Chapter 20 - Adieu
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Ramiel stayed up in the attic holding the camera in his hands. He just stares at the camera, looking at the various pictures that his family took. From scenic locations, and faces, the camera is Ramiel’s only window to his own world. He was never fond of taking pictures, or actually letting any people take a picture of him. He always had this allergic-like reaction to being taken a picture.
He always avoids it to an extent. So when he looked at the contents of the camera, there is less of his face. The only pictures he had are when all of his family gathers in each reunion. So when he looked at those pictures, and the faces of his relatives. He could not help but feel his heart break.
In Ramiel’s head, they are all dead now. They are in an other world after all, and Ramiel himself is negative about the possibility of being able to return back to his world. He doesn’t know where to even start about finding anything that could allow him to return.
The first problem is that he obviously cannot read or speak the language of this world. Second, even though he know about magic existing, all he has seen so far are rather simple healing spells. They don’t feel like they are able to break time and space, so it makes Ramiel feel even more hopeless.
It is all hopeless to his head. And even if there is a one percent chance that there is a way to go back. Ramiel thinks that he wouldn’t know what to say. The accident that happened on the cruise ship, Ramiel thinks that he might be presumed dead by now. His family probably made an empty grave already and he would have no place to go.
Plus even if he managed to return. Would he return exactly to the right time? Would he even be in the exact same world? What if there are other worlds too?
Ramiel is highly cynical about his prospects about returning. He just can’t imagine that he would be able to return back to the world. He knows that it is impossible for him. There is just no way, that he would be able to find one. After all, his current situation is already worse.
He could not even pay for the medicines he needs to take for the infection on his throat. And you expect him to find some kind of super duper magician that would allow him to return to his own world for free without any charges? No, Ramiel doesn’t think that it is simple like that. Nothing as easy like that exists and he knows this by heart.
He knows that he isn’t someone special. He knows that the world won’t help him. He knows that he won’t be getting such luck like this today ever again. Hence, getting the three items back already makes him feel glad. After all, these items are a memento to the world he once belonged.
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He wouldn’t be able to go back.
Ramiel is positive about it. That is why; Ramiel can only stare at the camera’s screen with sullen eyes. He continuously watches the pictures until he decided to switch to the video gallery where he might be able to hear the voices of his family. There are various videos, from his family’s outing in a pool. And to a trip to a mountain, in order to complete a pilgrimage during the Lenten season.
And as he continued watching the videos, Ramiel spotted a certain video that was newly filmed. Opening the video, he found the image of his old rugged old man. He has a stubbed, his eyes looked sleepy, and he was looking fatigued as usual. Seeing the face of his father, Ramiel’s face crumpled. He wanted to turn it off, but halted himself as his father, started speaking in the video.
“Is this on, ah it looks like its recording. Let’s see, cough, sorry about that. Should I retry this again? No, I shouldn’t.”
Ramiel smiled wearily at his father’s awkwardness.
“Anyway, my son, I knew that you always hated me from the bone. I know that you don’t like me as much as you like your mother or your cousin. I know that much and I’m not stupid enough not to notice. You loathe me for expecting too much from you. Maybe, it is partly my fault but even so, I sometimes think that you are just acting like a coward. Hence, actually, I wouldn’t be making this video if your mother didn’t insist. Look, son, I may hate your cowardly nature, your inability to get to college, study hard, and find a job. I cannot blame you for all that suffering you have experience. I wish those things didn’t happen to you. But even so, I still love you, my son. I am spouting all those harsh words, hoping that you can be inspired to hate me and channel it to prove me wrong. But looking at how you have been locking yourself up. I think that I am wrong now. I might have hurt you, and you probably hate me so much now. But even if you do hate me, I will say this to you my son. I always loved you and never will I try to make your life better. I am sorry for the things I have done. And I know that you might not forgive me. But even so, good luck my son. I hope that your trip towards that island cheers you up. I paid most of the expenses so no need to worry about what you wanted to do. It may look like that I am bribing you but...well, I leave it to you. Have fun in that island my son, and when you get back, how about we go have a drink with your cousin, so until then, Adieu my boy!”
The video finished playing.
Damn it old man...
Ramiel who was watching felt that it was just not fair at all. And even though he wanted to hate the face of his father, Ramiel instead felt that he would love to have a drink with his father.
He wanted to have a drink with that father of his. And tell him that he is sorry.
But now he couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to do so.
It was already too late for that.