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Vol.13 Ch.284 - Zero to herO

Today is the day - The rank up ceremony. Thankfully, everyone passed without a hitch, meaning Kevin made it to DeciQuart, I became a Heit, Lemmy is now a proud Septim, and Javi is a content Quartion, joining Kiria in the ranks. It's been six months since I enrolled in here, and I have met quite a lot of friends. Nelly is gonna be 11 in a couple of months, meaning there is still but a year and a half left until she can join us. Still, there is much to do.

Kevin, he seems to be getting better over time. It took him a while to fully accept that Kiria just isn't ready for a relationship just yet, but after a few more sessions at the gym and a lot of therapy talks later, I think he's starting to understand the importance of a tactical retreat. He seems to be back to his usual spirits and demeanor, and we've since banned Lemmy from buying him any other forms of milk that weren't dairy. All in all, he might not have caught Kiria's Eye just yet, but that isn't to say we're giving up on the prospect.

Lemmy, he's grown quite a bit since we've first met. He used to be an annoying pipsqueak who's size always served as a handicap for the pranks he would pull. Sadly, it seems he's only grown physically in these past six months, because the only times he feigns maturity is when Kiria's around. She babied him a lot before, but these days she seems to be keeping an appropriate distance. He finds great pride in that fact, and sadly doesn't hesitate to torment Kevin with it as well, though Kevin's newfound stoic nature is shielding him well.

Kiria, the best way to describe her after all this time would be "disillusioned", and I mean that on both sides. During the whole investigation chapter of our lives, she imagined herself to be some sort of mysterious and cool mistress, what with not calling anyone by their names and outright refusing to let others do the same to her. There was a name for these types of people, and I think Issei was actually the one that taught me about them - Chuunibyous, I think he called them. He mentioned something about 8th grade, but BasicEd only has 5 grades, so I don't know what school he went to. After I settled everything regarding the System though, she calmed down and began to act pretty normal. She still kept the facade of the cool beauty when she's on campus, but it's kind of difficult to look at her the same way when she walks around the house wearing nothing but short shorts and a white tank top, not to mention often being seen drinking a can of beer. These days though, she seems to frequent peeking at Kevin and me as we do our daily strength training. It's not a bother to me, especially since I've noticed that her gaze is fixed on Kevin almost exclusively, but I worry that she might once again hurt him by doing this. Maybe I should chew this slob of a Quartion out for it later...

Speaking of Quartions, Javi seems to be super cheery these past few days. His short Brownish blonde hair has been really well kempt as of late, and he always has this smug smile when speaking to Lemmy. He's plotting something, and I should definitely be wary about it. Don't forget, he's still a staff member at this place, not to mention he's the one who confiscated the mysterious Book of Misfortune and took it back to the Library. Something tells me that if anyone's gonna find out about the server room massacre, it's gonna be him. He's been super helpful around the house though, so I might spare him and offer him some of the gigabytes from the stash as hush money. He's desperately in need of money, so I'm sure he'll accept.

Ah, have we finally made it to me? Right, as you know, I was the cause of Aguilar's group's demise. They didn't cause me that much trouble, per se, but their demeanor told me they were the reckless type, not at all good with covering up their tracks. One day, there was a chance their actions would lead to problems regarding Nelly's enrollment into Uni. I wasn't gonna take any chances, so I swiftly dealt with them and buried the bodies under a bunch of endangered species of plants, in addition to burying them vertically. It took a long time, but it was statistically the safest way I could go about burying a bunch of dead bodies. After that, I was left with a bunch of money I didn't even know what to do with. I deactivated the System, meaning no one is Glitching out anymore, but I still need to return all these gigabytes upon gigabytes of money into circulation one way or another.

The way I've been doing so is actually quite simple. I take about a gigabyte's worth of money and spend it over time as "monthly income" from the Grimhearts. It's a believable lie, and no one will look into it any further because I don't actually spend all that much more than I usually do. I'll play the long game and won't go splurging. Right, that's the best way to live life as a money launderer.

"Nonim Deram Meil." The burly voice of professor Jethro called me up to the stage, "Will Nonim Deram Meil please step up and receive his diploma for rank Heit?"

As the tired students clapped and cheered in their standard unenthusiastic tempo, I had made my way up and firmly shook my professor's hand. He handed me the diploma, to which I raised it high up as a sign of respect to the school and it's teachings. Of course, this was merely just a formality and a part of the school's tradition I had to conform to, as I really didn't learn all too much from the lectures here. Shame too, I had expected more from them. Nelly's pretty eager to learn though, so I imagine she'll be way more thrilled.

***

"And with that, the rank up awards have concluded!" Jethro raised his arms up high, "To all of you who have not been called up today, know that there is no shame in that, for just being a part of our community is a greater achievement than anything else in the world!"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Wow, he's really making us out to be some elite..." Javi whispered over to us with a snicker.

"But to those of you who have been awarded with a rank closer to every scholar's ultimate goal, the rank of Onum, you may rejoice!" Jethro shouted, hitting the table with his fist, "Rejoice, for you are our University's pride and joy! Rejoice, for you are a semester smarter! Rejoice, for you are the scholars of Dimitri Uni!"

With that loud and passionate speech coming to its closing statements, everyone in the room burst into cheers as the University caps flew high up towards the hall's ceiling. I was caught off guard, as I wasn't informed of the tradition, so in the end everyone sort of looked at me weird when I was the only one still left with my cap on.

"Well, you all know what that means...!" Lemmy chuckled as he rounded all of the scholars around me, "If a scholar doesn't throw his cap, we throw him! Here's to another successful semester!"

Not but a second after he said that, I was briskly lifted off my feet and throw high up towards the ceiling. Kevin and Lemmy were the ones who most contributed to the strength put into the chucks, whilst Kiria and Javi stood by away from the crowd to watch me get more and more sick from the experience. After all that celebrating, our group decided to have our own more private and calmer celebration over at Jelena's coffee shop.

"Ugh, why did no one warn me about this stupid tradition...?" I gagged as I held tightly onto my temples.

"Forgot to throw the cap, eh newbie?" Jelena teased as she gave us all our drinks and sat down with us, "Well I'll be, it's pretty funny seeing you be made the fool for once."

"Yeah, to think Jelena's hunch was right." Kiria giggled, sipping her tea with a gleeful expression, "I knew you didn't look into our school's history all that much, but to think you really didn't know about something so iconic as the cap throw."

"Eh?" I glanced over at her, "Say that again?"

"Hm? The cap throw?" She smiled innocently as Jelena tried to run away.

"No, the other thing. You said Jelena was the one behind all this?" I glared over at the black haired girl that desperately acted innocent, "Jelena, you were the one who told them not to inform me on this?"

"Erm, ha-ha... That's..." She twiddled her fingers bashfully before confessing in a hurry, "S-So what!? Got a problem with a little peer prank, is that it!?"

"No, it's just kind of funny." I surprised everyone by smiling instead of frowning, "I joined this University to study, yes, but I'm moreso focused on making as many good friends as possible. To think I'm blessed to have someone like you who considers it safe to pull pranks on me, it really means a lot."

"Meil, you doing alright? Did my bangin' muscles throw you so high up you hit your head on the ceiling?" Kevin sounded worried.

"Right, ignoring this muscle-head's pride and boasting, it really is kind of odd of you to act like this." Lemmy agreed, "At least to us that is. You usually hate it when I prank you."

"That's because your pranks involve putting salt in my morning coffee." I glared back at him.

"Humu, well, it could be that." Javi glanced back at the startled Jelena with a cheery tone, "Or he just treats a certain someone more favorably than the others?"

A harmonic "Oooh~!" with a hint of teasing filled the room as everyone around the table began to tease us. Because of this, Jelena got a bit peeved and stormed off in a hurry, but they didn't seem to feel bad at all, even going so far as to laugh behind her back. These guys...!

"There, you got your payback for her prank." Javi sat back with a content smile, "But remember, she threw the first punch, so it's your duty to prank her back at as many chances as you can find."

"Is that how being friends works?" I tilted my head at them.

"U-Uh, yeah, sure." Kevin stifled his laughter, which kind of made me suspicious, "That'll definitely lead to you two being friends. Just don't go overboard and try to make her as playfully uncomfortable as possible."

Sifting through my memory to see if I can find any references on this type of relationship, the only thing I could recall would be the times Lune made Cecily blush with his incessant and inappropriate comments. Though they are a romantic couple and not friends, I'm sure I can reach favorable results if I try and emulate his humor. It's a bit daunting, but then again she was livid with his adulterous escapade back then yet they still made up, so I'm sure it'll be fine.

"Yeah, I think I get what you're saying." I smiled back as I continued sipping my coffee.

"Just friends, huh?" Kiria offhandedly muttered, glancing over at Kevin with a guilty expression on her face. Lemmy didn't seem to appreciate that, so he quickly changed the topic.

"Right! In other news, my dad said he's safely situated himself back in Entropa." Lemmy looked over to where I was sitting, "He said he'll come back again to visit once the dust settles, which should be in around a year or so."

"That's good. I hear Entropa's doing pretty well, now that the war is mostly calming down and all." I smiled.

"Aww, that means we won't be living together after a year." Kevin slouched.

"It's alright, we can just move back into the dorms when that happens." I smiled, recalling the laundered money I desperately needed to get rid of, " T-The family that sent me over to here actually rewarded me with a pretty hefty sum of money for successfully ranking up, so paying rent shouldn't be an issue."

"Really?! That's sick! That family of yours is awesome!" Javi heard 'no rent' and his Irises turned to money signs, "But it's not YOUR family right? No one does that to someone else's child unless they tasked you with something. What's the catch?"

"Catch? There's no catch." I smiled, looking out of the window to the specific direction of where Cardina, nay, Nelly was, "I just need to take care of their daughter once she enrolls here with us later!"