"Uh huh, yeah so basically we'll be back in a couple weeks, I think." Issei informed his mother on the phone, "What do you mean you don't understand what I'm saying? Look, I get it, I went missing for a decade or so, but point is I'm back. That being said, I still have some unfinished business, so you and dad are gonna have to wait a while before we can come face to face. Sigh, okay, bye."

"I didn't know your mother spoke English." I said as soon as he hung up.

"...Wait, was I speaking in English just now?"

"The entire time, yes." Ouroboras answered, "You got so used to speaking English in another world that you subconsciously replied to your mother in it."

"Damn my bilingualism! No wonder she kept repeating "I don't understand"! Geez, why didn't you tell me anything earlier?"

"How could I have known you were a dumbass?" I then thought about it, "On second thought, I should have expected as much, so the fault is in fact on me."

"You ass!" Issei cursed me before angrily turning to the Sun God, "And you, Ouri! If you have omnipotence like Aru does, then you knew my mistake from the start! Why didn't you warn me!?"

"It appears you still treat me as that Meil friend of yours, given your frankly disgusting overly-familiar tone when referring to me." He let it be known, "That being the case, I will have to once again inform you that I am not the friendly and aloof person you confuse me as. I am one of the Five Gods, so show some respect, mortal. Failure to comply will..."

"Will lead to immediate incineration, we get it." Both Issei and I finished the lyrics with a tired Eye roll.

"If you get it, then put it into practice."

"Whatever, in any case, what will we do now?" I turned to Issei.

"Hm? Well, we've still got two whole months and then some before we travel to the mountain." He shrugged, "I dunno why this guy was in such a hurry, because unless he planned on going by foot, there's no way it takes more than a week of travel time tops with the technology of the 21st century."

"........"

"Dude." We turned to a silent Ouroboras.

"You were actually planning on going there by foot?" Issei chuckled, "Hold on, do you even know the map of your own world, Ouri? You'd have to swim across from Japan to the rest of the continent before you could even get on the same landmass as the damned mountain."

"...Is taking the peaceful scenic route so wrong?" He grunted bashfully, turning his head away dismissively with frowned Eyes.

This guy's surprisingly human, ironically enough. He's got a bit of a temper, he's unkind and not at all friendly, but then he goes and throws this curveball on us that he likes to go on solo walks?

"What's next, Ouri's gonna say he likes puppies and kittens as well?"

"I do like them, Lune Grimheart." Ouri replied seriously, "Though I am much more of a dog person, but that does not mean I hate cats by any means."

"Look man, between the three of us - I'll take a dog girl maid if your catgirls are out of stock." Issei said in a down-low yet equally as serious tone.

"There will be no animal-human hybrids so long as I am alive!" Ouri snapped, "And you, Lune Grimheart! Do not think I have not noticed you started calling me Ouri! Cease this instant, failure to comply will-!"

"Okay, okay! I'll stick to Ouroboras, chill!"

Dammit, I started calling him Ouri in my head because Issei kept calling him that! Besides, what's wrong with that nickname! It's way easier on the tongue than Ouroboras! O-Ow, something's sizzling in my brain! I didn't mean to offend you, Oh Great and Mighty Ouroboras, so freaking stop trying to turn my brain into bacon!

"Then, I guess we need a basic travel plan for the next two months." Issei put it in simple terms, "At the very least, we know we don't have to immediately head straight for Mount Everest, but that begs the question - What'll we do until then?"

"Wander the world. This is not up for debate." Ouroboras folded his arms.

"I'd like to see more of this world's culture and technology." I added, "Honestly, I don't mind wandering around like Ouroboras said, but at the very least fulfill that wish for me while we're at it."

"Eh, if we have the time, then I'd like to go see my parents at least once before we head off." Issei shrugged, "All three of our wishes differ from one another."

"Hmm... Or do they?" I raised a point, "Because if we plan things out properly, we could make all three align perfectly."

"Go on then."

"Basically, we set our sights on wandering through Japan until we make it to your parents." I elaborated, "That way we can see the culture of Japan in all its glory, you get to see your parents, and Ouroboras' wish of walking around is also fulfilled. Everyone's happy."

"But I only wish to walk if it is alone." Ouroboras protested, "If I am doing it with anyone else, then it becomes annoying."

"Quit being so gloomy, Ouri. You'll never find yourself a girl if you keep acting like that." Issei thought to tease him.

"I already have a lover, though."

"...Come again?"

"The Water Goddess Allucius and I have been married for a few tens of thousands of Universe Cycles now." He revealed, "Then again, it was her idea to begin with, and nothing worthy of note has changed since we went through with it."

"Oh right, I guess what Aru said back then was true about you two being lovers." I recalled, "But what do you mean by that latter part? How come nothing's changed since before you two got married? Is it even possible to stay the same after that?"

"Well, we still only ever see each other every ten years for a bit during the meet." He sighed, "And even then, I do not exactly see her in a romantic light. She just never gave up on pestering me to become my bride, so I gave in after I could not take any more."

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

"I'll bet. With such a childlike body, it can be hard to think of her like that." Issei figured.

"Childlike?" He raised an Eyebrow.

Is it not, though...?

----------------------------------------

***

----------------------------------------

"Then, before we go setting off on any journeys around the country, we should probably be a bit more thorough with our plans." Issei proposed as we sat ourselves down at the nearest McDonald's, "For our dear friend Lune's sake, I think we ought to get a proper taste of Japan, don't you?"

"Do not refer to me as either one of yours friend." Ouroboras grimaced.

"Then, you don't have anything you'd like to do while we're here?"

"...I would like to taste some quality sake."

This guy's such a tsundere, I think they should update the dictionary to have his name next to it in brackets as an example. Oh wait, now that I think about it, Issei was the one who taught me that word. Yeah, it hails from this very land.

"Oh, you like our alcohol, Ouri? I'm proud of my ancestors for making something that pleases even a pain in the ass God like you."

"Ah, so it's alcohol." I figured as much, "Then, I'll have to skip out on that one, but you two go ahead."

"What? Come on, dude, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Issei got mad.

"No means no, I quit alcohol a long time ago." I recalled the promise I made to Marina, "Besides, you of all people should know to keep me away from it."

"Ah, right, you get like that when you're drunk..." Issei shivered, "Then, we'll just have to find an equally as enjoyable substitute for you - The onsen!"

"Onsen?"

"Hot springs." Ouroboras filled me in, "A public pool, sometimes but not always placed outside, where you soak in the natural springwater from the nearby source. It is said to relieve aches of all kinds, among other health benefits."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Ouri!" Issei patted him on the back, "Except you forgot to mention the most important part - We'll be going to a mixed bath one, so we get to gawk at all the girls scrubbing themselves raw without even being labeled as perverts! An all you can eat buffet for the Eyes!"

"Is that so?" I chuckled, "Then count me out on that as well. I'm married."

"Hell no! I can forgive you for skipping the sake kinda, but you ain't leaving this world until you've had a proper soak!" Issei shook me up.

"Bah! I-I ain't budging on this one, Issei! Quit it!"

"Ugh, fine..." He stopped begrudgingly, "Look, I was just joking about going to the mixed bath. Obviously we'll go to the men's side so you don't pop any cheating boners."

"You were, in fact, not joking." Ouroboras gave him away, though I already knew as much even before he said anything.

"Oh, I got another idea!" Issei snapped his fingers, "We GOTTA go for a shrine visit!"

"Ehh, going to a place of worship for another God is kinda..." I glanced at Ouroboras.

"Sure." He surprisingly agreed without issue.

"Huh? You don't mind?"

"Why should I? I said it before, but so long as the humans believe in their own Gods, the Five Gods can freely wander the world without issue." He shrugged, "Besides, I imagine Issei Kaido is more so showing you the shrine from a tourist perspective, rather than wanting to indoctrinate you into the religion."

"Fair point, I did say I wanted to see more of Japan's culture..." I reasoned, "Then, can I add something to the list as well?"

"Oh, good idea." Issei nodded.

"I wanna watch an anime." I pointed to the neon sign outside the window, "It's that thing there, right? The one with the cool looking dude illustrated on it."

"Oh, that's a surprise, but sure." Issei obliged, "Though this one is something new, I've personally never seen any mention of it."

"Transcontinental: Documenting this Vast World One Step at a Time." Ouroboras recited, "An anime based on the web novel of the same name. Set in an alternate world different from ours in many ways, it reels you in with its lighthearted tone and joke-filled characters. It has its emotional moments, but the author of the original work has stated multiple times that it is primarily a story that should not be taken too seriously."

"Wow, obsessed fan much, Ouri?"

"I merely recited the synopsis." He pointed to his Eye, "I am omniscient, after all. Your phone has no FRI compatibility, so you cannot search it up. Hence, I did it for you."

"Oh, I see, thank you." Issei nodded, "Then, we'll go binge it at my parents place. We're in the future after all, so the TV is bound to be massive."

"Are we not in the present right now?" I asked.

"I meant relative to the last time I was here." He sighed, "Anyone got anything else to add?"

"Shall we stop by a viewpoint to admire this country's most famed mountain?" Ouroboras suggested.

"Ah, Mount Fuji, doy!" Issei smirked, "I can't believe I forgot about it. Yeah, we're definitely going to see it."

"Hey, you guys have libraries, right?" I asked, "I'd like to buy a Japanese book to study the language, so a dictionary and a good book would do me well."

"Forever the Oh Great Bookworm, huh? Fine, it shouldn't be an issue, just so long as we get some money first."

Thinking up all sorts of crazy ideas and locations after that, we had a blast for the next few hours just charting out a route on a piece of paper I had Materialized for our convenience. Still, money was a bit of an issue, so we had to think of a good way to solve it. Besides that, there's also the matter with Issei's phone not being able to use the Internet. Can't say I understand what the Internet is, though, but from what I've gathered, life without it is a real chore.