After finishing my chat with two of my ex-coworkers, I passed the border between Tertis and Secundis. Finally, I thought, I made it back home for real this time. I was over the moon when I thought about seeing my parents once again, but they’ll have to wait a bit before they get to see the new and improved me.

I didn’t really make any more stops in between the border and Springwood, it was more so a beeline in that regard. I guess I did stop by the river to replenish my water supply and take a quick break from the motion sickness induced by the hellish wagon ride, but that’s it, really.

Entering the gates of the city couldn’t have felt more nostalgic. It kind of reminded me of Bilgam’s gates, which kind of makes me happy. Looks like I have a lot of places I consider home, eh? I got so lost in thought that I almost exited the wagon without paying (jeez, that would’ve been embarrassing!)

I walked around the periphery of the town for a bit more before ultimately deciding to visit the plaza. It spread out in front of me in the exact same way it did all those years ago, except something was different this time.

“Pastries! Get your Trivis Numerica pastries!” A voice yelled out advertisements into the crowded area, “Very affordable, just a single gold coin for a hearty meal you won’t regret!”

Man, to think we used to consider a gold coin to be way too expensive, how stupid we were I thought. Honestly, I could probably buy out this guy’s entire shop with the money I have now, but I’ll refrain for now, I’ve got more pressing matters than making some random guy’s day.

I walked by the very same viewpoint where Grim pushed me off that day. Heh, he really did have some crazy ideas, didn’t he? But they’d always work for some reason, how odd… Eh, I guess I should be thankful to him for giving me free healthcare. To think he was always looking out for my wellbeing, even when he himself was on the brink of starvation!

“…” I looked out below me and basked in the beautiful visage of the town viewed from a highpoint, “I should go visit Arthur. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see me.”

And just like that, I hopped down the very same viewpoint I once fell down. Thinking back, what I did just now was probably really weird for onlookers, but I didn’t care. I guess I just wanted to prove to the world how much I’ve grown. Something like Now that I’m big, I can jump off this height without any injuries! is the message I wanted to show.

“WHOA!” A surprised voice jumped in surprise after seeing me fall from above, “Calm down there, kiddo. You don’t wanna sprain your ankles!”

“A-Ah!” I immediately turned around to apologize to this fellow for scaring him, “Apologies, I-It’s just I wanted to… HUH?!?”

To my absolute surprise, I recognized this person. But that’s not all, I also recognized the person standing next to him and laughing audibly. They were none other than Uncle Ridge and Graal Thurs (What on earth are they doing here together?!)

“Uncle Ridge!” I pointed to him, “And Mr. Thurs, too!?”

“Well well well, if it isn’t my dear nephew!” The chipper Uncle came up to give me a hug, “Was the world too much for you after all?”

“Wait, aren’t you the kid who passed the exam with that other one?” The confused Graal tried his best to remember, “Yeah, now that I get a good look at you, there’s no mistaking it!”

“Hold on, you two know each other?” I asked them outright.

“Heck yeah we do!” Uncle Ridge got offended at my words, “We’ve been best friends since childhood! Our bond has a legendary status!”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Graal Thurs, the guy whose connections allowed me and Grim to take the ITA entrance exam and get our passports all the way in Leins, and my very Uncle, who’s been in his little village of Wheats for as long as I can remember, are best friends?!? Wow, the world is truly small, I wonder if Uncle knows Arthur then…

“But wait, wasn’t there one other person with you back then?” Graal asked me, “If I recall correctly, wasn’t it Arthur’s granddaughter?”

“Yeah.” I confirmed his claims, “And from what she told me in her letters, she’s apparently somewhere in Cardina helping spread the Arthur’s restaurant chain.”

“Hold it!” Uncle Ridge suddenly joined the conversation, “That girl that was following you around was Old Man Arthur’s granddaughter!? But wait, wasn’t she like three the last time we saw her?” He said as he turned to Graal.

“She obviously grew up, dumbass.” Graal gave him a slap on the back of the head, “You’re just getting old.”

This little slapstick comedy routine of theirs reminded me of Carter and Grim, in a way. They’d always hit each other when correcting themselves, and since they’re both pretty much brawns over brains, those corrections where all too frequent. Eventually it would escalate into a fight between them, and they’d go at it for hours on end, before finally both collapsing at around the same time due to exhaustion.

Neither of them won a single duel, but I think that was their intention from the start. I guess it was kind of like a friendly battle between fellow Generals meant to blow off some excess steam.

I do remember one time when Cecily caught wind of this and stormed into the battle grounds to beat both of them up. She surprisingly didn’t hold back against either of them, and was therefore promptly crowned the strongest person in the entire gang immediately after finishing up her brutal beating of both her idiot boyfriend and dumbass brother.

Ah, no time for flashbacks! Right now I need to catch up with these two idiots in front of me!

“So, Eddie,” Uncle Ridge put his arm over my shoulders, “You got the hots for the Old Man’s granddaughter?”

“What!?” I was taken aback.

“Oh come on, we’re family! No reason to be so reserved about this.” He gave an understanding tone, “How far did you two go? Sending each other letters regularly, traveling through half of Entropa together? Psssh, sounds like a pretty nice little romance is blooming, I tell ya.”

“With all due respect, Uncle Dearest,” I removed his arm from my shoulders, “We’re not like that.”

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Thanks to his stupid little joke, I was once again reminded of the time I lied to Ms. Harper about Anna being my girlfriend. Worst part is, I said that in front of Arthur! Gahhh, I wanna curl up in a ball and die! Uuuuugh, why did I say that!?!

“Y’know, denying it is only gonna make you more conscious of her, no?” He misunderstood my aversion to the topic.

“Just please shut up.” I begged him with a dejected tone, “I can’t take any more embarrassment.”

He looked at me with a face that screamed Ooh! I found your weak spot!, but Graal just silently shook his head at him and somehow singlehandedly made Uncle stop with his semantics. Guess that’s just how best friends are, I guess.

“I-In any case, what are you two doing here?” I asked.

“We’re fulfilling our childhood dream, of course!” Uncle Ridge said, “We’re building a school, right here in Stringwood!”

It actually took me a minute to register the incredible statement they just announced. D-Did… Did I hear that right? A… school? IN ENTROPA?!? But schools and universities can only be found in the continent of Simpleton! Wouldn’t that cause problems for the rest of the world if a small little sub country like Secundis got a school of its very own?!

“Now, now,” Graal added, “I can tell from your face that you’re unsure if this will work, but have faith in us. For too long has Simpleton been the only place to get a proper education, and I really don’t want anyone else to have to be sent all the way there just to learn something as essential as math, languages and art!”

“I-I see.” I nodded with little to no vigor, “But Grim and I know quite a bit in all those subjects, safe from art I guess.”

“Well, yeah.” Graal refuted, “But you two idiots ran away from home and basically brute forced your way through the education system.”

Well, when you put it like that…

“O-Okay then.” I shakily replied, “But who, if I may ask, will teach the people who enroll in this school?”

“We’ve gathered some of our ex-classmates who devoted themselves to being traveling professors to stay here and teach in a more stationary style. But we’ll be helping as well from time to time.” Uncle Ridge went on to explain.

“Procuring a building and convincing the local law enforcement was a real drag, though.” Said Graal, “It took a lot of bribing to get to where we are, but we persevered. But this is all for the sake of the future generation, as well as the future of Secundis, nay, Trivis Numerica as a country!”

His loud and passionate shouts garnered the attention of some bystanders, so they went to check what was going on. Graal and Uncle quickly went into ‘businessman mode’ and started advertising their new school that they’re building.

“I’m sure you’ve seen the construction site by now, but just in case you haven’t,” Uncle said to the curious onlookers, “It’s just a block away, you can even see it peeking out from beyond those buildings over there!”

“And why should we send our children there?” A denier came to refute them, “How do we know you’ve got a quality curriculum?”

“Well, just take a look at my dear nephew here!” Uncle used me as an example, “He followed my teachings and look how well he turned out! He’s made all the money in the world as a traveling merchant!”

I’m not really sure what he’s talking about, though. Maybe that’s what he thought I did while I was away from TN? Well, I guess it’s best not to tell him I was actually involved in a gang then. Also, he’s treating me like I’m some mega genius scholar who he personally tutored (none of the aforementioned claims are true, by the way), so I don’t see what he stands to gain from this.

“Come on, Eddie, show ‘em how you got your fortune!” Uncle nudged me as he suggested I sell a quill to someone from the crowd, “It’s a simple trick, but it’ll prove to these guys we can be trusted.”

“(Besides,)” He whispered to me, “(If you do this one thing for me, I’ll excuse your sudden departure from my house all those years back, y’hear?)”

“W-Well folks!” I immediately sprang into action, “Anyone here in need of a writing utensil such as a quill? Y’know what they say, one skilled quill quells any and all ill will!”

They seemed to like my little tongue twister, but one fact still remained, all these people are illiterate, ergo they’ve no need for a quill in their lives. Looks like Uncle really wanted to test me, that or he just wanted to get back at me for running away from him back at Wheats.

“A-Alright then!” I decided to change my game plan, “I should probably mention why having this quill with you is the right choice to make! Even though it may not seem like it, I’ve been around the world. And in that time I managed to find a harpy, which I’ve since killed.”

“A harpy?” Everyone got excited at the word, “They exist? Where? You really killed a harpy? Did you eat it? Was it tasty?”

The crowds questions suddenly started to go off topic, so I quickly steered them in the right direction, “That isn’t the point. Point is, I killed the harpy and used its feathers to make this special quill with magical properties!”

“Bullshit!” One member of the crowd suddenly yelled out, “I just saw that guy hand you that quill. It’s not special at all!”

“That’s cause I lent it to him, okay?!” I screamed back to shut him up, “Now listen, thanks to this quill, I can command any and all animals! This is because a Harpy is considered to be every animal’s apex predator, and the words written with its feathers instill fear into the hearts of said animals, leading to them listening to the commands I write on them!”

They seemed to buy the explanation I made up, hell yeah! Now all that’s left is to prove it to them! I asked Graal to hand me a scrap piece of paper and some ink, and I asked Uncle Ridge to find me an animal I could borrow.

The paper and ink were procured without any issues, the animal on the other hand…

“Yo, Eddie!” Uncle rushed in with a chicken squirming about in his hands, “Will this do?”

Goddammit, you idiot. You gave me the one animal that has barely any cognitive thoughts in its head. Nice going, you get a slow clap. Bravo.

“Y-Yep!” I tried to hide my disappointment, “I-It’ll do…!”

I wrote on the piece of paper “Fetch me the coin I’m about to toss.” and made sure everyone saw what I wrote. After that I slid the scrap of paper over to the chicken, and while no one was looking murmured in Animal Tongue.

“(Da mihi…)” I noticed I don’t know the word for ‘Coin’, “(Uhh, da mihi…)”

Just then, I got a flash of inspiration. I pulled out the coin from my pocket and shoved it in its face as I once again chanted the very same phrase. It finally understood my intentions, and nodded accordingly (actually, it might’ve just nodded randomly. I’ve never actually tried talking to chickens before, just dogs, cats and rabbits, so this is in all actuality nothing more than a gamble).

I tossed the coin and started praying to Lord Prylos. Everyone’s hearts skipped a beat the moment I threw the coin into the crowd, and patiently waited for the chicken to make its move. It stood there for what felt like an eternity, and that eternity only made me more and more anxious.

I once again muttered under my breath, as a last ditch effort, this one magic word.

“(Quaeso…)”

“Bene.” The chicken’s thoughts materialized in front of me.

In that moment, the chicken immediately made a mad dash to the coin, pecking it off the ground almost immediately. This was then followed by it clucking its way back to me and plopping the coin in the palm of my hand.

I fell back on my butt in relief, murmuring “Gratias… Gratias tibi…” over and over again. Needless to say, the crowd was ecstatic, and were now bidding crazy amounts for the quill. Right as I was about to pick one random person from the crowd to give it to, though, Uncle Ridge took the quill from my hand and pocketed it himself.

“Now now,” He calmed down the over excited group, “This was only a little demonstration, the quill has nothing to do with the school (although I must say I’m beyond impressed). So what do you say, guys? If you send your kids to my school, they too will be able to sell any and all things with ease and make a fortune for you as merchants!”

“We’ll send them to you as soon as you open!” The crowd cheered in unison.

“Hahah, glad to hear it!” Graal ushered me away while keeping the crowd at bay, ”Eddie, we’ll talk to you later about how you managed all this, but for now you should probably hide somewhere before these guys overwhelm you.”

“I’ll do just that.” I said with a chuckle, ”Well, as long as you’ve got everything under control over here, things should be fine. Good luck with… these guys!”

“Thanks, kiddo!”

After that, I got a really painful headache and really wanted to unwind a bit, so I headed straight to Arthur’s restaurant. Looks like the fatigue from this trip is finally setting in, I need to lay down somewhere as soon as possible. Let’s just hope Arthur’s not planning anything crazy like these guys are… I’m not talking to a chicken ever again!