“Yaaaawn!” I audibly announced, “Good morning!”

“Eh, what time is it?” Shaid rubbed his Eyes, “I’m starving. What’s for breakfast?”

“You assholes!” Olya threw us out of bed, “You two’ve been sleeping for an entire day. An entire day! If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought you two had died from exhaustion or some shiet!”

“Ah, Olya!” I finally addressed the elephant in the room, “Be a bro and make us some breakfast, would ya’?”

“Make you some breakfast? Do you know who you’re talking to?” He pointed to himself, “I can’t cook shiet. Look, we have the money, so why not just go to a restaurant?”

“Go to a restaurant? When the pantry is full? That’s just being wasteful.”

“The pantry is…? Whoa, you’re right! It’s filled to the brim!” He gawked at the sheer amount of food in the cabinet, “But still, I can’t cook, so there’s no use in asking me.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll make us something to eat. Don’t complain if it’s bad though.” Shaid rolled his Eyes, “Sit down at the table while I think of something.”

“Oh? I never expected you to be a good cook, too.” Olya teased, “Shaid, you surprise me every day. Although, since you’re so inclined, I guess you’d make a good wife with that skillset.”

“Who you calling a wife, asshole?!” Shaid waved the steel pan over his head in a threatening manner, “Write that down in your notes and I’ll spit in your food!”

“Oh, that’s right.” I recalled, “Everyone calls you the Revisor, and your skill with weaving words together are certainly undeniable, but we’ve never actually seen you write anything in those Traveling Notes.”

“You wanna see it that badly?” His eyebrows flew up in astonishment, “I mean, it’s nothing special, but here. I’ve kind of been slacking on writing anything down lately, since I really don’t have the motivation for it. Of course, this goes without saying, but I still haven’t written anything about you guys either.”

“What?” Shaid shouted as the eggs hit the pan, the oil sizzling from the difference in temperature, “Well what are you waiting for? This is your job, after all. Go on, while I’m making breakfast, start writing!”

“I can’t do it when someone’s looking!” Olya protested.

“Oh come on! What are you, a kid who can’t piss around his friends?” I jeered, “Just take the damned quill and start with our descriptions! Come on, we’ll even help you.”

“Ah, alright…” He groaned as he opened the next empty page of the notebook, “Let’s see here - Schnell…?”

“Douglas.” I replied, “Schnell Maverick Douglas.”

“Huh, cool name.” He wrote it down, “Alright, what I usually do next is make a quick sketch of the person in question, since it’s more economical that way.”

“A picture says a thousand words, eh amigo?” Shaid added as he tossed in some seasoning, “But how are you at drawing?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call myself a master of the craft…” He tried to sound humble, “But I’m sure you’ll be enthralled by my previous works.”

Handing me the notebook, I quickly sifted through all the pages that featured illustrations of the various people he met along his travels. Even still, I guess he wasn’t really being humble, but rather just super, super bad at art. Seriously, calling these guys glorified stickmen would offend any actual artists of the world.

“Seya Saint? What the hell is that thing?” I questioned him, “Why is his entire body black from the waist down if it says here that he’s a pureblood Secundian?”

“Those are priest robes! He’s a priest!” He defended his art piece, “Oh, but who cares about him. Go over to the next page of his wife.”

Doing as I was told, I flipped the page over to see... Whatever the fuck this is. Again, completely black scribbles over the body that apparently meant religious attire, which I can only imagine means that she’s a nun or something, based off of context clues. Her Eyes took up like half her goddamned face, and her nose was nowhere to be seen. Oddly enough, though, the face was the thing that looked the best out of everything. Of course, looking down lower on the other hand…

“You made her tits ginormous, amigo.” Shaid smirked, “Maybe reconsider the proportions.”

“Right? I thought the same when I saw her with my own two Eyes as well!” Olya explained, “But she really is a titty monster, honest to God! Her face was kind of ugly, though, so I had to touch it up with my own skills. A beautiful figure being completely destroyed by an ugly face just wouldn’t do in my book.”

“You’re lower than scum, amigo.” Shaid handed us our plates, “Alright, let’s see what else you… have.”

Flipping through a bit more of the pages, Shaid’s face went from that of playful joking to absolute disgust. I couldn’t see what was in the pages he was looking at, but judging from Olya’s somewhat terrified expression, it seems Shaid stumbled upon something that he wasn’t meant to see.

“A-Ah, those are… I can explain.” Olya sweated through all his pores, “H-Hey, Shaid, are you listening? Hey bud, come on, look, those ones aren’t real! They’re just doodles I drew while I was bored!”

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

“You… What the fuck is wrong with you?” Shaid closed the notebook forcefully before throwing it at him.

“Hey now, break it up, you guys!” I insisted on us forgetting about whatever Shaid just saw.

“I knew you were despicable, Olya, but this is too much.” Shaid added, “These girls, they did not look of age at all. And the clothing you put on them in the illustrations… Ugh, you just made me lose my appetite.”

“Oh come on! I said they were just doodles!” He defended himself, “Look, I was just practicing for my author debut! A good book needs to have a lovable cast of characters, and the real world just doesn’t have that! That’s why I had to add a bit more flair into my writing!”

“Turn yourself in this instant, you sick cretin.” Shaid spit at him, “Leave, and take your sick drawings with you.”

I was completely surprised by Shaid’s outburst just now, and had fully expected that Olya was gonna play the entire thing off as a joke and start to talk his way out, but even his reaction surprised me. Without even fighting back for a second, Olya had lowered his head as he started packing his stuff. I had asked him if he’s seriously okay with leaving, but all he said to me was “Sorry, I guess I really am kind of sick.”

“Goodbye, guys.” He said dejectedly as he opened the door, “And Shaid, I’m really sorry. It’s a sick fantasy of mine, but know that it’s not one I’ve ever acted upon. I’ll seek help, and then…”

“You don’t need help.” Shaid interrupted, “You need the death sentence.”

“…I’m sorry.”

And with that, Olya had left the premises, Shaid sat back down to angrily eat the food he had made, all the while throwing out Olya’s share as if it’s disgusting to even have it on the table, and I was left utterly confused at the whole exchange. Just what the hell was in that notebook? Why did Shaid and Olya react so uncharacteristically, and how did things tear apart so quickly?

“Mind explaining what’s going on?” I asked as I sat back down to finish my plate.

“…” He finished chewing his food before replying, “Let’s go buy the wheat.”

***

After we had finished our plates, Shaid made no more mentions of what had just transpired between him and Olyahim. I kept pestering Shaid about it, but he was firm in his stance to not say another word more. To me, it truly felt like he completely wants to forget even having met, much less befriended a guy like Olya. Well, I guess everyone’s got their vices, and though Shaid’s my best friend and all, I’d still greet Olya if I ever saw him again in the future, since I still don’t know what it is he did.

“Well, if you’re not gonna say anything, let’s just look for the wheat then.” I sighed.

“Thank you for understanding.” He nodded, “Now, where would be the best place to buy it?”

“The city’s a no-go, in my opinion. The prices are high, since this is a dock/town hybrid, and the people are all too prone to upping the price for subpar products. We need something more natural if we’re to get the best chances for Havana to flourish.”

“Right, so a nearby village with a wheatfield?” Shaid inquired, “The nearest one is in the other sub-country, uh… Tertis, was it?”

“Right, let’s go get Lina and go over there. We should be away from the warzone as long as we stick to the south side of the country.”

As such, we had walked to the dock and untied the now very bored camel named Lina. She was pretty eager to go, but you could tell from her expression that something was off. She might be missing her fellow camel, Linda, or she could just be hungry. In any case, we decided it was the latter, so we fed her some of the highest quality grub we could pick up on the way there and hopped on to ride off into the distance.

The trip to the border was pretty long. Like, not too long to the point where we died of boredom, but it was certainly a trek, taking about a whole day of nonstop riding until we reached Station Betta.

“Well, that was a slog.” Shaid noted, “But at least we made it safe and sound. Ah, the wheat fields here are all too majestic!”

“I know, right?” I added, “If this were Meridia, I’m sure no one would mind if we just started plucking the wheat out indiscriminately, but this isn’t our land, so we should remain vigilant.”

“Right, let’s go find a farmer willing to give us some seeds.”

It didn’t take too long until we surveyed all the corners of the border city, given its small size. Well, calling it a city was kind of an overstatement, as it’s much more akin to a small community of farmers. That being said, this was just perfect for us, as we soon found ourselves swarmed with potential business partners.

“I can give ya’ 75 kilos o’ seeds fer’ 150 gold.” One farmer told us the price, “Fer’ two gold a kilo, I think that’s fair.”

“I think so too.” I turned to Shaid as I gave the thumbs up, “Alright, how will you be weighing it?”

“Eyeball it!” The farmer pointed to his good Eye.

Suddenly, the deal didn’t seem so golden anymore. I’ve got a pretty good sense of weight, so with lower values I could properly ascertain if he was scamming us or not, but I can’t possibly lift 75 kilos of wheat seeds and still have the focus to feel it up properly. The deal isn’t gonna work, it’s too much of a gamble.

“Sorry, we’ll look elsewhere.”

After that, we went to a farmer who actually looked a bit more sophisticated in his approach to cultivating his wheat. Actually, even the wheat he had was a lot more colorful and nicer looking than the others’.

“You wanna buy my wheat?” He raised an eyebrow, “Good Eyes! My wheat is the best in the world! Instead of simple trial and error, my wheat can withstand even the harshest of conditions! That’s because it uses science instead of pure estimates.”

“Is that so?” Shaid and I sounded interested, “Well, we don’t need the wheat though, just the seeds. Still, if you’ve got a proper scale, then we’d like as much as you think we can carry.”

“Alright, alright! You’ve got yourself a deal!” He smiled, “Then how about 80 kilos? That sounds like a fair amount, and it’s also just a bit under what my scale can accurately show.”

“Perfect! Name your price.”

“400 gold coins.”

Four hundred-?! This guy’s gotta be kidding me! That’s like five gold a kilo, more than double what the other farmer wanted! What the hell, if he’s selling just the seeds for this much, then I can’t imagine what he wants for the actual plant. But… this is exactly the thing we need…

“200!” I started heckling the price down.

“This isn’t that kind of deal.” He remained resolute, “400 gold. No heckling.”

“But that’s just too much!” Shaid added.

“Don’t care. You came to me because of my quality and safety. Obviously, it’ll cost more than these other simple farmers. Surely, if it means so much to you, you’ll choose me over them… Hey, wait. Where are you two going?”

“To the farmer with the good Eye.” We waved him off, “Deal’s off. We’ll give the money to the farmer with the better deal.”

“What?! But that’s so insecure! You’ll probably be scammed out of a ton of kilos!”

“Don’t care. A few kilos less won’t kill us. Besides, it beats having to pay 2.5 times as much.”

As such, we went with our first option, that being the farmer who had average wheat and average pricing. While it’s true that he hasn’t got a scale like the guy with the quality wheat, we’re still under a tight budget. Overspending means death, at least that’s what I got from this exchange.