One that was about five times larger than Stella’s.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry, and eyed the door. Something was here. Something really big. At least it wasn’t a croc I suppose. Crocs don’t have paws.

This quest wasn’t as simple as I’d thought it would be. I drew my dagger and carefully pushed open the door, peeking around the edge at the silent hallway beyond. Did I dare go searching for the monster?

Stella walked past me, making the decision for both of us. Frank ruffled his feather and nibbled at my ear. I brushed him off and followed the dog as she trotted down the hall. She paused often to sniff at the floor and even the walls but there was nothing there that I could see.

I tried the doors that lined the hall. Most of them were locked but one opened for me; a janitor's closet. The place was filled to the brim with cleaning supplies. There was a box up on a high shelf with the word ‘lost’ scrawled on the side in thick black ink. I took it down and sorted through the stuff but aside from an old photo of an older couple with three young boys standing between them none of it was worth taking. I turned the photo over. ‘Libelle and the boys’ was written on the back. I stuffed it back in the box along with an old locked music box with a dragonfly painted on the thing, a wallet, and a broken watch before turning and leaving the cramped room.

By the time we reached the far end of the hall, my senses were on edge. It felt like I was just waiting for something to come at me and tear me apart. I tried the door but it was locked. A little golden padlock icon appeared beside the handle. I focused on it and a brand new window popped up in front of me.

It was strange. In the top left was a count of my lockpicks. Since I only had one it was a pretty paltry count. The majority of the screen was taken up with three parallel vertical lines. Each of them had a little ring spaced randomly along its length and a circle bouncing from one end to the other at different speeds. I guess this was a chance to work on my thieving skills.

I tried to touch the thing but just as it always did, my hand went right through it. Without being able to use my hands this was going to be very difficult. There were no buttons to click at the right times, so how was this supposed to work?

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I tried focusing on the bouncing ball but that did nothing. I ground my teeth in frustration. Where was the tutorial for this action? I watched the bouncing ball on the first line and just as it reached the ring I blinked. The line turned green and the ball stopped bouncing, locked in place by a simple eyelid flutter.

I repeated the action two more times, each one more difficult than the last. When the third line illuminated there was a loud click and the door swung open.

I snuck into the dark room on the other side. It was large and filled with desks and pointless computers. All of them were barren and covered in dust. I walked up the middle of them, heading for the door at the end that had a large plaque on it. As I neared the door a sound caught my attention. A snuffling, crunching sound.

Carefully I look behind a desk and yelped as a small pig came tearing out of its hideyhole, squealing in terror as its hooves slid on the tiled floor. Frank spread his wings and screamed at the creatures. It scamped away from me and rushed through the door I was heading toward, disappearing from view.

I looked down at Stella. “That was weird.”

She sneezed and I took that as an agreement. What was a pig doing in a brewery? I pushed the door open to follow and froze in the doorway. It was a large ornate office meant for the boss of this place but there was no suit-clad businessman in here, no, there were three pigs cowering by an enormous pile of bones and empty beer bottles. And sitting at the desk, his furry face lit by the flickering light of a lantern was a wolf.

Its golden eyes locked on me. Its tongue slid along its lips as it rose to its full height. This wasn’t like any wolves I’d ever seen before. It stood on two legs like a man but was as tall as the largest croc I’d seen so far.

“My, my, my,” it said in a gruff voice. “What have we here? You certainly have an odd sense of fashion.”

Frank screamed and leaped off my shoulder, flying high into the air and out an open window near the ceiling.

The wolf chuckled. “Perhaps you’d like to fly after your friend there, stranger? Or are you the brave kind of explorer?”

Stella growled at the beast, positioning herself between me and it. The wolf smiled down at her and growled right back. Stella was shaking but she stood her ground.

“No need to fret dear lady,” the wolf said. “I won’t hurt your little friend here, not so long as he behaves himself.”

“What do you want from me?” I asked in a very manly voice. It didn’t crack and squeak like when I was a teenage boy, I swear. I also was not on the verge of pissing myself. No, I’m too brave for that.

The wolf grinned, ahh, wolfishly, and plucked a golden pocketwatch from the pocket of the vest it had somehow squeezed its barrel chest into. It glanced at the time and then back at me. “Ready to help a gentleman out, are you?”

“What do you need from me?”

“Well, as you can see, my little den is getting a little gloomy. My pals and I would love to get our mitts on the old owner's secret recipe for his famous Bluedart Brew. It seems, however, that the cheeky bastard has hidden it somewhere. Perhaps you could find it for me?”

My mouth dropped open. “ You want me to find you a recipe? That’s it?”

The wolf chuckled in its strange deep brogue. “Now, now. It’s more difficult than you would think.” He gestured to the pile of bones beside the desk. “Not a single one of these dear fellows was able to locate it for me. Perhaps you are different though. A little more cunning possibly.”

I swallowed as I eyed the perfectly white bones. The pile was almost head high. “All of them failed?”

“Every single one of them. And I’m afraid I simply can’t have that. You have four hours. After that, if you still have not located the recipe, you can join my collection here.”

Quest updated: Barlow Brothers Brewery

Description: The new brewery owner has given you four hours to find an elusive recipe for a specialty beer called Bluedart Brew. Best get moving unless you have a death wish.

A small timer flashed up beside my quest menu icon, counting down the seconds until the wolf decided to kill me.

“Oh, and before you go,” the wolf said. “Don’t try to run. I’m in no mood to chase you down. It would make me very… upset.” Stella growled at the wolf's harsh tone. The wolf chuckled and looked at her. “Best help your friend my dear, I’m afraid the time limit goes for you as well.”

I grabbed Stella’s collar and dragged her from the room, hurriedly closing the door. I slammed my back against a wall and slid to the ground, my head dropping into my hands. Stella whined and licked my hands.

“I’m sorry, girl,” I said. “I just wanted a beer.”