Epilogue – A Silent Whimper

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I find myself unable to move my legs. But it doesn’t really matter much when I finally got to sit in this place. Activating my camera, scrolling through the old videos that thankfully the Lady didn’t delete, I finally got to see my family again. From my mother, father, cousins and other relatives, their faces left an imprint on my head.

I am happy that I am able to see their faces, even though it is just an image from a digital camera. In fact, I think that it is already lucky for me that this thing is still working. For a camera to be still working even after a hundred years, I say that the lady has a knack for reinforcing and maintaining these items.

“Happy birthday to you”

“Have a good trip!”

“Hey point it at me! See this flip!”

“Heh”

I can’t help but smile seeing their recorded faces. Really, despite with all my arguments with them, I think I really love them. It hurts that even though they did their best to cheer me up. I refuse them. Push them away. Heck, they even have me this cruise trip that ended up in me being transported into this place.

In this place, I learned how to be somehow strong and willful enough to last a hundred years. My start wasn’t really great. In my first days in this world, I begged and eat scraps. And then I got betrayed, went to different kind of places that are wonderful.

From the great sands of Trapolstan to those giant trees back in Gann. The fernery territory sea and the blue ocean that it had that were clear as a mirror. I can’t help but think that I have seen what wonders that most of my family won’t see. I feel sorry yet thankful that they didn’t have to experience what I experienced. I am quite sorry for them not seeing this, but thank God really, that they didn’t have to experience all the suffering that came with it.

“Ah.”

The camera suddenly flickered and turned off. Trying to open again, I felt a sudden numbness starting to envelop my arms. It felt rusty as if it was petrifying. I feel floaty. As if I was flying. I feel cold. Really cold, and there was a shortness of breath that I was feeling.

I don’t have time left.

I can feel it.

Honestly, if I wasn’t dying I would have stayed on the island. I would have tried meeting with Peronell, heck I would even jump out of the Galleon and swim to her. Hold her hand. But I am a coward to my very core. I don’t want to see them looking at me with pity. I am afraid of having the people that I have gone to care, cry.

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I am so afraid to see them weep and feel pity for me that I run away from them. I would have much a peaceful death if I stayed there but I run away. I was afraid. I was scared. I didn’t want them to be unhappy. So instead I came into this place. Back where I lifted my hands and cheered for this world. Where I could be alone and be at peace. But mostly, that is just an excuse, I am just afraid.

I feel my body really cold. I could feel my body so weak that sooner or later I won’t ever able to raise my arms again. So I took the blunt that I bought from the market and tried to put it in my mouth only for it to fall down on the ground. I tried moving my arms but it was no use. I don’t feel my limbs anymore. Other from my breathing and my sight everything was silent. I could barely hear anything.

It’s so scary.

But at the same time, I felt an inner peace inside me. The place has changed and became more wide and crowded with flowers. The river near the sea that floats through the grates makes for a sight. I am sitting under a tree, facing the river that points to the sea, so I could see the vast ocean. It was like a hill of flowers that made for a lovely sight.

Ah, suddenly everything was so quiet. I couldn’t hear the wind anymore. The sway of flowers and the flow of water were gone. It was just cold...so cold. The sun was still up yet I feel my vision monochrome. I was...just floating. And if I wasn’t seeing the sky at the moment then I believe that I would have died already.

My chest felt so tight. I couldn’t move or make a sound. There was strange feeling that I could not describe. It was so empty, that the moment when my vision suddenly darkened I panic immediately. Even though I thought myself not having fear anymore, I began to be frightened.

I tried to open my mouth. I tried moving but there was just none. I felt like that nothing around me. No sound. No anything. I began to cry inside my heart. I wanted to die looking at the sun, yet I couldn’t see anything.

I was despairing.

I was so scared.

I wanted to see the sky at least for once.

But as I thought of that dearly, a bright flash of light flared upon my vision. Looking at the flash of light that engulfed the world, I feel myself happy.

Like a thunder of God that brought light to my time of darkness. I could see the world and its color. I couldn’t hear anything but I was satisfied. This is what I wanted.

So...I took my last breath. And as my vision fades I saw a vague figure running towards me. I couldn’t make it out who it was but somehow the figure gave off a soothing feeling.

Closing my eyes, I made a last whimper.

Not a shout but merely a silent whimper.

I died alone in a place that made me feel at peace...