"Yo, doc! You ain't gonna believe what we saw over... there?" I looked around at this mysterious place I was found in, "Huh? This doesn't look like the pleasure room...?"

Looking around, it moreso kind of resembles a street in one of the bigger, more urbanized towns like Carmen City or something like that. Seriously, what with these tall, weird street lanterns and the entire pure White motif they got going on, I'm genuinely wondering where I am.

"Did the recall device send me to the wrong place?" I recalled Olya, "Oh right, he's not with me either. I guess we got separated again."

Well, nothing else to it. Guess I just gotta explore this place until I find someone who can point me in the right direction. I had some of those teleporter halves Olya made for us in my left pocket, but I can't find them anymore either. In fact, my vision seems to have suffered a bit, because I can't quite see what I'm wearing when I look down.

"Heh, somethin' must've gotten in my Eye during the freefall." I joked as I rubbed my Eyes, "Hm? Freefall? Was I... falling from somewhere?"

Yeah, memory's hazy. I can sort of remember being in Sulfury, seeing some naked guy, then running to the top and jumping off of the giant golden throne we were on, but the details are all murky. How odd...

"Oh, finally!" I found some scrawny guy wearing a toga in the distance, "Yo! I'm kinda lost, what is this place?"

"Hm? Oh, you're new here?" He chuckled, "Yeah, this is Heaven. You died and went up here."

"Yeah, yeah, nice one, guy." I didn't at all believe his words, "Then again, that'd explain your outfit and albino skin."

"Hey now, I got some gold on me!" He moved his toga aside to show a golden spot right over his heart, "See here? I got shot through the heart apparently. That's what Prylos told me, at least."

"Huh!? No way, you met Prylos!?" I jolted, "A-And what's with that gnarly scar!? Looking at you again, you got a ton of those golden scars all over your body!"

"Speak for yourself, guy." He laughed before pointing to my back, "Your entire back side is pure gold. Geez, how the hell did you die?"

"I didn't...!" I went to correct him before recalling the free fall, "D-Did I...? Did I die from that fall?"

"Oh, a fall got you." He then looked somewhere to the side, "See here, readers, this guy's sick!"

"Who are you talkin' to?" I tilted my head.

"Oh, no one." He turned back around to face me, "In any case, as you can see, we're all dead here. Our souls left our bodies when we died down there, so Prylos and Selzion generously gave us brand new bods. The White parts of your body are the ones that are still intact from your body down in the living World, and the gold parts are the substitutes for the ones that aren't. Pretty cool, right?"

"Wrong!?" I started panicking, "Dude, I'm not dead! This has to be some sort of sick joke, right?! Just tell me where I am, really!"

"Sigh, look here, guy..." He went to elaborate, but a nearby female called out to us.

"Oi, Elegy! Quit stalling and come on already!" She hollered, "Selzion's gone back down to the living World, now's our chance!"

"Oh, shit!" He turned back, "Well, gotta go. Enjoy your stay, guy!"

"Hell no! Where you goin'!?" I tried following behind, but they stopped me, "Dude, E-Elegy was it? I just wanna know where to go, cause I'm completely lost!"

"Then don't go following us!" He and his group smirked, "If you want answers, best go bug Prylos about it, since we're going in the opposite direction. FTG! FTG!"

What the...? What is even going on anymore!? A-Ah, they already left. Shit, well, he at least pointed to where Prylos is supposedly at, so I guess I should go there. Going in the exact opposite direction of where that group went, I could only now properly realize the place I was in. The people, all of them looked the same. Pale white with only some gold accents that serve as differentiators for one another, and everyone's wearing a toga. Even the females, oddly enough, but it seems no one here has neither genitals nor nipples. Which makes me wonder...

"Yep, me neither." I lifted my toga from my belly slightly just to see everything sanded down to a silky smoothness, "Shit..."

"You need something?" An unrealistically tall muscular man with an extremely golden exterior floated towards me, "Or are you just gonna keep staring at what you've lost when you got here?"

"Sorry for that, I'm a bit new here." I pulled my toga back up to a respectable height, "In any case, I'm looking for Prylos. Someone pointed me towards him, so if you could use that abnormal height of yours to scope out the scene, I'd be much obliged."

"New here? Pshh, nice one." He laughed hardily, "No one's "new" here. In the new update for Heaven, time is irrelevant, so everyone was here from the start. That being said, if you're looking for Prylos, then I'm happy to say you've found him."

"Eh? You're Prylos?" I tilted my head a bit, "E-Err, I mean - Big fan! So this is Heaven you say? Love what you did with the place... And that part about time being irrelevant? Pure genius, I must say..."

"Stop trying to suck up to a God, mortal." His Eyes glew every color I could ever imagine as he threatened me, "I understand you might just be stalling for those troublemakers, be it knowingly or not, but that first sentence is still bugging me."

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Whatever do you mean, Great Lord?" I furrowed my brows at him.

"Best hope you were a good lawyer down there, cause I'm this close to banishing you from Heaven 2.0. As I said, there shouldn't be anyone who is "new here", so despite the chances of it being minimal, I can't take any risks."

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"Oh, is that so?" I sat down on the soft White grass, "Well, I guess I'll take being a threat to a literal God as a compliment, man, but I'm gonna be honest when I say you're severely overestimating me."

"Are you mocking me, mortal?" His Eyes glew menacingly again.

"Bro, chill, I didn't say anything yet. Look, I'm on my ass here, how the hell could I do anything?" I rolled my Eyes, "Look, I'm at your mercy, so the least you could do is hear out my situation and talk to me about how to solve it, cause I ain't know the answer to that one either."

"Hrmm..." He groaned, which I assume signified I could start.

"Right, so basically..." I cleared my throat as I began talking, "I don't remember jack shit. I was in Sulfury with a buddy of mine, and we saw some naked orc."

"A naked orc?" He raised an eyebrow, "That damned horny bastard will never stop with his depravities..."

"Oh, so you know who I'm talkin' about?" I found a chance, "Look, I remember knowin' who he is, but I don't know who he is, get me? So if you could just tell..."

"No." His deep voice rang out.

"O-Oh, okay...?" I shriveled up, "A-Anyways, I remember we were atop some golden table. Or was it a chair...? Shit, what's happening, I can't remember shit."

"It seems you are adjusting to the Heavenly rules." He explained, "No one can remember anything from their life down there. Find out your identity and how you died, and you get brought back to the moment of your death, essentially reviving yourself."

"Oh, that's cool." I nodded, "Hey, actually, that's exactly what I need! So can you tell me how I find...?"

"No." He once again declined, "If we let just anyone do that, then Heaven 2.0 would be deserted, don't you think?"

"Oh..."

"Not to mention..." He grabbed me with his hand and raised me to his Eye level, "Cheating death is an unforgivable sin..."

"...Why are you lookin' at me like that?" I rested my elbows on his hand, "I didn't do it yet."

"...Selzion is currently down in the living World." He added, "To put a stop to you and your friend's charades. Or should I call them mockeries of life itself?"

Whoa, what the hell was I up to down there? Sounds way too cool to just get forgotten, but I guess them's the rules up here, so I can't exactly argue. Still, he says the God of Knowledge is coming to stop me and that friend of mine whom I don't remember the name of, but I'm already dead, aren't I? Ah, I guess he means he'll kill that friend, then. Well, guess I'll meet up with him up here when he does croak, then.

"Hm? Tch, not again...!" Prylos squeezes me tightly with his hand as he noticed something I didn't, "That damned Book! You aren't allowed to revive without following the Heavenly rules, do you hear me!?"

"Ack, the hell are you...!?" I then opened my Eyes to find myself back in a bloodied up pleasure room, surrounded by everyone, "...talking about."

"You're back!" All the succubus ladies immediately ran to hug me, "That was so scary~! You were a bloody mess!"

"Geez, don't go scaring me like that anymore." The doctor smiled, "You nearly gave us all a heart attack when you suddenly teleported here and painted the room Red with blood!"

"Huh, this blood is... mine?" I looked around the room.

"Whose else do you think it is, dope?" Olya smirked, "When you recalled us back to the lair, it seems all the momentum carried over and you went splat. Lucky for everyone I somehow saved myself by using you to cushion the fall, so I managed to revive you with the Book."

"So, how's it like being dead?" One of the girls asked a grim question, "The doctor doesn't remember anything, and we can't ask that comatose guy since he still hasn't woken up, so give us the tea!"

"The tea?" I got up, still half asleep and severely confused, "White, I guess...? And I met Prylos."

"Yeah, he's delusional as hell right now." Olya lightly slapped me, "Come on, let's go get you something to eat. You gotta regain all this blood you lost."

"Hey, but what if he's telling the truth?" Another girl whimpered.

"I-I really don't remember either, I guess..." I chuckled as I scratched my beard, "I'm probably just hungry and delusional from blood loss like Olya said."

"Certainly, what kind of Heaven is completely White?" The doctor laughed, "None of the churches speak of such an afterlife."

"Then I'm 100% wrong!" I shut up all their theorizing, "Look, I get cranky when I'm hungry, so everyone shut the hell up and follow me to the buffet room! We got just one more World Wonder left before we can stop all this nonsense and save Shaid, so now it's time to celebrate another job well done!"

"............ " They all looked at me, "Fine, sorry..."

That's more like it! No more needless theorizing and pestering me with questions with answers I can't even recall fully. Seriously, for all I know that could've just been a dream. Cheh, met up with God in a White Heaven. Am I dumb or something? That ain't right...