After that, Issei introduced me to the amazing technology of modern day entertainment. Unbeknownst to me, the 'TV' he had just asked Ouroboras if it still worked was just the thing that'd lift my spirits after finding out the dark truth of the onsen. Upon getting a slim, rectangular device with a ton of buttons on it handed to him, Issei had pointed it to the window sized black mirror mounted on the wall. And presto! With a press of a button, a man had appeared inside it!

"I-Incredible!" I shouted, "Wait, this guy looks like he's our age, but he's so tiny! How the hell?!"

"That man is life-sized, I assure you." Ouroboras explained, "This is merely a projection of the real event being broadcast from somewhere else. A moving picture, if you will."

"A picture that moves..." I muttered, "Awesome! So it's kind of like the games Issei has on his phone, right?"

"Nah, you can't interact with these guys." Issei chuckled, "It's a one way screen. We as the viewers can see them, but they can't see us."

"Eh?! Isn't that an invasion of privacy!? That can't be right, find a better explanation!"

"But that's what it is, though..." Issei sulked.

"Ahem, then, the best way to explain a television broadcast to someone whose knowledge of the modern world would be equitable to a caveman's would be..." Ouroboras stated, "Think of the viewers as Gods, using their Omniscience to peer into the lives of the mortals."

"...Oh, that makes sense, actually."

"He said the same thing I did!" Issei exploded.

After that, I was bestowed the mighty 'remote', and was allowed to test out its capabilities to the fullest. Soon enough, I had figured out what each number meant, the incremental plus and minus buttons, with one pair changing 'views', and the other one, the volume of the persons speaking within them. A marvelous device that allows anyone to peer into the previously thought unknown, all within the comforts of your room!

"I GOTTA have this back home!" I raised the device high above my head.

"You mean like, smuggling a TV back into the Vast World?"

"No, like learning how to make one so that I can infinitely Materialize them and spread the technology to the rest of the world!"

"I forbid it." Ouroboras stormed, "There is a natural "time" at which the humanity of your world shall reach that state of progression. You cannot simply skip it by learning from another Universe Cycle."

"Besides that, even I have no idea how they're made." Issei chuckled, "First of all, your world doesn't use the same wall plugs, not to mention voltage standards. You'd need to fumble through that by yourself, and even when you finally did, the technology of a standard TV, be it modern or vintage, is way too complex for just one person to figure out, even if they did reverse engineer it from a working sample."

That's... dammit! But I want one of these back home! I can't understand all the people here are saying, since it's in Japanese, but there are some Entropic-speaking views that I can, and they're damn entertaining! Like, look at this one, it looks to be some sort of concert being broadcast, that's revolutionary! A quartet of bards performing in front of a live audience, and yet their music extends to even us here in the room! And this, an epic tale of a small child fumbling about in a forest with his protector! Ah, they're arguing about... Wait, this is in Cardinic. Whoa, that's some uhh... wow, awkward stuff.

"...Among other things, Lune Grimheart, one cannot receive these transmitted signals without the aid of satellites, which requires a whole slew of..."

"I think he stopped listening to you a while ago." Issei laughed.

"Guys!" I shouted, "What's this!?"

"Ah, they're broadcasting an old episode of Death Note." Issei looked.

"A classic." Ouroboras nodded.

Both of us turning around to raise an Eyebrow at his surprising statement, we had almost created a large mutual question mark above our heads as he hastily corrected himself.

"For you mortals, not me!" He growled, "I was speaking objectively just now. We Gods have seen all there is to see in this world, and everything before it. I fail to see why you would assume I would ever compliment something I had already witnessed."

"Wait, you DO realize just because you've seen something doesn't mean it can't be fun anymore, right?" I asked, "Are all Gods secretly Green Iros?"

"We are above time, space, life and death, so it is a given that we are above Iros as well." He sighed, "Please do not confuse us higher beings with the likes of you pity mortals."

"Issei, Issei, what're they saying?" I ignored this narcissist to ask about this cartoon.

"Here, gimme the remote." He stuck his hand out, "I'll set up the English version from episode 1, so let's binge that for today. It'll check off another thing from the list too, so this is pretty lucky."

My remote... No, I'll just ask him to give it back to me when he sets everything up. And by the Gods, he sure does know what he's doing with it. Just watch, he doesn't even need to look at the buttons he's pressing to know where his finger is! That's incredible precision! And what's he doing to the TV? It's opened up all sorts of menus and settings, and somehow now he started that cartoon from the start. Incredible...

"Ah, there we go." He smiled, "All done."

"Dub, huh?" Ouroboras cleared his throat, "Are you even one of your own, Issei Kaido? For shame..."

"...What did you just say to me?" Issei's Eyes gleamed as he returned the Sun God a nasty death stare, "Our buddy Lune here is foreign, you know? He'd understand dubs way better."

"He can read just fine." Ouroboras sat up, "Put on the subbed version! Failure to comply will-!"

"Guys!" I intervened, "What're subs and dubs?"

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***

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

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After a hefty explanation from the both of them on what a subbed and dubbed anime is, I was thoroughly educated on the matter. In my opinion, a bit too educated, because the lecture took an entire 20 minutes, which is about as much as an entire episode of the damned thing, but whatever. Personally, I couldn't care less which of the two I picked, but in the end, I felt a bit too much pressure emanating from Ouroboras' glare, so my survival instincts kicked in and I opted for subs. Yeah, it's like reading a book, right? A picture book, except the pictures get to move in front of you. That's the best way to describe it.

"By the way, I feel the need to mention that this is a work of fiction." Issei pointed out.

"Well yeah, it's drawn?" I tilted my head.

"He meant it is not based on a true story, so take the events occurring in the plot with a grain of salt." Ouroboras added, "Like a fictional story talking about dragons and the likes."

"Wait, dragons aren't real?"

"......Ahem, shall we begin?"

Hey, don't dodge the question, God! Gah, Issei already pressed play, so now I gotta just let this world-shattering piece of information simmer in my mind until we've reached the end of the story! These cunning bastards, why can't they just tell me the truth about dragons!? Certainly I've never seen them, but that doesn't mean they don't exist altogether! I feel like a child who just got told dragons don't exis-! Ah, now I see where the saying comes from...

"Light Yagami..." I chuckled melancholically, "Y'know, Marina and I wanted to name our kid Licht, just like him..."

"Dude." Issei paused as soon as he heard me say this, "Quit it. You're in the fun zone now, no depressing recollections of the past."

"I agree." Ouroboras rolled his Eyes, "When one has entered the fun zone, ex-wives and dead feti are not to be uttered."

"But that's...!"

"Fun zone." He took the remote from Issei and pressed play, "No buts."

And so, a whole twenty minutes later, and we were done with the first episode. It's an interesting premise, one wherein a God of Death chooses a righteous human to instill his values into, gifting him with the power to cleanse the world of all evil. It's your standard zero to hero thriller story. Can't wait for Light to kill all the baddies and finally make the world totally peaceful!

"Ah. Who's this L guy?" I frowned as soon as I saw him on the TV inside our TV, "And why's he egging the mysterious murderer on? He's just gonna get himself killed like that."

"Shh!" They both silenced me.

Well, L died. Ah wait, what!? He died, but this jumbled voice addressing them...!? I-It's genius! He had someone else show up and lie about being the master detective to triangulate the killer's position! This L guy is not to be messed with! I wonder what Light will do now? He's in a pinch!

"Ah, that's the end of the episode." Issei went to turn it off, "Lunch is being served right about now, so let's take a break before we continue."

"Wait, I wish to listen to the ending." Ouroboras stopped him.

"Your 'not a weeb' mask is falling off, Ouri."

"Just leave the damned remote on the floor."

Shrugging, Issei had begun changing out of the yukata he was wearing. These traditional garbs are something all three of us had to apparently wear for the duration of our stay at the onsen. At first I chalked it up to just being a colorful bathrobe, but now I just can't help but feel its warmth and comfort at all times. Okay, maybe the TV was stretching it, but this material is definitely simple enough to reproduce back home! And then I can introduce it to Cecily, and I'll get to see my cute wife in a snuggly fit whenever we're at home! Agh, I can't wait!

"Alright, time to eat." Ouroboras turned off the TV, prompting me to snap out of my trance, "You too, Lune Grimheart. The faster we eat, the faster we can continue on to episode three."

"A-Ah, alright."

Bidding farewell to the comfy loungewear in favor of depressingly fitting into my old dirty clothes again, we had locked our room's door and walked through the long hallways to reach the area where they served food. It was then and only then that Issei had revealed the truth to me.

"I was kinda lying to you on this one." He scratched his cheek, "This isn't exactly an onsen hotel. It's a ryokan."

"Ryo...What?"

"They are one in the same, Issei Kaido." Ouroboras groaned, "Ryokans offer meals, whilst onsen hotels do not. Lune Grimheart does not mind, surely."

"Ah, is that it? I got scared that it was gonna be something way more serious." I sighed in relief.

"Nah, you can't say they're the same." He then pulled out the crumpled up checklist from his pocket, "Besides, it says here "Visit an ONSEN, not ryokan". Sigh, it's a shame but..."

"So you will not check it off just yet?" Ouroboras got the gist with a wry smirk.

"Yeah, I guess it just doesn't fit the criteria." Issei smiled back, "Oh woe is me, guess we'll just have to go to another onsen during our trip. What a bummer."

"A bummer indeed, Issei Kaido!" He patted him strongly on the back, "I could not have said it better myself! Now, let us not worry about such sad affairs and dig in!"

"You guys do realize I don't wanna prolong this stay too much, right?" I furrowed my brows, "I got a wife and kids who're wondering where I am right about now."

"It can wait!" They both shouted, "Itadakimasu!"

"I-Ita...?"

Goddammit, they're speaking in tongues again! Crap, well - No use worrying about it, I guess. Let's just enjoy the tasty otherworldly food while I can. I've been introduced to so many wondrous things in this world, it just kind of makes me sad more so than happy, because I probably won't be able to bring back 90% of these things to my world. It's like that, a fleeting dream wherein I both hope to wake up soon and not, all at the same time.