"And one more thing!" Grim exclaimed in between huffs.
"Okay, I think he got the point." Issei held him back as Kiria and Kevin consoled a traumatized Lemmy.
"Nah, something tells me he's not the type to lose heart even after this much." I patted Grim on the shoulder, "Go on, beat as much discipline into him as you can. This is your best chance to educate a snobby, stuck-up delinquent."
"Seriously, let him go." Issei remained firm in defending the damned brat, "Ed, I get he's technically an adult, but at the end of the day he's still a 19 year old teen. They make mistakes all the time."
"Oh? And what of you, then?"
"What about me?"
"Well, you're bordering 30 yourself, and recent events have led me to believe you've made quite the fuck up even as a fully grown adult." I darted my gaze to him, Othelia and Eleanor, then back to him again.
"What are...? I-I don't get what you mean by that." He tried one last time to play the ignorant fool.
"YOU PIECE OF-!" I raised my fist into the air, stopping myself mere milliseconds before I struck him right in the schnoz, "Tch. No, this won't do."
"Phew..." Eleanor took a sigh of relief before she got mad, "Bro, what the hell is wrong with you!? Did you just try to punch Issei?"
Nah, punching him right now wouldn't do anything. Right, there's still a chance, even though it's so tiny that it's miniscule, that what I saw last night was just my mind playing tricks on me. Obviously, given context clues throughout this past day, anyone could come to the conclusion that something's going on between Othelia, Issei and my sister, but a large part of me just... can't believe it no matter how hard I try to face the facts. Right now, I'm hard stuck in a dreadful state of limbo wherein I'm both unsure and sure of whether or not it's true, all at the same time. Ugh, I wish there was a scientific phenomenon for this situation. Preferably one with a cat involved. I love cats.
"Issei, I'm tired of playing cat and mouse, y'know?" I honestly just sat back and sighed, "I didn't know it'd be possible for one friend to ruin my life in such a short amount of time, yet here we are."
"Did Issei do something to wrong you, Edward?" Meil asked, "I was unaware of this. Issei, please apologize to Edward this instant."
"...Well, I can say sorry, I guess." Issei scratched his head after a long pause, "But given the circumstances, I can only really say I did what was asked of me."
What was asked of you...? Who asked, my guy!? Geez, don't tell me this was all Eleanor's idea...! Gasp, or don't tell me... Othelia, the snake! I knew it, she definitely had more than enough skin in the game! Was she the one pulling the strings? They say it takes two to tango, but what happens when you add a third... Ugh, I can't think anymore. That's it, I give up.
"Issei." I sighed, "Did you fuck my sister?"
With a loud crash of tableware hitting the floor, even the waiter couldn't help but gasp and turn around. Everyone seated at our table was speechless. So stunned that they couldn't even begin to conjure up a proper reaction no matter how hard they tried. I just fucked up. I know it, and I don't really care. After this much inner turmoil, I'll admit a weird sense of euphoria washed over me when the words finally left my mouth and entered all their ears. I showed my hand to everyone, now it's his turn to do the same.
"...You really went ahead and asked, huh?" Issei chuckled defeatedly, "That's... really putting me on the spot, you know."
"Answer the question." I kept staring at him, "Or did you not hear me? Cause I can repeat it for you louder if you want."
"Bro, please..." Eleanor was practically melting on her chair from embarrassment.
"No, no, this was the expected reaction." Issei took a deep breath through his nose before finally answering my query, "Alright, while I wouldn't describe it quite like that, and I really, REALLY wanted some more time before we could properly explain it all to you... Yes, Eleanor and I are dating."
"Whoa, whoa..." Grim glanced at everyone involved.
"This is... confusing?" Meil raised an Eyebrow.
"Should we still be here?" Kevin looked mad uncomfortable.
"Shut it, this is the most fun part." The brat kept munching away at his cake as he watched everything go to shit.
"A-Auntie and...!" Nelly went to get up from her chair, "Uhhh, ha-ha! I-If you'll excuse me, I gotta go to the little girls' room-!"
"Sit down." I ordered, "No one is leaving until these three explain themselves fully. Leave no detail out, you understand me?"
"Ed, don't you think you're embarrassing us here?" Othelia complained.
"Yeah, that's the point." I pointed to my Iro, "I'm a very stable dude. I don't take too many risks unless I know they'll work out, so forgive me for getting mad over this annoying wrench thrown into my happy, daily life."
"Ed..." Issei gripped something under the table, "I'm sorry..."
"Don't you believe in the saying: "An Eye for an Eye?" " I asked, "Because I do. I believe it's perfectly normal for you to embarrass yourselves in front of everyone by telling us how this shitshow managed to occur in the first place after you've embarrassed the Saint family name with it."
"...Alright, fine." Issei steeled his resolve before putting both his hands up and onto the table, each one holding one of the girls' hands, "You want the truth!? I'll give you the truth!"
"Oh snap, here we fucking go~!!" Lemmy restlessly anticipated the grand reveal.
"I'm dating both!" Issei shouted to the world as Othelia and Eleanor both awkwardly sat next to him.
...Tsk. This sucks ass...
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***
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"Huh? So Eleanor and Othelia are homosexual?" Meil asked a rather odd first question.
"More like we're both attracted to the same person." Othelia explained in a very understanding tone, "But it's not like we dislike each other in any way. Think of it more like a compromise."
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
"I-Is..." Nelly looked at me, Meil and Grim sitting across from her, "Is this how adult relationships work?"
"Not at all." Grim leaned on his elbow with a proud smirk, "But boy would life be easier if it did."
"The hell are you smiling for?" I pulled his hand away so he banged his head on the table, "This is a serious goddamned issue. It's one thing for Issei to somehow have two girlfriends at once (that I'd be just as proud of, honestly), but for it to be with my sister of all people!"
"Ow, easy on the head, man... Geez, I just got punched there." He momentarily glanced at a very apologetic Kevin, "But yeah, maybe it's cause we're not related that I can just feel the honest pride in my friend succeeding in life."
"Is having two lovers at once considered successful in your Eyes?" Nelly rightfully gave her father a scornful glare, "Mom would be pissed if she heard you."
"Heh, funny you mention that."
"That's enough of you, Grim."
"But is a relationship not based on mutual and equal love between two parties?" Meil explained the illogical in logical terms, "With two people, it can be split 50/50, but with three, that number is impossible to equally divide, as the ratio is now 33.3/33.3/33.3. Tell me, Issei, where does the other 0.1 go?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Lemmy scoffed, "To the guy that gets to bang two chicks at once and not get in trouble for it, that's who."
"...Oh, I suppose that makes sense then." Meil nodded, "Carry on."
"Thank you." Issei approved of his approval.
"My ass he should carry on!" I yelled, "Eleanor, what would mom and dad say if they saw this?"
To that, she returned a deadpanned stare.
".......Shit, I forgot they really like Issei." I recalled all too late, "N-Never mind, though! Issei, I understand this might fall into one or more fantasies for you, but you have to understand that my sister isn't just someone you can use like this."
"Ed, I can understand where you're coming from, and trust me, there isn't a single matter we've mulled over longer than this one." He gave his honest reply, "But I love Eleanor, equally as much as I do Othelia. Unlike the countless trashy and stupid Harem stories out there, this relationship has no "main girl" who is obviously the one the MC favors more, nor is there one that is inversely less favored. All three of us have agreed to live this life together, and we hold equal amounts of love and affection for one another no matter what you are led to believe."
"Sounds to me like you've really weighed your options." Kiria was successfully tricked by his sly words, "I've never met a couple of 3 before, but I will admit that you seem to be managing it perfectly, all of you. T-To tell you the truth, I've noticed something was happening the moment you three sat next to one another. I don't know, it just felt way too - natural."
"You talk too much." Issei commented before giving a thumbs up, "But thanks for the compliments!"
"Hold on, don't encourage them, dammit!" I regretfully lost my cool for a second, "What the hell is wrong with you people!? My friend is in a weird ass relationship with my dear sister, and you're all clapping like it's something to celebrate!"
"W-Well uncle, I guess it's like... objectively a good thing, but subjectively for you, it's not?" Nelly shrugged as she tried her best to explain it, "Like, auntie has been troubled for the longest time about not finding a boyfriend, right? And even though it's kind of unnatural, it's not like any of them are unhappy with this, so I don't think we should have any right to judge them about it."
"W-Was I that desperate?" Eleanor whispered to Issei.
"Apparently, if you settled for a guy like me." He joked, which prompted her to giggle a bit.
Sickening. That's the word that was hanging at the tip of my tongue all this time. Right, their happiness and flirting is sickening. Their relationship is wrong, it shouldn't exist. Everyone's reactions are sickening, they should be just as if not even more disgusted than I am. This entire situation is...
"Sickening." I hung my head low as I lost even the strength to look up anymore.
"Pff!" Grim burst out laughing at my suffering.
"Ha-ha, Grim. This situation must just be so funny to you..." I muttered, "My sister is dating Issei, and you're sitting there laffing."
"Dude, you still don't get it?" He laughed and laughed, "The reason we don't really care is cause it ain't gonna last!"
...Hm?
"That's kind of a rude way to put it, but I guess you're right about the latter part at least." Issei continued elaborating for him, "Othelia and I are going to wish ourselves back to my world, remember?"
"Huh?"
"In other words, they'll go." Eleanor teared up, "And I'll stay here, alone again..."
"Go? Go where?" Kevin asked.
"To a land far, far away." Issei sulked, "My homeland, a place that no vehicle can reach. Othelia and I will be going there because we have no more business in this world, but Eleanor... She still has a family that loves and cares for her."
As he said that, he meaningfully glanced at me. The nerve, I should've beat him up when I had the chance earlier...
"Just like Rosette..." Nelly then realized something before she grabbed Eleanor's hands, "Gasp, auntie! You absolutely can't let them go!"
"Nelly? Haha, I appreciate your concern, but..." She sulked, "You think I don't want to go with them either? Of course not, I've been convincing them all this time to go, but..."
"But we didn't let her." Othelia interrupted, "As Issei said before, she has people who'll miss her. Until then, we thought to have a bit of fun while fulfilling this little dream life of ours, but it's all but decided that we'll be heading out, meanwhile she'll stay here and hopefully find someone else to make her happy."
"But I don't want to!" Sis began bawling her Eyes out, "I don't wanna be alone again! Not after all you've done for me!"
"Hmph." All the other people seated at the table, the nosy waiter included, stared at me angrily, "Nice job, dipass..."
"Tsk..." I glanced around a bit before remarking, "This sucks ass..."