Admin 5 took a deep breath, summoning Hash to the Void.
The woman looked around in surprise, the usual reaction, and finally turned to look apprehensively at 5.
“Greetings,” Admin 5 said, trying to remain formal. “I need to speak to you about what will happen when we reach the end of Cycle 30.”
Hash smiled. “We’re gonna win, yeah?”
Admin 5 nodded slowly, frowning.
Hash noticed her hesitation. “Isn’t… that a good thing?”
“You seem to be the most level-headed of my players,” 5 said. “As such, I need you to convince everyone to not accept the prize.”
“What? Why?” Hash demanded.
“There are two reasons. The first has to do with the nature of the reward. We…” Admin 5 stopped, looking around to make sure they were alone before explaining. “My group of Admins, us, we don’t know how to build cities. We build planets. We know geography and tectonic plates and river systems and how ocean currents affect global temperature. We don’t know how to get food and water to several thousand people in a small area. We don’t know how plumbing works. We haven’t used money in so long we don’t know how economies run. It was never something we were supposed to be doing. We’re trying our best, but there are millions of moving pieces and we only understand about a dozen.”
Hash was looking uncomfortable, so Admin 5 summoned two chairs. They sat down, facing each other.
“Simply put,” 5 continued, “the planet you’re going to is stable. The world is not. Things are going to break; cities will probably lack some vital components. The Director decided to place people in charge who were either insane enough that no one would question the city breaking, or people with the mental fortitude to see problems and fix them before anyone riots. Either way, that would be people who could spend years doing the same gruesome, thankless task endlessly.”
Hash’s face was pale. “So we’re set up to fail.”
“Essentially, yes.”
The orange-eyed neko got up and began pacing. “I wondered how beating a dungeon would make us qualified to run a city or kingdom. This… I hate it, but I get it.”
“The second reason I’d like you to refuse the prize is to ask for a different one,” 5 said. “As it stands, there will be twelve races and subraces on the new planet. Six, belonging to the top three Admins, will receive good fortune. And six will receive bad fortune. Everyone who receives bad fortune will be doomed to failure. I would like you to request, in exchange for the prize, that the bad fortune be put on animals instead of people.”
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“Fortune?”
“Bad… luck. Karma. Cosmic energy. …Vibes.”
Hash nodded slowly, taking her seat again. “What animals?”
“Any animal you dislike. Snakes, squids, ducks, penguins, cows, frogs, koalas, anything. All I want is for the bad fortune to not go to people.”
“Wait, on our old planet, who had the bad fortune?”
Admin 5 tried to remember. “Humans, housecats and cockroaches had the biggest amount of good fortune. The bad fortune… There was a type of saber-toothed cat that developed jaw bones which made it nearly impossible for them to eat. There was a mini elephant that… was just too small. There were a few others, but the last creature with negative fortune to go extinct was the dodo.”
“Cockroaches?” Hash repeated.
“Yes.”
“Ok, I’m giving all the bad fortune to cockroaches, mosquitoes, spiders, centipedes, scorpions and… and gnats,” Hash decided.
Admin 5 smiled. “I wouldn’t argue with that list, but the Director might. She might insist on specific types of each, like black widow spider. Or she might insist the list include a few mammals. So start with that, then specify and expand so she can’t find any reason to deny you.”
“Understood,” Hash said, drumming her fingers on her knees as she thought.
After a few seconds of silence, Admin 5 cleared her throat. “So, will you decline the reward?”
“The reward of being turned into a scapegoat? Yeah, not taking that,” Hash said. “I’ll talk to my group about it.”
“Thank you.”
“But, if we don’t accept being leaders, who will the job go to? What will we do instead?”
“I’m not sure,” Admin 5 admitted. “But I believe the Director will add those jobs to the list of jobs, and whoever wants to take it can. Admins can recommend people for certain positions, but it’s up to those people to accept or reject them.”
“So the job will fall to someone who doesn’t know?”
“To someone who we think can handle it,” 5 clarified. “As opposed to someone who doesn’t know and whose failure is expected. Like, I think you would be a good ruler; I’m going to recommend you. And in the bigger mob groups, usually there’s someone who makes most of the decisions. In most player groups of three or more, there’s a leader. So you declining would allow us to put people in leadership positions a little more strategically.”
Hash nodded again. “Ok. But… if you don’t usually build cities, why are you? Why are we all here, anyway? What happened-”
“I can’t tell you,” Admin 5 said sharply, glancing around again. “I shouldn’t be talking to you at all. Please, don’t ask any more questions.”
“Oh.” Hash turned in her seat, looking behind her. “Ok.”
Admin 5 sat up straight, speaking slowly, distinctly. “I have not told you anything about the dungeons or the nature of souls. I will not answer any questions about death or Earth. I have only told you about fortune and the world to which you will be sent after Cycle 30.”
“R-right,” Hash said, eyes darting around.
“I will now return you to the Master Dungeon, where you have permission to discuss what I have told you with the rest of your group,” Admin 5 said.
Hash hesitated. “Thank you?”
“You are welcome,” she said, and sent the woman back to her cabin.
Admin 5 took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly, running the conversation back in her mind. She didn’t think she’d said anything forbidden. Hoping it was fine, she teleported back to the office.
All the Admins watched as she took her seat.
“She agreed,” 5 said. “There was no problem.”
Everyone relaxed.