A few weeks into this new way of living and I must say, things have gotten staler than old bread. This house is spacious. Okay, I get that. It's also luxurious, has everything you'd ever want in life, and even the location is a short walk away from the beach. That's also cool, but that's also where the problem lies. Truth is, it's just too good. Life is supposed to contain some level of yearning. You need to have something you want to have that you currently don't possess, yet here we are lounging around all day, playing games and watching TV. Issei's mom also lent him her phone so he could finally use that Internet he kept talking about, which just opened the floodgates even more.
"So if I go to this website, I'll be able to watch any TV broadcast regardless of timeframes?" I would ask him.
"Not just TV broadcasts, but if you go to YouTube or Twitch, you can watch other people's homemade stuff." He would happily reply, "Like gaming vids or tutorials on all sorts of things."
Right, tutorials. Basically this world's version of guidebooks. Looking back, I'm not at all surprised by how advanced this world is when I see how they learn. You're telling me that every household has at least a dozen of these devices from which you can access all of humankind's collective knowledge? No wonder your kids are geniuses! Ah, but there's also that one time I stumbled upon another site...
"O-Ouroboras." I tapped him on the shoulder, "Need some assistance, please."
"What is it? Why are you whispering?"
"Shhh! Shut it, I came to you because I trust you'll keep this between us!" I bashfully handed him the phone, "I was trying to download this one game from the YouTube tutorial, but then these naked babes suddenly popped up all over and I don't know what to do!"
"You... must have downloaded a virus." He sighed as he flicked his finger on the phone's screen, "There, please be careful when following tutorials in the future. Watch out for unfamiliar links, and always check what the comments of the video have to say to avoid these situations in the future."
"Thank you! Thank you!" I hugged him with all my might, "A-Ah, but then, Issei or his mom might still see the things I searched up..."
"I deleted your history, do not worry."
"What!? S-So the price to pay was my family lineage!?" I jolted, "You cur! I thought I was gonna come pray to a God for help, but it turned into a deal with the devil!"
I got slapped after that, and he explained the true definition of "deleting one's search history" soon after. Boy do I feel dumb for that one, I called the guy that helped me the devil. How horrible of a person can I be? That was so embarrassing, from start to finish... Well, you live and you learn, so from then on I vowed to be careful with downloading from sketchy sites and the likes. Even then, I quickly found myself bored of the Internet as well. Filled with nothing but addictive information, it makes you think like you know everything before hooking you in with a virus trap. Truly, it doesn't have beasts or bandits, but this world is dangerous in a different sense...
"Uuuughhh..." I slouched around, "I wanna go to Mount Everest alreadyyy~!"
"What? You're already bored?" Issei continued to play a game on the TV, "It hasn't even been two weeks yet, though."
"Hey, what are you doing there?" I finally felt brave enough to inquire about the little guy jumping around on the TV as Issei fiddled with a different looking remote.
"Playing DMC6." He paused before smiling at me, "It apparently came out a few years ago, so I wanted to catch up with my favorite game series. The graphics are phenomenal."
"Eh!? That's not a real person in there!?"
"Nah, this is the devil hunter Nero." He explained, "He's a quarter demon who beats up other demons to stop their evil reign of terror."
"Huh..." I approached the screen to point at the other person in the corner, "And that little girl there?"
"Oh yeah, I guess you're not caught up with the lore of the previous games." He chuckled, "In the previous games, you played as Nero's uncle Dante, and fought against his twin brother Vergil."
"Twin brothers fighting? That sounds sick." I sat back down to listen.
"Yeah, the games follow the Rule of Cool, so there's never a dull moment. In the previous game, the brothers make amends and set out to fight the rest of the demons in hell, whilst Nero is left behind to defend the human realm."
"Tight..." I sat in awe, "But that still doesn't tell me anything about the little girl fighting demons beside Nero."
"That's Athena. Nero's cousin and Dante's daughter." He revealed.
"Oh, she's young." I wondered, "How come she was conceived if the guy's in hell?"
"No clue, tons of theories online." He shrugged, "Some say he got another prominent female character, Lady, pregnant before he went there, others say he just clapped demon cheeks."
"Yuck, who'd wanna touch those things?" I pointed out the grotesque physical appearance of the monsters Nero and Athena were beating to a pulp.
"You'd be surprised. In fact, here." He pulled up something on his mom's phone.
"Augh, dude! What the f-!? Ack, my Eyes!" I gagged from the illustrated image he pulled up, "What the fuck is that!?"
"Rule 34 of the demons." He cheekily grinned, "In other words, illustrated porn."
"Why do you have that on there!?"
"I don't, someone posted it on the internet and I found it by accident while searching up combos." He deleted his search history and tossed the phone aside, "Just wanted to let you know people make all sorts of weird shit on the net."
"People are disgusting..." I still felt kind of queasy from seeing it.
"Oi, Issei." Itsuo called out to him from the other room, "Come here for a sec. We need to talk."
"Oh shit! Don't tell me he saw me searching that up!?" Issei fretted to himself, "Fuck, play the game if you want, have fun. Imma go see what he wants."
It's a nice offer, but I think I'll pass. I can't even look at those things anymore without thinking of that God forsaken image. Eugh, and just when I thought the people of this world couldn't get any more weird... Good luck Nero, protect Athena with all your might!
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Seeing as I had nothing better to do, I felt a bit sneaky and went to get up and spy on these two's conversation. Was it wrong? Probably. Did I care? No, I'm bored. If you really think about it though, basically chaining me up to this boring house for a month would surely make anyone rebellious. In other words, it's their fault for making me like this.
"Son." Itsuo sighed, "Please stay here."
"Oh thank God, it wasn't about the rule 34..." Issei heaved a sigh of relief.
"What?"
"Nah, nothing. Go on." Issei let him continue with a lot less tension in his body, "But what do you mean you want me to stay? I'm staying in this world, of course."
"No, not that." He tried to find a way to explain it to him clearly, "Look, you're... You're 30 already. You should know that it's not right to be this irresponsible at your age."
"Wow, way to call me old, pops." Issei chuckled, "Look, if it's about the games and stuff, I'll tone it down once I finish this..."
"No, not that either." Itsuo sat down on the dining room table, "Let Ouroboras-san and Lune-san handle the situation. From what I've gathered, they don't need you to go with them."
"You... want me to stay at home while they visit the World Wonders?" Issei got a tad fussy, "Dad, you do realize I need to bring Eleanor and Othelia back, right?"
"Instead of that, why not find yourself a nice girl from Japan?" He asked, "Or rather, I understand you're now a tad too old for finding such situations by yourself. There's no helping it because you weren't here all this time, after all. So how about your mother and I set up a date with..."
"If this is all you wanted to talk about, then I'm going back to my game." Issei disinterestedly turned his back on his old man, "Eleanor and Othelia are irreplaceable, and I still owe Lune my help in getting him back home to boot. This is objectively the right path I'm going on."
"Do you know how dangerous that journey even is!?" Itsuo shouted, "You're walking a thorny path, son! Turn back while you still can, listen to me! Your friend can go with Ouroboras, that's not an issue. We don't mind giving them the travel funds even if it's without you going with them, okay?"
"They have ways to make an abundance of money, that isn't the issue."
"Alright, fine. Then onto my next point - Do you realize you guys don't have any documents to travel the world?" He frowned, "It's alright when you're traveling inland, but international travel is forbidden unless you have passports."
"That's..." Issei muttered, "We'll figure something out..."
"And even then, let's say that you do make it to all the places - Weeks or even months into the future." Itsuo continued, "What will you do when these two girls suddenly pop into this world? They won't have any documents in the registry either, not to mention polygamy is a big no-no in this world."
"We'll just travel somewhere where no one cares, then!" Issei shot back.
"Son, you're mixing up this world's common sense with that other one!" Itsuo pleaded, "Come on, son! Your mother and I finally got you back after years of searching, so please do us this favor and stay with us! We don't want to lose you!"
Wow, this is some heavy stuff... I feel kind of bad for listening into their conversation, but on the other hand they were being so loud that I probably would've heard them even if I stayed back. Now that I think about it though, they're speaking in Entropic, so maybe it was Itsuo's plan from the start for me to overhear them? Certainly, I can swap places with Othelia and Eleanor even without Issei's help, but I can also understand his feelings for wanting to be there for the ride. This situation doesn't come by easily, and I know for a fact that his love for those two girls makes any and all risk of failing worth it if he gets to be with them again. But his parents are worried for him... Sigh, if I hadn't gone to visit my own parents recently, I would have just brushed that off. But alas, I went to Whitehood, and I saw the desperate Eyes of my parents just wanting to spend some more time with their child. I don't know, who should I side with?
"Issei Kaido will be going with us." Ouroboras suddenly made himself apparent, "He tampered with two Universe Cycles' natural orders, so until he makes things right, he will not be free to stay with you."
"Ouroboras-san? What are you...!?" Itsuo looked around, "Is Lune-san with you?"
"Ah, so that's how it is. You're enslaving me now, Ouri?" Issei grinned from ear to ear, oddly enough, "Well, fine by me. Now all I gotta do is convince you to let the girls come here."
"Which will not be happening." Ouroboras returned back a condescending glare, "Our one goal is to return Lune Grimheart to his world, nothing more. Remember, failure to comply will..."
"Result in my pubes getting burnt off, I get it."
"Pubes? What are you even talking about, Issei!" Itsuo got lost in the conversation.
"It matters not what he says, nor you for that matter." Ouroboras dramatically walked out of the room, "He goes with us. You do not want to disobey me, Itsuo Kaido."
This warning, or rather a threat, came completely out of left field, but it was effective nonetheless. Ouroboras' bone chilling words echoed throughout the room, and it seems his Godly aura slipped out a bit, instilling a horrible sense of fear in Itsuo. Clenching his stomach before kneeling on the ground to throw up, he had gotten a taste of what it means to stand in the way of Issei's planned trip.
"D-Dad!" Issei went to help him.
"Ugh, hngh..." He coughed the leftovers out, "W-Who is that man...!?"
"A jackass, I'll admit that." Issei smirked, "But he just gave you a slap on the wrist and spared your life, so I guess he's merciful."
A merciful God... My ass, knowing the Gods, he probably just threw a tantrum that resulted in his powers going off the rails. That Sun God, is it even safe for us to go with him, now that I think about it?