Dear Diary,

Well, we were supposed to get to the evil bug level today, but somehow we spent it hanging out with the kobolds instead. Aya was the only one who was upset about that.

We spent the day- well, I spent most of the day cooking with Nat. She doesn’t ever get new ingredients, so she just wanted to play with mine. Which I was totally fine with, since she was able to make a good enough imitation of lemon meringue pie. And I failed to make a mocha mousse. It was super fun.

Mika spent the day playing music and writing songs with the band. Kimi spent the day… I think she and Y were figuring out whether or not the dungeon is straight up/down, or if it spirals, or what. They measured a lot of things, and then he left for an hour to measure the stairs leading to the bug level. Staab (he was there, of course) joined in the kobold’s races. Lilly cheered him on, and found out that it was possible to teach kobolds spells. I think she gave them a corrupted fireball? It’s basically a fireball, but it shoots out of your mouth, so it looks like you’re breathing fire. The kobolds loved that one.

Aya spent most of the day hanging out with Lewis the dragon, trying to convince him to join us. He declined. He said the thought of leaving the kobolds felt super wrong, the same as talking about how we died. And while a couple of the kobolds would happily join us, I don’t think we could convince all of them to go. There are just too many of them. Plus if we used them to beat the next couple levels, how would we decide who gets to push the button? It wouldn’t be fair. It’s best if we go down in a small group.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Oh! As far as we can tell, there weren’t any changes to any level other than ours. The dire wolves are still our friends, and were super happy to see us. The sharks still faceplant into the ceiling, which is still funny. And the slimes still suck.

Throwing ranch dressing meatballs at them didn’t do much. They didn’t like it, but it didn’t one-shot KO them or anything. It’d probably be like a 30 shot KO. But Nat suggested making a hollow ball with bread, then fill that with ranch. That way we throw the ball, the slime eats it, bread dissolves, and then there’s an explosion of pure ranch dressing. Which should be like, a two-shot KO. Maybe one, maybe three, but less than five for sure.

Or, at least that’s the theory. I’m gonna try it tomorrow. Nat showed me how to make a hollow dough ball, and then we got a thing for injecting the ranch dressing out of a health pack. Well, it’s not technically for injecting ranch dressing into a hollow dough ball, because I don’t think something that specific exists. It’s for forcing health potions into someone’s mouth if they’re down but not completely dead yet. I think players get like ten seconds or something of just laying on the ground, dead, before they respawn somewhere safe. But anyways the injector thingy works.

So yeah, I’m off to make slime-killing ranch balls.

Goodnight, dungeon!

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