"Huh, Nel is here?" Uncle immediately quieted down once he saw me.
"Yeah, and if you haven't noticed, you just scared the life out of her." Auntie scolded him, "What kind of a way is that to enter a house? Even if it's your own."
"See Ed, you're just making it worse, come on." Issei was still trying desperately to contain uncle's rage.
"Sorry Nel, I guess I did get a bit too mad just now." Uncle sighed as he sat down with everyone.
"Y-You mentioned something about Lem?" I gulped, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." He said simply, "The kid's gotta go."
What?! Why the sudden change of tune, I thought you liked-err, well, tolerated him at the very least! Hell, even everyone else in the room looks stunned.
"What? Why?" I asked.
"You know damn well why, Nel. He's the devil's spawn!"
"That's rather rude to say, isn't it?" Auntie muttered under her breath, "Even if it IS that twerp Lemmy..."
I see she knows him too, probably from the time they lived in Stringwood. That being said, the only thing I personally would know about why he's in trouble is, well... that.
"C-Care to elaborate, uncle?" I looked down, hoping to every single one of the Gods that he wouldn't find my acting suspicious and probe into my brain.
"Nel... Sigh." He let his head droop, "It's... nothing. He's just being a pain, that's all."
"Yeah, yeah, let them settle it themselves." Issei patted him on the back, "It's not ours to mess with it."
"Well I can't just stand back and watch, can I?" Uncle grabbed his head anxiously.
Settle 'it' themselves? So whatever 'it' is has nothing to do with either uncle nor Issei, which only leaves the worst person of all... Dad. If it's something between dad and Lem, then I'm afraid dad might actually kill his coworker who also happens to be my friend.
"Is it something to do with dad, then...?" I went to ask.
"Hm? N-No, not yet at least..." Uncle said begrudgingly, "Actually, the entire reason why I'm mad is because Issei forbid me from speaking up about it to your father. Just a... bout between guys, that's all. Don't worry about it."
Okay? Now I'm even more confused. A bout between guys, he says—That could be lethal if left unchecked. But at least we know dad's none the wiser about whatever it is that happened while they were on the job.
"But what is it?" I turned to ask Issei, since uncle obviously didn't wanna share.
"Not a clue, but I just knew whatever it is was probably kept a secret for a reason." Issei shrugged, "You know that glint in someone's Eye when they're about to expose someone's worst secret to the world? I saw that in Ed, so I just reacted prematurely to keep the peace."
"So nothing even happened?" Grandma too tilted her head.
"No. Thanks to Issei's sixth sense, that is." Uncle put his palm to his head.
"Hm, I see, so nothing happened." Grandpa nodded along, "That means the issue is resolved. Moving on!"
"E-Eh? No, dad, that's..."
"Shut up, son. More importantly..." Grandpa turned to his newest son-in-law, making a weird face that doesn't at all suit him I could only describe as his honest smile, "I hear that our youngest daughter got engaged to a very spiffing young man~!"
"Ah, Sigmund." Issei bashfully smiled, "I-I mean! I didn't want it to be like this! I wanted to prepare a bit more, but...!"
"What's wrong?" Grandma worried.
"Ahem. Sigmund and Camilla Saint!" Issei stood up to bow a perfect 90° degrees, "It is selfish and deplorable for me to say this after waiting for so long, and not only that, but to not ask for permission from her parents as well!"
"Hrm?" Grandpa raised an Eyebrow.
"Oh my..." Grandma too looked stunned.
"I, Issei Kaido, wish to spend the rest of my life with your daughter, Eleanor Saint!" He blurted out, "Whilst I still have Othelia as my fiancée, I promise to wholeheartedly devote myself to both women and make them happy! I only hope that you'll excuse my tardiness in delivering this message, for I wanted to find a proper way to tell you, and if possible with the best gift at hand!"
"Issei, we..." Grandma covered her mouth, "We already know you two were engaged?"
"Eh?" He deflated.
"Yeah, Ed explained the situation to us the moment he came here." Grandpa scratched his head, "Though we already advocated for it, so we don't really mind."
"B-But...?" Issei was taken aback by this way too lax situation, "I'm in a polyamorous relationship with your daughter, though?"
"Well it's odd, yes, but I'm sure it's fine if none of you actually mind." Grandpa shrugged, "Besides, let's face it—It's either that or she'll be a bachelorette for the rest of her life..."
"I'm gonna tell sis you said that, just so you know." Uncle rolled his Eyes.
"Do that and I'll take off the door hinges from your bedroom."
"Understandable, mum's the word." Uncle mimed zipping up his mouth.
They sure know how to settle disputes quickly... But still, maybe they're just being amicable since I'm here? I doubt anyone would just accept a guy like Issei into their family, much less if he approaches them in this way.
"If you're confused, my father-in-law really likes Issei." Auntie Anna whispered into my ear, "He kept trying to get him and Eleanor together, so now that it actually happened, he's as happy as a kid in a candy shop."
"Seriously? What's there to like about him?" I asked.
"What's there to like!?" Grandpa gasped, "Heavens, dear, what isn't!?"
"Oh boy, here we go..." Every one of the Saints facepalmed.
"Issei is the very definition of a gentleman!" Grandpa started the onslaught of praises, "A cultured individual walking among us filthy livestock! Some of the most esteemed of nobles don't conduct themselves so elegantly in front of elders as he does, and he does it without expecting a single thing in return!"
"Heh, you can thank my strict Japanese upbringing for that..." Issei blushed.
"And that, a foreigner!" Grandpa smiled, "I was happy enough just to hear he'd be staying here close to us, but when I heard he'd joined our family? I was crying tears of joy, I tell you! Honestly, if there's anyone in the world who deserves more than one wife, it's him! And guess what, dear—That wife is our daughter! Yippee!!"
Wow, they weren't kidding when they said he rejuvenates every time Issei is mentioned. What the hell, I don't remember ever seeing this cranky grandpa smile so much, even to us!
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
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"Oi, you do realize he's a wolf hidden in sheep's clothing, right?" Uncle groaned, "Don't get me wrong, Issei's a good friend of mine, but I'll be damned if I accept him as my brother-in-law."
"Aww, what? But didn't you already do that, Ed?" Issei whined.
"Wrong, I accepted that my sister is happy with you." Uncle reclined, "I never said I was."
"Ah, is that so?"
"That is so."
"I get it."
"I know you do."
"You're jealous of what me and your sister have, so you wanna take her place." Issei reclined as well, "We'll always have room for you, Ed~"
"I see." Uncle nodded, "So you DO want your skull bashed in."
"Ah, see what I mean? It's all skullbashing and killing with men nowadays!" Grandpa pointed out uncle's comments, "Back in my days, people like my son would have died unmarried and single, and the ones that actually DID show some level of restraint and respect got all the women!"
"You were the rowdiest of your generation though, dear." Grandma outed him, "You ran a fight club just to get some extra spending money, for Heaven's sake!"
"Wait, you what?" Uncle craned his head back, "Dad, how come you never told me this important lore about yourself?"
"B-Because men never talk about the past." Grandpa solemnly stated, "We look towards a brighter future."
"My ass, you just got outed for being a hypocrite by mom and now you wanna save face!"
"Oh, shut it, you! Issei, can you believe this boy? The things he says to slander good men like us..." Grandpa asked for backup from his son-in-law.
"Eheh, I think it's best if we all just get along, ha-ha..."
"...Right you are, Issei!" Grandpa switched tunes the moment he heard his opinion on the matter, "We came here not to bicker amongst ourselves, but to hear out our little princess' worries and help guide her as adults."
"You switched gears way too fast, old man. Can you be any more spineless towards him?" Uncle sighed, "But yeah, why IS Nel here? You never usually come by."
"I just don't wanna come by unannounced is all." I shrugged.
"Well what else are you gonna do, send us a letter of notice?" He chuckled, "Come on, you know you guys are always welcome in our house. Grim and I are best friends, so his kids are like my kids."
"Which explains why you still don't have kids of your own..." Grandpa muttered, "You shooting blanks, or is it Annie's fault...?"
With a stern slap from grandmother, he had no choice but to keep quiet on the matter. But the damage was already done, since the air turned sour within the second. Obviously, everyone expected uncle to lash out, but what we were really scared of was the effect this'd have on auntie Anna. It's no secret they love each other very much, and it's genuinely a damned surprise they still somehow don't have one, but I guess it's just not in their cards yet. Still, as a girl, I can only imagine the pressure that's being put on her. Hearing your in-laws constantly weigh over your head that you still haven't given them grandkids, that must suck...
"I'm sor..." Auntie looked saddened.
"You'll get your damned grandkids when I feel like it." Uncle slammed the table we were seated around, "Be it from me or this jerk sitting next to me, you'll get 'em eventually, but know this—If I ever impregnate Anna, it's because I wanted to, not anyone else. If my son or daughter is born just to get you off our case, dad, then I'm fucking terrified that I'll hate them for the rest of my life. If that's what you want, then you're free to pack your bags and pester Issei and Eleanor just like you're pestering me—IN. THEIR. HOUSE."
"Well said, son." Grandma agreed as she comforted auntie, "Your father's just being his usual antsy self, I'm sure you know, but I agree that he needed to hear this much at least."
"Ed, I..." Auntie broke down, "I don't want you to hate our kids! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for putting that pressure on you, I didn't know you felt that way! We don't have to-!"
"No, calm down." He smiled warmly, "I... It's a very reasonable fear for me to have—To one day regret having a kid. But that doesn't mean I don't want one."
"It doesn't...?" She sniffled.
"Of course not. I love you, and I want to make you happy." He nodded, "I'd just like for us to have the freedom to do so at our own pace. In other words, I'm mad at my shitass dad, not you."
"Pheh, you're the victim and I'm the bad guy, of course that's how you'll spin it..." Grandpa muttered angrily, "Tch, fine. I was just trying to give you some positive encouragement, but if you're so full, I guess I won't overfeed."
"We don't need it." Uncle sternly replied, "So let's end it there."
Wow, I just witnessed something incredible... That was a really bad situation, but thankfully uncle stood his ground and defended auntie at the same time. He really knows how to handle his dad's bullcrap. I guess the only way to properly resolve an issue is to speak your mind without fear. That's something I owe Lem, definitely.
"Ah, did we scare you off, Nel?" Uncle noticed me getting up, "Sorry about that. Please, do sit down."
"No, it's not that. I finished my drink, and I'm still in my sleepwear, so I'd like to change properly." I giggled, "Sorry for the intrusion."
"Dear, you're always welcome." Grandma gave me one more hug for the road.
"Guess that's my cue to go home as well." Issei stood up to go with me, "Thank you again for accepting me, mister and missus Saint."
"Ah, now that you've resolved that for yourself, why don't the three of you come live with us until the house is finished?" Grandpa suggested with a smile, "I doubt you're bothering them, but I'm sure the Grimhearts would also agree that it makes more sense for you to be here, no?"
"You really are an anomaly, old man." Uncle shut him up with a smirk, "You want grandkids, but you don't want Anna and me to be loud. Likewise, I wonder how you'd feel if you heard those three shake up the place?"
"Immediately jumps to sex, he does!" Grandpa snapped, "Do you honestly think our Issei is a horndog like you? For Heaven's sake, son, they just got engaged!"
"...Heh." Uncle smugly grinned at the very much guilty Issei.
"Ed, let's go, come on...!!!" Issei tugged him away with an anxious whisper, "I see those Eyes of yours! They're the same Eyes you had with Lem today, so zip it!"