All stories of young heroes are the same,

They wish to grow up, explore the world,

What will they do, for a taste of the girl,

Defeat the demon lord, start a rebellion,

But sir, I just wanted some cooch,

Well boy, there's this girl, by the corner,

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They call her Mary, pay her forty dollars,

And you'll see it, its hairy,

No need to go on a journey,

And a witness, in the crowd,

Asked, what romance is there in that,

Where is the style, the art,

Where is the grand joke,

Of this little boy, going all the way,

To Mordor, to keep a ring,

For it to possess him,

How cruel is living,

That we rejoice,

When it burns,

This ring,

Let’s set it all on fire,

Just a virgin, a boy,

Who didn’t get any,

Don’t call me a liar,

The journey was important,

Maybe, I’m not your father,

Do you really, want to be,

Luke Skywalker?