Soon after, everything was cleared up and the family finally seemed to accept Ouroboras and me into their arms fully. Well, more like just me, cause it seems they've taken a crazy amount of liking to this Sun God. Dammit, it's not fair, obviously they'll flock to the literal all-knowing God who can already tell what they want to hear before they even say anything! Meanwhile here I am, just someone who wants to get back home and out of their hair as soon as possible, getting nothing but the stink Eye from the both of them.
「食べ物はとても美味しいです。」Ouroboras commented.
「もちろんです!妻のハンバーグは最高です!」Itsuo proudly announced.
「テーブルの前でしゃべるな!」Asa shut them up with an embarrassed tone.
「お母さんが恥ずかしがった~!」Issei jeered.
As the rowdy table kept their lively conversation going, the only idiot here who felt left out of it completely was quietly and awkwardly eating his hamburg steak in peace. The saddest part is, this is bland as hell, but I can't even ask for someone to pass me the salt. Seriously, Cecily makes way better steak even with her just below par cooking skills. Then again, the only difference you can make between hamburg steaks is how much you season it. I've noticed this before, but the Japanese really don't spice their food up, unless it's in their ramen, in which case they go all out to the point where you can't breath by the end of it. What an odd nation...
"Oh, sorry dude. We left you out on accident." Issei turned back to me after a while, "We were just talking about..."
"Nah, it'd be too tiring to translate every single topic to me, you don't gotta worry about me." I said as I put the knife on the steak, "Besides, dinnertime would take hours if you did."
"Ah, right. Sorry..." He once again lightly bowed before continuing to talk with his parents.
"Iros?" Itsuo looked intrigued, "You understand how crazy all this sounds, son."
"I'm being serious! Lune has some, no lie!" He then begged me to demonstrate, "Come on, Lune! Show these guys what a Vast Worlder can do!"
"Mhph!" I almost choked from the sudden question, "Dude, I'm eating right now."
"Come on, light a few Sparks at least!"
"Wait, fire?!" Itsuo jolted, "Absolutely not!"
"Oh right, that might burn the house down..." Issei looked down, "Then, Go Solipsistic and slow down time, you can do that!"
"You need to channel the respective philosophy of each Iro you Wield in order to use their Abilities." I sighed, "I dislike Going Solipsistic because it requires me to think like a jackass."
"Then, cut yourself and Heal up! That oughta work!"
"It would be best not to stain the furniture here with blood." Ouroboras answered for me.
"Oh come on! You do realize that until you give my parents SOMETHING they'll continue to think we're crazy, right?! Lune, what's the point of all those Iros if you can't use any of them without causing damage?"
"Well, there is one Iro Ability that I have that just so happens to do the opposite." I formed the hand sign, "Materialize! The Blue Iro's Ability that allows one to manifest whatever they can imagine fully!"
As the Blue light from the wormhole created in my hand began to glow, I had caught the attention of both Itsuo and Asa as I put my remaining three fingers into the hole the other two just created. In my mind's Eye, I had rendered a 3D figure. This figure had to be small, so as not to cause any damage and only prove a point, easy enough to make for me to know its structure, and lastly - Dazzling enough to knock their socks off! The item can only be...!
"A dagger!" I whipped it out, "Aha, quite the sharp blade indeed!"
"T...!?" Itsuo jumped, "That's incredible! Wait, was that a trick just now? Empty your pockets and pull up your sleeves, you must be a swindler!"
"No tricks here." I cheekily did as he asked, "That being the case, you can keep this dagger as a gift if you want. Though it's rude to leave out the wife like this, so for Asa-san, a flower!"
"Ah, he remembered the honorific this time." Ouroboras smiled.
"Yeah, but given the context, is -san even appropriate?" Issei smirked.
Sniffing the flowers as if to prove they're not fake, the mother had made quite the refreshing face indeed. It seems I've charmed her, but what of mister Gudo next to her? Ah, who am I kidding? Everyone likes daggers!
"I don't want it." He plainly gave it back to me.
"Eh? You're gonna send the gift back?" I panicked, "But...! Apart from swords, knives are the coolest thing in the world! Ask my wife, she cried tears of joy when I bought her a pair of titanium daggers for our anniversary!"
"Gifting your wife daggers?" Itsuo pinched the bridge between his Eyes, "You can't be serious..."
"Don't worry, it's a trait unique to them." Issei comforted him with a grin, "Those two have brawl for brains, so it makes sense for them. Me on the other hand? I stick to more traditional gifts, like an expensive date or an all expenses paid trip."
"Right, that's the expected gift for anniversaries..." Itsuo then noticed, "Hold on, my son doesn't have a girlfriend!"
"First of all, ouch." Issei was at this point grinning from ear to ear, ready to announce something big to his father, "Secondly, that's where you're wrong, old man! Cause your son's got two!"
Upon unveiling the fact that he has two girlfriends to his dad in literally the worst and most embarrassing way possible, the room had grown quiet. Ouroboras and I hid from the shame, not wanting to be dragged into the situation, the father and son both awkwardly stared at each other for way too long, and the innocent Asa who couldn't speak a lick of Entropic was still happily sitting in her seat and smelling the roses I gave her.
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"Two... of what?" Itsuo frowned.
"Girls."
"...In your basement?"
"What the fu-? No, two girls fawning over me."
"Slaves?"
"Aren't you supposed to assume the term is crushes? What the hell is your image of me, dammit." Issei grunted, "No, I mean girlfriends. Literally, I fulfilled every man's wild dream to have a harem. No lie."
"Those poor girls... Lune-san, did you not once think to call the police on my son?" Itsuo turned to me with sincerity in his voice, "Is there even law enforcement in that primitive world of yours?"
"As a matter of fact, I did think to do that at first." I chuckled, "But when I saw how serious they all were about each other, I couldn't help but cheer them on."
The father, now more confused than anything, had turned to his wife to explain everything in order. The mother smiled through the entire retelling until they got to the topic of Eleanor and Othelia, gesticulated by the father pointing to Issei and lifting two fingers to signify the two girls. It was then when the mother's gaze turned into one of abject disgust. Oh right, didn't Issei mention polygamy is frowned upon in this world?
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"So, son..." Itsuo tried awkwardly to talk to him as we sat down together in the living room, "What are their names?"
"Othelia and Eleanor."
"Mhm. And...?" Daddy Gudo danced around the question, "How did you two-err, three... meet?"
"What's with the awkward pauses? Come on, I didn't commit tax fraud, I just got involved with two chicks for the price of one, pops."
"How did you manage to make your actions sound worse than tax fraud?" Ouroboras sounded genuinely impressed more than anything.
"Shut up, what's important is that we're happy together!" Issei shot back before explaining, "Sigh, look dad, it's a long story, but basically Othelia and I met first, and a few years later, we came across Eleanor, who became good friends with Othelia and fell in love with me."
"So your most logical next course of action was to take her as well!?" Itsuo made a disappointed and confused face, "Seriously, you've read too much anime, and the worst part is that you somehow abused the norms of this other world to disappoint not one but two girls..."
"They seemed pretty happy whenever we had se-" Issei got shut up by me before he stepped out of line.
"Ahem. I believe this topic is best reserved for when you actually meet them in person." I stated, "That being the case, it would be best to focus on getting ME back to MY world until then."
"Wait, so they're not here with you?" Itsuo raised an Eyebrow.
"Nah. They were supposed to come with me, but thanks to Lune messing up the ritual, he got sent here with me instead." Issei complained, "Now we gotta visit all the World Wonders on Earth to set everything straight."
"Sorry..." I gloomed.
"The World Wonders?" Itsuo then asked something odd, "The new ones or the old ones?"
"Huh?" We tilted our heads at that, "New? Old?"
"Son, you DO know that Earth changed its world wonders years ago, right?" Itsuo asked, "Cause most of the old ones got ruined and lost to time."
"What!? That's totally bad, though!" I jolted, "Can you even change such a thing?! What the hell, Ouroboras said they never expire!"
"And they don't." Ouroboras calmly elaborated, "World Wonders have a natural 'air' to them. The shape doesn't matter, as long as that 'air' exists to instill awe in the people witnessing its glory. In other words, the World Wonders, much like the Five Gods, can change their bodies at any time, but there will always be 5 Gods, and there will always be 7 World Wonders."
"Huh... Wait, seven?" I furrowed my brows, "I thought it was six?"
"It was, until Olyahim ruined it..." Ouroboras clicked his tongue.
Huh, I don't get it. He mentioned that Olyahim guy again, but it's still something I can't fathom. Is he saying that that guy made a seventh World Wonder? Or is he saying he turned himself INTO a World Wonder? After all, an immortal person that transcends Universes does sound pretty wondrous...
"Five Gods? Never mind..." Itsuo continued on, "So you are in fact talking about the new ones, then?"
"Indeed, they are..." Ouroboras cleared his throat, "Chichén Itzá in Mexico, the Colosseum in Italy, Petra in Jordan, Taj Mahal in India, The Great Wall of China, Peru's Machu Picchu, and the Statue of Christ the Redeemer in Brazil. Visiting and touching all seven will allow Lune to return home."
"And have Othelia and Eleanor come here." Issei added onto the end.
"I forbid it."
"Oh come on, Ouri! They won't hurt nobody!"
"Do you not remember my warning?" Ouroboras' Eyes glew White, "Failure to comply will result in immediate incin-!"
"Ahem." I pointed to the scared and confused parents.
"I-Incarceration." Ouroboras changed the final word to be more appropriate.
"Incarcerated? Ah, so you're a cop, Ouroboras-san." Itsuo smiled.
"Indeed, I am..." He glanced back at us and nodded, "A police officer."
"Pfft!" Issei barely stifled his laughter, "Y-Yeah, the best there, bahaha, the best there is!"
Well, incineration and incarceration probably doesn't mean much difference when Ouroboras is the one dishing the punishment out. Still, we somehow managed to fool them into making Ouroboras seem like a normal person. He did mention after all that it's always bad news the more people find out about the Five Gods, but had it not been for me, he would have very easily given himself away just now. Seriously, is this guy even trying? He'd be the worst super hero in the world with that lack of a sense for privacy...