And that's how I went on a rather annoying side quest with an even more annoying set of unskippable cutscenes. Really, if I had known this was how I was gonna be spending my day today, I would have called Issei or Ed with me for help. Adam's always been kind of a pain in the ass to deal with when it comes to doing anything even remotely related to making his wife happy, but this I feel is stretching the definition. For Gods' sake, the man bought her a gym subscription for her birthday!
"Well, we're here." He sighed as we stood in front of Nat's tailor shop, "But why here of all places?"
"That's because..."
"Well I'll be!" The perky tomboy lady with cyan hair opened the door to greet us before we could even do so ourselves, "If it ain't the king himself! Thanks for stoppin' by every, I dunno, ten thousand years!"
"Nat, I am a busy man with an even busier family life." He sought out an excuse, "Between leading the country and taking care of my wife's and children's needs, I simply cannot find the time to pay you frequent visits as well."
"Y'know, I'd be inclined to believe ya', Ads, but I ain't stupid either." She shrugged as she motioned for us to get our butts inside.
"Not that I disagree with that sentiment, but what do you mean?" I asked.
"Psh, you serious?" She furrowed her Eyebrows, "The only reason he has left ta' come 'ere is if he's in cahoots with his wife for botchin' a gift or somethin'."
His silence only made him look guilty, which was a fresh difference in comparison to his usual prideful self. I think it was only in that very moment where the man realized just how little faith everyone has in his words when he constantly calls himself a good husband. Of course, I don't mean this in the sense that he doesn't provide Elaine with all her needs and all that, but it's a fact that he skips out on picking up those slight hints that'd really make her happy. That, or at the very least not mad at him all the time...
"Hit the nail on the head there, did I?" She patted him on the shoulder, "Oh Ads, never change..."
"We came here to get him something actually worth gifting for Elaine's birthday." I explained, since he didn't really look willing to embarrass himself any more.
"Ah, so it's a birthday this time?" She laughed.
"This time? Wait, this isn't the first time he's done this?" I glared at him.
"Sigh, unfortunately..." Adam deflated.
"That guy's a phenomenon, I tell ya'. I think he holds the world record for makin' his wife mad at him for screwin' basic shit up." She added, "He comes here every time to "fix" the mistake of not gettin' the right thing for his lady friend. There was their anniversary where he got her beginner level dumbbells, their first son's fifth birthday where he gave him a gun, their second son's first birthday where he just recycled his first son's gun after she didn't let him give it to Allen..."
Wow, it just keeps piling on and on, it seems. Adam's really crap at handing out presents. Even still, this is kind of a blessing for it to be a known issue, cause it means we went to the right person. We also know these bad gifts definitely come from a place of love for Adam, but he's just so out of touch with reality that it doesn't always translate all too well to the rest of his family. Well, Elaine is originally a village girl, so it'd make sense that she's a lot more commoner-aligned.
"Nat, can you help me pick something out?" Adam asked, finally opting to put all his pride away, "Please."
"Nah, sorry." She shrugged, "Nothin' I can do for ya'."
"Eh? Well why not?" We looked stunned by this.
"Dumbasses, you can only keep buyin' a lady flowers for so long before they start to lose meaning." She explained, "I keep coverin' for ya' every time you mess somethin' up, so she's not gonna be satisfied with just another dress in her drawer."
"Nat, quit being annoying and help me out here!" Adam got fussy.
"No, no, don't blame her." I patronized him, "Whiny babies need to learn how to solve their own problems by themselves."
"Lune, you're getting on my nerves too, y'know...?"
"Look, Ads, I can't bail ya' out like I usually do, but I can at least give yous some tips." Nat gracefully commented, "I always thought this was common sense, but if yer' lost on what to give someone as a present, you oughta' look into their day-to-day lives and go off that."
Yeah, that's the logical way to go about it...
"Is that so? Then it's simple!" He smiled brightly, "She's always in her garden!"
"How often do you accompany her on her walks in the garden?" I asked.
"I don't?" He looked at me like I was the weird one, "It's interesting for her, not so much for me. Much like how she doesn't accompany me to the gym."
"Looks like you got yer' work cut out for ya', best man..." Even Nat felt bad for me wasting my breath on this idiot.
In the end, Nat's signature dresses ended up with no dice. Obviously, I couldn't have known that this was Adam's first pick whenever he screwed something up before I led him here, but it's not that big of an issue anyways. We actually spent such a long time talking that it's about time I pick Cene up from his playtime with his friends. Since he's the only one in his friend group who actually lives pretty far from the playground, he has to be the first to leave so he can make it to lunch. I feel bad for him, but hopefully when he grows up a bit, we can just send him off with some lunchmoney and call it a day.
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"Son, time to go." I called out to him from the sidelines.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Dohh..." He sighed before bidding all his friends farewell for the day, "See you guys later, I gotta go eat."
"Okay, see ya'." Peter understood his situation immediately.
"Yep, we can continue the game tomorrow, Cene." The other kids too seemed amicable.
It's really a blessing all these kids are so well-behaved. Maybe it's just while I'm here, but it really makes me happy to know he's not dealing with any bullies or the like. Peter too, I feel he's a good older role model for Cene to look up to. Any kid who's willing to learn is gonna grow up to do great things, and since they have each other to bounce their thoughts and ideas off of, I feel it'll only make them smarter faster.
"Father, did you get everything done on your end?" Allen approached us warily with a question.
"Don't worry about it, boy. Furthermore..." Adam ruffled up his hair, "I thought it was common courtesy to not tell everyone our family situation, especially when it's not a big deal."
"And I thought it was basic logic not to make your wife mad at you in the first place, you dope." I gently removed his hand from his son's head, "Now come on, proud father and husband, let's go."
"Who are we consulting now?" He groaned.
"The best guy I know for the job." I flashed him a thumbs up, "This guy is somehow doing what you're supposed to be doing and managing it two times over."
"A two-timer!?" Adam jolted.
"Worse." I pointed out, "An Issei."
Leaving Allen to continue to play with his friends as the three of us went back to drop Cene off at our house, we had briefly explained the situation to Cecily before she laughed at Adam and sent us off to go talk to the ladies' man himself.
"So that's the situation." I finished explaining everything to Issei and the girls as Adam sheepishly sat next to me on the sofa.
"Mhm, and you thought I was gonna be the best pick since I have not one, but two lovers?" Issei took a sip of the tea he brewed everyone, "I'm flattered, but you're overestimating me."
"Don't say that!" Eleanor immediately jumped to correct him, "You constantly make Othelia and me the happiest girls in the world! Lune was right to come to you for advice!"
"Modest as always, that's our Issei." Othelia too hopped on the "praise Issei" bandwagon, "If it'll make you stop fidgeting around all anxiously, Your Highness, you can at least rest easy when you hear us shouting his praises."
"N-No, it's not that..." Adam glanced around the spacious room, "I'm just wondering where you guys got the money for such a large home. I think it's even bigger than our mansion. Granted, our yard is larger."
"You're straying off topic." I smacked him on the back of the head.
"Again, Lune, I'm not really sure what to say." Issei sighed, "Of course, I do my best to make Othelia and Eleanor happy, but in terms of how I do it, I guess I'm not sure."
"Well, at least help us out on how to get Elaine to start talking with Adam again." I was about ready to give up.
"It's not something you can help with, though." Eleanor looked at me.
"Huh? Why not?"
"You don't get it?" Othelia added, "It's not your business, Lune. If Cecily and you got into a fight, you wouldn't be expecting Ed to help resolve it in your stead."
Ah, so that's what they meant. In other words, this is something Adam has to deal with himself, otherwise it'll be completely meaningless regardless of what he'd get her. But wait, he's done that before with Nat... Ah, I guess he might've just been postponing the issue instead of uprooting it from the base.
"Well, I can at least say this much." Issei shrugged, "Just going off of what you told me, I don't think you should buy her anything at all."
"That sounds counterproductive..." He grumped.
"I think..." Issei paused to choose his words wisely, "I think she'd just like it if you took the slightest interest in her own hobbies."
"Oh?"
"Spend some time with her in the garden, but really be there for her. Be curious and open-minded, ask a ton of questions and you'll see what I mean by this." He said with a warm smile, "Everyone loves talking about their favorite things in life, and all they can ever ask for is someone to share it with."
Yet another common Issei W! I don't know what I was expecting from the man who kept us awake all night with his nigh-daily threeways, but he really did end up being the right man for the job. Adam seems to have finally gotten what we were trying to tell him too, so it's a win for everybody.
"Thank you for this. I'll look into slowly making a change in my behavior." Adam shook everyone's hands with the same vigor he usually displayed.
"Yeah, take care, man." Issei smiled, "Don't rush."
With him gone, it was only us four standing at Issei's front porch.
"Wait, couldn't Ed have told him the same thing, Lune?" Issei turned to ask me, "Certainly, there's no other guy who takes his relationship more seriously."
"I think my brother would've said the wrong thing and botched it." Eleanor badmouthed her sibling without a hint of holding back, "He gets real heated and emotional over the smallest of things. Just remember when he went off on Nelly's friend during that party."
"I don't think that was a small thing, though..." I chuckled anxiously.
"Huh?" The girls tilted their heads at me, "It was just over food, though?"
Confused, I glanced at Issei with a similar gaze to their own. With a single facial expression, he had conveyed to me all that I needed to know. This was the moment I found out he kept the matter between Lem and Nelly's arrangement for that night a secret from the girls.
"This is why I chose you over Ed." I patted him on the back before going back to my house, "Alright, see you guys around! I'm gonna go eat something, cause I'm starving!"