Dear diary,

My portals don't work. I'm stuck here.

I probably should have spent more time learning about magic instead of earning money then maybe I would know what to do in this situation...

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Aren't you like a magic book? Didn't a bunch of words show up that one time I fed you a dragon? Do I have to feed you more dragons to unlock your magical expertise? Do I have to say magic words?

Abracadabra.

Please help me I'll sell you my soul.

I'm sorry for feeding you worms. Please help.

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> [Debt. Sacrifice. Payment]

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Ok.

I don't understand.

Can you try to be less cryptic please.

Love,

Tina