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Vol.15 Ch.330 - Into The Tunnelverse

"So, how much longer before we make it to the top?" Cecily turned to the Gods as she looked on at the peak in the distance.

"Can't you see for yourself?" Aru pointed to it, "It's literally right over there!"

"Of course I can see it, but that still doesn't tell me squat if I don't see the path leading up to it." Cecily groaned, "For all I know, the path could have all sorts of detours and twists and turns making it way farther than it already looks to be."

"Fair point. Ooh, I wonder if this still works..." Issei pulled out his phone and pointed it to the peak, "Okay! Destination point: Set! Current location... Oh, lemme just point it to my feet here and..."

"What are you doing now?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Measuring the distance between the peak and our current location." He showed me his screen, "It was a new feature back when I had just bought it, but I rarely had any uses for it. Basically, it uses AR technology to make it so your phone serves as a ruler, see?"

"Huh?! S-So we're only a kilometer away from the peak...?!" I jolted.

"A kilometer away!?" Eleanor jumped as well, "There's no way, that's impossible!"

"Surely it couldn't have been calculated so far out without you physically reaching the top, no?" Othelia tilted her head, "What a marvelous invention..."

"But that is not the case." Prylos corrected the phone's calculations, "We are another 2.4km away right now."

"Well duh, that's because the phone literally draws a line from point A to point B." Issei elaborated, "The line is just a kilometer away, but it practically flies over the dips and twisty paths."

"Yeah, that'd make sense." Cecily looked a tad smug as she went to laugh at Aru, "See what I mean? Just because I can see how far we are doesn't mean that's the end all be all!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Aru clicked her tongue, "At least I don't beat my kids, isn't that right Cene?"

"Mm..." Cene kept tightly clinging onto Aru before anxiously sticking his tongue out at his mother, "Bleh!"

"Y-You may think that's gonna scare me, Cene, b-but in reality..." Cecily bit her tongue until it bled, stifling her tears as she tried to keep a straight face, "B-But in reality..."

"Looks like you regret that slap after all, huh?" I teased her lightly.

"Shut up, I had way too many emotions well up in the moment, and now that I've calmed down I can't help but feel bad..." She slouched forward.

"Then why not apologize to him?" I suggested calmly.

"Sigh, even if I did, he's too young to even realize I messed up and didn't mean it." She shrugged, "Let's just hope he forgets it soon."

"Forget? There's no way in hell he will." I chuckled, but with a tinge of seriousness added in, "Kids remember everything from their childhood, even if it's on a subconscious level. If you keep quiet, he'll forever remember the pain of getting slapped by his own mother, but if you say something right now, he'll only remember your apology."

"Bwahhh~!" She immediately became a sobbing mess once she heard my words of wisdom, running over to Aru and snatching Cene away from her as she began hugging him with all her might, "I'm so sorry, my precious baby booooyyy...!!! I'm sorry, please don't hate mommy over that stupid thing she didddd....!"

"Wah!" Cene looked more confused than startled at this point, turning to me with furrowed brows as if to ask what was happening.

Chuckling, I gave him a thumbs up, accompanied by a warm smile to signify for him to play along at the very least. The boy's smart, he caught on quick that this was something he couldn't yet comprehend as a child, but still had to do for his mom. Hugging her back with his tiny arms not even fully wrapping around her torso, he said something so adorable that it made even me swoon a bit.

"Ish okay, mommy!" He smiled with his Eyes closed, fully enjoying the embrace, "I'm fine, don't cwy."

"S-Sniffle... Bwaahhh!" Cecily continued bawling her Eyes out, this time for a different reason though, "My boy is so smartttt~! He's so kind, just like his father! Ed, Cene is such a precious kid!"

"I-I know, of course he is." I tried not to laugh at this special moment between them, "But I'm sure that kindness of his also stems from you quite a bit, so don't let Grim take all the credit."

"Uuu..." She stuffed her face in her child's chest as she squeezed and squeezed, "I'm sorry for hurting you, babyboy..."

Well, that's a sight for sore Eyes. I didn't really expect her to leap at him and apologize so forwardly, but I guess parents operate under different logic parameters than we do. I guess she really just hated the feeling of being hated by Cene that much, which I can at least sort of understand. Nelly got kind of mad at me once when I ate all of her pudding, and she refused to speak to me for an entire week. At some point, you just feel so bad for making the wee ones cry that you can't live with the pain, so you fall to your knees and apologize with all your might. Still, unlike with my apology, it seems no one here found it awkward or embarrassing to witness Cecily going through with all this.

"A mother and her child making up, what a pleasant sight." Prylos gifted everyone with a warm smile.

"Yeah, doesn't it just make you wanna apologize to your mom as well?" Aru patted him on the thigh due to their height difference, "She could really use it right now, you know."

"I will not apologize for not calling you my mother, Allucius." He sternly dropped the smile he wore, "As I said before, distant cousins."

"Hrm..." She pouted before crossing her arms, "Alright, siblings. Final offer!"

"...Fine, whatever makes you happy." He sighed as if finally settling for a compromise.

"Well what'd really make me happy would be if you referred to me as your mom." She shrugged with a bratty smile on her.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"What's that? Do I hear a demotion incoming, sister dearest?" He looked down at her threateningly.

"N-Nah! All good, bro!" She innocently began to whistle before changing the subject.

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"This is..." I stopped to look at the giant hole in the wall that the path was seemingly leading us into.

"A tunnel." Aru finished my sentence, "We go through here and after that it's basically a straight staircase to the top. Don't worry, we even set up some handrails for travelers, so it's like 90% safe."

"What about the 10% then!?" Issei gulped.

"Well, the handrails can be quite shaky at certain spots." Prylos elaborated.

"Ohh..." Eleanor whined a bit, "A-And there's no other way around it?"

"I'm not good with heights..." Cene agreed with her on that one.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine!" Cecily reassured her son with a bright and cheery smile, "I'll protect you!"

"Y-Yeah!" Cene said with an awkward chuckle before admitting, "Why couldn't Wewdiw come awong..."

Hearing this, Cecily was kind of saddened, but didn't let it get to her, at least not for now. Besides, we still have this tunnel to pass through before we have to worry about any staircases and handrails, so let's put that as the priority for now. Prior to entering the tunnel, I offhandedly started looking around for some conveniently placed dry wood to use as a torch, only for a bright flash to pop up from behind, scaring me in the process.

"What the-!?" I turned around, "I-Issei, warn me when you wanna use that thing!"

"Haha, did you seriously not expect this to have a flashlight function?" He chuckled as he pointed the back of his phone at everyone's faces, making our Eyes squint, "Come on, I'll lead the way. My phone's flashlight is way brighter than a measly torch anyways."

"That thing sure is convenient for an adventurer..." Othelia noted offhandedly, "Looking back, are you sure this was made for regular people? What with the ruler, the compass, the clock and calendar, the camera, and now this... I dunno, it feels way more suited for adventurers more so than anything."

"Hm, now that you mention it..." He thought about it some more before agreeing with a surprised face, "Yeah, I really don't know why anyone else would use all these in their day-to-day lives apart from if they were stranded somewhere. Well, lucky me, I guess."

"Yeah, you said it." Aru smiled, "Damn, I can actually see the future changing in front of my very Eyes. You seeing this, Pry?"

"Indeed, this man's presence is messing with our Time Cycle's natural order of events." Prylos nodded solemnly, "A true anomaly."

"Hey now, you're not gonna kill me before I mess anything else up, are you?" Issei let out a nervous chuckle.

"Hmm, who knows?" Aru stuck her tongue out jokingly, though Issei took it as a threat.

"Eep!" He jolted, tightly clenching his phone as he continued walking at a slightly faster pace.

"But anyways, what do you mean by the future changing?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Well, we Gods see everything in this Time Cycle." Aru explained, "From the universe's very birth to its death, and everything in between. We know everything about everyone, but since our foreign friend here doesn't hail from this universe..."

"We can't quite predict what will occur to him, nor the people he interacts with." Prylos finished her thought, "Even now, devices like the one the foreigner will be created sometime in the future, but they weren't meant to be called smartphones. Then, now that he has shown it off as such, we can actually see people referring to them as such in the future. He has essentially changed the future's history."

"Whoa, that's whacky." Issei inspected his phone seriously, "And to think I used this thing for watching porn..."

"Ew! Too much information!" Eleanor and Cecily squirmed.

"Seriously, you just had to say that?!" Othelia chewed him out as well.

"Hmph, well, I suppose that is the natural course of events with such inventions." Prylos chuckled, "With a device that can share all kinds of information, it'd only be a matter of time before the lustful mortals got to it."

"See? I got God's approval to wank it!" Issei then roped me into this, "Right, Ed? You agree with me on this one, right!?"

"Can't I just stay neutral on this topic?" I inched away from him.

"Traitor!" He shouted, "And to think I wanted to show you my catgirl hentai folder... Too bad, I guess-"

"Issei is a man, just like any other!" I immediately piped up, "There's nothing to be ashamed of! A man's groin is his duty, and by God if Prylos himself says it's alright, then I have nothing more to say!"

"Hell yeah, Ed!" Issei dapped me up, "I knew you were reliable!"

"Ugh, you boys are all just a bunch of horndogs..." The girls didn't seem all too amused.

"Cene, don't grow up to be like them." Cecily turned this into a lecture for him.

"Why?" He asked innocently.

"Just don't."

And so, as we walked through the other side of the tunnel, a large snow-laden staircase remained the final part of our long and arduous trek to the top of Mount Ivrys. With this, Prylos had but one thing to make clear.

"Just so everyone is on the same page, I do not and have never testified to condoning excessive masturbation among the male populace." He spoke as if reading from a script, "My words were taken out of context and used for nefarious..."

"We get it, we get it!" Aru patted him with a smug expression, "Ya' don't gotta hide it, Pry! See how those guys were loud and proud about it? Just be like them and let it all out!"

"Allucius, regarding that nine day trip to Heaven I talked with you about." He glanced over at her.

"What about it?" She smiled back.

"I'm cancelling it."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!"