Last night I slept surprisingly well. I woke up, ate the breakfast Lee gave me, and talked about the current state of the gangs with him. The other bandits didn’t quite like him interacting with me as much, and he was often lead away from me for whatever reason. No idea why, though, not like he had the keys to the cage, anyway.

“So from what I’m getting from this,” Lee repeated my words, “you, your girlfriend and your best friend are currently the heads of the largest gang in Great Hiana? Come on, man, I wanna believe you but you’re making it hard for me.”

I understand it’s difficult to believe, what with Ed being a General, but I have no qualms about Cecily being capable of standing at the top. I mean, if she can quell Nelly’s night terrors with such ease and diligence, a couple hundred gang members is nothing for her! In any case, Lee actually called out some of the bandits with a Can you believe this guy? sort of tone, but was utterly shocked when he realized what I was saying might be true.

“ARA Gang? Don’t tell me that kid’s a gang member!? We’re in deep trouble if he’s a valued member there, those guys took over the entire underworld in almost a year!” said one bandit.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them too.” Another bandit added onto the first one’s banter, “I heard the Generals are quite weird as well, despite their adequacy. Some say the Generals, Aaron, Maxwell and Jorgen, made some kids their Vice-Generals!”

Did I miss a page? In what chapter did this happen? Their sources are quite skewed towards lies as well, I see.

“What!? Aaron, the leader of the legendary Blue Lions Gang, working together with Bilgam Brothers? That’s unheard of! What happened to Jean?” the first bandit spoke up.

“Yeah,” I slowly joined the conversation, “about that…”

As I explained everything that happened from the beginning, starting from us instigating a gang war between BilBros and Blue Lions, they all sat around my cage, listening intently to every word I said. They mostly kept quiet, safe from a few people who shouted stuff like This guy’s full of shit!, but they were all shushed pretty quickly by the others who were, in fact, willing to listen to my story ‘til the end.

As I retold everything without holding back, I even had some of my audience tear up near the end. Finally, as I told them about how I got drafted into exploring the mysterious dungeon in Sibirus, I finished the story off with a cliffhanger (much to their dismay).

“What?! You can’t end it there! What happens next?!” They all shouted out, “When will you reunite with your loved ones? What happened to Ed? Gahh, I can’t wait for the next volume, oh wait, this isn’t a book! Gahhhhh!”

“…You guy’s serious?” I asked them just in case.

“Oh come on!” a bandit spoke up, “At least tell us what happens in the story next! We gotta know!”

This proved that they were stupid beyond human comprehension. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A buncha’ grown-ass men gawking at my autobiography, wondering what happens after the present. You can’t make this shit up.

“How about you release me, and then when I get back from the dungeon, I’ll tell you all about it!” I tried pleading.

“Nah.” They all spoke out in unison, “You think we’re dumb?”

Yes, in fact.

“Hey!” Lem shouted out to them, “Get your asses over here! Stop talking with that lying idiot and help me set the tables!”

“What did you say, Lemmy?” Lee got up with an angry smile, “Did I hear you swearing just now?”

Lem immediately realized his mistake as he tried to cover it up, spouting things like Ass isn’t a swear word! It’s the name of an animal! and other such things, but alas, he got a good spanking from Lee and had his grounding time doubled for it. Bet he won’t do that again…

Just as Lee was about to leave me alone for the day, he handed me a neat looking rock to throw around the cage, as I had no other way to pass the time. It’s a nice gest, but he could’ve given me something more modern, like a book or something…

Just then I thought to use the rock to break the lock on the cage forcefully, but no matter how many clanks and dinks I made on the lock, it simply wouldn’t budge.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

***

Waking up on my second day here, I thought of various ways to talk my way out. First I tried bartering my rock for something more useful, hoping to eventually trade my way to a knife, which I could use to cut through the wooden bars, but it didn’t quite work out…

“The hell would I need some random rock for?” A bandit responded to my offer, “I get you’re bored, but this is just sad!” He said as he walked away.

No worries, I’ll try the next guy that approaches.

“Hey sir, I happen to have this Runic Stone on me, would you be willing to trade it for say… a simple hammer? I’d say it’s a great deal!” I said, trying to put on my most believable merchant face.

“Oh?” the bandit seemed interested, “And what, pray tell, can this Runic Stone do exactly?”

I immediately started to explain the concept of Runic Stones, masking the fact it’s just a simple rock as I accentuated the pros whilst avoiding the cons (just like a true salesman!)

He immediately started laughing upon hearing my commercial review on it, “Phah! If it can grant you flight, why not use it yourself to escape?” He asked smugly.

“I’m in a cage. Even a bird can’t escape when it’s trapped in a cage.” I said as a matter of fact.

He stopped to reevaluate his point, before ultimately leaving in a fit of rage due to overstimulating his brain. Just then, I caught a glimpse of a young, naïve and excited pair of eyes peek out at me from the bushes. There’s only one kid in this base, so calling him out was a simple way to get his attention.

“Hey, Lem!” I called out, “Ya’ interested?”

“Whuh-How did you see me!?” He jumped out of the bushes.

“It’s the magic of the Runic Stone helping me, you see! It allows for foresight! Every adventurer has to have one readily on him at all times, it’s a no-brainer to have it, so what do you say? Want it?” I offered the rock to him in good faith.

He quickly snatched it out of my hands before sprinting away from my arms reach, “Haha! Gotcha’ now! With this, I won’t ever be grounded again! Muahahahahaha!”

I kinda felt bad I got my only trading chip stolen away from me, but I had fun watching that little pipsqueak try his best to fly from the ground (and fail miserably). Lee saw this spectacle unfold, before gifting me another cool rock he found on the ground, this time with some paper as a bonus. What’s next, scissors? We playing Rochambeau or something?

***

Third day was just as boring as the previous two, but at least these guys had some decency to them, as the food they fed me was quite good. I actually sort of prefer it to the war rations we ate back at ARA (don’t tell the chefs, though…)

I asked Lee when I was gonna get released, he replied Soon before shifting away. I didn’t think anything of it, but the chunk of metal he handed me left me confused. I think Lee might be… a bit weird, why else would he be handing me these weird, arbitrary items otherwise?

I looked at the three items laid out in front of me as I pondered on what to do. My first thought was to use the rock to chisel away at the metal chunk, thus making a semi-sharp knife from it, but then what does he want me to do with the paper? Or is he just handing me random things so as not to add suspicion and just telling me to do whatever I want? I don’t know him well enough, so there is a possibility he’s just giving me this random stuff for no reason at all, though…

“Well, best get to work then…” I said as I grabbed the rock to hopefully make a blade out of the metal chunk.

At the first dink, I actually missed and hit my finger full-force with the rock, causing me to yelp in pain. After rolling around in pain for a bit, I tried again, this time striking a bit more precisely. And just like that I struck the rock against the metal and created… fire?

Fire? Wait no, just a spark… Wait! A spark?!?! I thought as I looked at the piece of paper. Right, I can free myself and distract the bandits by making a spark with these two and then further spreading the sparks onto the piece of paper, thus making fire! Lee, you’re a genius!

In just a couple more strikes, I managed to set flame to the grass around me, with it quickly spreading to the nearby trees… and the cage I was in.

ShitshitshitshitSHIT! I cried out as I tried my best to avoid the fire as I waited for the cage to open up. Just as I was ready to yell out for help, realizing things are getting dicey, I heard a child’s voice scream out.

“Everyone!” Lem shouted out, “That prisoner started a forest fire, he wants to burn our home down!”

When I heard him call this place his home, I felt a wave of regret hit me, but I also knew Lee wanted this, so there was no other choice. Cecily and Nelly are waiting for me at home, and I wanna get this over with as quickly as possible so I can give them both a kiss on the cheek!

I saw a slight opening form from the burnt wooden cage, and I definitely didn’t wanna miss out on the opportunity, so I jumped out. Alas, a piece of scorched wood burned me as I was making my exit, which reminded me of the day Carter and I tried escaping the burning building. My eyes started tearing up for whatever reason, and my body got extremely nauseous, leading to me puking out my breakfast just from remembering that day. Looks like I still haven’t gotten over it just yet…

I didn’t have time to look behind me, for all I knew there could’ve been people troubled by the fire, but I didn’t care. It’s their problem now, they deserve it for not letting me out.

I ran and ran until I finally made it out of the forest and into a nearby city, no idea how it’s called though. I quickly checked my pockets after remembering it, but thankfully Nelly’s picture was still there, if a bit scorched on the edges, but I could still make out her likeness, which was good enough for me.

An old man who I was passing looked at me weird, which made me a bit self-conscious, so I looked at my reflection in a nearby window and…

“It’s… gone.” I said, touching the burnt end of my ponytail, or at least what’ left of it.

“The fire took something important after all. It's burned the entire back of my head! I'm gonna need to visit a barber now, and I don't have any money for it! Crap, and Cecily liked that ponytail, too…”