“Here we are, please have a seat!” Marina’s mother sat me down on a sofa in the room, “Actually, you’re free to lay down if it makes you more comfortable. Would you like something to drink? Juice? Coffee?”
“Wait!” I shouted, halting her, “Please just calm down, I have something important to tell you!”
“That can wait, I’m sure. Now, please tell me what drink you prefer?”
Looks like she’s hellbent on catering to me as a guest before hearing me out seriously. I guess there’s no other choice, so I’ll play along for now and follow her lead.
“I’ll take a Latte. If you don’t mind, I like to sweeten my coffee, so add a sugar cube or two.”
“My, my, despite your appearance, you’re a rather sweet boy.”
“Heh, I’d like to think so, but no.” I explained, “I’ve done some bad, bad things in my life, so I’m anything but. That being said, if you’re just calling me childish, then I’d have to agree with you.”
She gave me a puzzled look before just straight up asking, “Why the self-deprecation?”
“A-Ah, sorry! I stepped out of line and started babbling!”
“Not at all.” She served me my cup of coffee before sitting down across the table from me, “In fact, you’re right on topic. You see, I’m a psychiatrist – a mental doctor, if you will.”
Right, I do remember her saying something like that before while she was helping her husband up a moment ago. I guess there are all types of doctors, it’s not all physical, but psychologic as well.
“Oh, where are my manners!” She suddenly yelped, “I’m Minerva Dola, mother of Marina Dola, and along with Rick we take care of the patients that come our way here in the Dola clinic. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise, I’m Lune Grimheart.” I followed her formal introduction, “Husband of Marina Dola, and I’m here to tell you about her passing. I’m sorry for saying it so suddenly, so please accept my condolences.”
“Eh?” She seemed confused, “She’s, wait… Huh?”
“I wanted to tell you in the other room with all the others, that way you’d have someone to comfort you apart from me, but you shoved me in here before I got the chance to say anything. Although, when I told your husband, Richard, he just acted as you saw previously.”
“Hold on, I need a moment…” She turned away from me to compose herself before turning back with a wide smile, “Then, Lune Grimheart, may I ask who those two girls that are accompanying you are?”
“Those are, ugh, how to explain this…?”
After a couple of minutes of me trying to formulate a proper chronological timeline of events that lead to everything that has happened so far, it seems like she finally understood the gist of what had occurred. She was still a bit shaken up, taking tons of sips of her own coffee every couple of seconds, but no matter what, she tried her best to not let it show on her face.
“So Marina was supposed to give birth to your child, but she was shot and killed on accident by your very own best friend…” She struck a thinking pose before looking like she found the answer, “So you’ve been through a lot, huh?”
“Eh? Why are you switching the topic to me all of a sudden?” I said, genuinely confused, “Marina’s the one that passed, and to top it all off, I showed up here with my ex-girlfriend and our adopted daughter. Doesn’t that anger you at all?”
“Why?” She once again gave me a puzzled stare, “Marina’s the one that died, yes, but you’re the one left with the survivor’s guilt. If anything, the person that died is the one that deserves the least amount of pity. It’s the people that mourn them who are the biggest victims.”
“That’s…”
A rather grim way to look at it, I wanted to say, but couldn’t finish my sentence before breaking down. I know it was a pathetic display, but talking about all of my past experiences with Marina while she was still alive indirectly made me recall our last moment together. I still remember the months I spent in solitude over in Lichtenstelle, the island where we were to spend our honeymoon in.
In the end, that island became her place of death, as well as her final resting place, ironically enough. Those days were filled with nothing but emotional rotting as I would wake up every day just to bring her some flowers, do the leftover paperwork that was assigned to me as Sol, and finally head to bed late into the night. Those days were filled with nothing but despair, but I trucked through because I knew Nelly and Cecily were waiting for me in Abyssus Solis, and I didn’t wanna stand them up twice in a row.
“In any case, I’m happy that she married you.” Minerva spoke with a soft tone, “I know that you’re the one most affected by this, but I’m glad that she could at least spend her final years with a kind young man such as yourself. I hope that you can look past my husband’s cold reaction just now, because I’d like it if you could consider us part of your family.”
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“O-Of course.” I said solemnly, “Marina’s death was a heavy blow to my life, but the time I’ve spent with her in the border between the two Centralises will always remain a happy memory. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your grandkids, Mother.”
This apology appeared to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, because she finally broke down herself and began weeping to herself. It was still a bit stifled, but I imagine to an aloof and distant person such as herself, this was devastating.
In the end, we sat in silence for a bit more. I took another sip of my coffee, but realized I had already drank it all. Awkwardly putting my cup back down on the table, I couldn’t help but cry a bit as well.
***
“So by the way,” She finally asked after composing herself, “How are things going with your current family?”
“My current family? You’re talking about Nelly and Cecily?” I replied, “I don’t… They’re, well…”
“Don’t worry, I’m Marina’s mother, yes, but right now think of me as nothing more than a psychiatrist or family member. I won’t get mad.”
“Right, well then, here I go.” I started my venting with an ahem, “I’m conflicted. I left Cecily and Nelly and told them I’d be back after my expedition to Sibirus, but then I ended up betraying them and marrying Marina.”
“Mhm,” She jotted something down before saying the all too famous phrase, “And how does that make you feel?”
“Me? I’m happy I married your daughter. She was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, it’s just that… Cecily is also the greatest thing that has happened to me. I can’t pick or choose either one, and if I had the option, I had always wanted to pick both from the start.”
“Ooh, a polygamous womanizer are you?” She teased, hiding her face behind her clipboard, “I may have gotten the wrong understanding of who you are, Lune Grimheart. But do tell me, have you read any Eldenfreud?”
Ah, I just told my mother-in-law that I had planned on bringing another woman into the marriage between me and her daughter. Looks like she's just teasing though, so I won't dwell too much on the matter.
“Oh, I’ve read his work as a child.” I didn’t entirely understand what she was getting at, “It’s that story about a guy who wanted to satiate his Iro by any means necessary, right? In the end, he did so, but figured out that there’s nothing waiting for us at the end of the tunnel, so he just went to the woods and that’s where the story ends.”
“Hm, you said ‘work’, not ‘works’ just now. Can I take that to mean that you haven’t read any of his other works?”
“Other works?”
“Right, he’s certainly famous for that one story of his, but an author doesn’t just live off of one story, and I can tell you for certain that they aren’t satisfied with just one either. Humu, much like your love life, I bet~!”
“H-Hey! Just tell me what you’re getting at, geez…”
“Okay, okay, sorry! As I was saying, he had tons of other stories, all great reads too, but there’s this one story that caught my eye – “Selfish Souls”. Does it ring any bells?”
“Hmm, no, not at all actually.” I hunched forward as if to gesture that she has my full attention, “But do go on, I’d like to hear more about it.”
“Great, then let me start with the premise. There are a total of ten main characters. Each of them hail from a different corner of the world, and in order to succeed in attaining their own respective goals, they all have to meet up together, because one goal can’t be cleared with just one person.”
“I don’t quite understand? Ten main characters?”
“Well, think of it like this – If say one person’s goal was to slay a legendary dragon, he couldn’t do so alone, yes? That’s why he needed one of the nine other guys to help him, but that one other guy wants to become the greatest blacksmith, and he can’t do that without the help of the third guy, who’s an adventurer, and so on…”
Oh, I see! That’s quite the interesting synopsis! Actually, I kind of want to read that now! But wait, if they all meet at the same place in the end, then what’s the deal?
“In the end, they all meet up, but the kicker here is that one person hates all of the others for spoiler reasons I won’t get into. That is, he hates all the others except for the one person who’ll help him. And so, despite all ten of them showing up for the final meeting, only one of them leaves and manages to succeed in their dream.”
“Whoa, that’s crazy.” I had my eyes wide open, “Crazy selfish, that is. Did he have to disable the others from achieving their own dreams just because he disliked them?”
“See, it doesn’t make sense, does it? That’s what I was thinking as well, so I wanted to hear your thoughts on it. Why exactly did he have to be the only one to chase his dreams and succeed? What made him more qualified than the others?”
“Well maybe…” I thought of a somewhat reasonable reason, “Maybe the others would’ve done the same if he wasn’t selfish. Maybe he was just doing whatever it took for him to make it, even if it meant cutting the other’s lives and/or dreams short.”
“So you’re saying that it’s alright to do what you want and be a bit selfish at times?”
It was at that moment when I remembered Cecily’s words back when we were at the barn. She said something similar back then as well, telling me that she was just being a bit selfish, and that I should at least let her do as she pleases once. So was she the same as that guy in the story? Was she just chasing her goal selfishly?
“I think you’re starting to get it as well.” She got up from her seat to show me her clipboard, “Everyone in the world is exactly the same as those ten main characters. Everyone has a goal, a dream they’re chasing. But it’s not possible for everyone’s selfish dream to be fulfilled to its fullest if they are conscious of others. So Lune, please rethink your future actions with that Cecily girl. You’ve lost Marina, but that doesn’t mean you can’t at least have Cecily and Nelly. Don’t be one of the nine that threw away their shot.”
Checking the clipboard, I saw the words “BE SELFISH” written in bold across the entire page. On the top though, I saw a little drawn picture of a little girl who bore a striking resemblance to Marina. No doubt, that was her staring back at me, telling me the very words her mother wrote for me. One by one, tears began erupting from my eyes, but I couldn’t help but smile and thank Minerva for helping me, for hearing me out, for giving me a shoulder to cry on.
Heading back to the main lobby to reunite with my family, they had immediately jumped out of the couch and ran up to me, worried.
“Lune, what happened? Are you alright?” Cecily said with teary eyes.
“Dad, youw eyes awe watewy…” Nelly tugged on my shirt.
“Heh, I’m alright. Thanks for worrying, girls.” I chuckled, “Yeah, I’m alright now.”