"Hey, twerp! Say that again, I dare ya'!" Aru shouted at the top of her lungs.

"That guy's words, not mine!" Lem immediately pointed to a woozy Issei who was just in the process of waking up.

"Ugh... Eh? Aru?" Issei raised an Eyebrow as he looked up, "Wait, Auros too! The hell are you two doing here!"

"Hello again, Foreigner." Aru replied with a long-winded sigh.

"Been a while." Auros raised his hand as well.

Immediately, both Lem and the Generals had raised their voices in unison to address a rather shocking revelation.

"Eh!? You guys know Issei!?"

"He's the one guy not originally from this world, of course we'd know him." Auros explained.

"Not of this world...?" Jorgen glanced back at Issei, "Tch, regardless, you interrupted our duel!"

"Which I was winning, by the way." Lem stuck his tongue out as if to tease him, "Instead of being angry, you ought to say thank you to these two for saving your brother's ass!"

"Hey, that's right!" Max shouted, "Pierre was the only one that was on your side, so why would you attack him!? Coward!"

"The hell do you mean by that? Obviously I'd go for the guy who'd put up the least amount of resistance." Lem tossed Issei his pencil back.

Just then, all the attention was drawn over to Pierre. The Generals stood in shock once they realized the true genius of Lem's plan.

"Eh? Least amount of resistance...?" Jorgen gulped in disbelief, "Pierre... Is that why you didn't fight back against it?"

"Sigh, maybe." Pierre shook his head, "Though I knew there was practically zero chances of me saving this kid if I tried to directly stop you, I think losing an Eye would have done the job."

"Since he doesn't want an innocent life on your shoulders, I knew he'd just let it happen." Lem added, "Honestly, just another trick in the bandit handbook: Keep your enemies close, and your allies closer."

"O-ho! So you'd even go so far as to abuse the very people protecting you just to save your own skin! How utterly despicable!" Aru's girly guffaw filled the room, "Lemmy, I see now! What an interesting life you've led!"

"Goddess! Tell us his last name!" Jorgen ordered, "If anyone should know it, it would be you!"

Glancing back and forth between Lem and Jorgen, she saw the glint in Lem's Eyes that proved even he was somewhat interested in hearing it. Certainly, the Gods would know one of their subject's names, right? They ARE omniscient, after all. Still, there was a hint of anxiety residing in Lem's heart. What if the last name was something ordinary? Or what if it's the opposite where it's extremely unique to the point of it sounding stupid? It could be an old last name or a modern one, it could be a super short or a super long one. The possibilities were endless, and as Lem braced himself for any of the millions of surnames that were running through his mind right now...

"You forgot the magic words~!" Aru stuck her tongue out.

"Grr, just tell me, Goddess!" Jorgen got fussy, "Or if she's not gonna say it, then certainly you will, oaf!"

"Don't call me oaf." Auros furrowed his brows, "If you want something from someone, then you better treat them with respect, man."

"Hell no! I'll never concede to the likes of you!" Jorgen only got fussier once he was told to put himself lower than someone else, even if those two were Gods.

"Hmmm, okay, then let's ask the kid." Aru happily turned around to face Lem with a gentle smile, "Whaddya' say, Lem? Do you wanna find out your real last name?"

"Why put all that pressure on me?" He complained.

"Because." She said truthfully, "Your name means the most to you, and no one else but you."

"Huh?"

"Yep. We as Gods offer help to those who request it, but we usually try to keep our noses away from other people's business." Auros added as well, "That being said, if you want us to tell you, we can, but I think you already know what you wanna choose for yourself."

My name means the most to me, Lem repeated the phrase in his head. Of course it does, everyone has a reason for their names, and those who don't have a goal to give their names a reason. That was always the case, and Lem always felt he didn't need a last name. Of course, if he ever did want to find out, he could always refer to his father for it, but until then he was proud of just being himself. Of just being... Lem.

"Please don't reveal it." He smiled back at the Gods, "Thanks, but I'm pretty sure only my mom and Lee know the answer to that question, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Aww, and here I was ready to laugh at Poopfart." Issei snapped his fingers angrily.

"No one has that last name!"

"Ehhh~? You sure? It could be yours, y'know~?"

"There's no way that's my... Wait, is that right?" Lem worried, "Hey, hold on. What if that really is my last name? What will I do? When I marry Nelly, then she'll become Nelly Poopfart! I can't let that happen!"

"He really does only think of his girlfriend, doesn't he?" Aaron smirked as he woke up.

"Aaron, you alright?" Pierre immediately went to his aid.

"I've been better, I've seen worse. But never mind that, what's going on with him?"

"Ah, I know! I'll adopt her maiden name! Haha, Lem Grimheart!" Lem thought about it, "E-Eh, actually, that's kinda weird. Then I'll make up a super cool new last name, like Deathflare!"

"If edgy had a name, it'd certainly be that." Issei kept teasing him, "Try again."

"Grrr...! Syndicate!"

"Nope."

"Warlynn!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Butter?"

"You'd give yourself and Nelly the last name Butter." Issei facepalmed.

"This kid might be dumber than the first General of ARA..." Aaron followed suit.

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***

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

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After the Gods paid everyone a visit, both parties had no other choice but to make amends and stop bickering. Though Jorgen absolutely despised the idea of ever showing respect to them, he's neither naive nor dumb enough to suddenly go in and attack Issei and Lem while the Gods are present, especially since they appear to be familiar with Issei.

"So, I remember hearing something about you not fulfilling your end of the mission?" Jorgen said as Aru Materialized some hearty sandwiches for everyone.

"How rude, quit glaring at me like I was the one at fault!" She hissed, making sure to add extra pickles to his sandwich, "It's because this big oaf got excited and jumped down prematurely. Ugh, and to think we were just a couple floors away from the fire..."

"Wait, so the fire's still raging on up there!?" Issei worriedly looked up.

"Ugh, damned pickles..." Jorgen grumbled as he discarded all of them from his sandwich, "I honestly couldn't give one less of a crap about some damned tree. Are you two forgetting our main mission here? We should be going to the old man right now!"

"Oh calm down, High and Mighty." Aru shot back, "Saving the Tree was always a secondary task in the grand scheme of things. It's the people who caused the fire that we were after."

"You're seriously gonna exact justice on some arsonist vandals?" Max returned a sour face, "The hell? Didn't you say you didn't wanna stick your nose in other people's business?"

Signaling Lem and Issei to keep their mouths shut in regards to the true identities of the people atop the Tree's crown, Auros and Aru had both looked at them seriously before continuing their conversation with the Generals. Thankfully, the two understood this signal without making it seem too obvious it existed.

"Well, you know us." Auros flexed his bicep, "The kindest of the Five! Err, Four."

"Hey, is it true Ouri liked Death Note?" Issei recalled his time in Japan.

"He's a massive weeb." Aru rolled her Eyes, "Geez, you didn't have to remind me of that! Honestly, it's the one uncool thing about my darling!"

"Allucius." A bead of sweat rolled down Auros' forehead.

"Seriously, sometimes I feel like he ran away to that damned island just to get me to stop following him around!" Aru stomped her foot on the ground angrily, "Ahh, but that's just my insecurity talking. Obviously he'd never treat me like that."

"Allucius, did you seriously not catch that?" Auros kept calling her.

"What? Catch what, you dimwit?!" She turned around to finally listen to him.

"The Foreigner met Ouroboras." He gulped.

"...He did?"

"Yeah, he almost burnt my dad to a pile of ashes." Issei laughed.

"Uh-huh, so he did..." Aru's Eyes suddenly turned starry, "Wait, you really met my darling!? Where? How does he look like? Is he still as cute and amazing as I remember? Did he mention me!?"

Her questions were as endless as her age, and by the time Issei could finally get a word in, everyone else had already finished their meals.

"First of all, I met him in my homeworld, so no clue about where he is in this one, much less if he still looks the same." Issei said with a heavy sigh.

"Nonsense, of course a God looks the same in every world!" Jorgen crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah, tell that to the hot adult babe with the perfect curves." Issei annoyedly pointed behind him to the small Aru, "In any case, the only mentions he made of Aru were when he called her annoy-!"

"Achoo!" Auros loudly sneezed, as if on purpose, thus sending all the snot from his nose piling onto Jorgen, "Ack, sorry, my allergies must be acting up."

"Tell me what you're allergic to." Jorgen unsheathed his sword, slicing away all the snot until he was spic and span, "I'll make sure to cull every single instance of it so that you'll never sneeze again."

"That's mighty kind, but I'm afraid I'm allergic to the truth." Auros signaled for Issei to shut up.

"So Gods can have allergies too..." Issei shrugged, "In any case, the only thing Ouri mentioned about Aru was..."

"BAHAHAHAHAHA!" Auros started laughing louder than ever before, "What the hell!? Kid, are you serious! That's hilarious!"

"I didn't say anything." Lem looked at him blankly.

"Kid." Auros' unwavering smile started to peer into his soul, "That. Joke. Was. Hilarious."

"What joke? I didn't hear anything from your loud ass laughing!" Aru wanted in on it as well.

"A-Ah, right! The joke!" Lem, who was all of a sudden put on the spot, had to think fast, "I-I was just saying how... snot-nosed Jorgen was."

"Oh, I assume that would've been way funnier if I heard it the first time." Aru apologized, "Sorry for making you repeat a joke. Those are always unfunny."

"Ha-ha..." Lem glanced partly at a death-glaring Jorgen.

"Your hours are numbered." He gently whispered.

"Wuh-Hours!? As in, not days!?"

Upon finding out he most probably won't live to see tomorrow, Lem kept hiding behind Issei for protection as everyone began to pack up and leave the scene. Given they apparently have no reason to go up to the top of the Tree anymore, they decided to follow the Gods outside. Going down the Tree seemed to be way easier and faster than going up, and that's mostly because of the fact that gravity worked in their favor.

"Jeronimooo~!" Auros yelled, jumping straight down to the bottom after everyone hopped on him.

"Wahhh~!!!!" They all shouted until they hit the ground.

With an earth-shattering, normally bone-breaking landing, everyone had safely exited the Tree thanks to Auros' crazy durable knees. Finally seeing the outside sky for the first time in what felt like ages, our two protagonists were surprised to find out they had only been in there for a few hours. The morning Sun had just begun to rise across the horizon, this hellish night had ended, paving the way for but one more hellish day... Hopefully.