"Alright! Our first match is against old friends, believe it or not!" A very enthusiastic Kevin narrated, "The reformed bandit Lee against the reformed schizophrenic Meil! Who will come out on..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Green girl stopped him, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He grinned and shot her a thumbs up, "I'm the commentator. I'll be narrating everyone's moves as soon as they do them to more accurately explain it to everyone."

"No, not that. What the hell is up with those descriptions?" She shook her head, "Reformed bandit and schizophrenic? Calling them that is super rude!"

"Let him be, he's obviously got his gripes." Librarian guy stopped her.

"Meil punched me in the face and Lee sent Lemmy to University, so I have justified reasons for calling them such degrading names." Kevin figured.

"You gonna blame me for sending away such a troublesome kid?" Lem's dad turned around to face Kevin, still holding the racket and ping pong ball as he said, "If you're gonna call someone names, at least save it for Lemmy."

"Oi! What kind of a father are you!?" Lem bit his shirt, "Dammit, I knew cheering for Meil over you was the smarter idea..."

"See?! He doesn't even wanna root for his pop-pop!" Lem's dad shouted, "Argh, stupid boy...! Meil, screw these guys! Let's have ourselves some proper fun!"

"Hmm, reminds me of prison..." Meil smiled as everyone turned awkward, "Hey Lee, remember that game Issei taught us?"

"Shiritori?" Lem's dad tilted his head before smiling, "Ohhh, I see! Wanna play shiritori table tennis?"

"Exactly." Meil smiled, "I say a word, you follow up with a word that starts with the last two letters of the previous word. Only catch is that you gotta think of the word before you hit the ball back."

"What kind of game is that..." I sighed, "Didn't I just say that games are supposed to discourage thinking?"

"Sorry missy, but now it's time for the adults to play!" Lem's dad immediately served the ball, "Prison!"

"Onset!" Meil returned.

"Ethereal!"

"Algae!"

Gasp! Meil sent back a word that ends with 'ae'! Lee is doomed!

"Aegis!" Lem's dad sent it back all too quickly.

"Huh? He thought of such a word almost immediately..." Lem seemed just as impressed as I was, "My old man's actually... smart?"

"Heh, nah." Lem's dad stuck his tongue out at his son, "I just heard it from Meil back in the day!"

"Hmph, how cunning...!" Meil chuckled before returning the ball, "Isolation!"

"Onset!" Lem's dad then realized, "Gah! We used that word already!"

"Your memory banks are way too limited, Lee." Meil took the ball in his palm, "That is one point for me."

These guys, they're gonna take all day at this point... Still, it's good to see this side of Meil too. It kind of makes me nostalgic for my childhood, but I don't quite know why. Maybe he was like that back when dad was with him. He's usually quite cold and secretive these days, which of course makes sense when you recall his condition, but just seeing him honestly smile at his friend like this kind of tugs at my heart.

Well, I say that, but it actually took them an entire hour to finish the match. Kevin valiantly held onto the hope that he could narrate the match before it ended, but due to the nature of their little game there, he really didn't have a place to fit himself in between them. Lem fell asleep on the sofa half an hour ago, leaving Green girl, who was seated right next to him, in quite the awkward position. I was pretty enthralled by the match though, trying to think of the next words along with them, and before I knew it, the match was already over.

"Elephant! No wait-!" Lem's dad then threw the racket, accidentally hitting his sleeping son in the process.

"Ack! Shit!" Lem woke up in a panic, even rolling off of Green girl's thighs and landing very hard on the ground.

The explanation here is that there simply isn't a words that starts with 'nt', meaning Meil's "Eel" was a trap word that finally dealt the finishing blow.

"Haha! Won by a landslide!" Meil gallantly put his racket down, "You are still a few hundred years of training away from winning against me, Lee!"

"Geh, you say that, but didn't that perverted brat Issei win multiple times against you?" Lem's dad shot back.

Heee~? Just who the hell is this mysterious shadow emperor Issei, and how come he's such a bipolar entity? Seriously, sometimes they explain he's a perverted brat, and other times Meil keeps praising him for teaching him all sorts of new things. I really don't get it...

"Issei is not of this world, so it does not count!" Meil refuted, "Of course he would know tons of things that we of this world do not!"

"Back up a bit." Kevin chuckled, "I feel like the effects of Meil's pills are starting to wear off. You doing okay, bud? You just said something about another world."

"Seriously, what's up with that?" Librarian guy dittoed Kevin's comment, "Meil is saying some outlandish things again, though we've gotten used to that by now, I suppose."

"Nah, the kid's right." Lem's dad agreed as well, surprisingly, "Issei kept flaunting it back in prison, so no one really took him seriously, but the things he said were just so out there that it really convinced us. Like get this - He said the world isn't actually flat, but a ball! It took him a damned long time to finally find a way to explain it, but when he did, it just made all too much sense!"

"Ugh, dad..." Lem touched the bump the racket had caused him, "It's common knowledge in this day and age that the world isn't flat. You're just a stupid old geezer who didn't get a proper education."

As the father-son duo bickered, Green girl, Kevin and I stood back witnessing the great battle from afar. Only halfway through it did Kevin lean into my ears to whisper in a nervous manner.

"I actually heard from an old library book that the world is shaped like a donut, but I'm way too embarrassed to ask Kiria that." He blushed a bit, "Mind telling me which it is?"

...Really?

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***

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Next up after these two's super long match was none other than yours truly vs Lem. This was actually perfect, because it served as a perfect way for me to show him how much better a physical game was than a tabletop one. Grabbing my racket with a sense of glee to it, I couldn't help but smile and cackle as I looked over to watch him hopelessly try to serve the ball-!

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Huh?" My confidence started to waver, "L-Lem? What the...?"

Hitting the ball with all his might at the wall next to him, almost perfectly rallying it back to himself whilst repeatedly hitting the exact same cross shaped pattern without fault, Lem had effectively displayed his table tennis prowess to everyone.

"What's wrong?" He turned around unamused, "Just cause I said I disliked physical sports, you thought I was bad at them? Unfortunately, our souls are at odds, Nelly."

"Stop speaking like a cringelord!" I shot back.

"Pathetic." He glared back as he grabbed hold of the ball, "You are not worthy as my opponent."

Serving the ball super high in a flashy manner, I looked up to follow it, but...

"W-Whuh!?" I noticed nothing was there, "O-Oi!"

"Trick serve. Easiest one in the book." He explained, "By pretending to toss the ball high whilst serving it low, it effectively makes for an easy way to take the advantage at the very start. A more advanced player would have seen through the ruse in an instant, but it seems I overestimated you."

"Crap...! Cheater!" I whined, "I'm not gonna play if you keep doing that!"

"Heh." He returned a smug smile before serving again, "Where's your motivation?"

This time, the serve was admittedly pretty clean, and I managed to rally it back properly into the opposite corner, just like how mom taught me. By purposefully alternating where I send the ball every time, I effectively wear out the opponent after just a couple of points. Basically, this first half of the game doesn't at all matter, as by the end, he won't be able to move a single muscle.

"Phah!" He held his breath for that one, "Don't get so cocky."

"Same for you, dear!" I felt like joining in on his little charade, "Best be ready for this one!"

"D-Dear!?" He jumped, leading to him letting the ball go past him, "Gah!"

"Eh?" I turned around to see the others snickering, "Did I say something wrong?"

"Nah, pff..." Lem's dad nudged Kevin a bit as he stifled his laughter, "You're doing good, hun! Just keep at it, you'll get him eventually! Pff...!"

"Dammit!" Lem slammed the table before tossing me the ball over, "Now I'm a little motivated!"

The next few rallies went just as you'd expect. Due to him mostly spiking the balls down the center, he usually won the majority of the rallies, but due to his predictable behavior, he would often need to move a ton to catch my side shoots. After a while, we were both sweaty and eager to win.

"Die!" He shot the ball towards me.

"Hyah!" I returned it.

"Scum." He continued.

"Hup!"

"Begone!"

"Okay, can you just stop already!?" I returned the ball before snapping, "You're distracting me! Ah-!"

"Too easy." He snickered after scoring yet another point, "C'mon. Show me your motivation!"

"Argh, say another cheesy line and I'll send the next ball straight at your face!" I warned him.

"Hm..." He thought for a bit before giving me a shit-eating grin, "You're going down...!"

"That's it, you asked for it!" I aimed right between his eyes when all of a sudden, "Wha-!? You returned that!?"

"I mean, you already told me where you were gonna aim, after all~!" He jeered, "Foolishness, Nelly. Foolishness. Cunningness controls everything. And without cunningness you cannot protect anything. Let alone yourse-"

"There!" I aimed for the very edge of the table this time, spinning the ball outwards, "Score for me! Time for the turnaround!"

"Hey! Who the hell interrupts a villainous monologue!?" Lem seemed offended.

"Villain? You consider yourself a villain?" I stopped for a bit.

"What, you gonna say something to distract me again, like how I'm much more of a hero or something?" He continued smiling confidently, though his cheeks were flushed, probably from the exhaustion.

"Nah." I served the ball with a bottom spin, "You're neither hero nor villain! Those titles would be wasted on the likes of you!"

"Oh? You finally got into the mood of things, huh?" He seemed happy that I finally started speaking his language, "Then by all means, Nelly! Let's do it! Remember, no holds barred!"

Now finally, the match started to heat up for real. Everyone was feeling the tension in the air, and no one really cared for picking sides anymore. Finally, we had reached a state of play where neither side was inherently "good" or "evil". We were just friends playing some good old table tennis, and that meant the world to me. Still, in the end...

"Blast!" He rallied the ball with the last of his strength.

"You shall die." I said with an ominous tone.

"How... boring!"

"Rest in peace."

"This is... the power... of... phah!" He finally let the ball go after his exhaustion got the better of him, "Damn. Fuck this. I'd rather lose than die of heatstroke."

"Yeah, haah, you said it!" I took off my vest, revealing a soaked white shirt underneath.

"Ah." Lem looked over with his eyes wide open before his nose started bleeding, "S-Shit! This is because of the heat, got that!?"

"Eh?" I tilted my head as the others mocked him for whatever reason, "Okay?"

Well, seeing as both father and son had been disqualified, and they apparently had errands to run, they drank their cups of milk and headed out. All this was accompanied by a content smile and words of gratitude for inviting them. Now that they're gone though, there were only five of us left. Wait, five?

"Now that I think about it, why isn't Librarian guy playing?" I finally noticed him standing at the kitchen counter, away from everyone, "I almost forgot you were even here to begin with!"

"You can just admit you forgot, Nelly, I won't get mad." Librarian guy sipped his milk, "There was an odd number of players, so I just didn't write my name in the top hat. Don't worry though, I enjoy observing matches far more than I do playing them."

"That ain't good!" I then dragged him to where we were, "I want you to play!"

"Ah, well, if that's the case..." He gave me a warm smile, "How about this - I'll be playing against the first place winner. Think of it as a bonus round. Will that be okay with everyone?"

"Yeah, sure." Kevin and Green girl both agreed.

"I do not mind either." Meil nodded.

"Well then, Nelly, do your best to reach the top." Librarian guy sat down at the sofa with the others, "I'll be waiting!"

"Mhm! You got it!" I grinned back, "But right now we've got the final round of the first bracket - Kevin vs Green girl!"

"Urk, she still refuses to call me by my name..." Green girl moped.