Walking to the dormitory of Dimitri Uni, I couldn't help but notice just how fidgety mademoiselle was being. Of course, it's nothing new for her to be anxious or otherwise nervous, however this time she was just all kinds of weird. She was hunched over, as if terrified that a beast would pop up out of the corner or something, but in reality we were just in the male dorms. Could it be, is there actually some kind of monster in here that was recently spotted or reported? Now I'm no believer in the occult, especially since there is always a logical explanation for any weird and fantastic occurrences. Still, better to ask than to regret it later.
"Mademoiselle." I whispered in her ear so as not to spook her.
"Eep!" She got spooked, "What's the matter with you?! My ears are s-sensitive!"
"Why are you scared?" I decided to get straight to the point.
"Scared? Ah, no, that's not it." She muttered something, "I-It's just, I'm not in a place a girl is normally allowed to be in, is all..."
"Why not?"
"Huh? W-Well, it's the boys' dormitory, after all. Imagine if a guy was caught walking around in the girls' dormitory, it'd cause chaos."
"I don't think any of the guys I know would particularly mind having a girl peep in on them." I immediately thought of Issei as a prime example, "Besides, you got the professor's permission to show me to my cell-err, room."
"Cell?" She asked, "I was meaning to ask this earlier, but you seem like you've been through quite a lot before coming here. You mentioned you came from Entropa? How is the situation over there?"
She was obviously alluding to the fact I literally arrived from a wartorn land. She sounded oddly interested in hearing out my experiences, so I gladly regaled her with some of my happier tales.
"Oh, it was great!" I smiled, "I joined the army, we played football, I got to meet Auros, I got to kill king Chant..."
"Whoa whoa whoa!" She stopped me halfway, "Y-You met the Golden God!? He's real!? A-And what's this about killing king Chant?! Why did you phrase it like it was something you "got to do" on a vacation or something like that!?"
"I mean, I kind of was..." I thought of Edward for a second, "Oh, but I did lose quite a few things there as well."
Lune, his death still weighs on me immensely. Actually, it weighs so much so that I can't even think about Nelly or Cecily without being reminded of him by proxy. Edward too, he was all fine and chipper when we first met, but the war really did a number on his psyche. Though I think he'll be fine, he's strong when it counts.
"Huh... L-Let's change the topic to a more lighter one." She suggested before continuing, "L-Look at you! Already a Nonim! That's crazy!"
"Is it really all that?" I asked, "It's just a rank, nothing to be too excited about. Besides, that's still the ninth out of fifteen. I wanted more."
"More!?" She winced, "I-I'll have you know, monsieur, that even I am only but a mere Quartion! Still, be proud of what you have, because climbing a rank takes half a year each! And when you think about it, I started at DeciCin! You have no idea how greater my pain is that yours!"
A rank, huh? I really didn't praise it as much as I probably should have. There are fifteen ranks in total you may get whilst enrolled in any school on campus. Those being, in descending order: DeciCin, DeciQuart, DeciTres, DeciDux, DeciOn, Decim, Nonim, Heit, Septim, Sixim, Cinim, Quartion, Trezzion, Dein and Onum. If you can recall, mademoiselle here is a Quartion herself, the 4th on the pecking order, and I am still in ninth, a Nonim. Huh, this actually kind of reminds me of the Food Chain System in prison...
"So wait, will bigger ranks pick on me for being lesser than them?" I decided to ask.
"Huh? Banish the thought! Any form of bullying or abusing your rank will get you expelled immediately!" She then smiled, "Don't worry, you're safe here. Welcome to your new life in Uni!"
She wanted to say this whilst dramatically opening my dorm room, however the keys just weren't cooperating, leading to her fiddling about with it awkwardly before finally opening it to reveal...!
"Ah." A naked guy with nothing but a bath towel hanging on his hips stopped drinking his glass of milk to address us, "What the hell are you doing in my room!?"
"A-Ahh!" Mademoiselle quickly slammed the door before hiding behind me, "K-Kevin Papillon, I-I am sorry for suddenly opening the doors to your dorm room! I-I am Quartion Kiria Archambeau and am here to show your new roommate to his shared living enclosure! I-I promise I'm not a...!"
"Pervert." He opened the door, still making sure to calmly sip his milk.
"Noooooo!" She cried, "I'm not, okay!?"
"Haha, yeah, I know." He chuckled before reaching his hand out to give me a high five, "Professor Jethro told me all about you guys coming, I just wanted to get a good reaction or two. Archambeau never disappoints with her embarrassment, but you didn't even wince after seeing my almost naked body."
"I've seen my fair share." I uttered as I shook his hand, much to the both of their confusion.
"O-Okay?" He seemed weirded out somehow, "In any case, come on in, guys! I got some more milk that's just dying to get drank!"
"O-Oh no, I couldn't possibly enter a b-boy's room..." Mademoiselle seemed offput, but Kevin here wasn't having it.
"It's either that, Archambeau, or you get caught lurking the boys' dorms all on your own." He swung the doors repeatedly in an inviting matter, "C'mooon, you know you want to~!"
"Urk, f-fine... B-But I'm not doing this because I want to or anything!" She made it crystal clear.
"Haha, yeah, sure~!" He teased as the door slammed shut behind us.
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***
"So, what do you think of the place, guy?" He presented the room to us, "I didn't have time to tidy up, but then again, I'd be lying to you if I had it all spic-and-span only to dirty it up just a week later or something."
"That is... honest of you." I looked around, "Ah, where are my manners, I am Nonim Meil Deram. Pleasure to meet you."
"Manners? Dude, I'm talking to you in the pigsty that is our room with nothing but a towel on. Just chillax." He shrugged and kicked back, "Though, the pleasure's all mine! As you heard from your little lady friend here, I'm DeciCin Kevin Papillon, an up-and-coming scholar who's gonna make all the rounds one day!"
"DeciCin..." I felt a small part of me got smug all of a sudden, though I quickly hid it before anyone noticed, "Nice to meet you, Kevin. Ah, I suppose I shouldn't be calling you by name, though."
"Why not?" He sounded genuinely confused, "Oh don't tell me! Don't tell me this girl told you that stupid bullcrap like "If you call someone by first name, you're bound by fate" or however it went?"
"Is that not true?" I said as we both looked at the bright red mademoiselle eagerly chugging her milk, only to choke on it and spit it all out.
"C-Cough, ack! T-That's not...! It doesn't go like that!" She slammed the table out of frustration, "M-Monsieur Papillon! It's rude to call someone you're not yet well-acquainted with by first name! There is no fate binding you speak of!"
"She's really into romance novels." He pointed to her with his thumb as he explained her whole deal to me, "Especially the kind where the handsome detective and his sweet assistant get together at the end of the story..."
"Stooop!" She blushed even more, "Shut up, Kevin! No one likes a snitch!"
"You just called him by his first name?" I furrowed my brows, "So does that mean you two are well-acquainted enough to do so?"
They both looked at me with empty stares, only for Kevin to start loudly chuckling. It seems I was right, as these two just so happened to be childhood friends. What an interesting twist of fate to have the both of them enroll in the same school? How nice.
"Yeah, Kiria and I are the beeeeestest of buddies!" He gave her an over-the-shoulder hug, "Though she wasn't at all like the Kiria I knew from when we were kids. Isn't that right, Kiria?"
"Mn...!" She couldn't take it anymore, "Stop calling me Kiria! Y-You're not allowed to!"
At her sudden volume raising shriek he seemed a bit dejected but still continued bickering nonetheless. Looks like I got unlucky with the friends I was dealt, as they don't seem to be on the best terms themselves. That's bad, I can't be good friends with the both of them if they don't mend their own friendship!
"Aww, why not?" He played with her hair a bit, "It's a cute name, y'know?"
"O-Only people I give permission to can call me that, okay!?" She got up to leave, "Speak any more of this and I'll report you for sexual harassment!"
Slamming the door shut, she didn't even give either one of us the time to try and calm her down. Nice going, Kevin, now you're in some super deep shit, to quote Edward.
"Sigh, sorry about that..." He looked a bit sad, "Back when we were kids, she was this super joyful and happy girl. We used to play in the fountains all the time together, and it was overall just a blissful time. Though ever since she enrolled in this damned University, the girl I liked no longer existed. It was as if she died, just like that."
"Huh... Wait, liked?" I furrowed my brow, "But wait, never mind that. Why did she enroll in the first place?"
"You really don't care for the emotional side of life, so you, Meil?" He chuckled a bit melancholically, "But yeah, she enrolled the moment she turned 13. Said she wanted to see what campus had to offer. I even helped her collect the funds for it, and we somehow made it just in time. Heh, now look at the thanks I get for all those labor-filled days..."
Poor Kevin, looks like all he wanted was to see the girl he liked be happy. It's a shame how he too couldn't have joined her the moment she enrolled herself. Huh, wait... If she's 22, and she enrolled when she turned 13...?
"It takes 5 and a half years of studying here to get to Quartion, so that means she must've failed her rank-up exams quite a lot, no?"
"Hm? Oh, I thought so too, but apparently she first-tried all the rank-up exams leading up to Quartion, however she stopped at that rank for whatever reason and refuses to rank up any higher. Though when I asked why, she got all feisty just like you saw now."
"Mhm. I am sorry to hear that, Kevin, it will be alright." I rather weirdly tried patting him on the back, "Alright now, let me show you the trick to getting to mademoiselle's heart!"
"Huh? You'd do that for me?" He seemed hopeful, "N-No, rather, there is such a thing as a cheat-sheet for women?"
"Yep, and it all starts with cleaning this room up." I threw the dirty sock lying on the ground near me, "Girls absolutely despise untidy men, and you sir, are untidy."
"Will do, boss!" He jumped up from his seat, his towel undoing itself from the sudden movement, "Ah."
"There's that, too." I pointed at his member, "Women love a guy that's got more than a towel on at all times. Trust me, a pair of pants will do you wonders."
Hastily hiding his crotch from my Eyes, he tried scooting down to pick his towel back up, expecting me to look away or something. Though when he noticed I wasn't gonna budge, he sighed and walked to the bathroom to put on some proper pants. Seriously, back in prison, we were punished with being naked in our room, and he just does it recreationally? The world truly is filled with all sorts of people...