So to recap: After my dear younger brother tried to kill me as revenge for the prank I pulled on him last night, I had to think fast in order to get out of it alive. And think fast I did, cause I Materialized a bunch of nearby pig blood to serve as an impromptu cushion that softened the blow of the giant swinging tied up ball of books he threw at me. Now the kicker here is that the nearby pig's blood was too nearby, cause I accidentally took it from our pigs in the barn and subsequently killed 2 pigs as a result. My father, after seeing this, was furious, though he still thinks Latham was the one who did it, so now he's punishing both of us by making us chop up and prepare the dead animals before they rot so they don't get wasted.
"Okay, now that you finally look the part, time for you to act like a fine pair of butchers as well!" Dad clapped once he saw us put on the brown leather gown that protects our clothes from staining, "First of all, anyone know what this is?"
"A butcher's knife." Latham was the first to answer.
"Yeah, it's what your dad uses for work." He replied, proudly inspecting the worn blade's edge, "Now this one's special, y'know. This here knife was passed down from generation to generation ever since your great grandfather's days."
"Yeah, it definitely looks like it." I grimaced, "There's no way that cutting anything with that rusty piece of crap is in any way sanitary."
"You take that back!" Latham snapped at me, "Dad only prepares the finest meat with his legendary tools! Besides, no one ever got sick from our meat, so it obviously means it works!"
"Well now, Lune's not wrong." Dad put the rusty knife back on display on the wall before pulling out a brand new one from under the table, "It's been passed down for generations, but that doesn't mean we use it. I just wanted to show it off to my boys, really."
The old man is being really annoying all of a sudden, to the point where it even got Latham to mirror the same deadpanned face at him at the same time. Seriously, when he isn't screaming or laughing like a hyperactive maniac, we really do resemble each other, which only serves to irk me more, but I guess that just proves we really are brothers by blood. Maybe dad... wanted me to notice that? Did he make up the story behind that rusty knife just to make us both roll our Eyes at him and hopefully come to this very conclusion? Nah, dad's not the type of person to think that many steps ahead. What he says is what he does, and vice versa, meaning he definitely just wanted to flex the family heirloom on us.
"Alright, help me lift the pork on the table." Dad ordered.
Doing as we were told, the three of us walked up to the giant hog and ducked down to try and lift it. Noticing that dad's posture was a bit different than our own, we had suspected that something was about to go wrong, which eventually happened anyways.
"Ack!" My hand slipped.
"W-Whoa!" Latham too dropped the pig, leading to dad just giving up on holding it all by himself as he tossed his side nonchalantly.
"Welp, as you can see, your way ain't gonna cut it." Dad laughed at his own pun, "Grabbing it by the legs will give you more stability grip wise, but that puts you in an awkward position when it comes to actually lifting the damned thing. You're lucky you didn't fall over it with the way things were headed."
"What would happen if we did?" I asked.
"You'd be the guy that atomic slammed a pig carcass." Dad chuckled.
Oh, that's fair. I can see why you wouldn't wanna be called that. Still, if we can't grab it by the legs, then how? As Latham and I individually pondered this exact question, thinking up all sorts of different parts to grab onto, ranging from the head, to the tail, and even for a split second considering that other extremity the male pigs had, yet nothing seemed like it'd do the trick. In the end, we both came up empty handed as we just gave up and asked dad for the correct answer.
"Pshh! It'd be too easy if I gave you the right answer. You're both old enough to figure it out without me." He began leaving the room.
"Oi, where you goin', pop?" Latham beckoned.
"Call me over when the pigs are on the table." He smiled and waved, "But don't take too long, otherwise the meat might expire!"
And thus, we were left alone again, forced to resolve the issue by way of teamwork. Well, that's what dad thinks, but in reality this is just another chance for me to prank Latham. Right, how do we go about this...
"Burn." I muttered, putting my left hand out as I cast Fireball in front of the two dead pigs.
"W-Whoa, fire! No, lava!?" Latham backed away immediately, "How are you doing that!? And that voice again...!"
Yep, that terrifying and sinister sounding deep voice is indeed mine, though it's not because I have some good vocals on me. In fact, I remember once while Issei and I were screwing around with Materialize, he had me create two types of gases - Helium, and sulphur hexafluoride. Now I've never really studied the elements, but after he told me as many facts about both of them that he knew off the top of his head, I could roughly understand enough to Materialize it myself. Now the trick here is to Materialize said gases inside yourself, or rather, right in front of your face, so that you can immediately inhale it. Doing so will either raise or lower your voice's pitch respectively. Now that we're all caught up on the secrets behind the magician's act, we can properly begin our next prank!
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"I am but a primordial being." I said with my deepened voice, "Have you not learnt this already, child?"
"Tch, I don't know what you're doing, nor how you're doing it, but I know you're just pranking me." He rolled his Eyes, "If you really did kill my brother and take his form, then you would've already done the same to me. Hell, you even said you killed everyone else last night, but they're all still here."
"Child, don't you realize it?" I asked, still holding the Fireball above the pigs to roast them to perfection, "Skin is everything. It protects you from the harsh and cruel world. It keeps you warm. With skin, everything is possible. Even creating puppets out of the deceased..."
Hearing this, he slightly quivered from the possibility I presented to him. The thought of all those people he saw last night and this morning being nothing more than mere husks, empty shells even, had made just enough sense for his theory to get debunked. And thus, suddenly finding himself defenseless and in a state of shock, his logic once again bent under the rule of fear.
"S-So why don't you just kill me, then?" He smirked, trying so desperately to curb his fear, "If you're some evil monster that steals people's skin and turns them into puppets, then why am I the only one you left alive? Huh, riddle me that!"
"So naive... Understandably, a child's mind would be hard pressed to find reason in our logic. Our way of life." I thought to further expand the lore of this made-up being of legend, "Tell me, child, how many people have you met in your short life? Too many to count, I'm sure. And yet, have you ever pondered the notion that they may not be human either?"
"H-Huh?" He backed away even more now.
"Do you truly believe that in this world, the bipedal beings you see around aren't puppets as well?" I suggested, inching ever so closer to him until I backed him into a corner, "That those 'puppets' never procreated to make more 'puppets'? Tell me, can you truly feel your skin and say that YOU aren't a skinwalker either?"
"I-I'm..." He actually pinched his skin, which almost made me break character to laugh at him, "N-No! I'm a human, goddammit! Created by Prylos, born from my ma and pop!"
"Is that so..." I noticed the pig meat was finally done cooking, so I pulled off some of the pig meat and took a bite out of it as a final form of intimidation, "Then, see for yourself. Try the skin, and if you truly are human, you will not taste anything but visceral disgust..."
News flash, that's also a lie. And a rather obvious one at that. Most people would agree that the juiciest part of a pig is, in fact, the skin. Or, as it's also referred to - pork rind. When cooked, it's simply delectable to anyone born with taste buds, skinwalker or not. Now he's definitely tried pork rind before, surely. He IS the son of a butcher, after all, which is only adding to the suspense in his head right now. Yeah, if you've been enjoying something you were supposed to find disgusting all your life, then you're obviously gonna be scared out of your mind. Essentially, I've made him question if he's actually been living his whole life as a skin eating, cannibalistic monster. Wow, when I put it like that, I kinda feel like an actual monster myself.
"I ain't a skinwalker!" He slapped the pork rind out of my hand before running off again, "I'm human, HUUUMAAAANNNN!!!"
"Seriously, can't leave you boys alone together for one sec... What in the Sam hell is this?" Dad stepped back inside only to see me, alone in the room, eating some nicely cooked pork, "Where's Latham? No wait, you cooked the meat?"
"Yeah, thought it'd be a waste not to with such high quality meat at our disposal." I shot back a wry grin, "Looks like Latham didn't wanna stick around though. Said he was gonna go out to play or something."
"What?! That damned brat...!" Dad got pissed, "Well, at least you're responsible, Lune. Thanks for cooking the meat, I'll go call the girls over so we can have a proper breakfast then. But ohhh, when that Latham comes back, he's gonna be grounded for a week-no, a MONTH straight!"
"Now now, boys will be boys." I kept the adult older brother act up for just a bit more, "I don't think it's alright to punish him like that. It's too much."
"Got something better in store?" He asked.
"Yeah, something that'll at least help out around the house, and make him productive." I smiled, "Put him on cleaning duty every day for the barn. That way the animals are happy, and he gets to learn a bit more about what it means to be a butcher!"
"Ah, I see. Smart as always, Lune!" Dad patted me on the back before taking some pork rind off the roast, "Mm, and a good cook too. Though I have to ask how you managed to get a fire started here..."
"Oh, y'know..." I winked, "You learn all sorts of things when you travel the world like I did."
"Right on." Dad nodded, "I still think you shouldn't have left though."
"Then you'd only have two troublesome Lathams in the house." I joked, "The house would've turned upside down if I ended up like him!"
Chuckling, he left to go call the other tenants into the barn so we could all enjoy my homecooked meal together. Well, minus my younger brother. And with that, I'd call this yet another successfully executed perfect prank! With just one simple prank, I managed to skip dad's punishment, scare Latham away for the second time and get my revenge, prepare a tasty meal for everyone AND get Latham on dad's naughty list yet again. Heheh, that's what he gets for ruining my parents' invitation to the wedding!