"Lune." Cecily saw me walking to our home and hurried me inside, "Lune, get in here!"

"What's up? Why're we whispering?" I asked.

"We have an issue." She pointed to an older fellow who was currently slowly trudging along to the Saints' house.

"Whoa, looks like we finally get to experience older religious solicitors going from door to door asking if we wish to be saved from damnation." I chuckled, "Don't worry, if he shows up to our house, we can just politely decline him. He won't do a thing."

"That's not it, he was already here." She shivered, "He just stood over there, next to the mailbox, and kept staring at me. I was totally freaked out."

Well, you are quite the looker, little lady. Okay, I'll stop horsing around now, since she obviously seems unnerved by this guy. Trust me, she would've gladly ran to him and gave him an earful if she didn't deem him to be anyone dangerous, but if she's this frightened, then it can't be something small. I dunno what his deal is, but if he intends to gawk at my wife's beauty, he's gonna have to go through me first!

"I'll handle it." I gave her a hug, "Whatever his deal is, he's an annoying solicitor, so he'll be getting the boot."

"Thanks, dear." She nodded, "I may be overreacting, but his staring was just..."

"Yeah, I get it." I laughed, "No one likes getting stared at by old people. Sadly, that's those bastards' favorite past time."

After I went out, she soon locked the door behind me twice. Geez, selfish much? What if he really turns out to be dangerous and I need to run back inside? Eh, I can always Heal myself if such a scenario were to ever occur. Besides, if anyone should be safe between the two of us, it should definitely be her. Ah, I heard pregnant women are more prone to stark emotional changes, so maybe this is just proof that we did it? Heh, okay, calm down Lune, don't go counting your chicken nuggets before they fry.

"Yo." I called out to the old man as he stood in front of Ed's mailbox, "Got something for us?"

"...Just a thank you." He turned back a tad coldly, "I've read your story, Lune Grimheart, and I must say I'm impressed."

"Ah, a fan of mine? Not sure what story you're talking about, though." I admittedly got a bit giddy about this.

Story, story... Wait, could he be talking about those old diary logs I used to write for my friends and family so they knew how Ed and I were faring? Damn, that was so long ago, I totally forgot I even wrote those! Yeah, I had them copied and shipped out and everything! Man, that brings me back, but how did this old man manage to get ahold of it? Is he a family member? Did it get lost in the mail and he somehow managed to happen upon it by chance? Either way, I'm dealing with my first fan meet up here, so I should try to leave a good first impression!

"Right, how did you enjoy it?" I smiled back, "What was your favorite part?"

"A jester through and through, just as it was written." He snorted, "Well, I guess I ought to give you an honest answer since you are the reason all of this is possible to begin with."

"Of course?" I tilted my head and listened.

"The best part of your story..." He reached into his robe, "Was when you managed to survive Fortune."

Already, my heart sank. My Eyes were fixated on the luxuriously decorated Purple book he had pulled out with a wry smirk, and the only thing on my mind was how it was even still intact, much less outside of the ocean's depths.

"Where did you get that...!?" I stepped back.

"Ah, apologies for startling you. I can understand it holds rather unsavory memories of your past spouse, so I will put it away for your sake." He did as he said, "That being the case, fishing it out would've been an impossible task for anyone but the Gods and me. Though it was unintentional, I must praise you for not letting it get into the wrong hands."

"Old man, that Book...!" My lips quivered as I shouted, "Throw it away! Burn it! It killed all my party mates that day! Marina too, it-!"

"Don't worry, I won't die." He sounded confident in that statement, "Truth is, I'm just here to deliver some mail."

Who is this guy? Never mind that, why does he have the Book? And his demeanor, how come he can so easily put himself in the same league as the Gods without so much as even flinching? Cecily was right to lock the doors. This guy might just be a problem, after all!

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"A White Iro." I glared at his Eyes.

"And a Rainbow Iro." He retorted, "Y'know, I've lived a long life, but you're actually the first person I saw with such bizarre Eyes."

"No one's denying those claims, you old bag of bones." I frowned, "I'm just making sure you won't try anything with them."

"Right, your efforts to uncover the mysteries of the Perks and Abilities of Iros have led to many advancements in said research, especially for Meil Deram." He commended us both, "Truly, it's a shame no one will remember you by it."

Is this guy threatening me? I should attack him while he's still yapping. He doesn't look like a difficult target to hit—He's in a huge robe, constantly making sure to widen his gait so as not to step on his own beard, plus I still remember how hefty that Book was to carry around everywhere. If I hit him now, it will most surely land.

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"Nelly-" He said as my fist stopped mere millimeters away from his face, "...is quite the resilient little girl. You've raised her well."

"What...?" I furrowed my brows, "What did you do?"

"God, am I really that suspicious looking?" He dropped the ominous act to interject his own honest thoughts for a second, "I mean come on, I grew out my beard and all that shiet just to try and resemble a kind old man or a wizard from a fairy tale or something, yet people still think I diddle kids. That's a serious accusation to make, you know?"

"You mentioned my daughter's name. It's a reasonable guess for a worried father to make." I grabbed him by the collar, "It could just be that you know about her from the Book, but I won't let what you said slide that easily."

"Ah, I get it. I had a son too. Heh, he was adopted as well, so it makes us kinda similar, don't you think?" He recalled fondly, "Yep, good ol' Alp. He used to look so feminine, people kept recommending their sons to me. Sometimes I'd even let those idiot boys try their luck with him just to get their hopes shattered when Alp revealed he had a ween between his pants."

"Shut up, I don't care about your stupid femboy son!" I raised my hand threateningly, "Tell me, how do you know about our Nelly!?"

"Ack, careful! These frail bones break on a dime, y'know?" He whined, "She's safe, calm down. It's as you said, the Book told me about her."

...Phew, thank goodness. Right, I'm worrying too much over nothing—Nelly wouldn't fall victim to this geezer. To begin with, she's in Simpleton with Meil and Lem, not to mention a bunch of their other friends, so this guy couldn't have even seen what she looks like, much less harm her in any way. Still, I'll be keeping my grip tight until the interrogation's over.

"Not budging, eh? Cheh, shiet..." He clicked his tongue with a smirk, "Look, I just came here to invite you guys to a party I'm hosting. Serious."

"Quit with the jokes, man."

"No, look!" He took out a fancy letter, "This one's meant for Saint, since he's technically responsible as well. Really, I couldn't have accomplished my lifelong goal without you guys, so I just wanted to show you my appreciation somehow. I mean no harm."

"...Yeah, right." I tried taking the letter from him to inspect its contents, but he quickly yanked it away.

"Nuh uh, you got your own." He pointed to my mailbox, "This one's for him, and I need to make sure it reaches HIS mailbox."

"I'll be sure to hand it to him." I glared.

"How can I be sure?" He asked, "Look, it's a thin sheet of paper, it can't be anything more dangerous than a few razor blades inside. And even then, neither of you are stupid enough to get cut on them."

"That's true..." I thought.

"Right? If I wanted to hurt you guys, I would've sent a bigger package, but this is all I got." He waved around the flimsy letter in the air as I slowly let him down, "There, thank you. Look, if you don't believe me, you can follow me to make sure that's all I'm gonna do."

"Sure, looks to me like your knees would give in if I left you alone anyways." I motioned for him to go, "Now get a move on. I hope you know I'll be seeing you out after you drop that letter off."

"I got nothing else to do but gawk at that beautiful Redhead in your house anyways." He joked, "You're a lucky man, Lune."

So in the end, he really was giving Cecily a lecherous gaze. This guy said he wasn't a pervert, but I guess he was lying through his teeth. Gods, I'm being really patient here because I want to end this quickly and peacefully, but if I ever see this old piece of crap again...!

"Hey, could I bother you to open the mailbox for me?" His shaky hand extended to it, "My fingers really aren't as magic as they were known to be in my youth."

"Your ass did NOT get with a woman, much less get his fingerwork praised by her." I rolled my Eyes as I begrudgingly opened Ed's mailbox for him, "Unless she was paid to do so, of course."

"Nah, they weren't paid, but it's true that those succubi would've never done it with me had it not been for some paranormal mischief on my end."

He chuckled a bit at his own stupid joke before slowly and carefully placing the letter inside the mailbox. With that, he thanked me and went to leave.

"Don't ever come back here again!" I shouted, "If you ever so much as look in Cecily's general direction, you're dead!"

"Heh, didn't I say I wasn't a pervert?" He raised his hand goodbye, "I just thought she looked oddly similar to Nelly, that's all."

Oddly similar... Well, they're not related, so unless he's talking about their hairstyles or something... Wait a second wait a second WAIT. A. SECOND! H-Hey, didn't he say he only knew of Nelly through the Book?! The Book didn't have the power to provide images, so how can he compare the girls' appearances!? Come back here, you damned geezer, what did you do to Nelly!? Old man, you can't run from this! What did you do to-!!!

"Huh...?" I stopped running after him after he disappeared in the blink of an Eye, "Old man...? Grr, old man, you won't get away with this! Whatever you did to her, I'll find out and put you to justice! For your sake, Nelly better be unscathed when I find her! Mark my words, you'll rue the day you angered me! Old man, do you hear me!? Old man...!!!"