Chapter 15 – A Lone Mute far from Home
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Ramiel’s throat got worse the moment he worked the day. Felli wasn’t so pleased with how he became a burden. So she gestured him to take a rest in his room. Felli didn’t really want to be harsh. But to be safe, she locked the doors of the attic in order to make sure Ramiel won’t escape the room and get his swolen throat seen.
Ramiel heard the clink of the lock and deduced that he got locked up. He didn’t feel any anger at what Felli did. In fact, he found being locked in his room a blessing. He has been working the days endlessly. Almost no rest at all, he felt for the first time in his life the troubles of labor. He poured sweat, worked all over the place and felt occupied.
His other relatives always complain about work. And now that he is working too, Ramiel felt like he understood all of their hardships. But even though he finally learned the feeling of working for money, somewhere around Ramiel’s heart is uneasiness.
He wanted to quit his job. He felt empty about doing such thing, and felt like there are some certain sparks missing about it. But overall, when Ramiel thinks about this topic, he would disperse it out of his mind.
What am I thinking!? I should be thankful that I got a job in this world. I don’t have the time to think about finding a thrill or a spark in my life.
Ramiel rationalized immediately. If he didn’t suffer the life of begging in the streets and eating thrown away rotten organs for a month, then he would think that he is some sort of hero. It might be different if he arrived in this world with an unimaginable power, because if he does, then he would surely look for adventure other than work in an Inn for a hundred silver coins a week.
With power comes confidence. And without power, comes caution. Ramiel isn’t over his head to suddenly think he can do outrageous things without any power. It might be different if he had one and surely he would change his attitude once learning about having a power.
But no, Ramiel didn’t have any single blessing bestowed upon him. Heck, his even suffering from the drawbacks of eating almost rotten organs. Luckily, Ramiel didn’t curse the Gods. Because if he did, then divine thunder would strike out from the heavens and punished his blasphemy, well, that’s if the divine punishment would be able to find him.
But anyway, Ramiel isn’t some superhuman. Hence, even the people in this world are much stronger than him. Unlike Ramiel, the people that are born in this world have a much greater immune system than Ramiel.
They also have much sturdier bones due to being born in this world’s condition. Monsters, beasts, and abominable beings exist in this world. So for the humans here, they evolved far better to survive the world’s danger.
Ramiel is a man born of the 21st century. In a world filled with modern technologies, where the lifestyle is a million times better than the world he is in right now. And in Ramiel’s world, humanity has grown lax because of the peace. Soldiers and those who trained themselves are those who stand on top of the food chain.
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Ramiel, on the other hand, is simply a man born to study, learn a craft, and go into a business where he would work his bones off until he dies.
Ramiel’s world and the world he is in right now have their own kind of terrors and advantages. The only similarity is that both worlds are cruel.
That is why in both worlds people find their own meaning and thrill. Ramiel’s heart wants to find that certain spark that would make him feel alive. But even so, his rational caution and fear stopped him from finding that.
It will get him killed.
He understood that fully when he got his sides torn by an arrow once. Heck, even now he feels that if Felli somehow decides to fire him. He wouldn’t be able to know what to do.
Ramiel might be naïve. But he isn’t stupid. He knows that Felli indeed finds him pitiable but he wasn’t delusional enough to think that it’s all kindness. He knows that Felli's taking advantage of his situation to make him work in her Inn.
A kindness that comes with compensation, Ramiel believes that Felli won’t just hire him because she is a kind person who sees some poor little beggar and decided to help him. He believes that nothing in the world is truly ‘for free’. And somewhere in the back of his head, he deduced that the reason why his pay is rather low is that because Felli subtracts it through ‘rent’ and ‘food’.
Everyone has their own motive. Ramiel believes that truly.
But even though he concluded what is in Felli’s mind just by actually thinking about it. He still doesn't feel any sort of anger towards her. No matter what she does, Ramiel cannot just get angry at the one who extended a hand towards him.
Doing so would only leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He isn’t so cheap to be angry on what he concluded in his head.
What am I even thinking anymore? Though Ramiel. Staying in the room made him think a lot; maybe it’s the pain in the throat. But overall, Ramiel who is in this room felt even more lonely than usual.
I wonder that mother is doing. Hah, I bet if she saw this swollen throat of mine, she would panic.
Ramiel remembered his kind mother. His mother that loved him so much, the mother who would always tell him ‘do what you want and I will be here to support you’, a sentence that she would occasionally say to Ramiel, those words might have made Ramiel become too spoiled of a mama’s boy. But even so, those words save him at his darkest times in his past world.
Mother isn’t here anymore. I won’t ever see her again probably.
Ramie thought about it and felt a pressure in his heart. It pained him, and now he felt even more lonesome than ever.
There are people in this world. There is even a kind owner that allowed him to live. But even with all that, Ramiel felt isolated. Unable to talk with them or find out what they are meaning to say, makes Ramiel think that even though they are there. They aren’t really there.
He is still alone in this world.