"Alright everyone, we have arrived at Roma, Italy." The captain announced on the speaker, "Please watch your step while departing the ship, and don't forget your luggage!"

"It took a while longer, but going by luxury cruise ship has it's own benefits." Freddy said as he finished stuffing his face with the last of the shrimp he'd been eating the entire time here, "I got to rest up properly, so we can go straight to the Colosseum instead of finding a hotel. Besides, you can't drink expensive wines when you're the designated driver, haha!"

"Glad you're enjoying yourself, Gods know you've earned it." I chuckled.

"Gods? As in, plural?" Juavez asked.

"Geez, would it kill you to let the guy believe in what he wants?" Sandy sighed, "Not everyone has to be Christian."

"I don't want him to be Christian, I want him to pick a religion that actually exists!"

"And he picked Prylopism or whatever it was!"

Prylosism, but let's not poke the angry tiger. Sigh, at least Sandy's accepting, but seriously, this is the first and only time I felt shamed for my religion. Heck, I've never made it a huge part of my personality to begin with, but could it be that the people here just value religion more? Maybe it's a culture thing, who knows. Issei and Freddy seem equally as annoyed at Juavez whenever he changes the topic to religion too, so I guess it's not just me. Either way, it's annoying, and I'd like it if he could look past something so insignificant.

"Ah, surprise passengers, you stay here for a bit with me." The captain rushed to our group as we were about to get off the ship, "We didn't mind taking you aboard obviously, but before we can let you roam, well, Rome, heh..."

"What do you want now, dude?" Issei asked, "We already paid our tickets here, so don't tell me you want even more money?"

"Heavens, no! A-As you've said, the debt is paid and everything is thankfully settled with zero issues." He explained, "You've paid for your stay and have hopefully enjoyed your time here, but before you can leave, I'd just like to ask for you to leave a positive review on our website."

"Ah, gotcha." I gave him a thumbs up, "I'll leave a letter of recommendation as soon as we find a message board."

"...England?" Sandy turned to me as everyone went quiet, "Umm, message board?"

"Does he mean like a forum or something?" Even Juavez seemed confused.

"Ha-ha! Luneski's been playing way too many JRPGs recently!" Freddy loudly proclaimed, patting me heavily on the back as if to help cover up my blunder, "Message boards, he says! Ha-ha..."

"You do realize he meant on our phones, right?" Issei smirked at me, "As in, OUR technology?"

"A-Ah! Right!" I nodded fervently as soon as I got the memo, "I-Isn't that what I said!? The message boards on the phone, yeah! We'll do just that, cap! Now we gotta hurry, so...!"

"Hold it!" He still wouldn't let us go.

"What!?"

"Your vehicle is still on our helipad." He sheepishly pointed to the upper floor, "Would you like us to valet it off or...?"

"Oh." Freddy looked up before taking out his keys, "I'll do it, thanks."

Sigh, that was scary. The captain was a kind person, don't get me wrong, but getting stopped like this would scare anyone. Worst part is I expected something like this to happen, I just knew the captain would have SOMETHING to say about us showing up without warning. I'm just glad he didn't ask for our passports or any other documents, otherwise we'd have a whole slew of other issues to deal with. Sigh, but well, I guess this is a pretty embarrassing welcome to Italy. At least we made it in one piece...

"Where to now?" Juavez asked, "And you, amigo, stop sulking."

"How can I? I totally embarrassed myself in front of everyone!" I cried.

"JRPGs, eh? Well, I guess you ARE friends with JP here." Sandy alluded to Issei.

"Who cares about that?" Issei rolled his Eyes, "Let's just wait for uncle to find a proper parking spot before going to the Colosseum."

"Wait, I'm interested in what you guys have been playing!" Juavez sounded interested, "No gatekeeping!"

"Aren't you a Brazilian dancer? Brazilian dancers don't play JRPGs!"

"Oof, what's with the stereotypes, amigo?" Juavez smirked, "Are you saying I don't spend my days on anything else but dancing on the streets? I'm a man as well, you know?"

"Oh, so only men can enjoy games now?" Sandy got fussy, "You know, I'm quite the gamer myself, believe it or not."

"Hey, what's the latest Sims again?" Issei wondered.

"Gasp, how rude, JP!"

Gah, these three are relentless... And damned annoying. They're arguing over who gets to play games? What the hell, if you wanna play, then just play! You can be man, woman, Brazilian or hell, even a platypus! if you enjoy something, then just goddamned do it! Ugh, I can't deal with this... Hm? That family over there...?

"Joj, ljebe..." A man who looked to be a father of two boys said to his equally anxious wife, "Eto ti kad tražiš samo cvijeće neko!"

"Nemoj izmišljat, ti samo hoćeš direkt u Kolosej!" The wife bickered back, "Došao si sa porodicom na odmor, daj malo smiri i prestani samo žuriti svugdje!"

Ah, a family quarrel. It's nothing too serious, the wife is angry at her husband for just wanting to go straight to the Colosseum instead of taking in the moment with the rest of them, and the husband seems to dislike the fact he's being led around everywhere by her. The kids are acting a bit strangely, too. The elder son is scared stiff after witnessing his parents argue out in the street, and the younger one is too young to even notice. But what caught my attention isn't the topic, but rather the language they're speaking.

"Excuse me, brother." I approached them with a carefree smile, "Treba li pomoć?"

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Cardinic, oh how I've missed you~! I knew this world had it, I just knew it! Ah, but maybe it's not called Cardinic here, just like how Entropic is English. Well, who cares! Judging by these two's bewildered reaction, it seems they're just as surprised after finding a Cardinic speaker in Italy as I am! And by the way, Cardinic isn't Italian, cause I heard some locals talking on the cruise ship and it sounded totally different. That sounded more like Simpletonese than anything, but I don't think it's that either. Maybe a dialect or just a totally new language altogether.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

"Ee, i ti si naš?" The husband seemed relieved to talk with someone he can converse with fluently.

"Vaš sam." I joked, "Nego, šta je bilo?"

"Ma ništa, drugar. Pravo da ti kažem, izgubili smo se."

You say you're lost, but I could tell that much before even asking you, dude. The issue is, what're you looking for? Is it the Colosseum? It's right behind you, y'know? Like, literally, it's a World Wonder for a reason, and the reason is it's towering size. From where we're at, you can clearly see it if you just look up at the horizon.

"I vi ste na odmor došli?" The wife smiled at me, "Mi smo iz Sarajeva, a vi...?"

"Sarajevo? J-Ja, i mi isto!" I lied about where we came from, "Dobro, staro Sarajevo, šta da kažem!"

"Znači Sarajlije smo svi." The husband smiled, "Dobro, nek nismo makar sami. Ovi Italijani pravo smoriše s onim jezikom njihovim. Ništa da skontaš."

"Jelde? Evo i mene zbunjuje."

Alright, translation intermission! They said they're from Sarajevo, and since I lied and said I'm from there as well, they seemed excited to see someone from their hometown. Wait, let me just check my map again... Ah, Sarajevo is the capital of Bosnia and Herzegovina, which is across the sea from Italy. But wait, is it the capital of Bosnia or Herzegovina? Which is it? How odd... Anyways, right now we're just making smalltalk, talking about how difficult Italian is for foreigners. The tension seems to have lowered significantly as well.

"Nećemo vas zadržavat predugo, brate." The husband finished up the conversation, "Žena je tražila neku cvjećaru da kupi koješta za majku. Znaš kako je."

"De začepi!" The wife hissed.

"Haha, znam kako je." I figuratively stepped in between them, "Mada meni je inače suprotno. Inače ja vodam ženu svugdje, ali izbalansiramo nekako."

"A to i mi hoćemo." The husband groaned.

They're kinda on edge, I see. Maybe it was the long travel time, maybe it's just their first time going on a trip here, or it's just the default answer of their kids misbehaving. Though, looking at the tykes, I doubt that's the case, since they haven't uttered a single word since I approached these guys.

"Hajte, pomirite se." I winked at the kiddos as I concocted a nice plan, "Ako tražite cvjećaru, imate baš lijepu ondje."

"Ali nije ta...!" The wife tried to speak up, but I didn't let her.

"Išao sam tu ja, garantujem da je kvalitetno." I said with confidence, "Kupite tu buket i za kusur uzmete djeci neki slatkiš. Šta vas dvoje kažete na to?"

"Može!" The younger child nodded happily.

"Da, može to." The older one glanced at his parents for permission before nodding as well.

Yeah, that's it. No more fighting, geez, the kids were about to get a heart attack each, y'know? Well, then again, I might've just screwed them over a bit more, but if all goes to plan, they should be fine. For those of you that don't speak Cardinic, my plan involved playing the role of the experienced traveler, so I just lied and told them the nearest flower shop is the best one. The wife obviously wanted the best, but it's hard to find the best when you don't even know the standard here. She just needed reassurance from someone confident, and that person just so happened to be me. I'm sure the husband saw through me immediately, but he's smart enough to keep quiet. Finally, I reminded them both that they have kids to appease on top of all this by suggesting they buy them some treats, which finally set them back into responsible parent mode. With that mission accomplished, I happily waved them off and went back to my own group.

"The hell, you speak Serbian?" Sandy asked as soon as I got back to them.

"Oh, so that's what it's called here." I shrugged, "Yeah, but that's about it, really."

"I'm surprised. You never really struck me as someone willing to learn another person's culture, given your close-minded beliefs." Juavez smirked.

"Close-minded? Look, just cause I worship Gods that actually exist...!"

"Hey, hey!" Issei stepped in between the two of us, "You two better not start breakdancing at each other in the middle of the street! You really don't wanna embarrass us any more than you already did, otherwise I'll personally kick both of your asses."

"Hmph, you?" Juavez couldn't take him seriously.

"Just you wait 'til I get my Dropshot back!" Issei threatened, "I'd like to see you dance your capoeira with a giant arrow through your chest."

"Capoeira is the master of evasion, amigo! You wouldn't be able to hit me even at point blank range with your sluggish weapons!"

"Sluggish!? S-Sure it takes a while to recharge, but I can use it at any distance when it does!" Issei panicked before recomposing himself, "That's the Dropshot, baby! And if you want, I'll gladly show you how it's used! Lune, Materialize a giant bow right now!"

"I'm not doing that." I declined immediately.

"Oh come on!"

"Yo guys, I finally found a parking spot. This place is a damned maze..." Freddy ultimately approached us, "What'd I miss?"

"JP is asking for an ass-whooping from Brazil." Sandy remarked.

"The other way around, woman! I just need Lune to Materialize a giant bow and arrow and...!"

"It's good you came when you did, Freddy." I smiled, "We'd be bickering here like a young married couple for ages had you taken any longer, you know."

"Married couple?" He furrowed his brows, "Luneski, just what are you on about?"

Ma ne znaš ti, brate...