"Cecilyyy~!" Dad ran up to her with the intention of a hug.
"Ah, Lune~?" She awkwardly returned the hug, "Why the enthusiasm, though?"
"I've missed you soooo much!"
"It's only been a week though?" She then turned to us, "Well, I'm more or less used to whatever the hell his deal is, but why are you three here—Issei, Othelia and Eleanor?"
Man, she's gonna have a lot to hear. After all, dad and Issei apparently had a whole adventure in another world that took multiple months to get back from. What's more, Issei explained previously how he doesn't feel like his world is suitable for the three of them to live in permanently, so he instead chose to come back with dad. I wonder why he changed his mind...
"Could we talk about that inside, please?" Uncle dropped off the luggage, "I'll go tell Anna and my parents we're back and join you later, okay?"
"Oh yeah, of course, man." Dad nodded.
"...You really think he's gonna come back like he said?" Issei asked.
"Nah, not at all. He's definitely gonna get sidetracked with Anna." Dad shrugged.
Sidetracked? What are you...? Ah, he means that! Ew, gross!
"Alright, come on in everyone. I'll brew us some coffee and..." Mom stopped as soon as she took a gander at Lem, "You're Lee's kid, aren't you?"
"Nice to see you too, ma'am." He said with a surprisingly chipper tune, "Here, a present for remembering me."
"Whoa, where'd you get that?" Even dad looked surprised when he pulled the wrapped gift out of his backpack.
"A present for me?" Mom took it in stride before asking, "What're you plotting?"
"Oh come on, I just wanted to be nice!" He stomped on the ground furiously, "Isn't it basic courtesy to get something for the host I'll be staying at for the summer!?"
"The host? What are you-?" Mom went to ask before gasping, "Oh my Gods!"
"What is it?" Eleanor leaned in to see, "A... cloak?"
"How did you know!!!" Mom jumped for joy, "And it's navy Blue! Totally wicked!"
"Navy? Ahem, I mean, yeah! I tried to pick something that suits you, ma'am!" Lem did a salute.
Ah, now everything is starting to fall into place. So that's why he was so oddly interested in hearing dad ramble on and on about my mom. He just wanted to give her a gift to smoothen out the fact he'll be staying with us. Guess he played his cards right, mom will definitely let him stay after this. But if he wanted to do that, then he should've told us ahead of time. Now she's gonna be expecting something from dad and me as well!
"I'll put it on right now!" She tossed it over her shoulders, "How do I look?"
"B-Beautiful squared, dear!" Dad hid his hands behind his back, "A-Ahem, but that's not all, cause... I got you something too!"
"Whoa, really!?" She took the gift from him, "A... device of some kind?"
"It's from Issei's world—A roomba!" He boasted, "This little guy can vacuum the floor on his own! Just plop him down and press the button at the top and boom! The floor is clean without you having to lift a finger!"
"What the-!? When did you get that!?" I shouted, "You definitely just Materialized that in this moment!"
"Oh come on, I picked it up during our trip!" He gave me a death glare before asking Issei to vouch, "Right, Issei?"
"Hm? I don't remem-"
"Right...? Issei?" Dad stepped on his foot, "I. Bought. It?"
"O-Of course, man! What the hell kind of question is that!?" Issei quickly changed his tune, "It was back in... Ah, wherever it was, I know you bought it!"
Traitor! At least be a real dad and give me something too, othewise I'll really end up being the only one who didn't get her anything!
"Wowie! So it's like a pet?" Mom pet the little robot vacuum, "That's incredible and-wait, you went with Issei to his world?"
"Ha-ha..." Dad ran past her inside the house, "Enough with the questions! Where's my little man of the house?!"
"Ah, right now he's... Never mind, you're not listening anyways." Mom sighed before inviting us all in as well, "Now come on, let's talk inside. Nelly, what's the hold up?"
"A-Ah, sorry mom..." I twiddled my thumbs in front of the doorframe, "I-I... didn't buy you anything."
"Oh, honey!" She gave me a hug, "You're this old but you still don't get it?"
"What's there to get? I neglected to get you something, and that's a fact."
"You ARE my present." She said, petting me on the head, "Cause now with you here, this is gonna be the first time that my whole family is together. I couldn't have asked for anything more."
During this exchange, I happened to notice Lem staring quite intently. Seeing us being all happy together must have made him kind of envious, which in turn made me feel guilty too. I ended up gently pushing mom away from me before walking into the house with everyone else.
"What's up, kid?" Othelia asked, "You're staring a bit too much, it's kinda rude."
"...Nah, I've just been thinking." He turned back, "I really bought a banger ass cloak."
Never mind, he's still the same prick I know. And here I thought he was actually hurting on the inside, but turns out he's just stroking his own ego again. Dammit, I stopped hugging my own mother for this asshole.
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***
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"So, let me get this straight." Mom calmly sipped her coffee as we all sat around the table, minus dad and Cene, "Meil has schizophrenia, Lemmy and Lee live in Simpleton, and Nelly actually got accepted into university, and you three are gonna continue to live in this world?"
"Seriously? That's what you're gonna highlight out of our entire story?" Issei tilted his head, "Not the fact your husband literally went to another world and back with me?"
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
"Eh, I expected something to that degree to happen." She shrugged.
"I don't even know what to say to that." Othelia gave up.
"More importantly, you all said you're gonna be staying here for the next month?" She continued.
"Just until we build a house for ourselves." Issei emphasized, "Sorry again for this, Cecily."
"Oh no, I don't mind. If Lune said it's fine, then I have no qualms either." She then turned to Lem, "That being said, what's your excuse?"
"Ooh, harsh words are being thrown at the guest here!" He shot back.
"Your father helped us out a lot back when we were neighbors, and I'm glad you're taking good care of our Nelly in university, but..." Mom scratched her cheek, "You're kind of a prick, Lemmy."
"Fair enough. I'm not even gonna deny that statement." He shrugged.
"He said he was interested in visiting Cardina over the summer, so I invited him." I lied.
"And Lee just let you?" Mom asked.
"We come from a short and not-at-all-proud line of bandits, ma'am. As long as I ask, he'll let me start a war."
"I see. Well, please don't." Mom nodded along.
"Everyone! He's here!" Dad jumped from the top of the staircase, "Drumroll please...!!!"
"....."
"You guys are no fun." He rolled his Eyes before regaining the momentum, "Everybody welcome—Cene Grimheart!"
Ah, there's my little brother! He looks sleepy, he's still adorably rubbing his little Eyes. How cute, he's grown a lot since I've last seen him! That being the case, dad probably could've waited until he woke up by himself, cause he seems to be in a pretty grouchy mood. Again, it's freaking adorable, but I feel pretty bad for him.
"Ah, sis?" His Eyes lit up as soon as he saw me, "Big sis, you'we back!"
"Haha, yeah!" I lifted him high up into the air, "Big sis is back! Did you miss me?"
"Yeah!" He smiled, "A whole lot!"
This child is precious! A wooden chest filled with an infinite amount of treasure! Gah, how could this golden boy possibly have come from two adults as messed up as these two? Well, I guess mathematically it makes sense, since two minuses always give a plus, but it's still pretty jarring. Then again, I'm also the one talking shit about my own parents, so maybe I'm a minus as well? Nah, couldn't be, I'm the fairest of them all!
"You're stroking your ego in your head again, aren't you?" Lem somehow accurately guessed the situation, "I don't even need a Brown Iro to know that much."
"Sis." Cene inquired, "Who's that?"
"Ah, that's just-"
"Is that your boyfriend?"
"N-!"
"Nah, we're just friends." Lem cleared up before I could, "Lem, by the way. I'll be spending this month with you and your older sister, so I hope we get along, little man."
"Mn..." He looked shy.
"Come on, what do we say when someone introduces themselves to us?" I reminded him.
"Cene... Gwimheawt." He quietly muttered, buttering up everyone in the room with his cuteness.
"I'll never get sick of that." Eleanor giggled.
"I don't want him to ever learn his R's!" Othelia pinched his cheek, "Ohhh, widdle baby!"
"Ehh? What's so difficult about pronouncing your R's, anyways?" Lem pointed to his own mouth at Cene, "Just say L and slowly move your tongue back. It's not like Cardinic where you have to roll it."
"LLLLL..." Cene mimicked Lem's tongue movements, "RRRRR... Ah, I got it."
That... actually worked? What the hell, it's that simple? It took me until I was like 6 or something to learn that properly, and you're telling me that's all it took?! The entire room is dead quiet too, seems like none of the adults expected it to work as smoothly as it did.
"Hey, wait..." Dad looked anxious.
"Now repeat after me, little man." Lem gave him a confident smirk, "Nelly's an overachieving dork."
"Hey, don't teach him to glorify your own laziness!" I shouted, "I'm normal, you're the one who doesn't study enough!"
"Nelly's an... ovelrachieving dolrk." He said.
"Pretty good for a first try." Lem smiled.
"You...!" Dad whined, "I was supposed to teach him that!"
"Your fault for sleeping on it, dude." Lem reclined, "Seriously, I learned that when I was like 2."
"Mommy, mommy!" Cene jumped for joy in front of her, "Look, Lem taught me how to say llllr!"
"You still have the L to remove before that, but I'm still really proud of you, Cene!" Mom ruffled up his hair.
"Lem, you'lre the coolest!"
"Thanks, little man!" He put his hand out, "Up high! Down low! Too slow! Hahaha, gotta be faster than that!"
He's... surprisingly good with kids. I thought this slacker was gonna bully my little brother, in which case I would've asked dad to cremate him, but it seems Cene's already grown fond of him. Mom too, between the gift he gave her and all the sudden courteous moves he's been displaying, he's definitely secured himself the title of a kind young man to my family. Too bad it's all a sham, though.
"The lengths a man will go to..." Dad muttered as he gave him a sidelong glance.
"You think he's plotting something too?" I whispered to him.
Hearing my question, he paused for a while before answering.
"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out by now." He simply patted me on the head before sitting down with the others to drink his coffee, "And here I thought Cene was the dumb child in the family."
"Why the hell are you calling your darling children dumb!?" I hissed.
"Maybe cause you are?" Lem offhandedly mentioned as he played with Cene, "Hell, a rock is less dense than you."
"You shut up! If it's so obvious, then just tell me!"
After that, the asshole sighed, took a glance at my parents and the rest of the guests, winked, and then turned his head back to me.
"Figure it out yourself, bozo."
Grrraahhh! I hate you!