V2 Chapter 151

They sat in silence as Sibylla stared straight ahead. Levelia could tell she was thinking about something. Her beautifully-shaped jaw was clenched tight and there was a frown line creasing her forehead. She thought back to what all she’d said. But she couldn’t think of anything that would upset her. Well, at least aside from her status as an adulterer. But she was certain that it wasn’t that… then what could it be?

“So…do you love him?”

Sibylla suddenly asked, turning her gaze back to her.

Levelia didn’t want to talk about this topic; after all, it was extremely awkward. Her heart still grieving and torn apart into many pieces by the betrayal of the one she had loved. The wound is still fresh and new. However, she knows that she wasn’t in the position to ignore her question. Though, the atmosphere and mood around them started to feel queer, that even she couldn’t understand where this meeting going to.

“T-Truthfully, I had seen this beforehand… I know he wouldn’t be alone—someone as great as him would never be. Even still… I still choose this wrong path. Why? There's no particular reason. Ever since I was a child, I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to play despite knowing my mother's sufferings. I like to fight more than doing household chores, going inside the dangerous forest despite the warnings, and even almost losing my life numerous times. All my past friends, lovers are idiots, the worst crowd to be with, some beyond control. When I became able to, I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god that I truly believed in, country, ideas…even humanity itself."

"I was settled into being mediocre...ordinary as long as I can live. Simple and a normal person, without any big problems going on my way. Living by the moment even, without care of life. But my mother fell ill and there, was I, slapped by reality hard. And I became wide-awake from my own selfishness. I tried to become a better person since then. But I still cause many mistakes, often causes irreparable things." she said with a wry smile, her eyes and lips trembling. She blinked her eyes furiously, trying to hold back her tears, but they still fell onto the floor and formed damp halos.

She stared right Sibylla's eyes, her expression full of pain and sadness, it could evoke someone's sympathy.

"...I didn't make for an interesting person. Not I wanted to be interesting in the first place, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to belong to. I never liked being alone; sometimes it felt good but it never felt right. Then, I met him...”

She feels so disgruntled…felt so heart-broken this time.

Although she had already thought about this situation before, for it truly happening now, it still hurts! She thought she found real love even if he’s younger than her. He was completely mysterious and weird, like a shady individual who fools other people for their own benefits and amusements—even like this, she still really likes him.

Actually, despite all the fears and anxiety weighing her mind, she still accepted his courtship—not because she was forced by the pressure he was exuding at that time, of course, there is that as well. But she, indeed, had opened her heart to him, and let him do what he wanted, only because she felt that Cian was totally different from all the men she met, especially among the nobles she knew of and had seen in her life. It’s as if he was from a different world.

The guy was really strange. Sexy, gorgeous and delicious…but strange. However, for some strange reason, she felt comfortable around him and liked his unique charm, more and more as time went by.

As silly as it seemed, she wanted his attention. And she got addicted to being protected by him through the expedition that she almost forgot that she was the leader of the team. She thought everything would be wonderful, that he was the one… the one she’d been waiting for all this time.

However, to think he’d really trick her, waiting until she’d given him her heart and even her body before telling her he wasn’t who she thought he was—it hurts. It freaking hurts. But now, it’s impossible for her to leave even if she wanted to. But the worst thing was, the person she’s really mad at is none other than; Herself.

Originally she couldn’t forgive his deception, but because of recalling the three words ‘I love you’, he always tells her, in her heart, she’s already started to forgive him.

She likes smart, powerful men. As a woman, who doesn’t want their man to be clever and powerful? A dragon among snakes? But if a man is too clever and powerful, several years of disappointments, she had reached a conclusion: she’s compatible with submissive men, or at the least, obedient men.

Those types that would spoil her, that would take care of her as if she was a princess and he was her knight. She wanted to be served, respected, and even loved.

And this man not only has to be obedient, that would respect her and obey her every word and will—and that would always take care of her, bringing her as a top priority on his list of things important, but also needs to be powerful enough to support her. If he’s a weakling, then he wouldn’t even enter her eyes….

What a conundrum!

A docile man and yet he can’t be a weakling; that might be a little difficult…

Especially in this word, where powerful men equate the greater ego and sense of superiority.

Yet now, Cian Jekyll had appeared in front of her.

Like a ghost in broad daylight.

His appearance was earth-shaking. He was like a burst of ray in the darkest storm.

While he might be a little mischievous and likes to tease her, he still respects her, listens to her and would always protect her if necessary. He would always put her status and safety to the highest level. And most of all, he truly is very powerful. While he’s powerful enough that, even she perhaps might not be his match at all.

That’s what she realized when he saw him fight.

Only when he’s by her side will he act spoilt and whimsical, while obediently listening to her. Although he was not truly very obedient and sometimes even somewhat overbearing, that’s because it’s his way of teasing her—though, despite that, when he did act like that, he becomes even more charming that she can’t help but get attracted to him even more.

If she says one, he wouldn’t say two and while they were traveling, whenever they are in conflict or argue, he even knows how to skillfully retreat, coming up with a compromise for them to peacefully continue their relationship. He rated her decision and words very highly.

Levelia knows full well about her strange temper. Every relationship she had most breaks because of her temper and strong character. Her mother always reminded her to be somewhat lady-like, compromise as men in this world always like to show their pride and superiority.

But can she do that?

No, never!

Why can a man always be the one who is superior?!

Why can’t it be women as well?

But the world was geared in that kind of absurdity.

Hence, she had already given up on it.

Then, suddenly out of nowhere, he came.

Before she could react or understand what was going on, he crept into her heart, barge in without any warning.

From their first encounter, Cian had changed her life in ways that no amount of people or adventure in the Winter Mountain could have.

Those fantasy stories she read in books or recited by poets and bards quickly became her life, and those ridiculous plotlines of fateful encounters and whatnots…became her reality.

Would I have done anything differently if I had known what was to come?

Levelia was not sure. She would love to give a straight answer to that, she placed herself in a high pedestal and she was proud of her self-respect and importance, that she would never reduce to something she would be a shame to all women like her. But reality sucks. She can’t.

At times, she was grateful, so utterly lost in the moment of passion that her judgment is clouded and all she can see is him. Other times, she thinks of the pain and anxiety he caused her, the deep sting of loss for who she had been, the chaos of those moments when she felt as if her world had been turned upside down, and the answer isn’t as clear as it once was.

All that she was certain of is that her life, Levelia Onsted’s small life, and her heart will never be the same, not after a certain someone like Cian Jekyll crashed selfishly into them.

… …

For such a compatible man to appear by her side, what else does Levelia have to complain about?

“…I don't think this is the right thing to say, especially in front of you...but I was drawn to him. I was powerfully attracted to him. And before I knew it, I...I was in love again.” Her eyes glistened with tears, but she was smiling, that gentle, tender sort of smile that could not be concealed. “… Though, at the same time, I knew... I was in trouble. Falling in love is not a mistake, but it sure will bring a lot of troubles...like a storm coming, and your life will never be the same as it was. It will change everything...and I knew that… I understand that. But...I still bit the bait…"

Her face was full of tears and mucus, making her look like a wreck. Then, as if she had noticed her unsightly display, she lowered her head. Then, she held her hands to her face as though she was wiping her tears. “However, I can’t blame him for this matter. After all, I’m the one who had decided myself to accept him, all while knowing that love is always like this—like diving in unknown ruins. Not knowing what lies beneath, whether it be monsters or treasures, you live or you die. You take a gamble. The worst part is making the choice to do it, not the result. After all, no one knows the future. Only once you went inside, there’s nothing you can do, but pray and let what comes next happens…”

However, now… Levelia bit her lips and covered her face with her hand. She started crying quietly… she really didn’t like to leave him. She already started to fall in love with him truly, that he had left behind a scar that cannot be erased anymore.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

“You’re quite calm for someone being tricked. Don’t you hate him? Hate him enough to kill him? Well, anyway even if you do that, I would kill you myself first,” Sibylla smiled indifferently. She had expected for her to rage, and she had already come up with many wrestling moves to take her down. She even imagined doing a snake-hold to calm her down. However, all her preparations have gone for naught. And this somehow irritated her. She was quite calm on her lover's trickery, accepting even.

But Levelia shook her head with a wry smile. Hate him? Indeed, she hated him…but wanting to kill him? Not enough.

After all, he was not the only one at fault.

He had tricked her, yes. He made her fall in love with him, made her leave her old self behind and come into his world, despite the unknown dangers that lie ahead. But now, before she was really at home in it, fate made a cruel prank—it was too late to go back, and he left her stranded there—like an adventurer falling inside a terrible dungeon, not knowing where to go, not knowing what to do, but knows about the danger around.

Levelia smiled faintly—ahh, that’s right. How could she forget about it? Levelia didn’t know if he’s lying or not, about all the things he told her ever since they met. However, to her, it was the very truth… she can feel the sincerity within his voice. His love and affection were perhaps, part lie, but her desire to possess her was indeed the truth—she was confident about it.

During this dangerous expedition, not once did Cian leave her, failed to protect her, and that’s even after giving her body to him already. There was no change whatsoever, even if what he wanted from her was just her body, there was no change or alienation after she has given him what he wanted.

Maybe she was wrong, and it wasn’t her body that he wanted from her?

She seemed to be mistaken—although, maybe there is indeed another ill-motive behind it. Despite knowing so, during this time, she was indeed felt secure, protected.

…And she was drunk on that emotion.

Sibylla's expression darkened as she stared at Levelia’s love-struck expression. But she waited, patiently as she listened to her continuation of the story.

"...my mother says, Love is like an unexpected mystery box. It might give you reward, treasures you seek, desired... but it can also bestow you endless misfortune. The worst thing is that it didn't have any forewarning or signs." she smiled wryly. A solemn, but gentle expression flashing across her eyes as she thought about her mother. "... I mean, you were with one person a very long time, eating and sleeping and living with them, fighting and sharing life and death, surviving, days becoming wonderful memories shared together, loving them, making promises for a wonderful future... and then it stopped. So sudden and you were not able to react in time, and once again, you are left alone." she continued as she lowered her gaze, looking at the floor.

"...Then, there was a short period when you weren't with anybody, then another man arrived--like pieces of puzzles, gears clicking in the right place, you be with him, and then make love with him... and it all seemed so normal as if you had been waiting just for him and he had been waiting for you.”

Sibylla's eyebrows rose up, taken aback by Levelia's level of frankness. However, she didn't say anything and listened.

"...and once again, you know that all of it was actually just an illusion...a lie..."

“… …”

Looking at her, Sibylla didn’t know what to say or feel about this. Although she understands first best how much of an attraction her beloved fiancée was. Despite, what she couldn't understand was that, how could a woman who he just met a few days ago be like this for him?

What kind of addicted drug did he feed her? Did he place powerful charm magic on this woman? If she didn’t know that Cian was not capable of casting any Charm Magic, she would surely think that he had done something to her. After all, Sibylla knows how far Cian would go if he really wanted something.

All hell could break loose, and even the Gods and Goddesses in this world could never hope to stop him if he wanted to obtain or do something. Hence, she was certain that Cian might actually do something evil, even if it was deemed lowly and wicked in the eyes of the world just to achieve his goal. Furthermore, Sibylla greatly understands that Cian was not the type of man who would do something sentimental as love so easily like this. Did he want something from this woman…? And what could it be?

Because of this reason, Sibylla didn’t immediately throw Levelia away from the room. And even decided to listen to what she has to say, like a priest in a confession room.

Sibylla let out a sigh. Her stern gaze somewhat softened, seemingly able to relate and agreed on what she had said. However, her expression still remained stoic; "Lie it may be, but from what I know, humanity is like a flock of fools and morons who prefer a beautiful lie over a painful reality. And they would do everything they could to keep out that lie from being destroyed, even if it meant pretending to be deaf, blind and ignorant. Even if there is someone else who would get hurt in the process, as long as it's not themselves the one who took the short end of the stick, they would carry on with little to no guilt.”

Levelia’s eyes widened in surprise from Sibylla’s sudden outburst.

“… Listening to you, you appealed yourself as somewhat different... but is it really? Or what? Reasons aside, you’re telling me that you can easily let go of everything—let go of him after knowing about the truth. So easily, so simply… Not even trying to struggle a bit harder…?” Sibylla stared at her with an oddly twisted smile. “…Well, I guess that's natural. Relationship to you, Human Beings is just like a game. Only at the start had any motivation, then the participants lost their interest during the middle and then finally letting go, unable to wait for the end of the story. Especially when something goes beyond your expectations. Masks dropped away and real people began to appear. Love turned indifferent and hearts turning cold—how scary humans can be.” Sibylla said rather sharply. “They took themselves as just and honorable while wearing masks of betrayals with justice played on their mouth like a parrot. "

"Then what do you propose I should do? Thicken my face, insert myself in that life of yours and be the evil witch that destroys a family, without any shame and moral? That I should grit my teeth, and fight an already losing battle with only foolish stubbornness equipped?” Levelia gritted her teeth and cried out, her eyes leaking out tears tumbling on the floor like white beads, from a broken pearl necklace. She scowled at Sibylla hatefully. “…Unfortunately for you, I don't have that kind of heart. Disgracing myself, and paint my pride and honor with mud and dirt? Isn’t that what you wanted, me leaving from your lives?!" Levelia growled in madness. “Then, why are you still yipping about, and giving me false hope?! Only to feel despair in the end?”

“Hm? Perhaps, you might be right. I truly don’t want you in both of our lives…” Sibylla replied simply.

Levelia’s expression faltered and she clenched her fist, her eyes turning red as if she was on the verge pouncing at Sibylla’s calm but emotionless eyes. This woman, is she playing with her?! Is she trying to flaunt her victory on the defeated?! How hateful!!

“Was that too insensitive?” Sibylla asked as she noticed her expression. “I can be pretty blind to other people’s feelings, well, not like I wanted to show much sensibility if that’s what you’re truly hoping from me. However, if you’re thinking that I was trying to throw you out, then, I guess you would feel disappointed…”

“What?!”

Levelia moist eyes widened in shock, the tears that were trying to depart from their creators, as well suddenly stop and stared at the weird woman in front of them. What is she trying to say?

“If you’re going to try to do something in the first place, then make sure to go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing a lot of things; identity, family, friends, acquaintances, home, character, and even perhaps your soul—it could also mean not being able to live a wonderful and peaceful life that many people had wanted. It could mean, wickedness… it could also mean being trap in a delusion. It could mean mockery, and shame in front of the world–isolation as a result.” Sibylla crossed her arms over her abundant chest. Her eyes glistening dangerously, “… Though, for us, isolation is actually the gift.” she said. “All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. How much you are willing to go for it—it gives things such as dreams, ambition and many more, their value and worth in this twisted world we are living in. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine the moment you succeed. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that.”

“What are you—?!”

Levelia’s eyes opened wide in shock, seemingly having to understand what Sibylla was hinting at. However, she couldn’t believe that this was happening…what is with her?! What is she planning?!

Sibylla’s lips curved upwards, turning into an icy cold smile. “What I wanted to know from you, is only one thing. Do you really love him…? Simple. That’s just the question, which answers I’m looking for.”

“I… I did… but it is wrong!”

Levelia’s mind was full of confusion—doubt, and anxiety.

Where is this conversation leading to?

What is the woman before her, trying to make and accomplish?

“Wrong…?”

Levelia’s words got stuck in her throat when suddenly she heard a very chilling cold voice in front of her. It was so cold that even with her level, she felt she was in a winter world.

“Are you saying having my man, is wrong? Or are you trying to claim my man is inadequate?!” there was a wave of obvious anger in her voice that Levelia was petrified. She felt as if she was being eyed by a venomous snake. This somewhat confused her. What did she say wrong?

“Th, that’s not what I was trying to say! It’s not wrong, no, it’s, it’s basically wrong… he had you, I… I was the one who intruded between you! But, but! I ignored that fact! Because I love him!! I wanted him!! I wanted this mistake! I wanted this to happen! But… I know it can’t continue, with you…”

“Then, what do you want to do? You're not going to fight for your own longing, because you had learned of my existence…? Pretty selfless, aren't you?” she asked her expression indifferent and unusually calm.

“What…?! What are you trying to say exactly!?”

Levelia was flabbergasted. Sibylla’s reaction to this matter was beyond her imagination, nor her understanding.

Although another meaning would be sending her away, it’s actually not.

There seemed to be something hidden within her words.

“Truthfully, I don’t really care how many women that idiot has…nor would I try hard to manage it. You will not be the first, not be the last either. If I try to mind all of the things he had done, try to manage all the accursed women around him, my heart would have been killed in hardships a long time ago. And I would have lost, not only myself, but also him—which, I could somehow manage the first, but the latter, No. Losing him is like losing my life! Hence, I got used to it…better get used to it.”

“…???!”

“…and then, I realized, it would actually, barely concern me at all. Because I know, my worth is much more than you, or anyone who will try to be with him now or in the future. Whether there are dozens, hundreds whatsoever—that idiot would not leave me or replaced me for someone else.” Sibylla muttered with a matter-of-fact expression and her expression in absolute confidence was enchanting, despite her somewhat ordinary appearance.

This is the confidence of a victor.

A gust of wind blew through. Her gorgeous emerald hair and the dress of thin fabric fluttered with the whispers of the wind. Sibylla reached out a strand and tucked them behind her ear. The dress was so loose Levelia feared it might blow up enough for her to see inside. Perhaps because she had been influenced by her lover, that Cian who always likes to wear black as Levelia had noticed, her thin dress was dyed dark, but that was not enough to hide the sexuality overflowing from her womanly body.

The skin visible from below the black fabric was milky white and firm. This was not a beauty that relied on youth. Her overflowing confidence and regality seemed to overpower any women Levelia had seen before. She is not a commoner…

Levelia thought as she looked at her. Anyone who saw her would naturally decide they would gladly die for her. She was the epitome of nobility. Levelia did not know how much political prowess she held, but she was clearly charismatic.

Still, Levelia was somewhat surprised. She truly didn’t expect these words of hers. Although her words seemed like a dagger stabbing through her heart, whether she liked it or not, or find anything she can argue, she was certain that her words are true.

She didn’t know what Sibylla and Cian’s relationship was or how they got along, but their engagement alone is something she cannot hope to surpass.

In this world, where man taking up many wives and concubines is a common matter, the first engagement has always been the hardest to break. She would be the first wife, no matter what happens, and her status would be higher than anyone that might appear in the future. Her standing is nigh impossible to shake. Especially for her who is just a commoner, a lowly birth. Unless she would obtain the favor of the man, she would still remain a concubine…but that might even be impossible.

Even an idiot would realize that her and Cian’s relationship is not as simple as being engaged, perhaps even deeper—just looking at their expressions when they talk about each other, and their way of talking, that’s the best proof. Even Cian’s expression at that time when he asks her to send that strange coin to her was full of emotion. His expression was overflowing with love and tenderness that she can’t help but feel envious of.

Sibylla stared at Levelia, and continued; “But you don’t know him at all, do you…?”

Levelia flinched. “Wh, what do you mean? If you say he is a noble, I—”

“Not just any noble you know of…however, the truth is something you cannot imagine with that measly brain of yours. Since you are personally chosen by him, I wouldn’t care and even try to accept you if that is what he wanted. I was never a narrow-minded person, nor a possessive one. If he wanted the world, I would even give it to him in a silver platter. Much less, as simple as accepting you…” she snorted coldly. “… But sadly, that is not the problem here. The issue lies in something else…”

"... ...?!!"

"...and that is the most important matter, which of course, will depend everything, including your fate,"