Prom

We are just men,

When there’s a full moon,

We transform in the night,

No, I'm not an architect,

Bookworms in their bedrooms,

I'm feeding all night,

Did you miss your period,

Its okay, I'm ready to settle,

I don’t make the rules, Emily,

Don’t be rude, I'm not sure I can afford a horse,

Maybe when you’re eighteen,

The patriarchy, am I right,

A virgin's first time,

I hope he takes me like a man,

When we're alone in the bedroom he changes,

He feasts on flesh, drinks blood,

Well shit, the balloon popped.

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Sports Bar

And magic was still in the air,

Black magic is still a bitch,

Look, the watermelon man,

How do I get past this,

You man up,

Put on your gloves,

And start playing volleyball,

Ghosts burning an effigy,

Nah man, that couldn’t be me,

Maybe if you look close enough,

Through the myth, through the legend,

You'll find, yeah I checked it,

It still makes sense to me.

Pet Lizard

In the darkness,

In his room,

Horns grew out,

His skin became scaly,

So slimy, too many secretions,

Flesh, his socks,

Is this too embarrassing,

Should we break the fourth wall,

Climb into your bedroom,

Samara, the ring,

Put on a condom,

My dad is coming,

Flesh, pump, pump, wet,

Right to business,

Did the joke land.

Hell's Angels

No I don’t decide hierarchy,

But I can get you a job interview,

What you do with the opportunity is not up to me,

Its where the mice are separated from the men,

Hell's gates, let me in, just three dudes plumbing,

Somewhere in here is an entrance, under lock and key,

The game begins, the hunt is on, if you have it you have it,

The deer is running, traffic, headlights,

Watch, what an animal becomes, when backed against a corner,

Does she ride her ass up, begging for more,

Or does she say daddy, please stop, it hurts,

I never wanted it to be this way,

But I love you, I can’t leave you alone,

Once I’ve tasted it, you can put the collar on,

While I'm here I might as well go further,

Some vanilla ice cream,

Watching a movie with my baby,

Under the blankets, its wet,

I’m so excited, is it raining,

Daddy, monsters don’t really exist, right?

Its sad, he got stuck in traffic,

So the monster ate her up,

He said it tastes like chicken,

Spicy sauce, drip, drip, drip,

Dammit, it’s a flood,

Can you go even deeper,

I fear I shouldn’t,

I fear there are vampire hunters,

Get ready for a fight,

Bang, bang, bang,

Open up,

Baby, hide,

The full moon,

What are you doing with my wife?