So that’s what’s going on. Cecily, the ice cold thorn princess of ARA, the killing machine, an elegant flower that weaves her way through any battlefield inducing nothing but clean cuts to only the most critical and painless points on the enemy. Cecily, the girl that has told me time and time again that she doesn’t care if I’m against killing or not, because she’ll do the job she set out accomplish no matter what, she’s right now telling me that she doesn’t feel like killing anymore?

She said it so simply as well, as if it’s just a hobby she doesn’t enjoy doing anymore. It was like that. I don’t feel like it, my ass! You’re in a war, no one wants to kill, but everyone knows it’s either them or the enemy pointing a weapon at them!

“I know it sounds stupid.” She continued from last chapter.

“It sure does.” I clicked my tongue, “Especially given the fact that you only said this to me after you signed up for the damned war. Ugh, I even told you it’s not a good idea, but you just had to be spiteful…”

“Look, I know I messed up, but don’t be an ass about it. In any case, it’s not a skill issue, I can still kill anyone if I put my heart and soul into it, but that’s just the thing – I have neither the heart nor the soul to kill anyone after Pierre said those things. Looking at Nelly hugging the teddy bear Pierre lent her… I dunno, it just sort of reminded me of Jean…”

Jean? If I remember correctly, that was Aaron’s boyfriend or something to that effect. He grieved him a lot after he got shot by a stray arrow right as the gang war between BilBros and TBL started. But Cecily and that guy never met before, so why him?

“Remember the stray arrow?” She paused for a bit, “And do you remember just how proficient I am in ranged weaponry?”

“No…” I finally realized, “Don’t tell me. Please tell me I’m stupid and correct me, but… We’re you the one that fired off that stray arrow?”

Nodding in silence, Cecily could only agree to my suggestion. I don’t know what came over me, I was too nauseous to even think straight. Thinking that I’m about to collapse from the shock, I closed the distance between us, hoping for her to catch me, but then…

*SLAP*

Quickly opening my eyes and looking at what had just happened, I was appalled by what I had seen. Cecily, with a face that held nothing but sadness and shock in it, stared at me whilst holding the red hand print on her cheek. Checking my right hand immediately after to understand where this stinging sensation was coming from, I finally got the true picture of what had actually transpired in front of the doors to the sleeping quarters. I had slapped her, with all of my might put into it. My hands were a bit sweaty too, so I imagine that it must’ve hurt her a lot more than it did me.

Wuh-? I thought as my body moved on its own, pinning her to the wall behind us, “What the fuck’s the matter with you?! You damned murdering psychopath!”

H-Hold on…!? Why am I so angry at her? She did confess to killing Aaron’s loved one, but I never met Jean in my life, so why am I so angry right now? Why did I hit Cecily, I don’t even remember doing that! What’s going on, my body isn’t listening to me at all!

“I-I’m sorry!” She whimpered.

“Sorry doesn’t bring people back from the dead!” I yelled, “You’re nothing more than a damned murderer, you killed hundreds of people before in your life, committed thousands of atrocities! People of all ages died from the gang wars you and Carter caused! And now you’re getting cold feet?”

What the hell am I saying?! Of course you should apologize, and while it indeed doesn’t bring people back from the dead, you at least show that you feel bad for it! Cecily, please don’t listen to all this nonsense I’m spouting! I don’t really mean it!

“I’m…!” She tried desperately to defend herself, only to get slapped in the face yet again.

“Shut it! Aaron lost someone important to him because of you, and you think that that justifies you wanting to bail out now?! Well news flash, you heartless bitch! You paid for your sins by losing Carter in that fire, so you’re still at a net neutral!”

Net neutral?! My vocal chords aren’t at all making sense, it’s as if they have a mind of their own! War is bad, even I never wanted to be a part of it from the start, so why am I reacting this way to seeing my loved one so desperately want to run away from it?

“But what about Nelly-?” She tried speaking before getting cut off yet again.

“Screw that! Are you using your daughter as an excuse now? Have you no shame, or are you really that rotten of a person?”

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Slowly, while I hadn’t noticed it, my palm had clenched up into a fist. Punching the wall next to her face to intimidate her, I had only then gotten back to my senses when I noticed that I had punched a hole straight through the wall, waking up the others in the process.

“Hans! Alert!” A soldier could be heard waking up his bunk mate, before the others quickly realized what was going on and jumped out of their beds as well.

“…Let’s get in and apologize for the ruckus we caused just now, okay?” I sheepishly suggested to the now quivering Cecily.

***

Nodding with a stutter, she gulped and hiccupped a few more times before collecting herself and following me inside the room. Inside, we could see that everyone was huddled up around Nelly’s bed.

“Oi!” I yelled out, “Get away from her!”

“Please don’t do anything to her!” Cecily cried out.

“Stop!” One of the soldiers that knew some Entropic spoke up, “We’re protecting her! You guys are the ones that shouldn’t approach!”

…I see. So that’s what’s happening. They think that we’re an abusive family because of my little display just now. Figures, I really messed up now, and there’s no turning back.

“Mommy!” Nelly ran through the wall of buff Aurolian men and jumped into her mother’s crying embrace, “You two shouldn’t fight! I was so scawed!”

“I know, Nel, I know! I’m sorry, it was mommy’s fault, but it won’t happen again!”

Eh…? B-But it wasn’t your fault? I was the one that lashed out for some unknown reason, so the blame is on me, no? Hey, stop it! Don’t take the blame for me!

“I’m sorry too, not just to Nelly, but to everyone else here.” I raised my head at all the people that were giving me death glares, “You, the guy that can understand me, please tell the others what I’m about to say – We got a bit scared about entering the war effort, and I kind of freaked out. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

Slowly nodding, the soldier turned to the others and began parroting my words in Aurolian. The others were still giving me the stink eye for making Cecily cry and scaring Nelly, but at least they sort of understood that I too was just a guy that was forced to attend the war against my own will. Jumping back into their beds, they continued to sleep the night away. Nelly, however, didn’t wanna fall asleep alone in her bed.

“I’m scawed.” She whimpered, “Can I sleep with mom and dad tonight?”

“Ha-ha, sure sweetie, but…” I glanced at Cecily for a moment before speaking, “Your mommy and daddy aren’t sleeping in the same bed, as you can see.”

“Why not?” She questioned my logic as she snuggled up to her mother, “Can’t you just join us?”

Unable to refute her any more, I looked at Cecily to see if she would be alright with it, before getting the go ahead and hesitantly laying in her bed. It was warm, but also pretty cramped. You could tell that the bed was meant for one person at a time, but we weren’t following those rules. We weren’t playing their games, we were above them, different. The others looked on with question marks above them, unable to comprehend just what in the world had transpired in these past few minutes.

“Lune, you’re falling off of the bed, come closer.” Cecily tugged me back onto the bed.

“I kind of deserve to fall after what I did to you just now.” I chuckled in a self-deprecating manner, “I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what got over me.”

“Who cares about that? I’ve fought so much in my life, a slap or two really don’t faze me anymore. That being said, I’m glad you care so much for others that you’d be so frustrated with me over it. I’m sorry too.”

No, that’s not right. You’re supposed to be mad at me! I hurt you, the woman I swore to protect! Without even being in control of my body, I lashed out at my family and hurt you! Get mad! Get so angry that you’ll wanna slice me up with your throwing knives! I deserve it, come on!

“…Thank you for accepting my apology.” I began weeping as I scooted closer to them, “I’m truly lucky to have you, Cecily. No one else in the world but me. You’re a one of a kind gemstone, to accept my apology like this. Too bad we probably won’t live for much longer, due to this damned war.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Face it, after signing our lives away to the army, we have no other choice but to go to the battlefield until the war is over. It’s a pretty new war, as well, as it only started around the time the Mobius Awards took place. One of us might survive this by sheer dumb luck, but the chances of all three of us surviving is…”

“Don’t say another word.” She put her hand on my cheek, “You’ll scare Nel if you do.”

Looking down at the sleeping little girl nestled in between us, I slowly, albeit hesitantly, grabbed her hand with my own. Nelly probably couldn’t realize what was going on, as she was sleeping, so she returned the gest and squeezed my hand tightly. Her grip was weak, not fit for someone who is to follow her parents into war. Her grip was weak, and that made me happy. She isn’t someone who should ever see what war looks like, so she never even needed to have a strong grip or anything like that in the first place.

“Lune, there’s another thing I wanted to tell you, besides that.” Cecily smiled mischievously, “I wanted to tell you about my plan.”

“Your plan?” I repeated, “A plan for what?”

“A plan to escape the war without ever having to attend it, of course!”

Those eyes…! Those eyes that are brimming with hope! Those are the very same eyes that pitted the two titans of the Great Hiana underworld, and from their ashes built ARA! Those eyes that said they’ll see Nelly grow up to be an amazing person that will one day change the world, those are the eyes Cecily is showing me! Without a doubt, she isn’t at all joking, and I’ll bet everything I have on the fact that her plan was meticulously thought out from start to finish.

“Explain it to me tomorrow, okay?” I said with a smile on my face.

Just then, I had noticed that I got swept up in the mood and went in for a kiss without thinking. Expecting another childish rom-com like development to occur, I was surprised at Cecily’s response. Immediately after noticing I was leaning closer to her, Cecily backed away, almost falling off the other side of the bed herself. It was obvious to anyone, she was still traumatized from my earlier beating. Just what the hell have I done?

Awkwardly staring at each other, I dejectedly turned away from both her and Nelly in shame. Cecily called out to me, but I pretended to have fallen asleep to avoid facing her. I fear that if I look at her face one more time, I really won’t be able to handle the guilt…