Dear diary, 

Nice to meet you!

My name is Tina. I like vegetables and lemons. From now on we're best friends. 

Goodman says I should write down my feelings so I don't go crazy. I don't know what he's talking about, I'm not crazy. 

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

But I should probably write things down so you know what's going on. (Cause that's what best friends do!)

You know, this is the first time I've ever had a best friend. It's always just been me and Goodman. We live underground with the worms. We grow vegetables from the worm poop. I don't like eating the worms. They're friends. Goodman says they're our only source of protein so I should just suck it up and eat. I feel really guilty when I do.  

Don't worry I won't eat you. Not even if Goodman tells me to. 

I really like your sparkles by the way.

Love, 

Tina