Chapter 9 - Anxieties

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With the business hours long gone, the newly opened bar and Inn of Felli closed up. The Rooms are occupied too, so there was no choice but to close the bar. Ramiel who was working for long hours stretched his arms. He bid farewell at Felli and went upstairs.

Back to the attic, his room, he sat on his bed. He massages his arms for a while, and then just laid his back on the bed. He closed his eyes and thought.

It has been a good while since I started working here. It is not bad, I get my meals, I earn my wage, and I even have new clothes now.  

Ramiel bought a pair of pants, a shirt with sleeves, and a dagger. He needed those items, especially the dagger. Despite the town being safely guarded, Ramiel has this thought that he should watch out for any evil doers. The two thugs who seem to be harassing him often skip town already, but it doesn’t mean he should be comfortable.

You could say that the dagger comforts him. It brings a sense of security to him. He might have now a place to call home and a job. But it doesn’t mean that the world would be too lenient. A gut feeling told him to be careful.

Thugs, monsters, and beasts, this world is dangerous.

He thought inside his head. He rolled around his bed, and then grabs the cloak that is near his bed. Wrapping it around him, he felt warm. He then grabs the blanket, lay it around him, and took a deep breath. Looking at the circular window of the attic, he saw the various locals crossing the streets. His eyes pointed at the deep snow, then to the statuette being carried by a person with nun-like clothes.

A Priestess of this town maybe?

He wondered while looking at the person. In his time in this town, he noticed that the locals pray for some kind of sun deity. He just guessed that it is a sun deity due to the aurora of the sun on the statue they pray. Ramiel is right about that, but it is not like he will know that. He is still having problems speaking the language. He learns the words for the table, chair, ale, but other than that he has few more things to learn. For example, today he learned that the name of Felli’s Inn and bar is Orient. He manages to do so when Felli repeatedly pointed at the building while saying ‘Orient’.

Although he learns the name of Inn, he still has some troubles on doing his job. Felli just lets him sit around while she listens to the orders of the customers. he would then go to that table.

Ramiel frown at the thought. He would love to be able to take their orders so Felli won’t be bothered. But with his problem communicating, he never really does have much a choice. Felli pondered about his problem and handed him symbols written on paper.

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For now, Ramiel is trying to memorize them. He managed to at least memorize the fifteen symbols in the first two weeks of winter. But he is now stuck on the twentieth symbol due to how it is written. Felli already taught her how the words are spoken, so it up to him now to somehow at least write the symbols.

Write it while pronouncing it at the same time. If only I was much smarter than this.

Ramiel thought. He was never the studious type of person. He was rather blasé in high school, and everything he does was just average. He was average in all aspects, although by the time he graduated he got less average due to circumstances.

I wish I would have exercised my brain further it I know this would have happened to me.

Learning a new language without any even being able to translate, and tell him what the words are is troublesome. He can scrape and scavenge, built up what he learned, and then hopefully be able to speak the language. Ramiel is anxious if he can do it, but without any choice but to move forward. Ramiel can only grit his teeth, focused his mind and learned the symbols of the language.

I should learn what I can. It is for the best that I speak the language here. I cannot just live without knowing what to say, and in the long run, it might help me here.

In honesty, Ramiel feels fear all over him every single second. He manages to somehow survive a month of begging and got a bit lucky to work in an Inn that lets him stay too. But even so, all he can see is a bleak future. This isn’t the world he is used to, he learns that hard when he was forced to beg on the streets and eat thrown away organs.

This world is even more troublesome than the world he once lived. It is harsh, unforgiving, and life is rather easily forfeited. Heck, if he did not get saved by that woman who gave him the cloak. Then he would be dead by now on the streets. His body would just be buried in an unmarked grave and be left forgotten.

I don’t want to die. I sincerely do not want to. Even though I might be here in this world forever, I just cannot let myself die. I want to live.

Ramiel said sincerely in his heart. He realized that he had it too good in his life. Now that he has been thrown out in an unknown world, he understood that he needs to work hard. He never once thought that only through a tragedy that his mind would be set on.

I will survive in this world.

He repeated those words inside his head. Ramiel has nothing in this world, that is why he choose to put a goal inside his head to have something.